H
holyrood
Guest
I post here frequently (unfortunately) about my alcoholic family, hoping to find prayer and the best way to deal with it.
Unfortunately, here I am again. I have just provided my young adult nephew with a cross-country trip that he asked to be taken on to my daughter’s graduation. He knew in advance he would be expected to help with expenses. He was quite rude to me a couple of times on the trip–pushing to be allowed to sleep in a bed with the young women who came with us, challenging me on it, hinting that he was gay and there was something wrong with me for letting him sleep in the other room with my sons rather than sleep with the girls; telling me he would continue sitting in the front seat when I said it was time to change at a rest stop (my car, btw, and I’d paid all expenses up to that point).
He is now informing me he will need to see all receipts for the whole trip before he pays me anything. (I’d just given him, at his request, the to-the-penny list of what I paid at each gas station along the way, as I’d entered it into my phone.) At least one of those receipts was left at the pump. I did not keep receipts for all the groceries I bought over 6 days. I suspect from his attitude so far that he’s going to quibble over whether the entire $50 worth of gas purchased just before I left home went directly to the trip as opposed to making, say, a single trip to a store on that tank.
On top of this, given my family dynamics, it’s a pretty sure thing that my entire family (parents, sisters, brothers) will back him up on this. I, myself, am horrified. He’s playing power games and making sure I know who’s in control here. I can’t imagine, at the age of 20, accepting a trip with my 40 something aunt or uncle, knowing up front I’d be sharing costs, and then quibbling over every penny and demanding receipts. I can’t imagine speaking to them as he has spoken to me twice on this trip.
I think he will not be coming back to my home this summer–which is going to make my son and daughter angry. A friend has suggested putting this back in his lap, handing him the receipts, reminding him I spent a couple hundred in groceries, and asking him, “What do you think this trip was worth?” and then letting him know there will be no more trips.
This is likely the route I’ll go.
But I would very much like prayers to whoever sees this overnight, for wisdom and grace in dealing with this. I know that I’m likely going to be seen once again as the bad guy by my whole family, on top of it. BTW, I’m a single mother of a very large family. This was an expensive trip, I had to leave one of my kids home to make room for him when he asked to go, and he knew upfront he’d have to pitch in.
Thank you for your prayers.
Unfortunately, here I am again. I have just provided my young adult nephew with a cross-country trip that he asked to be taken on to my daughter’s graduation. He knew in advance he would be expected to help with expenses. He was quite rude to me a couple of times on the trip–pushing to be allowed to sleep in a bed with the young women who came with us, challenging me on it, hinting that he was gay and there was something wrong with me for letting him sleep in the other room with my sons rather than sleep with the girls; telling me he would continue sitting in the front seat when I said it was time to change at a rest stop (my car, btw, and I’d paid all expenses up to that point).
He is now informing me he will need to see all receipts for the whole trip before he pays me anything. (I’d just given him, at his request, the to-the-penny list of what I paid at each gas station along the way, as I’d entered it into my phone.) At least one of those receipts was left at the pump. I did not keep receipts for all the groceries I bought over 6 days. I suspect from his attitude so far that he’s going to quibble over whether the entire $50 worth of gas purchased just before I left home went directly to the trip as opposed to making, say, a single trip to a store on that tank.
On top of this, given my family dynamics, it’s a pretty sure thing that my entire family (parents, sisters, brothers) will back him up on this. I, myself, am horrified. He’s playing power games and making sure I know who’s in control here. I can’t imagine, at the age of 20, accepting a trip with my 40 something aunt or uncle, knowing up front I’d be sharing costs, and then quibbling over every penny and demanding receipts. I can’t imagine speaking to them as he has spoken to me twice on this trip.
I think he will not be coming back to my home this summer–which is going to make my son and daughter angry. A friend has suggested putting this back in his lap, handing him the receipts, reminding him I spent a couple hundred in groceries, and asking him, “What do you think this trip was worth?” and then letting him know there will be no more trips.
This is likely the route I’ll go.
But I would very much like prayers to whoever sees this overnight, for wisdom and grace in dealing with this. I know that I’m likely going to be seen once again as the bad guy by my whole family, on top of it. BTW, I’m a single mother of a very large family. This was an expensive trip, I had to leave one of my kids home to make room for him when he asked to go, and he knew upfront he’d have to pitch in.
Thank you for your prayers.