Prayers please - gay neighbors

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efj803

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Hello everyone,

My husband and I recently bought a new home and, while we are excited about our new place, we are also concerned about how to best interact/live our faith with the gay neighbors a few doors down. They are openly gay men and living together (not sure if they are “married” or not). They also live /take care of both of their mothers. One of the men was the first person to welcome us to the neighborhood and invited us over for cake last night. My husband and I discussed it and decided to accept the invitation in a show of friendship. I have been praying for the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom and courage but admit that I probably came across as condoning their lifestyle by not openly speaking out against it. Part of me wants to build rapport with them and then gently but firmly challenge them. One of the men is very outgoing and seems very eager to pursue a friendship with us - already saying that we should arrange a party with some of the other neighbors. I wear a crucifix all the time and have a feeling faith will come up if/when I invite one of them to my house to bake (we have a common enjoyment of baking) and they see my crucifix and prayer table. I realize I may have to restrict my interactions with them but am struggling with how to proceed. I want to be genuine in showing Christian love but also genuine in my faith.

Anyway, please pray for me and my husband that we can show brotherly love and also stand up for the truth of the Catholic Church. Please also pray for our gay neighbors.

Thank you!
 
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all. I would avoid explicitly condoning their sinful lifestyle by not referring to them as a “couple” and not including them in “couple’s nights” as if their relationship was the same as a heterosexual one. I’d also decline to accept any invitation to celebrate any “weddings” or “anniversaries” they might have in the future.

At the same time, we all are sinners. We are not to ostracize those in sin, unless their sin becomes a near occasion for us to sin as well. So there is nothing wrong with being their friends and even with visiting their home or baking with them.

I would be upfront about my faith, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell them that they are sinning. They know that already, it’s a part of the natural moral law, which is written on the heart of every man. I’d be as willing to discuss my faith as they are to discuss their homosexuality. They don’t feel the need to disguise their beliefs and neither should you, but you need not bludgeon them over the head self-righteously - that will be of little effect anyhow.

Perhaps you can befriend them and in so doing lead one or both of them to the Catholic Faith and out of sin. Saving souls always comes first.

Pax Christi
 
PietroPaolo said:
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all. I would avoid explicitly condoning their sinful lifestyle by not referring to them as a “couple” and not including them in “couple’s nights” as if their relationship was the same as a heterosexual one. I’d also decline to accept any invitation to celebrate any “weddings” or “anniversaries” they might have in the future.

At the same time, we all are sinners. We are not to ostracize those in sin, unless their sin becomes a near occasion for us to sin as well. So there is nothing wrong with being their friends and even with visiting their home or baking with them.

I would be upfront about my faith, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell them that they are sinning. They know that already, it’s a part of the natural moral law, which is written on the heart of every man. I’d be as willing to discuss my faith as they are to discuss their homosexuality. They don’t feel the need to disguise their beliefs and neither should you, but you need not bludgeon them over the head self-righteously - that will be of little effect anyhow.

Perhaps you can befriend them and in so doing lead one or both of them to the Catholic Faith and out of sin. Saving souls always comes first.

Pax Christi
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So well said, it’s hard to add anything, but I will say this:
Many gays don’t really know what the church teaches about SSA. They only have “heard” that the Church hates gay people.
You may not really have an opportunity to speak to them about your faith in great detail for some time. Be kind. Be cordial. Bake together if you like. When they see that people of faith are not damning them, you can at that point, being a dialog. They may never convert, but that’s ultimately the job of the Holy Spirit. Be a vessel for enlightening.
God bless you for your holy intentions.
Peace.
 
PietroPaolo said:
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all. I would avoid explicitly condoning their sinful lifestyle by not referring to them as a “couple” and not including them in “couple’s nights” as if their relationship was the same as a heterosexual one. I’d also decline to accept any invitation to celebrate any “weddings” or “anniversaries” they might have in the future.

At the same time, we all are sinners. We are not to ostracize those in sin, unless their sin becomes a near occasion for us to sin as well. So there is nothing wrong with being their friends and even with visiting their home or baking with them.

I would be upfront about my faith, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell them that they are sinning. They know that already, it’s a part of the natural moral law, which is written on the heart of every man. I’d be as willing to discuss my faith as they are to discuss their homosexuality. They don’t feel the need to disguise their beliefs and neither should you, but you need not bludgeon them over the head self-righteously - that will be of little effect anyhow.

Perhaps you can befriend them and in so doing lead one or both of them to the Catholic Faith and out of sin. Saving souls always comes first.

Pax Christi
Click to expand...
Pray for them.
 
Our Father…
Hail Mary…
and a Glory be…
for you and your neighbors. :gopray:
 
efj803 said:
Hello everyone,

My husband and I recently bought a new home and, while we are excited about our new place, we are also concerned about how to best interact/live our faith with the gay neighbors a few doors down. They are openly gay men and living together (not sure if they are “married” or not). They also live /take care of both of their mothers. One of the men was the first person to welcome us to the neighborhood and invited us over for cake last night. My husband and I discussed it and decided to accept the invitation in a show of friendship. I have been praying for the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom and courage but admit that I probably came across as condoning their lifestyle by not openly speaking out against it. Part of me wants to build rapport with them and then gently but firmly challenge them. One of the men is very outgoing and seems very eager to pursue a friendship with us - already saying that we should arrange a party with some of the other neighbors. I wear a crucifix all the time and have a feeling faith will come up if/when I invite one of them to my house to bake (we have a common enjoyment of baking) and they see my crucifix and prayer table. I realize I may have to restrict my interactions with them but am struggling with how to proceed. I want to be genuine in showing Christian love but also genuine in my faith.

Anyway, please pray for me and my husband that we can show brotherly love and also stand up for the truth of the Catholic Church. Please also pray for our gay neighbors.

Thank you!
Click to expand...
I need to interject here. We are all sinners. Each one of us sins in a different way therefore you have no right to interfere in their lives. Jesus taught us to love. These two men are living their lives with that mindset. You wrote above that they were the first ones to welcome you to the neighborhood. They accepted you as a friend. Don’t ruin that. Christ is love…Christ doesn’t condemn or deny anyone, remember that. God Bless!
 
Sa1ntP4uL said:
I need to interject here. We are all sinners. Each one of us sins in a different way therefore you have no right to interfere in their lives. Jesus taught us to love. These two men are living their lives with that mindset. You wrote above that they were the first ones to welcome you to the neighborhood. They accepted you as a friend. Don’t ruin that. Christ is love…Christ doesn’t condemn or deny anyone, remember that. God Bless!
Click to expand...
Are you talking about a Spanish friend of yours names Jesus or about Jesus Christ. You know the Jesus Christ who said things like:

“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels”

and

“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.”
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Our Father Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Remember oh most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence I fly unto thee oh Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray and do thou oh Prince of the Heavenly Host by the power of God cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell. Lead all souls into Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy. Amen.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Amen.
 
Sa1ntP4uL said:
I need to interject here. We are all sinners. Each one of us sins in a different way therefore you have no right to interfere in their lives. Jesus taught us to love. These two men are living their lives with that mindset. You wrote above that they were the first ones to welcome you to the neighborhood. They accepted you as a friend. Don’t ruin that. Christ is love…Christ doesn’t condemn or deny anyone, remember that. God Bless!
Click to expand...
Totally agree. I have never experiened such judgement and condemnaiton of gay people until I came to this forum. It makes me very glad I was lucky enough to be born straight and thus am “allowed” to be happily married. Who knew that such attutudes still existed? Sad and most unChrist like.
 
PietroPaolo said:
Are you talking about a Spanish friend of yours names Jesus or about Jesus Christ. You know the Jesus Christ who said things like:

“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels”

and

“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.”
Click to expand...
Our Father, Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
I’ve heard it said that we should hate the sin and love the sinner. Their lifestyle is wrong to us believers, but look at it this way: Good could come out of this if, as you say, you and your husband deal with them in an appropriate manner. Now what is “appropriate” in this situation? As others have already commented, be cordial but not fully accepting of their chosen lifestyle. And pray! Who knows, the Holy Spirit could have brought you to them.
 
Galbin said:
Totally agree. I have never experiened such judgement and condemnaiton of gay people until I came to this forum. It makes me very glad I was lucky enough to be born straight and thus am “allowed” to be happily married. Who knew that such attutudes still existed? Sad and most unChrist like.
Click to expand...
You need to make a distinction between condemnation of individuals (e.g.: “God hates you, you’re unlovable, you’ll go to Hell”, etc.) and condemnation of sinful behavior. I’ve never seen the former on here, probably because those kinds of posts flagrantly violate CAF policy and are likely swiftly removed by the mods, along with bans or at least suspensions.

However pointing out that what someone is doing is contrary to God’s will is just plain looking out for one’s brother… that’s known as fraternal correction and is something we should all be doing.
 
:gopray: I’m praying that God gives you wisdom and guides you in your encounters with your neighbors.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
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