Prayers please -- i just threw my husband out

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RachelKH

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if you know me from my posts, you know this is more of the same – he was staring at our 16yodd’s butt every time she walked away and no she was not dressed sleazy or too tight. he sees nothing wrong w/ it.
 
Please, call your priest so he can help counsel you through this!!

Prayers
 
I just read in another post of yours that you have 6 children.
While I do not condone the way he has been staring at other women or starting at his OWN daughters butt…
I think you need to go to marriage counseling for your childrens sake. That’s a lot of kids to be without a father. Because even though right now you are angry and upset about all of this. If you do decide to get divorced or something, he will have rights to these children. You need to go to counseling, and get the feelings he has displayed “recorded”, because if he really does have a problem, he probably shouldnt be left alone with your children.

Please try not to fight infront of your children. I know it is hard, but it is very stressful for children to watch this.

I pray that your family will become reunited again, and that your husband will give you love and support like he used to.
 
kage_ar said:
I mean you - as a human being - and your daughter - you both need to have a priest help you get through this.
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Prayers for you Rachel, and don’t overlook getting some help for yourself and your girls. Kage_ar is right.
 
RachelKH said:
if you know me from my posts, you know this is more of the same – he was staring at our 16yodd’s butt every time she walked away and no she was not dressed sleazy or too tight. he sees nothing wrong w/ it.
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Good for you! He needs help and your daughter needs your protection. My husband didn’t find out, until 40 years later, that his very close friend in high school was molested by her father, for her entire life. It was a terrible secret that whole family hid from the outside. She married at 17 to escape the situation and has been married and divorced three times since. She has been hospitalized twice for attempted suicide. It has had a devastating effect on her self desteem and the way she relates to men. You should get counseling for your daughter, but hopefully, it hasn’t gone that far and at her young age she will be able to recover and have a normal, safe life. Good luck and don’t let him back into the house until he can prove that he has been sucessfully treated.
 
*Rachel …I’m so sorry. Yes, I remember your other posts. My prayers are with you and your family. *
 
I am so sorry you are going through this. Thank God you had the strength to leave him. This is not something you should mess with, and I don’t think I would even trust counseling for something as serious as this. Unless you think you could be mistaken. Not sure of your history with him, but this sends up red flags all over.

God bless.
 
As everyone said… counseling.

I hope your children get some too. I know this hurts everyone. I’m sorry. Prayers go up for you. 😦
 
I’m sorry, Rachel. But I commend you for doing what you have to to protect your daughter. I know it’s not easy. Lean on Him!
 
2 nights ago he unlocked the house door, came sneaking in here ( to the home he was thrown out of for looking at our teen dd improperly), while I was upstairs getting our younger 2 dds to sleep, and went down into our basement w/o announcing himself, even though the basement lights were on which 99% of the time means someone is down there, and opened the door to the basement laundry/bathroom, where our 2 teen dds were showering, one getting out and one going into the shower, both naked, even though he could see that the lights were on in there, which again means 99% of the time someone is in there. he has no understanding that his actions were wrong. he says he 'just never thought anyone would be down there showering or down there at all (even though he says he came over to fix the shower in the upstairs that is broken so he knows we have had to not bathe or use the basement shower, and that our dds always shower at that time in the evening) and that he didn’t announce himself because he ‘didn’t want to wake anyone’ and that he thought thst our dds would be gone because there was a basketball game, but i cannot leave the 4 and 7yo dds home asleep alone to go pick up the dds from a basketball game so at least one of the teens would be home and showering no matter what and no matter what convoluted excuse he can come up with, no way was he thinking a bit about showing anyone that he thinks of others before he acts – we just want him to think of us all as real people not objects for his sexual pleasure and this is how he acts.
 
Rachel, if you suspect he is doing this intentionally then get a restraining order against him.

My wife went though life with a father like this and I cannot tell you the harm it has caused her throught her life.

Be strong for your daughters and get this ‘thing’ out of your life for good!
 
I’m getting the locks changed and thinking of getting a restraining order. He is just soooooooooooo uncaring of his effect on others, like your wife’s father must be.
 
Definately change the locks AND get a restraining order!!! Contact a womens shelter, or womens advocacy place. They can walk you through the process and will probably go with you to court. It CAN be done same-day! (My mother got one against my father who went a little nutty when they got divorced).

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!
 
I changed the locks myself. It’s not that expensive or difficult. Just study the locks before you go, perhaps even take a digital photo, so that you can get the same type of hardware.

And definitely do pursue a restraining order. I wouldn’t feel safe knowing that he can’t control himself from continuing his behavior that he has been called out on.
 
It must have been so terrible for your daughters to have their father walk in on them like that!
Rachel, you did the right thing. I will pray for you and your family.
 
RachelKH said:
2 nights ago he unlocked the house door, came sneaking in here ( to the home he was thrown out of for looking at our teen dd improperly), while I was upstairs getting our younger 2 dds to sleep, and went down into our basement w/o announcing himself, even though the basement lights were on which 99% of the time means someone is down there, and opened the door to the basement laundry/bathroom, where our 2 teen dds were showering, one getting out and one going into the shower, both naked, even though he could see that the lights were on in there, which again means 99% of the time someone is in there. he has no understanding that his actions were wrong. he says he 'just never thought anyone would be down there showering or down there at all (even though he says he came over to fix the shower in the upstairs that is broken so he knows we have had to not bathe or use the basement shower, and that our dds always shower at that time in the evening) and that he didn’t announce himself because he ‘didn’t want to wake anyone’ and that he thought thst our dds would be gone because there was a basketball game, but i cannot leave the 4 and 7yo dds home asleep alone to go pick up the dds from a basketball game so at least one of the teens would be home and showering no matter what and no matter what convoluted excuse he can come up with, no way was he thinking a bit about showing anyone that he thinks of others before he acts – we just want him to think of us all as real people not objects for his sexual pleasure and this is how he acts.
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Call a locksmith and have him change the locks. And make sure all of his stuff is out of the house, so that there is no reason for him to “have to” come back.
 
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