Prayers for my MOM & DAD

[PhyllisA]

A person by the name of Terese inspired this prayer request within me.

My Mom lives with a very verbally biligerant, irrate, combative abusive husband everyday. I think she is obligated since they’ve been married 57 years and she’s hardly worked outside the home for her married life due to raising 8 children.

She doesn’t deserve this, she was on her death bed a few years after i was born and said to God, “I can’t die, my hubby has 8 children to raise.”

She’s a Saint in my eyes. to selflessly give her life back to us to help raise us.

I’ve tried telling her ways of dealing with this, but any attempt seems effortless.

Would appreciate your prayers and support, for i’ve been asked by a Catholic Counselor whom is also a Sister, “Why do you feel you have to handle this or your take care of your dad during his illnesses?” He’s 80 years old and has been in & out of the hospital for the last 10-15 years. People say that “God isn’t finished with him yet!”

I don’t know if that’s right, that it’s not my responsibility to help in these matters or if it’d be an act of Mercy if i did?

By the way, the counselor hasn’t called back after my first intake, i have a feeling they don’t want to get involved with my cases also, i have many many issues…

Please, Your Prayers are welcome~

Patron Saint of abusive relationships please pray for my mom and dad~
:byzsoc: :harp:

Phyllis @};-

 

[Harmony1988]

I think one has to take care of their parents, in whatever ways they can so do, especially if they are elderly. I will pray that your parents can find a solution and that grace is bestowed upon your family in these days.

 

[Harmony1988]

St. Jude springs to mind, he is the patron saint of hopeless cases and those in need. Good and loving friend of Jesus he was, we pray for his intercession.

“Saint Jude, we have problems in our relationship. Beg Almighty God to give us the light to see ourselves and each other as we really are. Help us to grow daily in self-knowledge and mutual love, while at the same time developing our potential to love and be loved. Help us, Saint Jude, to see and root out every manifestation of selfishness, vanity, and childish self-seeking – those hidden enemies of love and maturity. Show us that by learning to love and being filled with love, we may complement and nurture each other as we share our lives together.”

Amen

Here is a novena site to him:

stjudenovena.org/prayingthenovena.html

 

[Trishie]

Jesus, please help Phyllis to cope with the sorrow of seeing her mother suffer daily at the mercy of an irrasible husband. Please help her mother to live with this challenge without allowing it to drag her down or to ruin her peace. Please forgive and heal her husband in any way possible despite his age and ill-health.

Jesus, Phyllis can’t help as much as she would like to as the dynamic between her parents is unlikely to change. Please give her peace in giving her mother cheerful comfort in little ways, and in helping her with her Dad in reasonable ways, yet without taking all the emotion and all the problem on herself. Please help her to heal in those issues that trouble her and that restrict her happiness and growth as a person.

Jesus, have mercy

 

[Simon_X]

Praying for your family…

 

[rinnie]

I hate to say this, but could you possibly take Dad to a Dr, and possibly get him on medication to help him with his anger. I know that is only masking the problem, but at this stage of the game its really too late to even get him help. Maybe not impossible but probable. Alot of times it is better to try to ask God sometimes to help you accept what you must, help when you can, and just deal with what you can deal with. And that is really worry about your self also. You cant change Mom or Dad, but you can change how you react to this situation. Chances are things probally wont change now, but its how you react to them that can. Be there for Mom, try to forgive Dad, and try to find a way to make a positive out of every negative situation you can. In my family we LAUGH. I swear when we cant take anymore we just laugh, it may sound insane, but it really does help. We try to replace anger, and sadness with laughter. Because if you can’t find a way to forgive Dad some how some way, it will eat you up the rest of your life, and I dont want that for you. And i will pray for both of them.

 

[PhyllisA]

I think one has to take care of their parents, in whatever ways they can so do, especially if they are elderly. I will pray that your parents can find a solution and that grace is bestowed upon your family in these days.

Yes, i know they need care from their younger children, my dad even inspired me to become a Extra Ordinary Eucharistic Minister to attend to him when he’s not able to go to Mass himself, and it’s only made me a better person and most importantly a better Catholic.

So, there’s been some blessings in disguise!

:getholy: :byzsoc:

I am surprised how well i deal with it, years ago i gave Dad the impression i wouldn’t accept his behavior. He’s crossed the lines a few times here lately, but i still think he knows that i only want love and peace in the family.

I sure hope and pray they find that also!

THX for your prayers and concern. :angel1:

Phyllis @};-

 

[PhyllisA]

St. Jude springs to mind, he is the patron saint of hopeless cases and those in need. Good and loving friend of Jesus he was, we pray for his intercession.

Amen

Here is a novena site to him:

stjudenovena.org/prayingthenovena.html

Thank You so much and your name and also the Novena to St. Jude states the request to God so perfectly…

Harmony! :getholy: :harp: :grouphug:

THX AGAIN & GOD BLESS

Phyllis @};-

 

[Harmony1988]

You are most welcome Phyllis, you will be in my prayers tonight.

 

[PhyllisA]

Jesus, please help Phyllis to cope with the sorrow of seeing her mother suffer daily at the mercy of an irrasible husband. Please help her mother to live with this challenge without allowing it to drag her down or to ruin her peace. Please forgive and heal her husband in any way possible despite his age and ill-health.

Jesus, Phyllis can’t help as much as she would like to as the dynamic between her parents is unlikely to change. Please give her peace in giving her mother cheerful comfort in little ways, and in helping her with her Dad in reasonable ways, yet without taking all the emotion and all the problem on herself. Please help her to heal in those issues that trouble her and that restrict her happiness and growth as a person.

Jesus, have mercy

THX Trishie,

I think this may be one of the answers in itself ~ Is knowing that i have done everything that i know in my own knpwledge, desire and power to help in all situations that i need to know the peace in knowing i have done as much as i can in the situation.

You have reminded me of the Deacon of our church. My mom will be in the hospital for knee surgery in a few weeks and they’re expecting Dad to take care of himself. Mom said that they could have a home health aid come out everyday, but i haven’t heard or seen that happen {as far as knowing if she’s requested one}

Maybe Deacon Joe can help in this matter.

THX and God Bless. :angel1:

:byzsoc:
Phyllis @};-

 

[PhyllisA]

You are most welcome Phyllis, you will be in my prayers tonight.

THX such a swift response!

I feel like i am talking with you right now face to face.

BTW, God has been working through my prayer times,
One day i was sayint the Chaplet of Divine Mercy @ the Three O’Clock Holy Hour and mom called to come over~ i went over and went upstairs and dad was down on the floor, he had fallen.

Yesterday, i was saying the chaplet @ Adoration for a friend who just got married and her mom walked in the door to thank me for cleaning the church and i said, “Ohhh i was just praying for Karen!”

It’s amazing how God works so mysteriously …

I am Blessed~ Therefore ~ Be BLESSED

Phyllis @};-

 

[PhyllisA]

Praying for your family…

:byzsoc:

Thank you Simon, i know prayer is the answer. It’s just hard knowing how God will answer our prayers.

Praying for discerness and awareness.

Phyllis

 

[Harmony1988]

THX such a swift response!

I feel like i am talking with you right now face to face.

BTW, God has been working through my prayer times,
One day i was sayint the Chaplet of Divine Mercy @ the Three O’Clock Holy Hour and mom called to come over~ i went over and went upstairs and dad was down on the floor, he had fallen.

Yesterday, i was saying the chaplet @ Adoration for a friend who just got married and her mom walked in the door to thank me for cleaning the church and i said, “Ohhh i was just praying for Karen!”

It’s amazing how God works so mysteriously …

I am Blessed~ Therefore ~ Be BLESSED

Phyllis @};-

Haha really? I’ve been frequenting forums for many, many years, so I just hop from thread to thread. God certainly does work in mysterious ways, and the fact that these miracles appear is a sure sign He is listening.

God Bless and G’night

 

[PhyllisA]

I hate to say this, but could you possibly take Dad to a Dr, and possibly get him on medication to help him with his anger. I know that is only masking the problem, but at this stage of the game its really too late to even get him help. Maybe not impossible but probable. Alot of times it is better to try to ask God sometimes to help you accept what you must, help when you can, and just deal with what you can deal with. And that is really worry about your self also. You cant change Mom or Dad, but you can change how you react to this situation. Chances are things probally wont change now, but its how you react to them that can. Be there for Mom, try to forgive Dad, and try to find a way to make a positive out of every negative situation you can. In my family we LAUGH. I swear when we cant take anymore we just laugh, it may sound insane, but it really does help. We try to replace anger, and sadness with laughter. Because if you can’t find a way to forgive Dad some how some way, it will eat you up the rest of your life, and I dont want that for you. And i will pray for both of them.

Rinnie,

I appreciate your concern, but one time i tried to say something to my dad on my mom’s birthday. He had said something to make her cry and she went upstairs for the rest of the afternoon. I took lunch to her.

When i said something to dad, he just glared at me and said, “You best stay out of this.” ~ so, i haven’t tried too hard to take care of it on his side of an approach.

I’d be too scared to say anything.

My mom said that in the military, if you have a case of mental illness, they mark your file with red and you can’t move up {or something to that effect ?!?!}

Please don’t get me wrong, i love the military for it serves our country and it has good self discipline and work ethicsI
~
J.J. DID TIE BUCKLE ~

But, if you only knew how much peace i’ve tried to bring between them, ~ I’d probably win the Puletzer Prize or become the next living Saint. :getholy: My dad, yea he likes to laugh, & in our discussions @ the dinner table, he may laugh a little, but hardly really joins in on the conversations which i would be glad for him too, but it seem he only wants to reall laugh on his terms. Life isn’t like that.

I’ve been in the situation long enough that i know
In his case…
To get him to admitt he has a psychological problem would be and pardon me for saying IMHO, like a death warrant.

THX for your concern,
Phyllis :byzsoc: :getholy: :harp:

 

[PhyllisA]

Haha really? I’ve been frequenting forums for many, many years, so I just hop from thread to thread. God certainly does work in mysterious ways, and the fact that these miracles appear is a sure sign He is listening.

God Bless and G’night

AUSTRALIA !!!

Please let me tell you a little bit about my family history,

see i love my dad dearly, it’s just hard to deal with his behavior…

my grandfather started an airline many years ago, which is no longer in our family hands, and i got this article telling about these pilots who went into a crash landing~ they landed in an Australian farming field and there was a billboard that said ~ “TRUST IN THE LORD”

So, THX for giving me something to “Laugh” about.

Phyllis :byzsoc: :bounce: :extrahappy:

 

[Gail_OCDS]

---

***+JMJTJ+

---

Dear Phyllis,

It is very diffucult to discern responsibility re: an abusive parent!

---

*** I was advised by my confessor,to do what I was comfortable and strong enough to do, and then be sure additonal services are in place (so they are not left in need).***

---

All you can do is pray and be sure they receive outside services as best they will allow.
Prayer helps to remain grounded when the attacks of guilt fly at you; either from them or personally.

---

The Lord never gives us any more than we can handle with His grace.
***Pray for YOUR heart to be immersed in HIS MERCIFUL LOVE; it makes all the difference ***

Your intentions will be in my prayers.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen

---

 

[Galilea]

“Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Wounds of our Lord Jesus Christ to heal those of our souls”
“My Jesus, pardon and mercy, by the merits of Thy Holy Wounds”

 

[PhyllisA]

---

***+JMJTJ+

---

Dear Phyllis,

It is very diffucult to discern responsibility re: an abusive parent!

---

*** I was advised by my confessor,to do what I was comfortable and strong enough to do, and then be sure additonal services are in place (so they are not left in need).***

---

All you can do is pray and be sure they receive outside services as best they will allow.
Prayer helps to remain grounded when the attacks of guilt fly at you; either from them or personally.

---

The Lord never gives us any more than we can handle with His grace.
***Pray for YOUR heart to be immersed in HIS MERCIFUL LOVE; it makes all the difference ***

Your intentions will be in my prayers.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen

---

THX so much for mentioning to do only what we feel comfortable doing and ot have the appropriate resources available if action is taken. I really don’t want to make a big deal about this, i just want him to feel better and for them to get along better. But, i do know that sometimes it gets worse before it gets better and sometimes it’s not as easy to take action as it seems.

I also like the suggestion to pray when attacks of guilt fly~

I have many attacks of guilt when it comes to addressing issues in my family. Back in 1986, I tried to confront family members about incest issues and it just turned on me and now i am considered the “trouble maker” whenever i bring up issues.

So, i’ve been living with this issue and giving suggestions to my mom for some time now. But it’s definitely looking like it’s getting worse before it gets better.

I think i had mentioned that my mom will be in the hospital and they’re expecting my dad to “fend for himself.” I know that’s not possible ~ but i just started a temporary job recently and am expected to work until around September 19th. The only thing i can do is stop by to see he’s heated up some dinners my mom has left for him and see that he’s taken a shower etc… that’s coming fewer and further between~ but that’s understandable, because with elderly, they’re not as active and they don’ t need to shower as often.

SRY about my “Too Much Information” LOL!
There’s a lot to cover and deal with here.

I will take the prayers to :byzsoc:

Phyllis @};-

 

[PhyllisA]

“Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Wounds of our Lord Jesus Christ to heal those of our souls”
“My Jesus, pardon and mercy, by the merits of Thy Holy Wounds”

Eternal Father

I stand here today, asking for You to put your hand in this situation, it is definitely more than i can bear. I hope and pray my dad’s heart is healed not just i the physical sense,but also in the spiritual as well. " St. Therese, please bring down your love upon my family, especially my mom and dad, for “peace begins in the home.”

“Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Wounds of our Lord Jesus Christ to heal those of our souls.”
“My Jesus, pardon and mercy, by the merits of Thy Holy Wounds.”

In Jesus’ Name i Pray, AMEN

Phyllis @};-:byzsoc: :harp: :irish3:

 

[rinnie]

PhyllisA I am so sorry for your pain i didnt realize the extent of what you were goimg thru, expecially Mental illness. One thing that may help, it wont change matters but try to remember its not always his fault either. Its just a shame they cant help him with medication, because it may make a world of difference. But I understand you would not dare mention it to him. Do you take him to the family Dr, Maybe if you do, without him knowing talk to the Dr and let him know. Alot of times he could give him something to calm him down and he really wont even realize it.

Remember this is not your fault either mental ilness is horrible, its alot of guilt for everyone im sure.

The one thing to do and trust me this works, when you get depressed, angry or feel guilt remember its just the devil finding your weakness and feeding on it. My Dad told me this and i swear it works, when you feel you are ready to go over the edge say, IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST SATAN GET AWAY FROM ME. My Dad said he will run because he is scared the death of God. Then say Jesus possess me over and over, You will feel a calm cool feeling. It really helps, My Dad said the devils weapon is fear, he knows our fears and uses them to hurt us.

He said when we get real stressed you know the devil is near, I hope this works for you. When I get crazy over anything in my life, money, kids, up comming events and see its really bothering me i know the devil is working overtime. SO when i ask Jesus to make him leave, my problems dont go away, but i feel instant relief of dealing with them, and they dont seem 1/10 as bad as they were a minute ago,

When i keep saying Jesus possess me over and over it makes me strong again. Then i think hey game on. Now I got Jesus to help me, he will take over now. And when you truely believe, its like, ( in my mind, okay I dont have to worry what to do or not to do, its vacation time in my mind, Jesus will take over the shift for the time being,) And you know you cant escape reality (unfortunately) but you cant fix the situation either. You can only deal with it, then when you really do have to deal with it, he is working thru you, and showing you the best way to do it.

So whenever the bad times come, and you know they will remember its the devil trying to get you away from God. My Mom always said he is always close to the good people because he doesnt need to be near the bad, hes already got them. he wants Gods people. As crazy as that sounds it does make sense. Just know hes after you because you are good, and he wants you away from God. So when you call Jesus its like putting out the flame. You will see also when you call on Jesus your anger is like that flame, it goes right out.

So please know what you feel, especially the guilt is so normal. You Feel guilty because you hate the way he treats your Mom and you hate him for that. and you hate yourself for feeling that, and You Love him so much at the same time. How could you not, he is your Dad.

Maybe when you are around him keep saying Jesus please enter him, please enter him. Jesus can humble anyone. Good Luck, you are in my prayers. Hope this works for you , its done wonders for me.