Praying for a miracle! - A Very Long Time - Pray for Me

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Coming up on New Year’s Day - my birthday and the birthday of my oldest daughter who was abducted, molested and murdered 12 years ago. Struggling through grief and pain, a word was placed in my vocabulary - foster child. My family and I are blessed with two adopted children from Romania - and I love them dearly and do/would do anything for them. Yep, they are spoiled rotten.

Now for that word in my vocabulary. To keep a long story short, there once was a kid who seemed to blend in with my two adopted children - a foster kid. Checking into the situation, no chance at a return home, and let’s just say the case made a point to me that convicted child molesters are the “preferred dads”- I guess its a social services thing. Emotionally, I undoubtedly incurred some additional pain and have ever since have the desire to bring one more child into my family. I desire that just has not faded over time. No one seems really understand the deepness of the desire or why; and I guess that’s OK.

Not much support for whatever reason. And for over 5 years, I have been blessed to come in contact with several needy children with very disfunctional families - the contact with the kids just come and go. All these contacts were made through friendships at a local community church - a "seeker type church " with a lot of transients (no discernable pathway in the Catholic environment) A few years ago, I even offered to a mom to pay for the tuition for their two daughters to go to the same Catholic school as my daughters are currently attending. What a bomb!!!. Family issues and I just didn’t realize the “love” Baptists have toward Catholics. For whatever reason that hurt more deeply than other situations

Only to illustrate, the depth of my conviction (and not to have a pity party) one of my relatives families adopted a child, was working on a second - but did not work out. Never had an emotional reaction to the others - but when the most recent additon to their family showed up - I was literally vomiting dry heaves in the front yard of my in laws. I passed it off as the flu. My wife knows the real story. Doesn’t understand or choses not to. Upon reflection, there was something about that youngster that made a huge difference in how I reacted

My next birthday is coming up tomorrow - Ugh. Season of live closing and closing fast. I have prayed to Jesus, Mary, St. Jude, and anyone else who might be an advocate in “high Places”

The only options - to leave sufficient funds from a recent inheritance to provide for a child that would be identified after my death, or perhaps chat with a little ol’ grandma that I don’t even know that is trying to raise two kids on her own.

My family will think I have gone somewhat nuts on the Catholic thing - but a good few hours I plan to be at my home church for Eucharistic adoration on Friday - after whinning to God for while. I 'm going to “sit and soak” as they say.

I know the drill - leave it at the Cross of Jesus - too many human free will decisions need to line up to make your miracle really happen. Very much easier said than done

Whoever reads this thread - thanks for listening, any comments, and prayers. New Years Eve and Day are simply a bit rough . Never posted something like this before - so I hope it is appropriate.

May God Bless You All in the New Year

Ron
 
I read your thread Ron, but it lost me. Are you looking for a child to adopt and not having any luck?
Now for that word in my vocabulary. To keep a long story short, there once was a kid who seemed to blend in with my two adopted children - a foster kid. Checking into the situation, no chance at a return home, and let’s just say the case made a point to me that convicted child molesters are the “preferred dads”- I guess its a social services thing. Emotionally, I undoubtedly incurred some additional pain and have ever since have the desire to bring one more child into my family. I desire that just has not faded over time. No one seems really understand the deepness of the desire or why; and I guess that’s OK.
Does this mean you once had a foster child that drifted out of the family and you are looking for her? She was molested by a pervert and left?

I’m sorry but I’m :confused: I hope you return to this thread and add to it.
 
I am very sorry for your loss Ron, I can’t imagine losing a child in that manner.

Your post confused me though –

OK wait the biological father of the child you wanted to adopt is a convicted child molester and social services placed the child back with him?

And what about the “love” of Baptists towards Catholics? Were you being sarcastic? I’m lost.

Thanks for clarity if you come back to the thread. I don’t know what to pray for for you! But will pray for peace today and tomorrow.
 
Wow. I appreciate your concerns and responses

I’ll try not to be vague.

For BaMaRider: Ideally, I would adopt. My family forwhatever reason is opposed. The more plausable compromise would be a very close partnership between two families - but as far as the youngsters would be concerned all would get along together, and no one would get upset if the word ‘dad’ were ever tagged to me. Its that type of volunteering, I was contemplating to offer grandma - including financial support if needed

The child was in foster care but NEVER entrusted to us, since we sought adoption as the goal. Social Services goal Permanent Foster Care. Never molested as far as I know, currently attending a local community college

For KCtheMommy. Yes the biological father is a convicted child molester. Goal as stated earlier was Permanent foster care. Keep in mind sufficient time as passed that child is now a young adult. BUT the trauma and pain of MY experiences remain. Inspite of federal and state law which would require a child being made available for adoption in the situation. It was much better for the child to have court ordered visitation in a closed conference room under very close supervision in lieu of the adoption option

On the sarcasim of the Baptist issue. May God forgive me. I caught a lot of “heat” as I made my journey back to the Catholic faith from Baptists and Fundamentalists that were my closest friends.Thankfully, only some - not all Perhaps, I have erroneously concluded that the prospect of children going to a Catholic school in lieu of public was biased. At any rate, no one, even family members that I have known for decades has ever come to me to discuss anything. All “cut and run”.

Hope that I have clarified. And thanks, again, for your thoughts and prayers

Ron
 
I’m somewhat lost, but that is often normal. Praying for you!
 
For KCtheMommy. Yes the biological father is a convicted child molester. Goal as stated earlier was Permanent foster care. Keep in mind sufficient time as passed that child is now a young adult. BUT the trauma and pain of MY experiences remain. Inspite of federal and state law which would require a child being made available for adoption in the situation. It was much better for the child to have court ordered visitation in a closed conference room under very close supervision in lieu of the adoption option
Ron,

It is odd to have a goal of permanent foster care if there is an adoptive family available. Has the child aged out of foster care or is s/he still a minor?

Have you talked with the ombudsman of your states division of child protection?

Bryan
 
Ron,

It is odd to have a goal of permanent foster care if there is an adoptive family available. Has the child aged out of foster care or is s/he still a minor?

Have you talked with the ombudsman of your states division of child protection?

Bryan
Not if the parent exercises the right to stop an adoption. By showing interest in the child and doing whatever a judge told him too – he can stop an adoption.

🤷 That’s hard.
 
Wow. I appreciate your concerns and responses

I’ll try not to be vague.

On the sarcasim of the Baptist issue. May God forgive me. I caught a lot of “heat” as I made my journey back to the Catholic faith from Baptists and Fundamentalists that were my closest friends.Thankfully, only some - not all Perhaps, I have erroneously concluded that the prospect of children going to a Catholic school in lieu of public was biased. At any rate, no one, even family members that I have known for decades has ever come to me to discuss anything. All “cut and run”.

Hope that I have clarified. And thanks, again, for your thoughts and prayers

Ron
OK gotcha… 👍
 
Ronl, you will be in my prayers. I can understand the longing you have to help another child. It isn’t always easy to accept what God has chosen for us, is it? Perhaps by praying more for these children you wish you could help, you will feel like you ARE helping them. God bless you and may He comfort you with your loss.
 
St. Gianna, you gave your life because of your love of a child. Intercede for Ron that he may find healing through the love of Mother Mary and her Son. Amen.

Ron, God bless you. I know all too well that ache in your heart when you want another child and it seems impossible. We did successfully adopt, and I’m sure you could too if you got out of the foster system and did a private or agency adoption, or even an international adoption.
You’re right, the foster system often does not seem to have the best interests of the children in mind, and it seems insane that anyone from outside the system can see the glaring problems, but those inside who could do something about it are blind to the harm they are causing.
 
Praying for you from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Prayers and Intercessions

Blessings to Christ Emmanuel, conceived and born of the Virgin Mary. We address our prayers to him:
  • Son of the Virgin Mary, hear us.
You granted to Mary the joy of motherhood:
give all parents true joy in their children.
King and peace-bringer, your reign is justice and peace:
grant that we may work for peace.
You came to consecrate the human race as God’s holy people:
bring all peoples together in harmony.
By being born you took on the bonds of family:
let each family live in unity.
You chose to be born into time with us:
may the deceased be born into eternity with you.
 
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