Praying 54 days Rosary Novena.. but feeling hurt now

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shanishani7

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I am on my Day 22 of my 54 Days Rosary Novena since 1 Jan. I am praying for the intention of finding a real partner (future spouse) who also loves God and others.

I met a guy in my local church a year ago but seldom talk, and met him again on Dec, becoming closer starting from Jan. We had our first date on last Sunday (Day 18) , I also felt that he treat me more than just normal friend. He told me many personal things and even talked about why he broke up with his ex-gf whom I also know (They broke up just a few months ago), and also asked mine. We chatted a lot and had fun that day. We took photos together.

But then on Monday (Day 19), he suddenly told me that he believe he did have feeling to me/ like me a little bit, but he is really not ready for any relationship. He said that he needs to find himself, find some sort of identity, and to believe himself first before he can start something else. He emphasize he is not ready for any relationship and cannot commit to something which might damage both of us long term if things not work out.

I know I need to accept all these if he insists that… I am just not sure if this is an excuse of rejecting me or what.

I am feeling so hurt now, and I never thought my petition will be answered so fast and in this way… I am now keep praying the novena, a little bit of discouraged.

Questions…
  1. Does Mary want to tell me that he is the one for me but not the right time yet? or she wanna let me know he is not the one? Will the outcome change after finished 54 days?
  2. And I don’t know what should be my next step? just treat him as a very normal friend which sees very less, or just keep contact with him and wait for him…?
Any idea? Thanks!!
 
At the conclusion of the Novena you will have prayed and become closer to Jesus and Our Lady. Always a win.
If this guy doesn’t want to date, you have to accept it, and be cordial. When a guy says he’s not ready for a relationship, he isn’t. This is good that he told you and you are not viewing this as the answer that you want. Not necessarily the answer you need.
Keep praying.
We can’t rush the Lord or push the Lord. He acts in His good time for your best.
Rely on your mother Mary to console you and bring peace to your anxious heart. Prayer is always the safe place to fall.
God bless you. Accept God’s will, and you might find that things work out beautifully.
 
Did you not find the replies from the other thread you started on this topic to be helpful?

Please, please, please don’t obsess over this man. He doesn’t want to be with you!

Pianistclare’s advice is good.
 
pianistclare said:
At the conclusion of the Novena you will have prayed and become closer to Jesus and Our Lady. Always a win.
If this guy doesn’t want to date, you have to accept it, and be cordial. When a guy says he’s not ready for a relationship, he isn’t. This is good that he told you and you are not viewing this as the answer that you want. Not necessarily the answer you need.
Keep praying.
We can’t rush the Lord or push the Lord. He acts in His good time for your best.
Rely on your mother Mary to console you and bring peace to your anxious heart. Prayer is always the safe place to fall.
God bless you. Accept God’s will, and you might find that things work out beautifully.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I will try to be patient for whatever God gives me. 😊
I heard many people really received signal graces and God answered them for this 54 days novena. But I have a feeling that mine will go in vain. 😦 a little bit of hopeless.
Maybe I should add other intentions also…
 
shanishani7 said:
Thank you. I will try to be patient for whatever God gives me. 😊
I heard many people really received signal graces and God answered them for this 54 days novena. But I have a feeling that mine will go in vain. 😦 a little bit of hopeless.
Maybe I should add other intentions also…
Click to expand...
Well, it looks to me that his sudden retreat is a signal.
And if it is, that’s grace! You were prevented from a relationship that might have brought you great grief.
Praying Novenas does not magically get us what we want. It does give us what we need though. Which might be a calming of our restless hearts. Think about it.
Prayer is NEVER in vain. stop thinking this.
Peace.
 
heidi_storage said:
Did you not find the replies from the other thread you started on this topic to be helpful?

Please, please, please don’t obsess over this man. He doesn’t want to be with you!

Pianistclare’s advice is good.
Click to expand...
I didn’t obsess him. :eek:
I read the replies, and want more comments so I post here also.
 
pianistclare said:
Well, it looks to me that his sudden retreat is a signal.
And if it is, that’s grace! You were prevented from a relationship that might have brought you great grief.
Praying Novenas does not magically get us what we want. It does give us what we need though. Which might be a calming of our restless hearts. Think about it.
Prayer is NEVER in vain. stop thinking this.
Peace.
Click to expand...
Yes, it is quite sudden. So it can mean that God has worked on that and prevent me from this relationship?
Maybe it is Gods will…
 
Make sure you are not being somewhat superstitious with praying the novena. It isnt going to magically send you prince charming. You need to remember that God answers prayers but sometimes its not what you want. And sometimes it may be years before you find out what or why you got the answer you did.
It sounds like you prayed this novena just to '“make” God give you this person you seem infatuated with. Continue praying the novena if you want but remember God’s answer may be “not right now”…
 
shanishani7 said:
I am on my Day 22 of my 54 Days Rosary Novena since 1 Jan. I am praying for the intention of finding a real partner (future spouse) who also loves God and others.

I met a guy in my local church a year ago but seldom talk, and met him again on Dec, becoming closer starting from Jan. We had our first date on last Sunday (Day 18) , I also felt that he treat me more than just normal friend. He told me many personal things and even talked about why he broke up with his ex-gf whom I also know (They broke up just a few months ago), and also asked mine. We chatted a lot and had fun that day. We took photos together.

But then on Monday (Day 19), he suddenly told me that he believe he did have feeling to me/ like me a little bit, but he is really not ready for any relationship. He said that he needs to find himself, find some sort of identity, and to believe himself first before he can start something else. He emphasize he is not ready for any relationship and cannot commit to something which might damage both of us long term if things not work out.

I know I need to accept all these if he insists that… I am just not sure if this is an excuse of rejecting me or what.

I am feeling so hurt now, and I never thought my petition will be answered so fast and in this way… I am now keep praying the novena, a little bit of discouraged.

Questions…
  1. Does Mary want to tell me that he is the one for me but not the right time yet? or she wanna let me know he is not the one? Will the outcome change after finished 54 days?
  2. And I don’t know what should be my next step? just treat him as a very normal friend which sees very less, or just keep contact with him and wait for him…?
Any idea? Thanks!!
Click to expand...
😦

I’m sorry you’re in pain. I know we can think love doesn´t hurt, but it can hurt like…

Anyway…

Since you asked, based on what you described, I would say it’d be good to see him as a friend, because that’s what he is. Then, would you consider working on other friendships…both male and female? I know it’s probably about the last thing you feel like doing, but in light of his reaction, it’s important to let go.

philosiblog.com/2011/08/16/if-you-love-something-let-it-go-if-it-comes-back-to-you-its-yours-forever-if-it-dosent-then-it-was-never-meant-to-be/

God bless you.
 
shanishani7 said:
Yes, it is quite sudden. So it can mean that God has worked on that and prevent me from this relationship?
Maybe it is Gods will…
Click to expand...
The more you fight it, the more unhappy you will be.
Keep praying, and let this passing relationship go.
 
shanishani7 said:
I am on my Day 22 of my 54 Days Rosary Novena since 1 Jan. I am praying for the intention of finding a real partner (future spouse) who also loves God and others.

I met a guy in my local church a year ago but seldom talk, and met him again on Dec, becoming closer starting from Jan. We had our first date on last Sunday (Day 18) , I also felt that he treat me more than just normal friend. He told me many personal things and even talked about why he broke up with his ex-gf whom I also know (They broke up just a few months ago), and also asked mine. We chatted a lot and had fun that day. We took photos together.

But then on Monday (Day 19), he suddenly told me that he believe he did have feeling to me/ like me a little bit, but he is really not ready for any relationship. He said that he needs to find himself, find some sort of identity, and to believe himself first before he can start something else. He emphasize he is not ready for any relationship and cannot commit to something which might damage both of us long term if things not work out.

I know I need to accept all these if he insists that… I am just not sure if this is an excuse of rejecting me or what.

I am feeling so hurt now, and I never thought my petition will be answered so fast and in this way… I am now keep praying the novena, a little bit of discouraged.

Questions…
  1. Does Mary want to tell me that he is the one for me but not the right time yet? or she wanna let me know he is not the one? Will the outcome change after finished 54 days?
  2. And I don’t know what should be my next step? just treat him as a very normal friend which sees very less, or just keep contact with him and wait for him…?
Any idea? Thanks!!
Click to expand...
Your kind of like me, I’m in a similar situation as you. I got the “no” his not the one answer, and since I got the “no” during my novena, I thought I’d just stop praying for the intention…cause my intention was granted right?..BUT…some people have said that, you should just keep your original intention, even if you might have seem to got the answer during your prayer, and keep praying for your original intention till the end…thats what im going to do…I really don’t know, maybe he is the one, but it’s not time yet…the out come could change or not after the 54 days…

Honestly for me…even though I keep getting mixed feelings…I feel really compelled to just keep the same intention and pray till the end…

Best of luck.
 
JesusEstelle said:
Your kind of like me, I’m in a similar situation as you. I got the “no” his not the one answer, and since I got the “no” during my novena, I thought I’d just stop praying for the intention…cause my intention was granted right?..BUT…some people have said that, you should just keep your original intention, even if you might have seem to got the answer during your prayer, and keep praying for your original intention till the end…thats what im going to do…I really don’t know, maybe he is the one, but it’s not time yet…the out come could change or not after the 54 days…

Honestly for me…even though I keep getting mixed feelings…I feel really compelled to just keep the same intention and pray till the end…

Best of luck.
Click to expand...
right… me too I also feel I need to pray till the end…
 
Yesterday when I was praying novena I asked Mary to show me a rose(s) in my daily life if She heard my prayer. Then today, just now when I opened a page and there is a photo with roses inside. Is this what Mary showing to me? :o
 
I recommend that you finish praying your novena. Mary will help you to find a good spouse if you pray enough for it with 100% confidence in her, and if it is your vocation to marry. God bless you.
 
pianistclare said:
Well, it looks to me that his sudden retreat is a signal.
And if it is, that’s grace! You were prevented from a relationship that might have brought you great grief.
Praying Novenas does not magically get us what we want. It does give us what we need though. Which might be a calming of our restless hearts. Think about it.
Prayer is NEVER in vain. stop thinking this.
Peace.
Click to expand...
Spot on. God gives us what we need, not what we think we want. Many years ago I prayed over an issue. I thought I hadn’t got an answer, until I a couple of years later I finally got the answer. And it turned out to not be the answer I wanted, but the exact opposite.

I can honestly say God did answer my prayer, but in the negative.

And you know what, in hindsight, I now realize it was exactly the answer I needed, and His answer turned my life upside down in a way I couldn’t even imagine, and I mean a “good” upside down in that I was showered with a blessing I never imagined possible.

I pray the Liturgy of the Hours every day, as I do tend to have a restless heart as you say, and I find great comfort from not just the prayer but the stability and structure the LOTH brings to my life.

Prayer is like medicine. Sometimes it can taste bitter, but in the end it always either cures the illness, or if it can’t, soothes the pain of the illness.
 
We can always afford to continue and grow in prayer and in our spiritual life. Even if our intentions are not always answered, God will always hear our prayer and answer our prayers in His own way.
 
completed day 25 already… nearly the end of petition…
wish i can keep going until 54 days… 😊

it’s my first time praying 54 days rosary novena… so much complicated feelings!!
 
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