Prayers for Wisdom & Discernment

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efj803

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In 2004, my husband got a job 5,000 miles away from our families. I agreed to the move and we have been living here together since 2005. (We lived apart for over a year while I was finishing my M.S. program on the East Coast). Our move here was never intended to be permanent but the economy (house underwater) has kept us here longer than intended. We originally planned a 2-5 year stay and it’s now been 8 years.

My Dad was diagnosed with Cancer in November (Waldenstrom’s Syndrome - rare but slower-growing cancer). I was able to go visit him at Christmas before he started chemotherapy. He seems to be doing okay but I’m really struggling with whether or not we should move back this summer to be closer to our families.

DH and I are fairly involved in our church here (I’m a cantor and he’s a lector) and we both have jobs although DH is very discouraged with his (long story). There is a possibility I could work remotely with the same company I work for now but I have hesitated to ask my boss because I’m not 100% sure she would allow it. Also, if we left, it’s pretty certain it would be a while before my DH could find another job (he works in the newspaper industry in sports so jobs are sparse).

Also, we have a house here that is just starting to come out from underwater. If we sold it, we might be able to break even but that’s about it. We’ve talked about renting it and even tried to rent it out last summer but couldn’t find anyone before busy season kicked in for DH and we couldn’t leave. And renting it means having to pay someone to manage it since we’d be too far away to handle it ourselves.

Lastly, DH and I really want to start our family. We’ve been waiting to have kids until we were living closer to family. I’m now 35 and concerned that time is running out. In terms of having kids, we talked about it and felt that, if we want kids within a year, we should probably stay here where we know we have steady jobs and healthcare but, my heart aches when I think about being so far from my family with a child and what if My Dad’s situation worsens. I feel that having a child would also give my Dad something to look forward to - He seemed excited about the idea of a 2nd grandchild (my older brother has a daughter) when I mentioned it at Christmas.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. Please pray for me and DH for wisdom and discernment about if/how/when to move and figure this all out. Thanks!
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
efj803 said:
In 2004, my husband got a job 5,000 miles away from our families. I agreed to the move and we have been living here together since 2005. (We lived apart for over a year while I was finishing my M.S. program on the East Coast). Our move here was never intended to be permanent but the economy (house underwater) has kept us here longer than intended. We originally planned a 2-5 year stay and it’s now been 8 years.

My Dad was diagnosed with Cancer in November (Waldenstrom’s Syndrome - rare but slower-growing cancer). I was able to go visit him at Christmas before he started chemotherapy. He seems to be doing okay but I’m really struggling with whether or not we should move back this summer to be closer to our families.

DH and I are fairly involved in our church here (I’m a cantor and he’s a lector) and we both have jobs although DH is very discouraged with his (long story). There is a possibility I could work remotely with the same company I work for now but I have hesitated to ask my boss because I’m not 100% sure she would allow it. Also, if we left, it’s pretty certain it would be a while before my DH could find another job (he works in the newspaper industry in sports so jobs are sparse).

Also, we have a house here that is just starting to come out from underwater. If we sold it, we might be able to break even but that’s about it. We’ve talked about renting it and even tried to rent it out last summer but couldn’t find anyone before busy season kicked in for DH and we couldn’t leave. And renting it means having to pay someone to manage it since we’d be too far away to handle it ourselves.

Lastly, DH and I really want to start our family. We’ve been waiting to have kids until we were living closer to family. I’m now 35 and concerned that time is running out. In terms of having kids, we talked about it and felt that, if we want kids within a year, we should probably stay here where we know we have steady jobs and healthcare but, my heart aches when I think about being so far from my family with a child and what if My Dad’s situation worsens. I feel that having a child would also give my Dad something to look forward to - He seemed excited about the idea of a 2nd grandchild (my older brother has a daughter) when I mentioned it at Christmas.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. Please pray for me and DH for wisdom and discernment about if/how/when to move and figure this all out. Thanks!
Click to expand...
I don’t mean to sound impertinent, but it almost sounds like you and DH have had your life together “on-hold” for the last 8 years, waiting to live until you moved back, until the house was “out from under water”, until living again close to relatives. Your dad will be happy if he knows you are happy living your life together. Natural family planning does not mean holding off on children, it is about being responsible “for a season”, and accepting children as God then gives them to you in the midst of your love.
Have I misspoken?
John Martin
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
John_Martin said:
I don’t mean to sound impertinent, but it almost sounds like you and DH have had your life together “on-hold” for the last 8 years, waiting to live until you moved back, until the house was “out from under water”, until living again close to relatives. Your dad will be happy if he knows you are happy living your life together. Natural family planning does not mean holding off on children, it is about being responsible “for a season”, and accepting children as God then gives them to you in the midst of your love.
Have I misspoken?
John Martin
Click to expand...
Hi John,
In some respects, you are correct. It is only in the last few months that I have realized that putting off children for this long may have been misguided. There are additional family pressures/concerns but I will not elaborate here as I know I need to trust God that He will provide. I’m just trying to figure out at this point where God wants to use us best - here or there.
 
I pray that things come good for you soon, keep your trust in God

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
John,
Perhaps you didn’ t intend to come across this way but I can’t help but feel judged by your words. Actually my parents wouldn’t be very happy. My mom was very upset when we moved. Living on an island in Hawaii may sound romantic but it makes visiting the East Coast very difficult because weekend visits are not possible (12 hr flight each way) and vacation is extremely difficult to get for my husband. Nobody was allowed time off last summer! That said, I am willing to deal with my parents being upset if we had children here. I just really need prayers for figuring out where God wants us and can best use us. I know my Dad’s chemo has been rough on both of them.
 
efj803 said:
John,
Perhaps you didn’ t intend to come across this way but I can’t help but feel judged by your words. Actually my parents wouldn’t be very happy. My mom was very upset when we moved. Living on an island in Hawaii may sound romantic but it makes visiting the East Coast very difficult because weekend visits are not possible (12 hr flight each way) and vacation is extremely difficult to get for my husband. Nobody was allowed time off last summer! That said, I am willing to deal with my parents being upset if we had children here. I just really need prayers for figuring out where God wants us and can best use us. I know my Dad’s chemo has been rough on both of them.
Click to expand...
Judgement, no; please feel instead as you are trying to look clearly at your life (which is what discernment is) that if my words rang true in any part of them, then they may help with clearer vision, discernment, of what you know is true or good. The way you phrased it gave me the image of a life waiting, on-hold, so I wrote that. If that was mistaken, then it was mistaken, and my response can be ignored as you discern.

You have my prayer (it is not a prayer for “fixing what I might judge broken”, it is a prayer instead that you know yourself and your direction, in other words, that discernment is successful for you and DH).

John Martin
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen
 
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