G
Groo
Guest
Great post - thanks for taking the time to share your perspective!As chance would have it, although I am female, I grew up surrounded by men and boys. They seem easier for me to figure out. I don’t necessarily like them better or worse, but I’m more able to predict what they want and correctly interpret what they’re trying to say. I think it depends on whether your boss has a communication style and decision-making style that is close to what you are used to. For instance, if your boss thinks and acts like your father, it doesn’t matter so much that you don’t think and act like that yourself. It matters that you have a handle on how to interact with him. If your boss thinks and acts like your mother, that is great if you look up to your mom and have a good relationship with her, if you are used to accommodating how she operates. If your female boss drives you crazy in all the same ways your mom drives you crazy, then whether or not you are male or female, that boss is going to drive you crazy like no other boss can, LOL!!
I just want a boss I can figure out and that I think is fair. I don’t want to have to bite my tongue and dodge bullets all the time. Other women I know would rather have a female boss, though, because the female boss is quicker to pick up on their communication style. They sometimes feel that with many male bosses, you have to draw him a picture when it comes to social skills.
Men are not as clueless as some women seem to think, however. Some are just more likely to deal with communication they don’t want to hear by acting as if they didn’t hear it. IOW, they sometimes use the “men are clueless” thing to their advantage when they are no such thing. It’s like when women act helpless because they know their male co-workers want to jump in and do something without help. These are things they could do just fine if the men were not around, but if the guys want to do the work for the price of appreciation of their skills, why not? This is something that a guy might pull when there is a shirt to be ironed. If you seem incompetent, then for the price of being clucked at you get someone else to iron your shirt for you.
People are so funny! That is why it is so hard for me to say, “I want a male boss” or “I want a female boss.” I can think of work groups where I’d want a female boss, because of the group, and work groups where I’d want a male boss, because of the group. For myself, though, I want someone I can get a handle on. Give me that, and I can get along OK. I’m the youngest in a big family, so I’m used to that!
I think the ability to figure out a boss is key. The second half of my career has been in a females dominated industry; whereas the first half was all men. This was due to a career change. And it to has given me many opportunities to see men and women in action at work.
As I work with women more, I think I am gaining some understanding. For example, when a woman seems to become emotional in a discussion (e.g. higher pitch, raised voice, quicker speech), I tend to take it as a criticism of me or my work. In reality, she may just be having a bad day or this is just her natural response to stress.
But when a man becomes emotional with hands flailing and a red face, I think, “ahh, he’s just a bit stressed. It will pass.”. I am certain that my preference for a male boss is based partly in how I perceive different styles of communicating.
