Prayers to heal from confrontation with neighbor

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Hi all. This may sound silly during this time with other major problems going on in the world today. Truth is, I’m so embarrassed, ashamed, weak, I just want to crawl into a rock and never come out. I got into a confrontation with my neighbor this morning. I was doing my usual walk with my dog this morning when he happened to urinate on my neighbors car tire. I was on the phone with a co-worker discussing work business when I noticed what he was doing and pulled him away. As I walked up the block I heard someone yell “Hey you on the phone!”. I looked back and they said, “on my tire, really!” I got upset, still on the phone, I walked back over to them and hung up the phone. I’m not the confrontational type, at all, but I’m no stranger to fights either. I tried to explain that I was on the phone with “work” stuff and didn’t get a chance to pull him away on time. I was nervous, anxious, I started to curse, stuttered my words, my ego had set in by this time. We exchanged words, they threatened me with “Let me go to your house and do the same!”. To where I replied, “I dare you to, see what happens!”. Yes, it got heated. I tried to explain that I did not want this type of relationship with any of my neighbors. This argument felt like it was going forever. Then, suddenly, I got this “feeling”, voice if you will, to be the bigger person and apologize. I did just that. I’m fairly new to this neighborhood and have met many others and had pleasant encounters, except for this one. At the end, we shook hands, exchanged names. This has put a major damper in my morning. I woke up feeling good, ready for the day but now I feel so defeated, weak, low confidence. I’ve tried so hard to avoid situations like this. I let myself down. I feel so stupid. I’ve never liked confrontations but I have gotten into fights when I was younger but now I’m in my mid 30s and have gained so much wisdom and even advised others on how to handle situations. But today, I failed miserably. With everything going on in the US/World, I pray for us all, every day/night, throughout the day. I’m constantly praying. I believe other neighbors may have witnessed this which adds a ton more weight to my anxiety. Sorry, this sounds very petty, I know, I just need prayers to get me back to where I was before this happened.

Strangely, I had this vivid dream about my doing being bitten and dragged by another vicious dog and kept thinking about that all morning. Maybe this was telling me about a situation with my dog was going to happen. Sorry, I just don’t know where else to ask for help from. Thank you all. Have a blessed day.
 
Ultimately everything worked out … I think you should be commended for calming down and ending it properly … I will say prayers that you recover from this and have a good day.

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world. x10

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
 
You did the right thing in apologizing.

If you know where they live, buy or bake a cake or something, and go over to their house. “I just want to apologize once again for that incident the other day. I am sorry for what happened, the dog, and my words, and I just wanted to assure you that neither will happen again. Please accept this as a peace offering.”

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless, and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible,
look kindly upon us, and increase your mercy in us,
that in difficult moments, we might not despair nor become despondent,
but with great confidence, submit ourselves to your holy will,
which is love and Mercy itself.
Amen.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

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I pray that you will not be discouraged and that the enemy will not steal your joy nor deprive you of the grace that God gives to you anew each day. I thank God that you were able to do the right thing at the end.
We all fail even when we know and want to do better. May you be immersed in God’s loving kindness and forgiveness and may you be equipped in the full armour of God (Ephesians 6: 11-18) to battle everyday situations (even this seemingly simple encounter which matters to our Father because He loves you).

May you be filled with the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit. Mother Mary please pray for this intention. Amen

PS you are in good company as even St. Paul had, as we all do, a similar struggle ( see Romans 7: 14 and following)

“14 We are well aware that the Law is spiritual: but I am a creature of flesh and blood sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand my own behaviour; I do not act as I mean to, but I do things that I hate… 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body doomed to death? 25 God – thanks be to him – through Jesus Christ our Lord. So it is that I myself with my mind obey the law of God, but in my disordered nature I obey the law of sin.”
 
We all struggle. Stay the course and keep your eyes on Jesus. 💕 O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I offer You my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day: for all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart, in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world, in reparation for my sins, for the intentions of all our associates, and in particular for the intentions of our Holy Father. Amen.
 
Thank you very much for the encouragement. It truly means a lot. I take to heart everyone’s concerns and emotions, even placing them before my own. This is why this situation bothers me so much. I trust that with time, my heavenly Father, will heal me from this confrontation. Yes, in the end, it all worked out. I’m just having a hard time letting this one go. That is why I ask for Prayers, so that I can free myself from the embarrassment, anxiety, despair, etc… Thank you all. Many Blessings to you all.
 
Brother (or Sister?),

God bless you for listening to the voice that told you to apologize.

It sounds like you experienced a (painful) reminder of your own human weakness today. I’m reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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It sounds like among your human weaknesses (and if so, I share this one) may be an angry temperament? From how you describe being “no stranger to fights”, cursing at this person, and ‘daring’ them to come to your house?

This weakness makes me even prouder of you that in the middle of it, when you heard the prompting of the Spirit (which is what I believe you heard) to humble yourself and apologize, you submitted yourself to God and did this.

You may feel defeated and anxious, but please turn to God with this and let Him fill you with His peace and reminder of His unconditional love for you (and that He doesn’t just ‘love’ you in a generic sense: He likes you, personally). Let this be a ‘glorious defeat’. 😉 And an indicator of the kinds of new ways in which God may be calling you to grow. Yes, you are weak and today reminded you of the concrete reality of that – but you know to turn to Him in your weakness. Let Him be your confidence, and allow yourself to grow in humility from this experience that, realistically, sort of underlines for you that ‘pride’ isn’t an option.
 
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Also, accept that your neighbours, if they watched the confrontation (though then again they may not have noticed at all), may indeed be less impressed with you than they were before. Try to allow yourself to accept that blow to your ego, and to offer up your reputation to God for Him to use however He sees fit. Be more concerned with what is good in God’s eyes (e.g. continued humility and repentance after recognizing your own human weakness and sin), and with the genuine well being of your neighbours now and each day in the future, than how you look in your neighbours’ eyes simply for their awareness that you sinned.

When I’m tempted to anxiety about my own reputation with others, I both try to remember that after death everyone will see me clearly anyway (so none of my weaknesses or sins in this life are ultimately hidden, and that’s okay), and I also think of Saint Dismas (the good thief) on the cross, who said:
“And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes…”
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Sometimes this helps me with humility, to remember that I may actually have a deserved bad reputation in the eyes of others, that corresponds to my genuine wrongdoings. As great as it may be if they reserve judgement or offer the mercy of God, it’s not up to me whether they do so. And I may have some temporal suffering (including the suffering I experience as part of just condemnation) to endure as part of carrying my cross… But God can turn every suffering to good.

Your initial angry reaction sounds like nothing to be proud of… but your subsequent action, of apologizing in the moment when you felt the voice prompting you to apologize, sounds to me like it would have delighted God. And it warms my heart to hear, as your sister in Christ. It sounds to me like the Spirit is very much enlivening and working in you, however much at this moment the hollowing out of your clay pot may feel painful or like a loss, and not a necessary or helpful step in the process of God forming you.

PS I think @Irishmom2’s suggestion of taking over a tasty gift and reiterating your humble apology, and expressing your wishes for a peaceful neighbourly relationship, sounds like a great idea.
 
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MNathaniel said:
… than how you look in your neighbours’ eyes simply for their awareness that you sinned.
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Sorry and just to clarify this point, I did not here mean to suggest that you ‘sinned’ (at least not mortally) by reacting angrily in the heat of the moment on this dog walking occasion, without necessarily the full consent of your will. (In fact, your willingness to suddenly apologize as soon as you felt a voice tell you to, suggests to me that your will was not to sin at all here, and the reaction to meet aggression with aggression was almost automatic. But I dunno, I’m not a pastor and I don’t consider myself to have the competence to suggest which way this one goes)). So feel free to substitute: “… simply for their awareness that you acted imperfectly.”

I used the word ‘sinned’ here just because one way or another, whether your neighbours saw this or not, and whether you technically sinned or not, all our neighbours can accurately know that we are sinners, just because we’re human. And I imagine for almost all of us, at some point most people that we know will observe us engage in sinful or at least erroneous or wrong behaviour, and it’s important to learn to let go of our attachment to our reputation and desire to be seen as if we hadn’t been genuinely in the wrong. Sometimes, we’re each genuinely in the wrong. And I personally find God most wholly in those moments when I most fully realize that I’m in the wrong (or truly so weak in some area), that I genuinely need forgiveness and strength from outside myself; I genuinely need God.

Anyway. For whatever it’s worth.

PS in addition to prayer and taking your neighbour some baking, try making yourself some tea, taking a warm shower, etc. Calm yourself on the physical level as well as take steps on the spiritual/social.
 
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Brother is right 🙂

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Yes, I use to have a bad temperament (I don’t like to admit that). This situation brought me back to “those” days which is a part of my past that I want to leave behind. I’ve worked extremely hard throughout the years to change that. I even had a spiritual director whom I confided in and helped me tremendously in becoming the person I am today. Sadly, I lost contact with him. That’s why this is bothering me so much. I’m not that person anymore. I’d like to think I’m no longer that person.

I did have to submit myself to God in that moment. Spiritually, I was in battle with the enemy. I realize that now. The enemy wanted me to keep going, and I did. But, the moment I submitted myself to God and apologize, I no longer was “heated” and it changed the tone of the confrontation. But now I’m left with guilt, which is poking at me to the core. Perhaps it would have been easier to deal with had it not been a neighbor a few houses down from me.

You are correct, today I was reminded that I am weak. A reminder to stay humble. Thank you for pointing that out. I am extremely hard on myself when I fail to do something right. Maybe it’s just human nature and I have yet to fix that part about me. It’s hard for me to talk myself out of these negative emotions because I truly have a gentle heart (not something most men will admit to but I do). I love that about me and accepted that as a trait that makes me who I am today. A kind, genuine, loving, gentle man. I want to maintain a healthy relationship with everyone, especially my neighbors.

Today I was reminded about my previous next door elderly neighbors where I use to live before moving here. They were the kindest, gentle neighbors anyone could ask for. They would always tell me, “You are the best neighbor we’ve ever had”. They had tears in their eyes the day I moved out of the neighborhood when I went over to say goodbye. That’s the type of relationship I want with my neighbors. At the very least, just a simple wave to acknowledge them makes a difference.

As for a peace offering, I’m thinking about purchasing a car wash for them to get their car washed. I’m not much of a baker (but I’m learning though 🙂 )

Thank you all for taking the time to respond and for your prayers. It truly brings me comfort to know there’s a community like this to help each other out, especially in these difficult times. I know He will heal me from this guilt and make me whole again. All I can do now is learn from this, try to do better and pray, pray, pray. Many blessings to you all 🙏 💙
 
I think a paid car wash sounds like a lovely idea! And fitting, now that I think of it, haha.

May God bless you and your new neighbours; I hope in time you become good friends! Or at least healthy neighbours. Each relationship will always be different because each person is different: But hopefully in their own unique ways, these relationships will be good and exactly what God intends for you all!
 
Welcome to CAF, @me90007!

For all the OP’s needs,
we pray to the Lord:

Lord, hear our prayer.
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Let's Pray a Perpetual Rosary II Spirituality
Second Luminous Mystery: Wedding at Cana (Hail Mary 6) [Cana2] Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen. Intentions For: the repose of George Floyd’s soul; an end to excessive force; preservation of the rights of free speech and public assembly; And: an end to COVID-19 and all other epidemics; the health of all pries…
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Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Prayer to Our Lady of Mental Peace

O Lady of Mental Peace,

Mother of Tranquility

and Mother of Hope,

look upon me90007 in this time

of weakness and unrest.

Teach her searching heart

to know that God’s Love

for her is unchanging and

unchangeable, and, that

true human love can only

begin and grow by touching

His Love.

Let your gentle Peace -

which this world cannot give
  • be always with her.
And, help her to bring this

same Peace into the lives

of others.

Our Lady of Mental Peace,
  • Pray for us!
Amen.

Jesus, Help Me!

In every need let me come to You with humble trust,

saying:

Jesus, help me!

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:

Jesus, help me!

In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:

Jesus, help me!

In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments,

troubles and sorrows:

Jesus, help me!

When others fail me, and Your Grace alone can assist me:

Jesus, help me!

When I throw myself on Your tender Love as Savior:

Jesus, help me!

When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good

come from my efforts:

Jesus, help me!

When I feel impatient, and my cross irritates me:

Jesus, help me!

When I am ill, and my head and hands cannot work and

I am lonely:

Jesus, help me!

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and short-

comings of every kind:

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me!

Amen

†

Prayer for Justice

God of Justice and Mercy,
I humbly ask you to inspire integrity and honesty
in our government. Enlighten our lawmakers and
president so that they will to work together for
the betterment of the U.S. and our world community.
Give us hope in this dark time. In Jesus’ name,

amen.
 
O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world. x10

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
 
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