Pre-Marital Sex

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runner93

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I personally don’t believe in pre-marital sex of any kind. I am 16 years old, so it is kinda rare to hear someone my age say something like that. I do have a question though: is having sex while you’re engaged considered a sin, or is it treated as pre-marital sex because the couple has not received the sacrament of marriage?
 
runner93 said:
Alright, thanks! I was kinda hoping for some more feedback from others lol.
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The Church considers it a sin.

This is a Catholic board, so you probably won’t hear too many dissenting opinions.
 
No sex, even when engaged. You haven’t made the sacrament yet, and the engagement could still be broken off, meaning no marriage and then you would have slept with someone before being married.

For what it’s worth, I’m 23, engaged and my fiance and I both are chaste and will remain so until our wedding night.

Good for you for believing that premarital sex is wrong! Don’t let peer pressure in high school or college sway you from this belief. I know how hard it can seem sometimes when it seems like “everybody’s doing it”. But they’re not. I didn’t, nor did my friends 👍
 
runner93 said:
Alright, thanks! I was kinda hoping for some more feedback from others lol.
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Okay, from a purely secular viewpoint (not that I look at sex that way, but it makes this illustration simpler):

A man and a woman are about to get married. Man has an insurance policy which pays a $500,000 death benefit to his surviving spouse. They are engaged. If he died, his fiancee would NOT receive the death benefit because she was NOT his spouse at the time of his death.

If she can’t receive money, then neither can receive other “benefits” that belong strictly to spouses.

Yeah, it really IS that simple!

(FWIW, I actually heard this 'way back when I was a public school student in the '70s… things hadn’t completely gone to pot at the time!)
 
runner93 said:
I do have a question though: is having sex while you’re engaged considered a sin, or is it treated as pre-marital sex because the couple has not received the sacrament of marriage?
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:yup:

Premarital means “before marriage” – You’re not married yet if you’re engaged. 😉
 
mommamia said:
The Church considers it a sin.

This is a Catholic board, so you probably won’t hear too many dissenting opinions.
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True, but you never know.
BrokenFortress said:
No sex, even when engaged. You haven’t made the sacrament yet, and the engagement could still be broken off, meaning no marriage and then you would have slept with someone before being married.

For what it’s worth, I’m 23, engaged and my fiance and I both are chaste and will remain so until our wedding night.

Good for you for believing that premarital sex is wrong! Don’t let peer pressure in high school or college sway you from this belief. I know how hard it can seem sometimes when it seems like “everybody’s doing it”. But they’re not. I didn’t, nor did my friends 👍
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Yeah I get ya.
Truly_Beloved said:
:yup:

Premarital means “before marriage” – You’re not married yet if you’re engaged. 😉
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Ouch, way to make me feel like an idiot 😛
bluerose said:
Okay, from a purely secular viewpoint (not that I look at sex that way, but it makes this illustration simpler):

A man and a woman are about to get married. Man has an insurance policy which pays a $500,000 death benefit to his surviving spouse. They are engaged. If he died, his fiancee would NOT receive the death benefit because she was NOT his spouse at the time of his death.

If she can’t receive money, then neither can receive other “benefits” that belong strictly to spouses.

Yeah, it really IS that simple!

(FWIW, I actually heard this 'way back when I was a public school student in the '70s… things hadn’t completely gone to pot at the time!)
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Haha that is a good way of putting it actually.
 
runner93 said:
I personally don’t believe in pre-marital sex of any kind. I am 16 years old, so it is kinda rare to hear someone my age say something like that. I do have a question though: is having sex while you’re engaged considered a sin, or is it treated as pre-marital sex because the couple has not received the sacrament of marriage?
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The Church teaches that it is premarital sex until the Sacrament is received.
 
Way to go for your strong beliefs, especially as a high school student. That was an especially challenging time for me with all of the peer pressure. My advice is to stay strong by praying for purity when you feel weak and remember that living chastely before marriage is tough, but nothing is impossible with God’s help!
 
Hi. I believe the same as you. I joined the True Love Waits movement in middle school and still wear my purity ring which I will be melting down to make my boyfriend’s wedding ring. I am 25 and he is 24. We are both incredibly committed to this. I have not dated a lot of guys, but every guy I have dated was aware from square one of my commitment to my faith. My boyfriend and I have been going out for two years, and we are committed to waiting of the wedding night. When we have travelled we have had to stay in the same room, but we always sleep in separate beds and we have never had a problem.

There is no doubt in my mind that we will be married. We often talk of our future together and we start marriage prep through the Catholic Church on Sunday. The only reason we are not officially engaged is he wants a full time teaching job first and right now he is just subbing. But the church and the Bible are very specific on God’s requirements.Hang in there! It can be done and you will be a happier person for it.
 
So sex until you’re married. I’m 24, been married for 2 1/2 years, and my hubby and I waited until our WEDDING NIGHT. (not engaged, because you aren’t married when you’re engaged and it’s a sin then too) We have NO regrets. Wait until you’re wedding night. You’ll be glad you did.

The best way we describe it to our friends was like…well like we’ve all been given a burlap bag. We are told to be incredibly careful because inside is something so precious, but we can’t open it until we are married. Every time you fool around with someone, think lustful thoughts, you are swinging that bag around carelessly. You keep forgetting it places, and you don’t care because…hey, it’s just a burlap sack right? Some people (most) don’t know or care what is in there so they just smash the bag or give it away. Then, on our wedding night it was as if we opened the bag and found inside the most intricate, beautiful, expensive, and FRAGILE thing ever. We were amazed at how wonderful it was to wait. We were amazed at the gift of sex. Immediately afterwards we were terrified thinking about all the times we almost gave that bag away, or the times we were treating it so flippantly. I kid you not that after we got over the “glow” of the moment…we wanted to call ALL our single friends and BEG them not to ruin everything by giving it away. We didn’t, but we sure told them when we got back from the honeymoon!!!
 
Everyone, I think, must examine their own conscience, to make careful and informed decisions about sexual morality. There is nothing wrong about waiting, though.

But please consider the case of someone with a lifetime lack of a vocation for marriage. For those of us in that boat, ALL sex is a ride on a sinking ship.

At age sixty, if not for premarital sex, I would still be a virgin…Unfortunately, ( have a weakness for intimate embrace, that is not easily satiated.

But something just occurred to me. If I never get married, is it still premarital sex? That is, can the sexual experiences of someone who does not ever marry, be properly referenced to a marriage status, that will never come to fruition?
 
runner93 said:
I personally don’t believe in pre-marital sex of any kind. I am 16 years old, so it is kinda rare to hear someone my age say something like that. I do have a question though: is having sex while you’re engaged considered a sin, or is it treated as pre-marital sex because the couple has not received the sacrament of marriage?
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Yes it is, until you’ve made the vows on the alter before God it’s a sin.
 
Magickman said:
Everyone, I think, must examine their own conscience, to make careful and informed decisions about sexual morality. There is nothing wrong about waiting, though.

But please consider the case of someone with a lifetime lack of a vocation for marriage. For those of us in that boat, ALL sex is a ride on a sinking ship.

At age sixty, if not for premarital sex, I would still be a virgin…Unfortunately, ( have a weakness for intimate embrace, that is not easily satiated.

But something just occurred to me. If I never get married, is it still premarital sex? That is, can the sexual experiences of someone who does not ever marry, be properly referenced to a marriage status, that will never come to fruition?
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It’s fornication. Fornication is any sexual act done outside the bonds of matrimony. And yes, its still a sin. 😦
 
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