S
stanzi
Guest
Hi. Its been years since I have visited CAF, and am in need of prayers.
The past year has been a struggle mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I feel like I have made a lot of wrong decisions that contributed to this, and I… need help. I’ve always wanted to have a spiritual director to guide me. But there are things that are preventing me.
I can be very anxious at times, and when speaking with people, especially with those with whom I feel are with “authority” (i.e. bosses, priests, people smarter than me, people I admire, people who are very holy, etc.) I tend to become flustered and not say what I am supposed to say. Sometimes my mind even goes blank, or I find my thoughts are cut off and/or not making any sense any more. (I’m much better at writing my thoughts than saying them, especially if impromptu).
Throw in pride into the mix because of sins comitted and shame for past actions, fear of being vulnerable, and I practically run away from the direction of spiritual direction.
Right now it is clear though that I should be doing just that. Not sure if I will be having the same conviction tomorrow. Actually, it is possible I will be backing out at the thought later today.
Will be truly grateful for your prayers so I would have the will and courage to go through with it.
The past year has been a struggle mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I feel like I have made a lot of wrong decisions that contributed to this, and I… need help. I’ve always wanted to have a spiritual director to guide me. But there are things that are preventing me.
I can be very anxious at times, and when speaking with people, especially with those with whom I feel are with “authority” (i.e. bosses, priests, people smarter than me, people I admire, people who are very holy, etc.) I tend to become flustered and not say what I am supposed to say. Sometimes my mind even goes blank, or I find my thoughts are cut off and/or not making any sense any more. (I’m much better at writing my thoughts than saying them, especially if impromptu).
Throw in pride into the mix because of sins comitted and shame for past actions, fear of being vulnerable, and I practically run away from the direction of spiritual direction.
Right now it is clear though that I should be doing just that. Not sure if I will be having the same conviction tomorrow. Actually, it is possible I will be backing out at the thought later today.
Will be truly grateful for your prayers so I would have the will and courage to go through with it.
