Praying for yourself

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Just_wondering

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I have a real problem with the idea of praying for myself. I don’t know why exactly, but I feel like it would be selfish to pray for my own success or happiness. I have no problem with asking others to pray for me. I also have no problem with praying for guidance in solving a problem. However, I feel like I shouldn’t pray for something good to happen to me.

For example, I’m pretty broke right now. After I pay my bills and my tuition this month, I’ll be lucky if I can buy groceries, let alone a gift for my boyfriend. However, I don’t feel that I can pray for money for myself. It seems rude, somehow. Like giving your Christmas list to someone who didn’t ask you if you wanted anything. Also, I don’t know, it seems like praying for help is like implying that God wouldn’t help me if I didn’t pray for it, which kind of seems like I’m not trusting in Him to pull me through.

I’m not Catholic yet, so I don’t know if there’s any Church teaching on this. I’ve been posting on CAF since October, and I’ve still never set foot in Church! I don’t know why it’s taking so long, but I still feel this hesitation. I’m praying, I’m trying not to sin, and I’m watching and learning.

I see other people “swimming the Tiber” and I feel like I’m standing on the edge of the river, working up the courage to dip my toe in the water. I’m the one standing on the bank, asking the swimmers if the water is cold, and looking at how far away the opposite shore is.

And then, today the prayer I wouldn’t say for myself was kind of answered. My mother phoned to say that she wants to deposit money in my bank account, as a Christmas present. It’s been years since my parents have given me a present (mostly due to distance, and I’ve never asked them for anything), so this came as a big surprise. Does God answer the prayers we never ask? Is worrying about something and losing sleep over it enough to count as a prayer?

Anyway, thanks for listening to my dumb questions. What do you think? Am I thinking too much about this? Do you pray for yourself? What kind of things do you pray for?
 
Yes, I pray for myself. I have a tendency to not ask for specific things unless it’s an emergency…and, my dear, no money is an emergency. If you feel bad doing it, keep asking others to pray for you. I’m glad your prayer was answered 😃

You know, God knows our heart. So, I think, that if you are leaning on God and His Son, you really don’t have to make a spoken prayer…sometimes I think spoken prayers are for our own needs. You are asking God for help by living your faith in His Son.

Why don’t you attend Mass? Do yourself a favor and go this weekend…just sit there, close your eyes and listen. (Of course open them occasionally to see what is going on, LOL) Don’t try to keep up with the little traditions, just take it all in. Feel the Holy Spirit…it’s awesome…and let us know what you think.

I don’t at all think your questions are dumb. I’ve asked them at one time or another in my life…

oh, BTW, it still may not be too late to enroll in RCIA…call the church office. And come join us…Tiber Swim Team '08 . We have our own little club (see my siggy)

I’d be happy to mentor/help you on your journey. Tell you about what books to read, etc…but really you are in one of the best places to learn the Faith.

God bless you. I will pray for you and your journey!
 
Praying for yourself is acknowledging your need for God.
God desires good for us, and so, we pray and ask God to bless us with good things, but more so, our humble gratitude for the blessings He gives us.

Jim
 
The Lord, Himself, taught US how to pray: Give US this day . . . Forgive US . . .

He also said: Ask and you shall receive.

NOT praying for oneself, to my mind, shows an incredible lack of humility. Yes: he already knows our needs. But praying for ourselves helps us work our way into understanding what He wants for us.

“Lord, help me get the job I want” becomes “Lord, take me where you need me to be so that I can serve you and protect the people You have entrusted to my care.”
 
Just_wondering said:
I have a real problem with the idea of praying for myself. I don’t know why exactly, but I feel like it would be selfish to pray for my own success or happiness. I have no problem with asking others to pray for me. I also have no problem with praying for guidance in solving a problem. However, I feel like I shouldn’t pray for something good to happen to me.
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since Jesus tells us several times in the gospels to ask for what we want and need, this fear is unfounded, and may indicate a need to explore and adopt more the trust in Divine Providence. reading the last section of the catechism on Christian prayer based on the Our Father could be a real help in this.
 
Look at it this way- by asking for something, you’re “allowing” God to do specific things. We know how much He values our free will- praying for yourself lets God know what your will is (not that He needs to be told).

Of course, the goal is to have OUR will match God’s, not the other way around, but by petitioning God for our own needs we’re learning important spiritual lessons.

FMS
 
Sometimes I too am a little shy to ask God for things for myself - after all, Christianity is about being selfless, right?

One thing I do at such times, in the spirit of the Our Father which is a prayer about ‘us’ and ‘we’ rather than ‘I’, is to pray for all those who have the same problems or needs as myself. It also helps to remind myself that I’m not alone in my difficulties either.

At other times I may pray for something specific, and then pray for all the people other than myself who may be affected/benefited by it. If I pray for a financial need, for example, I may pray for my family who otherwise would be burdened with helping me out. If I pray for some success in work, I pray for the colleagues and clients who would also benefit by it. And so on.
 
I pray for myself. I used to feel “funny” but then I figured sometimes I need help too.
Kathy
 
Thanks, everyone, for your replies and thoughtful advice. I guess I do need to just get over it and learn to pray for myself. Because honestly, I do need help these days - I’m feeling overwhelmed at the thought of one more year of being this broke while I do my Master’s degree.

LilyM, I like your idea of praying for people in circumstances like mine. That way, I don’t have to feel like I only want happiness or relief for myself.

Feedmysheep, your way of looking at it is really good too. I hadn’t considered the “free will” aspect. I was thinking more about how “God helps those who help themselves.”

DJgang, thanks for your offer. I probably will need a mentor, especially since I don’t know very many English-speaking Catholics in person. I don’t think I can join RCIA '08 - knowing myself, I won’t be able to make the journey that quickly. But as I move closer to becoming Catholic, I’d appreciate any advice you can give me!
 
Just_wondering said:
I see other people “swimming the Tiber” and I feel like I’m standing on the edge of the river, working up the courage to dip my toe in the water. I’m the one standing on the bank, asking the swimmers if the water is cold, and looking at how far away the opposite shore is.
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Don’t worry about this. It’s better to take your time and be sure. As a Tiber-swimmer myself, I read my first booklet on the Catholic faith ten years before I finally converted! God was working on me, slowly and surely, as I addressed the usual Protestant issues – Mary, praying to saints, etc. I took the inquiry class at the local Catholic Information Center, but then I took another few months to let all of that info sink in before I felt ready to enter RCIA. Go ahead and dip your toe into the water, pull it back if you need to before you dip in your whole foot, etc. etc.

I pray for others more than I pray for myself, but I do pray for myself fairly regularly, too. It’s more for spiritual things such as wisdom, strength, discernment, and help overcoming certain sins than for specific requests or material things. On the rare occasions that I pray for a specific outcome for a situation, it is always “if it be according to Thy will.” I know only too well the folly that comes of trying to get God to do things my way! :o

Take the time you need, and come on in to church! May God bless you in your journey of faith.
 
Well, first of all, you have to understand what prayer means: It is a dialogue with God.

God certainly knows what we need and what we desire, and He expects us to ask Him for what we think we need and want.

But just because we ask for something doesn’t mean we’ll get it, because God cannot give us what is not good for us.

It all has to do with our definition of happiness; does it coincide with God’s will?

Certainly, pray for yourself, but remember to ask that God’s will be done. Pray with humility. Seek to know God’s will, and be willing to accept that what you think is best for you is not necessarily so. Trust God.

Pray for yourself, pray for others…and let God love you.

Don’t feel guilty for your dependence upon God - it is humility to recognize that you can do nothing and you are nothing without Him.
 
" What father among you, if his son asked for a fish, would give him a snake?" (Luke 11:11) Jesus wants us to pray to Him and bring our petitions, however small, to Him. Because He loves us. Ishii
 
Just_wondering said:
I have a real problem with the idea of praying for myself. I don’t know why exactly, but I feel like it would be selfish to pray for my own success or happiness. I have no problem with asking others to pray for me. I also have no problem with praying for guidance in solving a problem. However, I feel like I shouldn’t pray for something good to happen to me.

For example, I’m pretty broke right now. After I pay my bills and my tuition this month, I’ll be lucky if I can buy groceries, let alone a gift for my boyfriend. However, I don’t feel that I can pray for money for myself. It seems rude, somehow. Like giving your Christmas list to someone who didn’t ask you if you wanted anything. Also, I don’t know, it seems like praying for help is like implying that God wouldn’t help me if I didn’t pray for it, which kind of seems like I’m not trusting in Him to pull me through.

I’m not Catholic yet, so I don’t know if there’s any Church teaching on this. I’ve been posting on CAF since October, and I’ve still never set foot in Church! I don’t know why it’s taking so long, but I still feel this hesitation. I’m praying, I’m trying not to sin, and I’m watching and learning…
…And then, today the prayer I wouldn’t say for myself was kind of answered. My mother phoned to say that she wants to deposit money in my bank account, as a Christmas present. It’s been years since my parents have given me a present (mostly due to distance, and I’ve never asked them for anything), so this came as a big surprise. Does God answer the prayers we never ask? Is worrying about something and losing sleep over it enough to count as a prayer?

Anyway, thanks for listening to my dumb questions. What do you think? Am I thinking too much about this? Do you pray for yourself? What kind of things do you pray for?
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WOW ! Dear Just Wondering,
Not only was that NOT a dumb question but will you say a prayer for me, please? It sounds like you have a pipeline to Heaven. No, I’m not kidding. I have some serious issues that could use an answered prayer.

Yes, I pray for myself often. Needs that I think are necessary, whether or not they are - I beg God for them in the hope that He will deign to answer. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, we’re told in the Bible, “ask and you shall receive” - but I don’t think this is necessarily a carte blanche promise that we’ll receive everything, which makes the Bible even harder to understand sometimes.

I was taught that we’re not supposed to pray for money. Maybe prosperity (if that’s the correct work) - in other words enough to get by - “Give us this day, our daily bread.” and I’m not sure if “daily bread” is bread on the table or The Bread of Life. But not to pray for money. Our Lord told the Apostles they shouldn’t worry about tomorrow. "Consider the sparrows…(while I can’t recall words without checking Bible, it continues)…“yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.” “Consider the lilies of the field. They neither toil nor do they reap. But I tell you Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these.”

We’re not supposed to pray for riches - or worry about where this or that will come from - although it seems to be human nature in most of us to worry whether we’ll be able to pay for our necessary expenses. But you seem to have had your prayer answered - especially in consideration of the fact that you say you haven’t received a gift from your parents in years? Did they know or have an idea about your financial need? If not, I’d say it wasn’t just coincindence or a prayer answered - it was a miracle. Pay attention to it ! Maybe God is trying to get your attention.

But don’t think everytime you pray for money, you’ll win a lottery ! God has His reasons.
Keep me in your prayers - I sorely need them - and right now, God’s listening closer to you than you realize.
 
Dear Just Wondering -

During Mass this evening, the thought of your post/question popped into my mind (of all times) between the Offertory and Consecration. And, yes, I ***was ***concentrating on the Mass.

But I’m thinking that the timing of this was interesting because, as I also recalled my reply to you about your parents’ gift being a “miracle”, I was now hit by the thought that perhaps - since you mention you hadn’t received a gift from your parents in years, maybe God is telling you something, and maybe it has nothing to do with traditional gift-giving. Maybe you’re being nudged into doing something for them (whatever it is they may be needing) - or speaking to them - and this unexpected attention-getter is God’s message to you. I don’t know. I’m no brain but the idea hit me so suddenly and clearly out of nowhere during Mass. There was nothing (either in the priest’s sermon or otherwise) that could have brought your post to my mind.

Maybe you should consider what it is your parents may need - not necessarily a tangible gift - but it’s just a thought.
 
Not only was that NOT a dumb question but will you say a prayer for me, please? It sounds like you have a pipeline to Heaven. No, I’m not kidding. I have some serious issues that could use an answered prayer.
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Conservative:
I sent prayers your way last night, and more will be coming. I’m not so sure about the “pipeline to Heaven” bit, but it’s a nice thought. 🙂
But you seem to have had your prayer answered - especially in consideration of the fact that you say you haven’t received a gift from your parents in years? Did they know or have an idea about your financial need? If not, I’d say it wasn’t just coincindence or a prayer answered - it was a miracle. Pay attention to it ! Maybe God is trying to get your attention.
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Well, we hadn’t talked at that point about money. Later in the conversation I told them that I might not have enough money to come home for my brother’s wedding in March, but that’s a long time off and we’re talking $1000 for the trip, not the $100 I’d need to tide myself over until next payday. I have no idea how much my parents have sent or will send, but I imagine it’ll be close to $100. If they sent more than that, I would be astounded, and agree with you that it’s a miracle.
I was now hit by the thought that perhaps - since you mention you hadn’t received a gift from your parents in years, maybe God is telling you something, and maybe it has nothing to do with traditional gift-giving. Maybe you’re being nudged into doing something for them (whatever it is they may be needing) - or speaking to them - and this unexpected attention-getter is God’s message to you. I don’t know. I’m no brain but the idea hit me so suddenly and clearly out of nowhere during Mass. There was nothing (either in the priest’s sermon or otherwise) that could have brought your post to my mind.
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That’s a very interesting thought. I’m not sure what it is that my parents need right now - the reason I phoned them (aside from the fact that I phone them every week) was that I wanted to discuss me getting engaged to my boyfriend sometime soon (I hope). We discussed it briefly, but not to the extent that I would have liked. I really want to have a heart-to-heart with my mom about it, but it’s so hard over the telephone. Maybe it’s just me being selfish, but I really have the feeling she feels the need to say something (probably negative) about me getting engaged, and I want to have that conversation. We just haven’t had the time to connect on that level - it’s hard to get into that kind of conversation on my lunch break, which is the only time I can call home.

Other than that, I can think of nothing they need. (grandkids, maybe?😃 should wait until I get married for that!) Maybe just another long conversation. You wouldn’t believe the long distance bills I rack up!
 
Just_wondering said:
That’s a very interesting thought. I’m not sure what it is that my parents need right now - the reason I phoned them (aside from the fact that I phone them every week) was that I wanted to discuss me getting engaged to my boyfriend sometime soon (I hope). We discussed it briefly, but not to the extent that I would have liked. I really want to have a heart-to-heart with my mom about it, but it’s so hard over the telephone. Maybe it’s just me being selfish, but I really have the feeling she feels the need to say something (probably negative) about me getting engaged, and I want to have that conversation. We just haven’t had the time to connect on that level - it’s hard to get into that kind of conversation on my lunch break, which is the only time I can call home.

Other than that, I can think of nothing they need. (grandkids, maybe?😃 should wait until I get married for that!) Maybe just another long conversation. You wouldn’t believe the long distance bills I rack up!
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Thanks for the prayers. Sounds like your parents are trying to help you make the trip, if not more. As for the conversation, it sounds like a heart-to-heart is in order - and not on the phone. And, of course, your Mom’s bound to have something to say - that’s what Moms do. If that’s your concern, whatever the negatives, maybe you should say a prayer to be enlightened (if that’s the correct word) - and understanding of whatever her views may be. It’s bound to be out of concern for you. Moms are light years ahead of us in wisdom - and while seemingly opinionated - they tend to be thinking only of our own welfare. (Now, I’m really channelling my Mom!)

My prayers that she, too, will understand when that conversation takes place, so you both will approach it as adults/ loving Mother and Daughter. I still say God’s doing something here that will probably be explained to you at some later time.
Good luck and God Bless !
 
As for the conversation, it sounds like a heart-to-heart is in order - and not on the phone.
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I’d love to have it in person, but it’s going to have to be on the phone. I’m not willing to wait until the end of March to have it, and that’s the next time I can fly home from Korea (if I even can then).
And, of course, your Mom’s bound to have something to say - that’s what Moms do. If that’s your concern, whatever the negatives, maybe you should say a prayer to be enlightened (if that’s the correct word) - and understanding of whatever her views may be. It’s bound to be out of concern for you. Moms are light years ahead of us in wisdom - and while seemingly opinionated - they tend to be thinking only of our own welfare.
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I know that my mom must have valid concerns about my relationship. There are plenty of things for her to be concerned about - my boyfriend is Catholic, I’m not (yet). He’s been married before (it was annulled). He has two daughters. It’s an international marriage. It’s very hard to get him a visa to go to Canada, if that’s what we decide. He works in a factory. He didn’t finish university.

My mom knows all those things about him, and didn’t say anything when she believed I was just seeing him. But now that I’ve told her that I’m serious about him, she’s likely to want to talk about all of those issues in detail. I want to have the conversation, because I really value her opinion, and I want her perspectives on what I’m planning.

Oh, by the way, I’m still praying for you. And God is still looking out for me - today I went to the grocery store, and eight out of ten items on my list were 50% off! 😃 Thanks, God!
 
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