Praying with your spouse

  • Thread starter Thread starter 28562
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
2

28562

Guest
I want to start praying more often with my wife. We always go to Mass together and we always say the blessing at dinner. We always say bedtime prayers with the kids, but we almost never pray with just the two of us. We have a few times in the past, but it really just feels a little awkward. My wife is not comfortable with praying out loud, so if there is anything out loud, it’s just me doing it with her silently following along. As bad as it sounds, sometimes I feel a little silly.🤷 I don’t want to feel that way and I want us to be able to do this together more often. So, I am looking for advice on how others pray with their spouses.

Do you pray silently or out loud? Kneeling by the bed or sitting on the couch? Rote prayers or spontaneous ones? Etc, etc…
 
I say morning and evening prayer from the liturgy of the hours with my wife.

We started out with just evening prayer, but it’s been so good for us we go to bed a little earlier, so we can get up a bit earlier just to say the “office.”

We got the breviaries second hand and in excellent condition off ebay.

I’ve got to say praying together is the best thing we’ve ever done. It’s actually improved our “marital relations” (which is a bonus). We argue less, agree more and are more relaxed with each other.👍👍👍
 
28562 said:
I want to start praying more often with my wife. We always go to Mass together and we always say the blessing at dinner. We always say bedtime prayers with the kids, but we almost never pray with just the two of us. We have a few times in the past, but it really just feels a little awkward. My wife is not comfortable with praying out loud, so if there is anything out loud, it’s just me doing it with her silently following along. As bad as it sounds, sometimes I feel a little silly.🤷 I don’t want to feel that way and I want us to be able to do this together more often. So, I am looking for advice on how others pray with their spouses.

Do you pray silently or out loud? Kneeling by the bed or sitting on the couch? Rote prayers or spontaneous ones? Etc, etc…
Click to expand...
Both, both, and both. When we are bringing our needs to God, and the people we wish to pray for, hubby generally starts us off, and then asks me if I have anything to add. I usually do, but not always. Same goes for giving thanks.

The car is a great place to pray! (Just don’t let the driver get distracted from the road or “mesmerized” by repetitious prayer. 🙂 ) We have done rosaries on road trips 🙂 Also, we try to incorporate scripture reading together at night as a couple. One of us reads aloud, the other listens, and we sometimes share our thoughts on it (very informally). There is an indulgence attached to a quarter hour of prayerful scripture reading 🙂

Also, I like to sing praise and worship songs in the car or around the house. I think hubby think it’s cute, but the truth is, prayer sung is also prayer! I actually enjoy singing p&w, and I “digest” the prayer better than if I were to just “say” it . Here is a quote from St. Augustine on singing praise (borrowed from Fr. Z)

“For he who sings praise, does not only praise, but also praises joyously; he who sings praise, is not only singing, but also loving Him whom he is singing about/to/for. There is a praise-filled public proclamation (praedicatio) in the praise of someone who is confessing/acknowledging (God), in the song of the lover (there is) there is deep love.”

It sounds like you guys are already doing well! Keep running the good race 🙂 God bless you 🙂
 
I think if you keep praying together, it will begin to feel more natural soon. It’s a really lovely thing and I think it will keep your marriage strong in the long run.
 
My wife and myself pray together every day. It is great quality time, and it has brought us closer together.

DGB
 
We don’t do it as often as we’d like but when we do it is usually a decade or a rosary preferred and followed by spontaneous prayer.

Sometimes it’s just praise, sometimes it’s more thanksgiving or petitioning… Never leave out the praise and worship!
We also do bScripture reading and meditation on the Word together at times.

Perhaps she is not yet very firm in her relationship with God and that’s why she feels awkward. Maybe she feels like she’s talking to herself or to an invisible person. Reading the Gospel and perhaps private revelations such as Sr. Faustina’s can help her develop a closer relationship with God. You need to invest time in a relationship and truly get to know a person before it starts feeling intimate. Once all 3 of you share that intimacy, the praying together will certainly start coming naturally!
 
I’d love to hear others tips, advice, experiences, views on this subject…

I wonder how many pages it would be by now if it was a more controversial or more ‘interesting’ topic…:rolleyes:🙂
 
I think part of the reason you may not have gotten many responses is because someone had posted a nearly identical question a day or two before you did. I’ll try to find that thread and post it for you–there were some good tips in it.
 
I am not married yet, but I do pray with my fiance daily, so maybe my suggestions might still help.

We pray the rosary together (on the phone for us) right before we fall asleep at night. He will always say the first half of the Our Father or Hail Mary and I will finish with the second half. After we go to church together on Sunday, we read passages from the bible to each other (this one is never on the phone).

If your wife is a little uncomfortable praying aloud, it might be easier for her to say a structured prayer, like the Our Father, aloud with you. Then perhaps she might get a chance to pray silently next to you. Spontaneous prayers can be hard, especially when spoken aloud. It can sometimes to be hard to just talk to the Lord aloud when someone else is there. That always makes me feel self-conscious (your wife might feel the same way), because I wonder what the other person might think of my prayer. Praying the rosary or reading from scriptures aloud avoids that worry and can be really special.
 
I would add my voice to that of the first respondent.
Especially if your wife finds praying out loud difficult:
The Liturgy of the Hours is the Official Prayer of the Church. It is a Liturgical prayer (like the Mass).
It does take a bit of getting used to… but it’s definitely worth the effort.
It involves reading aloud a series of Psalms and Canticles. - either as “Responsorial Psalms” or alternating so one of your reads the first stanza, and the other responds with the second etc.
If you would like a taste go to www.universalis.com

I would recommend starting with one or two of: Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer or Night prayer.
Morning and evening prayer take about 15 minutes, and include 2 - 3 psalms, a canticle, a Reading and the Our Father, plus a period of Interceions (like the prayers of the faithful at Mass). You can add your own prayers to the intercessions. this is helpful in overcoming reluctance to pray out-loud.

One group I attend suggest that prayer should contain the elements:
A: Adoration (Glory to you O God… You are wonderful) - constant in the Office
C: Contrition (I am so sorry for messing up yet again) in the Office this is recommended as a examination of conscience or act of contrition at the start of Night Prayer.
T: Thanksgiving (Thankyou god for these gifts you have given us) -many parts of the Office - Especially at evening Prayer)
S: Supplication (please God help me with this problem… help our world with that problem) a large part of Morning and Evening Prayer - less so at other hours.
 
My hubby and I are newly weds but we’ve prayed every day together since we got married.

We pray before every meal and then in bed.
We take it in turns one person the first night, then the other the next. My hubby is seriously into ‘free’ praying, where he speaks what comes in his mind and says what he is grateful for, and I prefer more structured prayers but I really learnt how to ‘free pray’ from him.
I really love it!!! ❤️
 
Thanks for the responses, everyone. We have a long way to go I think, but these suggestions should definitely help.👍
 
You guys that can pray with your spouses are very blessed. I am the more “churchy” one in the family and my wife can even get annoyed with saying grace before meals. I used to be more annoyed by this but relaised that you catch more bees with honey so. . . .
 
we pray together everyday both morning and night and then a rosary together on Sundays (on our way to church). We kneel side by side at the foot of the bed and we follow a prayer book. We pray the same prayers every morning and every night. It’s so routine that at this point we don’t really need the book except for a guide. They’re just ingrained and I like that. We take turns saying each prayer so both of us get to be vocal equally.

Maybe following a book would help take some of the awkward out of it? I personally feel self concious when I pray aloud with others listening, because other people can do it so gracefully and beautifully and I will trip on my words. I say my personal prayers silently before I fall asleep.

Try starting with just a few prayers at first and build on it from there! It’s very unifying and comforting!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top