Praying with deceased relatives-ok or not?

[mommy_k]

Some one told me recently that we should not be praying with deceased relatives-

Ie: during prayertime asking a deceased relative for help by praying for you or advice. Have you ever done this?

The reason my friend told me this is unacceptable is that we can’t assume where our deceased relatives are-eternally speaking. They may be in hell and that can cause problems.
I thought it was ok because we can ask others on earth to pray for us, and we don’t know where they are headed-eternally speaking, either.

I only ask relatives who were living a seemingly holy life, and people in purgatory can pray for us. Can we never revisit deceased relaitves individually in prayertime and ask for prayers and assistance?

This is very confusing.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Some one told me recently that we should not be praying with deceased relatives-

Ie: during prayertime asking a deceased relative for help by praying for you or advice. Have you ever done this?

The reason my friend told me this is unacceptable is that we can’t assume where our deceased relatives are-eternally speaking. They may be in hell and that can cause problems.
I thought it was ok because we can ask others on earth to pray for us, and we don’t know where they are headed-eternally speaking, either.

I only ask relatives who were living a seemingly holy life, and people in purgatory can pray for us. Can we never revisit deceased relaitves individually in prayertime and ask for prayers and assistance?

This is very confusing.

This is a practice I don’t really do but a couple thoughts.

1. I would ask for prayer not advice. Asking advice seems a bit conjouring.
2. if they are in hell they can’t hear you so no harm there.
3. if they are in purgatory they need our prayers not the other way around.
4. eternity is outside time so a prayer now can be heard and applied where it’s needed regardless of our earthly time frame.

So, I don’t know if that helps or hurts, hopefully you’ll get some more responses. I don’t believe you are doing anything wrong, but maybe just need some refinement in how you view the dead and prayers.

 

[mommy_k]

Thank you Jon S for your response. I pray for them too, but sometimes when I need a bit of help, I would just ask-what would they do in a situation, and to please pray for me. It’s not a long drawn out prayer time, just a question or two.

From what I have gathered over the years, is that the souls in purgatory can pray for us, just not themselves, so of course I pray for them.

I was not aware that souls in hell can’t hear us. I do know that if we pray for someone we didn’t know was in hell, our prayers go to someone else in purgatory.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

I might say, “wow Dad what would you think of this,” or even pray, “Dad if you can hear me, help me figure this out.”

I don’t consider that any different than talking to a canonized saint. Just my personal adviser for a situation in which I’ll never know his/her actual answer because they aren’t here to give it.

If I hear voices or believe that Dad has answered in some specific way, I must be careful because it might be a self-serving prophecy or just my imagined causal relationship to something that doesn’t have one. That could lead me down paths to error, thinking I was being guided by this relative but really it’s probably some shadow of my own ego or my memory of them driving me.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

1. if they are in purgatory they need our prayers not the other way around.

After doing some years of “contemplative purgation” in the manner of the Dark Night, I am not so sure that Purgatory isn’t a Group Sport. We play our flawed personalities against each other, without the bonds of mortal life preventing us from being truly and unconditionally loving?

I wouldn’t mind hearing someone in the Purgatorial “pathway to heaven” drop me a line to let me know what it feels like to be cleansed at such a deep level… :heaven:

MS