If you haven’t heard about contemplative prayer, mysticism, mortification, purgative contemplation, transforming union or Divine Union, I am honored to bring you this terminology.
From what you’ve written, it seems you are actively seeking God. God already knows where you are so it isn’t about finding God, it’s about letting God into your mind and heart. This way you can open yourself up to healing and renewal beyond your currently wildest dreams, in terms of the serenity you can walk around with, “in the kingdom,” while you’re still here in this life to fully enjoy it. This is the Real Good News as I see it – we are all called to Divine Union by our very nature. Do what Jesus says; deny yourself (this is your ego or “false self” which needs to be mortified actively such as with the
Litany of Humility or and/or passively such as with various contemplative practices). (see also
CCC 2700-2725 on the expressions of prayer)
Contemplative prayer, the spotlight of my comments, is a self-effacing exercise where you let your normal stream of conscious thought go in favor of inviting the Lord into an open mind and heart. And strictly speaking, “contemplation” is not something you actually do, but is done unto you by the Lord, through the Holy Spirit aka the Divine Therapist, at His will and on His schedule. Contemplative practices open us up to His entry into our hearts, though, so IMO effectively there are things you can do to bring about healing because if you find a way to become open to it, I personally believe the Lord will not hesitate to bring you your treasure, and show you the way to the kingdom. We expose ourselves without commentary or excuse, just an open invitation that brings us into the deeper levels of intimacy with with written Word, compared to just the surface (literal) sense. As we enjoy the scrutiny of the Light of Truth, and experience the healing, the ride might be a little bumpy but not necessarily; each person’s journey toward Divine Union is different.
Alan
