Praying together - how to start?

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I’ve been engaged for about six weeks now, and I was curious, how did you start praying with your boyfriend/fiance/spouse?

We aren’t sure how to start, though we’ve discussed that it’s important to us.

Any advice you could give would be great.

Thanks in advance!
 
Congratulations on the engagement! My fiance and I have been engaged for about 3 weeks now!

Anyways, glad to hear you both want to pray together! Id say start out with a rosary together in a quiet place. Have one lead while the other follows. After awhile (or right away) make it personal and add personal intentions to it before you start. Heh, if you’re like my fiance and I, we could probably spend more time with intentions than the rosary itself. But it’s a nice way to really hear what is on my fiance’s heart. Anyways, best of grace to you two!

Peace!
 
Yes! The rosary is a great place to start. And of course, if you go out to eat together, saying Grace with the sign of the cross out loud before the meal. I think saying Grace together is where my husband and I started (we are both adult conversts).
 
Saying the rosary together is a lovely idea and something I believe would be very positive for your relationship. Having a favorite prayer you recite together could also be nice, for example, the memorare. I would also send you to this web-site run by a recently married couple, PrayMoreNovenanas.com. We are in the 3rd day of a novena to St. John Bosco and I have found the daily emails during the novenas quite convenient as I can use my IPhone to join in anywhere.
 
I like to pray litanies with my husband. My favorite is the litany of th Sacred Heart.
 
uncatechized said:
I’ve been engaged for about six weeks now, and I was curious, how did you start praying with your boyfriend/fiance/spouse?

We aren’t sure how to start, though we’ve discussed that it’s important to us.

Any advice you could give would be great.

Thanks in advance!
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If no one has said it yet…start going to mass together…if you have not yet.
 
Thanks for the advice, but I’m more looking for advice on how to deal with the ‘awkward’. Prayer has always been a very private thing for me, and the concept of sharing that with another person is daunting. It doesn’t help that my fiance’s mother used the rosary as a punishment when he was growing up.
 
uncatechized said:
Thanks for the advice, but I’m more looking for advice on how to deal with the ‘awkward’. Prayer has always been a very private thing for me, and the concept of sharing that with another person is daunting. It doesn’t help that my fiance’s mother used the rosary as a punishment when he was growing up.
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Funny, I wasn’t going to recommend the rosary, but that’s because I find myself falling asleep halfway through the rosary unless I am walking when I say it. 😃

I think using a structured prayer format will help you both with the awkwardness. Even if you simply say an Our Father together that is a start.

Do either of you say the LOTH (any part) or have a subscription to Magnificat? This may not work yet since you aren’t living together, but saying morning or evening prayer together is a wonderful practice. The prayers and even intentions are written out for you. We always add our own intentions, but that’s not necessary.

Another approach is to meet for a Holy Hour (or half hour) each week. Or attend a specific Mass together - either Sunday Mass or perhaps Saturday monring. Then you are building up your faith together as a couple (the goal of praying together), but you don’t have to pray aloud.

I think the part that makes people nervous is sharing verbal expository prayer. We all expect that we have to be like the guy who can just start in with “Dear Jesus we just want to share with you…” and go on for 10 minutes with a perfectly composed prayer that covers all intentions. That is a specific gift that we don’t all have, but the legacy of Catholic prayers helps to bridge that gap between the newly engaged who may still be shy and a married couple who knows through experience what each other intentions and needs are.
 
uncatechized said:
Thanks for the advice, but I’m more looking for advice on how to deal with the ‘awkward’. Prayer has always been a very private thing for me, and the concept of sharing that with another person is daunting. It doesn’t help that my fiance’s mother used the rosary as a punishment when he was growing up.
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Have you heard this quote…The family that prays together stays together.

My suggestion is to pray about overcoming the awkwardness. Start with little things…a simple prayer before meals…a prayer of thanks…use form prayers so that you are not thinking of what to say. There are prayer apps available for your smart phone.

Hope this helps.
 
uncatechized said:
Thanks for the advice, but I’m more looking for advice on how to deal with the ‘awkward’. Prayer has always been a very private thing for me, and the concept of sharing that with another person is daunting. It doesn’t help that my fiance’s mother used the rosary as a punishment when he was growing up.
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Ahhhh! The “awkward” – yup, I still remember the feeling. Since both my husband and were adults and brought up with no religion, we certainly had the “awkward”. My only only advice is to just bite the bullet and go for it. I promise the “awkward” doesn’t last very long. Have a giggle and exchange a glance if you must - God will understand. He LOVES that you are trying out this new form of prayer as a couple instead of solo.

Later you will laugh about how hard it seemed at the time. Honest. And then, God willing, there will be a little one to join you and be your verbal reminder if you ever forget to lead the family in prayer after you exit the drive-through window at the local fast food before chomping into that Big Mac. We may have a forgetful moment now and then (like when at a large non-denom. gathering with everyone getting their food at different times), but our son NEVER forgets. Having a child who finds family prayer totally natural, comfortable and absolutely necessary to everyday life is the BIG BONUS.

Congratulations and God Bless!
 
I felt extremely awkward praying with my husband. In fact, it was way more awkward than him seeing me nude for the first time. I felt so ridiculous and I know my husband did too. Prayer is very private!

My advice is to start praying silently together. Hold hands, bow your heads and pray silently for a moment. Say “Amen.” That’s it.

When you are ready, do the same thing but end with an “Our Father” or a “Hail Mary” - tried and true and no expository praying needed.

After a while, add prayer intentions. “Let’s pray for my dad since he’s sick, let’s pray foe the health of this pregnancy, let’s give thanks for your raise…”

Go from there! Baby steps.
 
Jackie - where were you when I needed you years ago? Great advice! (Had to giggle over the admission that praying out loud together was harder then him seeing you naked in the beginning – TOO TRUE!!!)
 
I can totally relate to being shy about praying togethet or how personal it is.
I had a tragedy happen to me once and I would have never thought of praying with my FH
My FH seen a need and grabbed my hand and we kneeled together and he led me in prayer. It was very brave on his part as he left himself totally vulnerable…we now have done this every night for the last 4 months.
It has made us so close I don’t have the words to describe it.
I highly recommend it:thumbsup:
 
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