Praying with Protestants- Should you make the sign of the cross?

[Tis_Bearself]

I was invited to my aunt’s funeral last month, wherein all of my relatives who were there were Protestants. They know full well that I’m the Catholic, and yet, they still invited me out of love and respect. In order to avoid any hard feelings among us, I chose to do what the Roman’s do and maintain a harmonious relationship with them, rather than deliberately go against the norm and make a scene out of it, which may result in souring our relationship. Remember, these people are my relatives, so please be more considerate when judging others.

My husband was Protestant and his entire family apart from two Catholics (a relative who’d converted to marry a Catholic, and his wife) are Protestant.

When a close relative died in that family, there was no question about whether to invite me to the funeral. Why would there be “hard feelings” among us because we practice different religions? The Protestants aren’t all members of the same Protestant churches either. Family are all welcome, period.

They kindly put a kneeler by the casket at the family funerals so that any Catholics appearing could use it, as they also have Catholic friends in addition to me and the two other relatives.

I don’t know where in the world you are, but it sounds more like you have some unusual family issue. I do not see it as my Protestant kin doing me some big favor by inviting me to a family event, and they would likewise not see it as me making a big concession by inviting them. Each of us would expect the other to pray in the way we normally do, in other words I don’t expect the Protestant to use the kneeler or say the Hail Mary and she doesn’t get bothered if I’m making the sign of the cross, kneeling and saying a Hail Mary.

I would not have married into a family that expected me to hide my faith around them, and I didn’t expect them to hide theirs or act ashamed of it either. That’s what respect and tolerance is - not walking on eggshells around people of a different faith so as not to offend. I appreciate that maybe there’s some unusual culture where you live, but in the US we’re taught not to hide our faith and there’s no reason we should.

 

[GladTidings]

I know it can be difficult to do, but it’s also done to remind us we are born again Christians, just in case anyone asks you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Right on, sister. Me neither.

And if people in other countries expect Catholics to hide the fact that they’re Catholic, that’s another great reason for us to Thank GOD we live in the USA. Between this and the doctors’ office Bible thread, I’m wondering if the rest of the world has gone mad…

 

[St.Bede]

Thank you for your kind consideration. GOD bless!

But to be honest, I’m still hurting right now. I hope next time people would avoid using the words “you should”, “you must”, or “you have to”. Because by saying that, you’re imposing your standard and your way of thinking on others. Remember, others have their own mindset and standards too. As I said earlier, “Respect” (“not hide”) is the key word here. In our part of the world, the golden rule still rings true and very much applicable in our society. “Do unto others what you have them do unto you”. ~ Confucius.

 

[OddBird]

I understand what you mean. If I remember correctly, you’re from Taiwan ? That’s one of the points where East and West differ widely on how society works.

As an European who married a Korean, I had to re-learn boundaries the first few times I went to Korea, as they shift a lot from what I was used to. And I agree that what you describe is not hiding one’s faith; it’s a cultural way of being considerate of others, and also of showing your good will to the person(s) in charge, reassuring them that you are not provoking them or challenging their authority.

Cultures vary. That’s part of the beauty of our world

 

[St.Bede]

I appreciate your understanding. Thank you and GOD bless!

 

[Cricket13]

I actually understand that feeling, at first with my protestant roommate in college/ best friend, I was awkward when making the sign around her, especially around our other protestant friends, eventually, the more I explained catholicism to her, the more she understood and respected my faith. So now I do the sign around her and even have prayed the rosary in front of her with no big argument.
Still, I do tend to sometimes get nervous to make the sign, praying for the courage to feel comfortable to make it in front of other protestants.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Further to the culture point, my ancestors on my mother’s side emigrated to Canada and USA because they were not being permitted to openly and freely practice their Catholic faith in their home country and were being persecuted for doing so. A lot of other people came to US for the same reason.

So for us to be told not to practice our faith because it makes somebody uncomfortable is the opposite of “respect”. It’s insulting to be honest.

 

[TC2]

Hope my Southern Baptist opinion is welcome.
You would be quite welcomed to give the sign of the Cross after prayer,
at least for ME. No offense or confusion or weirdness or…whatever but
acceptance here.

 

[CRV]

@sarac123

when praying with my Protestant friends of whether or not to make the sign of the cross

You’re with your friends - surely they know you are Catholic and accept that you are? Then when you pray, make the Sign of the Cross. It is how Catholics pray. And who knows, being a light unto others, may just in time lead one of your friends to convert to the Catholic Faith. Evangelize by example - by actions and words when necessary which is usually attributed to St Francis.

n instances where I may be leading the prayer, I don’t know if I should still make the sign of the cross

if others are leading the prayer and I’m in a group of protestants, should I make the sign of the cross at the beginning of their prayer?

Yes and yes. You have stated that you are with your Protestants friends. Being your friends surely they would not take offense at you practicing your religion, as they’d rightly expect you to respect them practicing theirs.

Whilst out of charity we consider our neighbors, IMO I don’t think we should put the feelings of/respect for others, above our respect and reverence for God.

 

[CelticWarlord]

when praying with my Protestant friends of whether or not to make the sign of the cross.

I’m not Catholic and I always make the sign of the cross when praying with family or in another church with them.

 

[MiserereMeiDei]

Why not? You’re right after all.

 

[OddBird]

It’s insulting to be honest.

I’m sorry, Tis. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, and I apologize.

At the same time, I disagree with your perspective here.
ETA : and I don’t want to downplay the reasons your ancestors immigrated to the USA. I just think the cultural issue at play here is just that, a cultural issue, not a religious freedom issue.

When I first posted in this thread, I said this :

Why on earth would it be inconsiderate ?

As a Reformed minister, I’ve invited assemblies to cross themselves at the final blessing of services. Most did it happily.

And I still mean it. Because where I live, thanks be to God, this is an absolute non-issue.

But then @St.Bede quipped in, and I suddenly realized we were only having a Western take on the issue, and that someone from Asia would indeed react differently ; not because of religious freedom issues, but because, unlike in the West, society did not develop in an individual and individual rights-centered way. Where my husband is from, even if that’s slowly changing due to globalization, society is based on concentric loyalty circles, enlarging from the nuclear family to the country. The cultural expectation is that the individuals put in the effort to make these circles run smoothly. And it has, I say it again, nothing to do with religious freedom.

I’ve mentioned on several threads here that I’m on my way to Rome. Well, one of the first things that drew me to Catholicism was the history of Matteo Ricci’s Jesuit mission in China. I was fascinated with how Catholicism was able to intelligently inculturate, without losing its soul, where Protestant missions went in with their heavy shoes and forbade everything and anything, forcing people to renounce what had been an essential part of their collective identities for centuries, instead of helping them see the way the Holy Spirit had moved them all along, nudging them gently toward Christ. Respecting the way Asian cultures think interaction between individuals is part of that.

This doesn’t mean there isn’t any religious freedom in Asia, on the contrary. It is simply lived out in a way which isn’t the one we are used to in the West.

 

[St.Bede]

I totally agree with you. GOD bless!

PS. Thanks for speaking up for the Asian minority in this forum. I appreciate your support.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’m sorry, Tis. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, and I apologize.

You didn’t hurt my feelings. I understand the cultural difference. I am actually fairly global and not really in need of the very lengthy explanation you posted. Perhaps it will help someone else.

 

[OddBird]

You didn’t hurt my feelings.

Thank you.

 

[poche]

I try always to make the sign of the cross when I pray.

 

[CarmeliteKnight]

Yes you should. You should also pray the ‘‘Ave Maria’’ in front of them without fear. You need to be fearless in your faith like how Elias was fearless twords the false prophets of Ba’al. If they challenge you, rebuke them in a charitable and loving way, but under no circumstances must you compromise your faith for them.

You are apart of the Church Millitant, sent by your Holy King to lead others to Him. Be brave in your faith.

 

[GiftofMercy]

Hey everyone! As someone who has many Protestant friends but is devoutly Catholic, I have often faced the dilemma when praying with my Protestant friends of whether or not to make the sign of the cross. Of course, I always make the sign of the cross when praying alone or with other Catholics, but I never know whether I should still do it when praying with Protestants. Particularly in instances where I may be leading the prayer, I don’t know if I should still make the sign of the cross or if that would be considered inconsiderate? And if others are leading the prayer and I’m in a group of protestants, should I make the sign of the cross at the beginning of their prayer? Not sure if there is a true yes or no answer to this or not, but if there is I would love to know! Thank you!

It is wonderful that you are all praying together and taking turns leading prayer.
Praise God.

The Sign of the Cross is a Christian symbol, not just a Catholic one. Perhaps you can teach others about what it means at your turn to lead prayer.

Since we are on Catholic Answers, here is one link from Catholic Answers

Sign of the Cross

What is the sign of the cross, and why do we make it? Click here to learn more about this ancient Catholic prayer and what it means to Catholics.

www.catholic.com

 

[Hodos]

Hey everyone! As someone who has many Protestant friends but is devoutly Catholic, I have often faced the dilemma when praying with my Protestant friends of whether or not to make the sign of the cross. Of course, I always make the sign of the cross when praying alone or with other Catholics, but I never know whether I should still do it when praying with Protestants. Particularly in instances where I may be leading the prayer, I don’t know if I should still make the sign of the cross or if that would be considered inconsiderate? And if others are leading the prayer and I’m in a group of protestants, should I make the sign of the cross at the beginning of their prayer? Not sure if there is a true yes or no answer to this or not, but if there is I would love to know! Thank you!

I am Protestant and frequently make the sign of the cross. If it reminds you of the Holy Trinity I see nothing offensive in this. This actually should be something that we can use to bring us closer to understanding one another.