Prayers for ending an infatuation on my end

[angelic06]

Does anyone here have any specific prayers for ending an infatuation on my end?

Brief context: I am a single man, never married. There is a young woman, also never married, from my parish who moved years ago to another city. I started having feelings for her roughly a year ago, then they became rather strong this year. I prayed if it be God’s will that she will come back into my life, to no effect, since at least early March of this year. Consequently I consider the matter closed and I wish to rid myself of unhealthy desires and obsessions with this woman really quickly. This is no offense to her since she appears to me to be a godly woman.

(If anyone says, “just stop thinking of her”, you can be assured that that is no easy task.)

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Does anyone here have any specific prayers for ending an infatuation on my end?

Brief context: I am a single man, never married. There is a young woman, also never married, from my parish who moved years ago to another city. I started having feelings for her roughly a year ago, then they became rather strong this year. I prayed if it be God’s will that she will come back into my life, to no effect, since at least early March of this year. Consequently I consider the matter closed and I wish to rid myself of unhealthy desires and obsessions with this woman really quickly. This is no offense to her since she appears to me to be a godly woman.

(If anyone says, “just stop thinking of her”, you can be assured that that is no easy task.)

Man, have I been in that situation before… Basically spent 4 1/2 years infatuated with a woman who lived so far away (Yes, we actually met in real life and became friends) She lived in my state but moved away. I could not stop thinking about her for years.

Well… I do not know of any prayers to end infatuation but I have said a prayer for you and I have sympathy for your situation.

What worked for me was these things. I allowed myself to be rejected by this woman I was infatuated with. I let her know how I felt and she acted like she was open to the possibility of being more than friends and then stomped on my heart over a facebook message. If there is no hope for you and this woman, perhaps telling her how you feel and hearing her say that there is no hope would be the best and quickest cure for you. It will hurt like crazy but this is what did it for me. It was the possibility of hope that kept me infatuated with this woman. When I knew for sure that this hope was gone I no longer was infatuated. In fact, she broke my heart 8 months ago and I cannot even really say that I like this woman at all anymore. The though of her makes me a little angry sometimes TBH and I have brought this up in confession before. Not holding grudges is something I need work on. But think about it… the worst that can happen is you are rejected, hope is dashed but you get over her and the best that can happen is you have a chance with this woman possibly.

The other thing was after my hope was destroyed, I unfriended her on facebook, deleted all texts and emails and messages (and her voicemails, this is how pathetic I was, I saved her voice messages so I could hear her voice if I wanted) and I deleted all pictures of her I had stored on my computer and phone. Basically, the more out of sight, the more out of mind. Those things worked for me. Knowing there is no hope and out of sight out of mind.

I wish you the best in this matter. God bless.

 

[Viki63]

This is probably a dumb questions, but . .
have you told her how you feel? Have you asked her out? Maybe she would like to move back to your city and date you.
You can’t know if you don’t ask. Praying that she will come back seems kind of passive.
But if she rejects your overtures, as Laughingboy says, at least you will know where you stand.
God bless.

.

 

[egretps]

Does anyone here have any specific prayers for ending an infatuation on my end? …
(If anyone says, “just stop thinking of her”, you can be assured that that is no easy task.)

You are not the first person to have obsessive thoughts of a romantic interest. Not by a long shot. Often you just have to ride the wave until it passes.

I’m assuming you have talked with her about your feelings, OR decided that you really don’t want to for whatever reason. Not everyone we have crushes on are someone we should pursue. Some are sweeter from afar. Some are sweeter up close. You decide for you. (BTW I’m leaning towards contacting her and just seeing what she’s up to. If you know her family you can field them with asking if she’s still available. That’s how people did it in the old days.)

May I suggest something Fr. Solanus Casey would probably suggest? Have a Mass said for her. You can go to your local parish right there in San Antonio or online at Fr. Solanus’ former Mission’s office the Seraphic Mass Association. (You do NOT have to send her a Mass card, but you may if you do still have a happy acquaintance with her.) You can reach them at their website at: seraphicmass.org/

Also, whenever you do think of her, immediately say a prayer for her, including God’s most perfect Will for her. And later you may turn thoughts of her into a prompting for prayer, not just for her but for single people or for some other noble intention. Little by little those thoughts will subside. You may want to carry a holy card with you to refer when you do think of her, pick a favorite saint to have as a patron to ask for prayers to help you through this. I’m partial to Padre Pio. Ask him for his help, he’s wonderful!

If you find yourself getting depressed over the obsession, please go see a therapist or physician. That doesn’t have much to do with romance, but it may be a factor in something else going on.

God Bless you and your heart! You are in my prayers.

 

[ynotzap]

Does anyone here have any specific prayers for ending an infatuation on my end?

Brief context: I am a single man, never married. There is a young woman, also never married, from my parish who moved years ago to another city. I started having feelings for her roughly a year ago, then they became rather strong this year. I prayed if it be God’s will that she will come back into my life, to no effect, since at least early March of this year. Consequently I consider the matter closed and I wish to rid myself of unhealthy desires and obsessions with this woman really quickly. This is no offense to her since she appears to me to be a godly woman.

(If anyone says, “just stop thinking of her”, you can be assured that that is no easy task.)

It is my opinion that men in order to meet someone that God has in mind for them must expose themselves to heartbreaks, it’ part of maturing. What does infatuation constitute, good looks, pleasant personality, intelligence, physical attractions etc? Were do we put our values in our quest for a partner? A deep trust In God’s providence is necessary to maintain hope no matter the heartbreaks. I speak from experience. I dated many times, and believe it or not, two of them became nuns, one left the convent after I married. One Is still a nun the other joined a religious order that promised never to marry. I loved everyone of them. I had a chance to marry a very beautiful girl, she wasn’t of my faith but I still dated her, one date was all I needed to find out she wasn’t for me, not that she was undesirable. I finally met someone who was humble, was not exceptionally beautiful physically but was gifted with a joyful spirit, a loving and kind person, of the same faith (something I really desired) and it turned out that she could handle all of my faults, and inadequacies and I am thankful to God for her. Age removes a lot of things that cause infatuation and what you have left is a person with beautiful qualities. Your partner becomes “your soul” buddy A enduring trust in God’s love and providence is what your prayer should contain. Accept what looks like failure (it really isn’t) and move on.

 

[angelic06]

You are not the first person to have obsessive thoughts of a romantic interest. Not by a long shot. Often you just have to ride the wave until it passes.

I’m assuming you have talked with her about your feelings, OR decided that you really don’t want to for whatever reason. Not everyone we have crushes on are someone we should pursue. Some are sweeter from afar. Some are sweeter up close. You decide for you. (BTW I’m leaning towards contacting her and just seeing what she’s up to. If you know her family you can field them with asking if she’s still available. That’s how people did it in the old days.)

May I suggest something Fr. Solanus Casey would probably suggest? Have a Mass said for her. You can go to your local parish right there in San Antonio or online at Fr. Solanus’ former Mission’s office the Seraphic Mass Association. (You do NOT have to send her a Mass card, but you may if you do still have a happy acquaintance with her.) You can reach them at their website at: seraphicmass.org/

Also, whenever you do think of her, immediately say

If you find yourself getting depressed over the obsession, please go see a therapist or physician. That doesn’t have much to do with romance, but it may be a factor in something else going on.

God Bless you and your heart! You are in my prayers.

Don’t worry, I am not depressed, bit thanks!

 

[macstar]

There’s a saying in Spanish that goes, “One nail drives out the other.” Start asking other women out on dates, go on blind dates, ask folks to set you up, get active in groups, etc.

 

[fin]

The suggestion to offer up a Mass and pray for her is very good.

I do online dating, and one of the things I do is to pray for all that I’m interacting with, past, present, and future. I stretch it, praying also that each of them may meet their wife soon, if they are to be married, and have a good marriage. I pray for myself to meet a good husband, so figured why not pray for these men as well? After all, we are doing online dating because we want to be in a relationship.

 

[fin]

I finally met someone who was humble, was not exceptionally beautiful physically but was gifted with a joyful spirit, a loving and kind person, of the same faith (something I really desired) and it turned out that she could handle all of my faults, and inadequacies and I am thankful to God for her. Age removes a lot of things that cause infatuation and what you have left is a person with beautiful qualities. Your partner becomes “your soul” buddy A enduring trust in God’s love and providence is what your prayer should contain.

Wonderful!

 

[AdamP88]

This is probably a dumb questions, but . .
have you told her how you feel? Have you asked her out? Maybe she would like to move back to your city and date you.
You can’t know if you don’t ask. Praying that she will come back seems kind of passive.
But if she rejects your overtures, as Laughingboy says, at least you will know where you stand.
God bless.

.

I second this. If you never try you’ll never know, as the song goes.

My wife lived at the other side of the continent from me. If I hadn’t told her my feelings it’s possible nothing would have ever happened between us.

 

[chevalier]

Does anyone here have any specific prayers for ending an infatuation on my end?

Can’t think of anything specific, but neither do you need any! God does dictate certain specific prayers in revelation, but isn’t prayer supposed to be about communication? I believe it’s fine if you just talk to God about the problem. That’s what I do.

In terms of the non-supernatural, just don’t obsess. Try not to think about it. You can’t possibly will it out of your head or heart, that ain’t gonna happen no matter what. In fact, should you even try, you’d only make things worse. Instead, depending on your disposition, centre on prayer or hang out with friends and do something that absorbs your attention.

I often find intellectual labour to be insufficient, but manual labour that requires some thought to do tends to be very helpful. Or sport. You will need to burn the excess energy.

Plus, acceptance & commitment. Accept what you can’t change but commit to acting on the values that matter. You can’t unmake the infatuation that exists, but you can very much not act on it. Still mind over matter, though in a far less gimmicky sense than one usually thinks of.

Brief context: I am a single man, never married. There is a young woman, also never married, from my parish who moved years ago to another city. I started having feelings for her roughly a year ago, then they became rather strong this year. I prayed if it be God’s will that she will come back into my life, to no effect, since at least early March of this year. Consequently I consider the matter closed and I wish to rid myself of unhealthy desires and obsessions with this woman really quickly. This is no offense to her since she appears to me to be a godly woman.

Not to pry, but I read nothing about any sort of rejection on her part? Weren’t you, sir, perchance, just trying to go by with clues and subtleties? Women are just as hopeless at picking up on hints from men as vice versa. In some cases you need to resort to phrasing that is the equivalent of a pneumatic sledgehammer — and even then they still don’t catch the first time.

(If anyone says, “just stop thinking of her”, you can be assured that that is no easy task.)

Again, find something else to think about. There’s a big chance books won’t work, but if so then talking to others (friends, family) should do the job. I almost wrote ‘do the trick’, but the very point is there ain’t no tricks here, just some honest work to do (hence ‘job’).

Good luck!

 

[Crusaderbear]

Go out more with others…praying for you.