Prayers for Marriage Restoration

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sunny_days

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I beg your prayers for my marriage. Our 8th anniversary is next Tuesday. My husband asked for a divorce in late September and since then I have been on an emotional roller coaster like I have never experienced before. My husband has been cheating on me with a co-worker (they both travel extensively for work and have been meeting up across the country) since right before he asked for the divorce. He had a change of heart (?) this weekend and said he wanted to save our marriage, but only for the sake of our seven year old daughter. He does not want to destroy her life. He is in love with the other woman and cares for me, but is not “in love” with me anymore. Obviously he is not thinking clearly and I can’t believe much (any?) of what he says concerning his feelings at this point. From moment to moment I do not know what to expect from him or how to respond to him!

He has fallen away from his faith over the years of our marriage and believes he was at the pinnacle of his faith when we got together and had nowhere to go but down (we met in a liturgy study group and bonded over our work in the pro-life movement). He hasn’t been going to Mass much (not at all when traveling) and lately just seems like he can barely even pray with us at night.

It pains me to see him this way. The spiritual battle going on within him is actually visible physically now. He is racked with guilt and sometimes almost recoils when I try to do something loving for him. I’m trying to go out of my way to be a better wife (I am aware of my own brokenness and bad habits that played a part in the break down of our relationship) and meet the needs I previously wasn’t meeting, but I’m torn up inside and my heart is broken.

Please pray that our marriage will be restored to a state better than it ever was before. Please pray for my husband, that he will be able to face his guilt in a healthy way instead of using alcohol to numb the pain. Please pray for his emotional development (example: he is ashamed that he cried in front of me the other day and is unwilling to be vulnerable at all unless he has some alcohol in him). Pray that he has the will and courage to return to Jesus. He is not willing to give up this job that he works with the other woman and will have to continue to be in contact with the other woman, if only professionally…so pray that God somehow works this situation for good.

Pray for me that I may have the strength to continue to stand for my marriage and to approach him with a servant’s heart. It is very difficult to deal with my own emotional hurt while trying to approach him in the most loving, gentle way possible. Pray for my patience and perseverance, and that I can let go of my worry and leave it in God’s hands.

Pray for the other woman, that she may completely lose her desire to be with my husband and that she will respect his requests for no further personal communication (she said she was going to check back with him in a couple of months…:confused:). Pray that she may develop a relationship with Jesus. Pray for her healing from her divorce that happened this summer.

Finally, please pray for my daughter, that her innocence will not be destroyed by what is taking place in our family at this time. She doesn’t know what is going on so far.

Thank you prayer warriors, and may God abundantly bless you!

Sunny Days
 
Well, if he wants to try to save the marriage as he just said, would he be willing to do what would be necessary, like go to counseling (preferably with a Catholic Counselor like at Catholic Social Services) or Retrovaille? A secular counselor will often say divorce is okay, so I wouldn’t recommend that option.

If he hasn’t tried at least tried counseling, he hasn’t “tried”.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. :gopray:
 
Praying for the restoration of your marriage as well as for your husband to find his faith once again.

Also, praying for comfort for you during this unbearable time.

Michael
 
ClearWater said:
Well, if he wants to try to save the marriage as he just said, would he be willing to do what would be necessary, like go to counseling (preferably with a Catholic Counselor like at Catholic Social Services) or Retrovaille? A secular counselor will often say divorce is okay, so I wouldn’t recommend that option.

If he hasn’t tried at least tried counseling, he hasn’t “tried”.
Click to expand...
ClearWater, thank you for your prayers. So far (since he told me he wanted divorce in September), he has refused counseling and Retrouvaille. The other night we talked and made a list of things we could both do to improve (save) our marriage. One of these was marriage counseling. He told me the next day he thought we could just agree on these things and follow through and things would be fine (he said he felt like he negotiated a surrender). He thought he could just “switch off” his feelings for his affair partner, but later admitted he is in love with her and she fulfills him in ways he has never been fulfilled before. 😦

I have read that affairs are an actual addiction and to expect a withdrawal period like you would see with actual substance abuse. I’m trying to be patient and just respond when he approaches. Asking questions definitely pushes him away at this point! From moment to moment I don’t know whether he will blame me, express remorse, or just avoid me. Yesterday and today…avoiding.

My heart is broken for him (for his brokenness) and for our family.
 
Praying for the healing of your marriage, renewal and strengthen of faith and for your daughter.
 
Praying for you! You have so much strength, I am amazed by you
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
Hail Mary,
Full of grace,
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou amoungst women,
And blessed is the fruit of Thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of death,
Amen
 
Married 31 years. Almost divorced last year. We decided to try and save our marriage. It’s rough. Please pray for us.
 
I will pray for you 😦 I’m sorry to hear about what’s going on. You are very strong indeed. Maybe you can try to talk to him at a specific time and day and think about the things you want to say, or even show him this thread and maybe God with open his heart so that he see’s that you are in so much pain and that you are hurting. Maybe try “mindful listening”.

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.- Hebrews 10:36
 
Praying that the Lord may strengthen you and heal all the wounds in your marriage. Also praying that He may guide your husband.

Praying for all facing troubles in their marriages.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.
 
Praying for this marriage.
May God bless you both and give you strength

:gopray:

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Your Name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom
and the Power
and the Glory for ever and ever.
Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena,
Dominus tecum,
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen

:signofcross:
 
A few weeks ago this book was recommended on a thread I read here, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I downloaded on my kindle app and have been reading it and enjoying it very much. I heartily suggest that you do the same if possible, there is always hope and he shows you a way to restore even the most broken marriage. Give it a try. I will pray for you.

Memorare

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with Thee
Blessed art Thou amongst women
and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners.
Now and at the hour of our death,

Amen.
 
Sunny_Days,

It hurts my heart to read your story, I’m so sorry. Please don’t give up, and keep walking with your cross forward towards the Calvary. You’re a beautiful child of God, you are so precious in His eyes, you belong to Him. This is why He won’t give you a cross you can not carry. Please continue to be faithful to God, and indirectly you’re being faithful to your husband too. Put God first above everything, mind Him in all decisions you will make. Set an example to your husband of leading a life of self-giving and sacrifice. Open your eyes and see there is a battle going on of demons and Angels, for real. Good vs. evil. Stand up with St. Michael, Mary and God, and fight this evil that’s hurting your marriage. Remember that God won’t let the devil to tempt you beyond what you can handle. So make a resolution to fight evil with goodness, and keep praying. Thank God for everything you have now. Always stand on the light, shine so you can guide your husband back to God’s path. Do not divorce, fight evil! Don not let evil destroy your family, you’re not alone, be always in state of grace so you can deal with everything with a strong heart and will.

May God continue to bless you and your loved ones. Ask faithfully for his conversion and sanctification. And have faith! Faith can move mountains. Trust the Lord that your lost sheep will get back home! :hug3:

I’ll pray for you now.

Blessings,
Elizabeth
 
He left today to fly cross country to be with his new love for a few days (and to do some work), so I guess it is truly over. He said he can’t manufacture loving feelings for me that just aren’t there anymore. My heart is broken. God is holding me close. Thank you all for your prayers. 😦
 
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