Pre-Wedding Stress

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joandarc2008

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I am sure that many other people have been through this but as my fiance and I get closer to the wedding we are pulling our own hair and sometimes each other’s hair out. Granted there are many other things going on but it seems like weddings can be stressful. On top of it I seem to be going through that little 30 year old hormonal flux. We love each other more than anything and have no reservations but right now the wedding plans are driving us crazy. We actually had to stop and plan a date for this coming Saturday night because we had forgotten to do that in a while. Does anyone have any advice on this?

God bless,
 
The week before my wedding, I went on hiatus from my fiance. He was staying with his parents in our hometown and I was staying with mine; my Maid of Honor flew in three days before, and I spent all my time up to the wedding with her. She was a hugely calming influence. It really helped me to just be the heck away from my finace for a little while and concentrate on “girl stuff.”

Good luck, love! It’s stressful, but you’ll make it through!

*Stella
 
Stella,

I am so looking forward to that. I was the maid of honor at my matron of honor’s wedding. I haven’t seen her since then due to distance and money. We will be doing the whole spa thing for a couple of days. I cannot wait. It will be great just to catch up. Thanks for bringing a ray of light. 😃

God bless
 
**I voted for coordinating everything and other.

We essentially had to replan our entire wedding. We had a nice October wedding planned (everything was booked and all deposits paid) when my military hubby found out in June that he would be leaving at the beginning of August to go to Kosovo!!!

So in less than a month we had to plan a new wedding!!! I lost the good DJ, the good caterer, and the good hall. I had to settle for what we could get in a month’s notice in the middle of wedding season:rolleyes:**

I was working full time then, my hubby was super busy at work, and I only had one good friend to count on (who without her it wouldn’t have been possible to get it all done) plus my wonderful mom who did SO MUCH!!!
**
So, while we didn’t have the wedding we had envisioned, have the wrong date engraved on hubby’s ring:shrug:, and had to be separated by an ocean only 2 weeks after our wedding, we survived…so will you;)

Congrats on your upcoming wedding and take the time to enjoy it. **
 
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I just got married this summer, so have just done all the planning and preparing and all that :). Wedding planning can be extremely fun, busy and pretty stressful! My vote would go to “coordinating everything” because it does take so much planning and there are so many little details involved even when you’re keeping things simple.

Just know that it will all get done, and it will be beautiful. Most importantly, you’ll be married to the love of your life and celebrating that joyous day with family and friends! It’s awesome that you took time out from all the planning to just have a nice date night. That’s so important to do whenever you get the chance, just to get away from all the planning for awhile. Oh, enjoy the spa day! It’s so nice to relax with your friends and get pampered just before the wedding. The day before, my “bachelorette party” was going out to lunch with the girls and going to the salon to get our nails done.

Enjoy the rest of the planning process, and enjoy your day!
 
Congratulations!!! 🙂

I voted coordinating everything, since that was definitely the biggest stress for me. I didn’t have a wedding planner or a really helpful group of bridesmaids or a generous mother of the bride, so I pretty much did it all on my own. I didn’t have much of a choice, but it was definitely stressful. I remember feeling so relieved leaving the reception–now I could just relax and enjoy my DH! :love:
 
it wasn’t my in-laws… I left that to DH… it was my family and the interaction with his family I feared. It was so bad our priest offered to marry us on Thursday before all the family flew in…

My biggest fears… my mother is a snob and she tries to take thinks over. So I feared her treating my new in-laws like doodoo and her trying to change things. She did try to change things… she brought 2 dresses (very dressy and beaded) for the wedding and reception… I very clearly stated casual clothes for the reception(it was at a reindeer ranch and there were go carts and a corn maze for the kids but everybody went around looking at the reindeer and sat on hay bales and horse blankets to eat), she brought a unity candle… umm… told you a hundred times… no unity candle MIL is agoraphobic… and she gave me a very formal guest book… for a very casual reception. So… when we got to the church, I put her in charge of curling my step dd’s hair and when we got to the reception, I asked the owner of the place to run interference (she was a friend) and kept mom out of my hair.

Other than that, I feared my oldest sister and my oldest brother would cause disruption… but thankfully they didn’t show up. On DH’s side, we worried about his brother and niece doing the same… and they didn’t show up either. More than anything, it would have been the combination of all of them showing up that would have caused trouble.
 
  1. My mother telling me I couldn’t get married without inviting X, Y & Z.
  2. Finding out fiancé was lying about things I considered important and wanting to call off the wedding.
I invited X, Y & Z and was too embarrassed to call it off.
 
i chose other. my other was nothing. i had no stress. i did what the church said so i was good, and i didnt care about the planning so i told my now wife to do as she pleased. all i had to do was show up sober and say i do, piece of cake.
 
if in-laws were not part of the mix there would have been no stress whatever.
 
aggiecatholic05 said:
i chose other. my other was nothing. i had no stress. i did what the church said so i was good, and i didnt care about the planning so i told my now wife to do as she pleased. all i had to do was show up sober and say i do, piece of cake.
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And you, my dear friend, are why the women in the crowd are going crazy.

Praise God my fiance finally realized i DIDN’T want to plan everything by myself, even though he “doesn’t care”. 🙂

He recently suggested sending out invitations in “regular envelopes”- you know, the kind you send your bills in. AHHH

My biggest stress? My family- and his probably. My family lives 2000 miles away and are NOT thrilled that we’re getting married out here instead of there.

As for his family- let me just say this. His family lives across the street from his apartment, and only about 10 minutes from me. I’ve lived here for over a year, and dated him for over 3 and I still have yet to set foot in the house he grew up in.

yeah.
 
at least from my perspective as a man, it is much more fun to be in A wedding than in your own wedding. if you do something stupid before during or after its not near as big a deal. we have nothing to plan except getting the groom there. a rented tux is easy and its not your fault if it doesnt fit. free drinks afterwards. all in all its a good deal.
 
GuadalupeSlave said:
And you, my dear friend, are why the women in the crowd are going crazy.

Praise God my fiance finally realized i DIDN’T want to plan everything by myself, even though he “doesn’t care”. 🙂

He recently suggested sending out invitations in “regular envelopes”- you know, the kind you send your bills in. AHHH

My biggest stress? My family- and his probably. My family lives 2000 miles away and are NOT thrilled that we’re getting married out here instead of there.

As for his family- let me just say this. His family lives across the street from his apartment, and only about 10 minutes from me. I’ve lived here for over a year, and dated him for over 3 and I still have yet to set foot in the house he grew up in.

yeah.
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see theres the thing. if asked for ideas i would have said the same thing on the envelopes. why not? cheaper and still gets the job done.

my wife did want to do it all with her maid of honor, so i let them. used all that time to go on multiple fishing trips with my friend, the maid of honors boyfriend.

good times
 
Honestly? There was no stress surrounding it. Until one thing, 3 weeks before the wedding.

We lost our reception hall. Yes, you read that right. Things with the management there were going very very wrong, and because of a lot of non-existent communication, the hall was triple-booked.

We were bringing in the least amount of money for said hall, so we got the ax.

I think my mom & husband thought they were going to have to hospitalize me for a nervous breakdown. In the meantime, my caterer found us our new hall, so that we could still use him and not get stuck with using a caterer we “had” to use because of rules of different places. Thank God for him!

And then thank God for one of my bridemaids’ fathers. He offered to type up the info about the new hall, complete with directions from the church, made copies, and my mom mailed them out to everyone (invitations had obviously gone out already), plus had extra copies to have on hand at the church on our wedding day.
 
Wow, Jenn I can’t imagine. The American Legion has given me the hall for free so I know that one is taken care of. I offered to pay but I had done a lot of volunteer work before starting to plan the move so they wouldn’t hear of it. NOt only that before I met my fiance I was kind of the confimed single in the group that was voted most likely to die a single not a good rep when you are 20 in the American Legion. So they always joked that if hades froze over and I got married I could have the hall. What can I say the Lord works miracles. Nothing like having 50 different father figures to give your fiance the third degree either but he fit in like part of the family. I don’t drink so they even gave him all of my free drinks at all of our events.

My fiance has been a saving grace. His associates is in agroscience and my “Florida Mom” is a florist that learned her trade in Brooklyn in the old days. She is doing all of our silk flowers free of charge.

The major problem right now is my in-laws. They will be doing one of two things:
  1. Not coming to their son’s wedding in their own church
  2. Coming but not being honored as the mother and father of the groom.
The only reason they have been invited at this point is that it was recommended we have them there to see the ceremony so that there is no way they can deny we were married in the eyes of God. Well God Bless,
 
My current wedding stress is getting our premarital counseling together. My fiance lives 1300 miles away and works more than full time and I am a full time college student. We’re doing our marriage prep with his spiritual director and getting their lives to line up my school breaks is proving a bit difficult.
 
I’m pretty far off from being in the pre-wedding stages, but I picked the first option, paperwork. We’re in an international relationship (I’m from Canada, he’s from the Philippines, and we met in Korea), and we’re so far away from being able to get married. He’s divorced, the Church declared his first marriage invalid, but his ex-wife claims the divorce wasn’t legal 🤷 :confused: and so he’s trying to get his first marriage legally annulled. Once that happens (and I pray daily that it does), we need to decide whether to marry right away and wait for him to get a visa to Canada, or whether I should invite him to Canada under a fiance visa and marry there instead. At this point I just want to walk into the nearest church and get married at the next Mass they have!
 
My ex-husband was abusive. I knew he was baptized Catholic but I was not exactly welcoming the idea of tracking him down after seven years. As it was, God intervened. My mother opened the phone book and started calling Catholic churces in the Boston area. As it was the first one she called had his baptismal certificate so I was able to get a lack of form without having to contact him. My prayers were definetly answered and I could see that God was definetly smiling on my upcoming marriage.

God bless,
 
Stella76 said:
The week before my wedding, I went on hiatus from my fiance. He was staying with his parents in our hometown and I was staying with mine; my Maid of Honor flew in three days before, and I spent all my time up to the wedding with her. She was a hugely calming influence. It really helped me to just be the heck away from my finace for a little while and concentrate on “girl stuff.”

Good luck, love! It’s stressful, but you’ll make it through!
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I couldn’t disagree with this more! My fiance helped me stay sane throughout the wedding planning process, and made me keep my mind on what really mattered–that we were vowing to spend our lives together and were going to enter into such an amazing sacrament.

We cherished every minute together of that last week before we became husband and wife, going to Mass, practicing our first dance, doing silly wedding crafts, etc. Actually, my bachelorette sleepover (Wednesday night; we were married on Friday) was the low-point. The last thing I wanted was “girl time” at that point–I either wanted time to be by myself collecting my thoughts and praying, or I wanted to be with my beloved.

Any other advice? Um, keep the whole wedding thing in perspective. Color coordination and ‘perfection’ are NOT IMPORTANT. What is important is the sacrament, and the fact that all of your friends and family are there to witness it. Have fun with your guests, spend time with your husband, and realize the grace-filled nature of the day. Get some help if you can–I relied so much on my mom’s last-minute assistance, printing the place cards and such. Soon the wedding will be over and you’ll be on to the important business of building your life together! 😃
 
Im getting Married In march , Im a guy and it hasnt been to to bad but its had some moments. The one thing ive realized out of this is how simple us guys are and how complex and detailed women can be.
 
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