Praying for a Deceased Person who died in Sin

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Let’s say a man I know died. He had been raised in the Catholic Church by Catholic parents, was confirmed and for years was a practicing Catholic, but he specifically and emphatically rejected Catholicism, preferring instead a very scientific unknowable ultimate reality that would certainly have no interest in relating to people, and if so, it would only be in order to harm them. He rejected every attempt anyone ever made to talk to him about Christ. If you mentioned a missionary, a religious organization, a church, or even an orphanage to him you might hear a tirade of contempt against religious idiots who are out to take your money. He could not be reasoned with and barely approached. He specifically and deliberately rejected Catholic belief and did not believe “that rubbish.” He left behind instructions that he was not to have a funeral, and specifically that there would be no prayer, no religious references, no minister, no priest, no reading of anything, no ceremony of any kind for him. He had, in short, a consistent and thorough history of having rejected God and shutting God out of his life. As far as can be determined, he held onto that until he died, stubbornly refusing to listen or change. If he did, it was last minute, and was between him and God, and no one knows, let alone would believe it, who is on earth.

If anyone went to hell, it is he. Do you pray for such a person, for someone you are convinced died in mortal sin, in hope that you were wrong, and he is in Purgatory? Or do you scratch his name off your prayer list, forget he ever existed, and move on with life? What if he was someone close to you in many ways?
 
Definitely pray for him. You don’t know if he had a last second repentence or not just before dying, or how God judged him.
 
Truthstalker said:
Let’s say a man I know died. He had been raised in the Catholic Church by Catholic parents, was confirmed and for years was a practicing Catholic, but he specifically and emphatically rejected Catholicism, preferring instead a very scientific unknowable ultimate reality that would certainly have no interest in relating to people, and if so, it would only be in order to harm them. He rejected every attempt anyone ever made to talk to him about Christ. If you mentioned a missionary, a religious organization, a church, or even an orphanage to him you might hear a tirade of contempt against religious idiots who are out to take your money. He could not be reasoned with and barely approached. He specifically and deliberately rejected Catholic belief and did not believe “that rubbish.” He left behind instructions that he was not to have a funeral, and specifically that there would be no prayer, no religious references, no minister, no priest, no reading of anything, no ceremony of any kind for him. He had, in short, a consistent and thorough history of having rejected God and shutting God out of his life. As far as can be determined, he held onto that until he died, stubbornly refusing to listen or change. If he did, it was last minute, and was between him and God, and no one knows, let alone would believe it, who is on earth.

If anyone went to hell, it is he. Do you pray for such a person, for someone you are convinced died in mortal sin, in hope that you were wrong, and he is in Purgatory? Or do you scratch his name off your prayer list, forget he ever existed, and move on with life? What if he was someone close to you in many ways?
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I would pray for him, hoping he repented at the last second. I can’t help it. That is just the way that I am.
 
It is never for us to judge the state of another person’s soul, or for that matter the extent of God’s mercy.

Even if we are there at their deathbed and hear them die cursing God, we can’t know that they met all the requirements of awareness and full consent for mortal sin AND were truly unrepentant to the last millisecond.

More importantly, we don’t know the extent to which God will make allowances for the various life events that made them as they were.

So yes, keep praying for them absolutely! Even if they have actually died in a state of mortal sin, your prayers will never go unwasted. God is able to apply them retroactively to the person’s lifetime even, since he is beyond time. There’s a story of Padre Pio still praying for the happy death of of a loved one decades after they had died, for this reason.
 
I heard a nice quote on this once (it may have been Father Groeschel), “the Catholic Church has never said any one particular person is in Hell, only that certain people are in Heaven (the Saints.)” or maybe he was quoting someone else.

This is good to hear as I have many deceased non-religious relatives.
 
Pray for him, and the other tormented souls in Purgatory as well.
 
I have personal experience with this question. Several years ago, when I was going through RCIA, my cousin died of a drug overdose (not sure if it was deliberate or accidental, but he had had a drug problem since he was 13). I didn’t know whether to pray for him or not, since I figured drug use would be a mortal sin. So I just asked God whether I should, and I realize this is subjective, but I received peace about the issue so I started praying for his soul. Later on my mother told me that he had started talking to her about spiritual things and had started going back to church. I also learned that the Church teaches that a person’s guilt can be mitigated in cases of severe addiction, mental illness, etc. My cousin certainly had a long-standing addiction to drugs. However, the fact he was becoming interested in God and spiritual things led me to believe God was drawing my cousin to Him, so I don’t believe God would reject my cousin because he was not able to overcome his drug addiction quickly. I realize that isn’t the same situation as the person you’re talking about, but like other posters have mentioned, you never know what God may have done in that person’s heart right before death.
 
And don’t forget. “Love covers a multitude of sins.” If these people you worry about loved at least a little in thier lives this is something very positive in their favor.
 
What was it Jesus said about the woman who anointed his feet - ‘many sins are forgiven her because she has loved much’
 
We are all sinners…and Jesus Christ died for us. Let us pray for all who have died because God knows the hearts and minds of men not us.
 
Truthstalker said:
If anyone went to hell, it is he. Do you pray for such a person, for someone you are convinced died in mortal sin, in hope that you were wrong, and he is in Purgatory? Or do you scratch his name off your prayer list, forget he ever existed, and move on with life? What if he was someone close to you in many ways?
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The judgment of the final resting place of a soul is the exclusive perogative of God. Frankly, this is what the “judge not” verses are getting at (not “judge not the behaviour of another” which is within our perogative). It is easier to love one who loves you and it is easier to pray for one you think is a saint. But are we called to do what is easy?
 
Yep. We pray for him. Lots can happen in those last seconds of life. Read Brideshead Revisited. (Yes, I know it’s fiction, but if DaVincidiots can say that, so can I. 😃 )

Scott
 
I find great peace in praying for the dead. It has to be good for us as well. God, in His infinate mercy has given us such a great source of hope, He wants us to take full advantage of that.
 
Our obligation to pray for him stems from the Spiritual Works of Mercy:

from OurLadysWarriors.org:

The Spiritual Works of Mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor in spiritual necessities (CCC #2447), those being focused on getting a soul to Heaven. The seven Spiritual Works of Mercy are:

  1. *]Admonish the sinner
    *]Instruct the ignorant
    *]Counsel the doubtful
    *]Comfort the sorrowful
    *]Bear wrongs patiently
    *]Forgive all injuries
    *]**Pray for the living and the dead **
    Personally, I try to take it one step further - if I know for certain the deceased person was baptized Catholic, I seek out and do everything I can to offer a plenary indulgence for their soul. I figure they were victims of pride and arrogance while on earth, and that once they were released from the limitations of the human mind/body would find themselves in purgatory unable to help themselves. By offering indulgences for them they get released and can then pray for me. I know it is the prayers of those in heaven which help me get through each day on earth. I find it beneficial to add more souls to my list of watchkeepers. I’m happy to fast and pray for them because their support helps me tremendously.
 
I would definately pray for him. I also encourage you and everyone on the forums to pray for the holy souls in purgatory. They really need our help. I don’t know all the rules about offering a Mass for the deceased but if you can, offer a Mass. That is the highest prayer we can offer for the deceased. (Perhaps someone can enlighten me here, are we able to offer Mass for non-Catholics? I think so, but am not sure).

It is hard when we don’t know where a person ‘went’ after departing this world. But even if they are not in a position where prayers will help them, we are acting with mercy and love when we pray for them. These merciful and loving prayers are some of the most important actions we can take, I think.
 
Prayer_Warrior said:
(Perhaps someone can enlighten me here, are we able to offer Mass for non-Catholics? I think so, but am not sure).
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I, too, would appreciate clarification.
I think masses can be said for all souls - baptized or not.
But I was told by our priest that indulgences can only be applied to baptized souls.
I believe he meant all baptized Catholic souls, but that’s where I was seeking clarification…
if the Church recognizes trinitarian baptisms for sacramental marriage, will trinitarian baptism be enough for us to offer indulgences on those souls?
I have a lot of protestant friends who just never got to know the Truth (or just couldn’t accept it) before they died. They were good, generous, loving Christians…I’d love to be able to offer an indulgence for them, but I can’t find the answer as to whether or not it would work.
 
YinYangMom said:
I, too, would appreciate clarification.
I think masses can be said for all souls - baptized or not.
But I was told by our priest that indulgences can only be applied to baptized souls.
I believe he meant all baptized Catholic souls, but that’s where I was seeking clarification…
if the Church recognizes trinitarian baptisms for sacramental marriage, will trinitarian baptism be enough for us to offer indulgences on those souls?
I have a lot of protestant friends who just never got to know the Truth (or just couldn’t accept it) before they died. They were good, generous, loving Christians…I’d love to be able to offer an indulgence for them, but I can’t find the answer as to whether or not it would work.
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I have never heard that about indulgences, that doesn’t make any sense to me. If a soul is in purgatory, they have been saved already, they are just in the process of being purified. I would guess that if they are in purgatory, and did not receive a water baptism on earth, perhaps they received the baptism of desire or baptism of fire. Either way, I think you can still gain an indulgence for any soul in purgatory as they are all Holy Souls at that point. I just don’t see how baptism would be an issue after the person has been saved. But that is just my two cents. I think there is a book called the Handbook of Indulgences. I think it may have all the information you need. Also, here is a website with a lot of info about the Holy Souls and indulgences.

holysoulscrusade.org/holy-souls.html
 
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