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Mikaele
Guest
I have a Catholic friend who had a child in the past year. He is unmarried and living with his baby and girlfriend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
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1ke
Guest
Stop having sexual relations, go to confession, then get married or move out. Premarital sex and cohabitation are sins against the sixth commandment.
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white_sheep
Guest
If he isn’t going to marry her he should move out and have a plutonic relationship with her. If he is going to marry her he should move out and get engaged and marry her already. They are at least advised to live chastely and stay in different rooms of the house.
O
ohioszo
Guest
Is he asking for advice?
When two people live to together, prior to marriage, they are often have announced an engagement. They may say that the situation of living together rather than marriage is due to financial reasons due to schooling. Either before, or after, bearing a child, two people who desire marriage, may marry in the Church. In our family, we have a Priest who will do the vow exchanging, but, without a Mass. It may be different if both are Catholic, I do not know.
For couples who are not church-going, nominally Catholic, they can be married in a civil service, the church that the non-Catholic’s family attends, or a new church they both will attend. If your friend, who wants advice, does not wish to marry, or his girlfriend does not wish to marry, then you have a situation where grandma and grandpa will love the children, but, a marriage may never happen even after more children are born. Some people have this relationship, and, one might say married or not, but, not married, don’t be surprised if there is a break-up between the couple and even with X number of children.
I think that it may be rough for a Catholic to bring his non-catholic fiancee into the church, if they have been co-habitating? But, I do not know this for a fact. With the mercy of God, and good Priests who are there for him, it may happen! If it were to, just like anything else, their sins are forgiven as to any relationships with other married couples. Full communion. There is only one way for that to happen: They need to approach the Church and ask for mercy.
When two people live to together, prior to marriage, they are often have announced an engagement. They may say that the situation of living together rather than marriage is due to financial reasons due to schooling. Either before, or after, bearing a child, two people who desire marriage, may marry in the Church. In our family, we have a Priest who will do the vow exchanging, but, without a Mass. It may be different if both are Catholic, I do not know.
For couples who are not church-going, nominally Catholic, they can be married in a civil service, the church that the non-Catholic’s family attends, or a new church they both will attend. If your friend, who wants advice, does not wish to marry, or his girlfriend does not wish to marry, then you have a situation where grandma and grandpa will love the children, but, a marriage may never happen even after more children are born. Some people have this relationship, and, one might say married or not, but, not married, don’t be surprised if there is a break-up between the couple and even with X number of children.
I think that it may be rough for a Catholic to bring his non-catholic fiancee into the church, if they have been co-habitating? But, I do not know this for a fact. With the mercy of God, and good Priests who are there for him, it may happen! If it were to, just like anything else, their sins are forgiven as to any relationships with other married couples. Full communion. There is only one way for that to happen: They need to approach the Church and ask for mercy.
R
RosaryFan
Guest
I’m thinking like a mother… if that was my son, I’d tell him to marry the girl or move out. I don’t condone living together - not if you don’t want to lose your soul.I have a Catholic friend who had a child in the past year. He is unmarried and living with his baby and girlfriend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
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daeve
Guest
Get married or move out. Yep, that’s my sentiments too. By the time you have a kid, you should know whether or not you can commit to the other person.
The kid deserves both parents, but he also deserves to be raised by people who are setting a good example and not teaching him that you can do anything you want to do, conventions be danged.
Of course, they may think they’re just fine and don’t need any advice.
The kid deserves both parents, but he also deserves to be raised by people who are setting a good example and not teaching him that you can do anything you want to do, conventions be danged.
Of course, they may think they’re just fine and don’t need any advice.
V
Vince1022
Guest
Love.I have a Catholic friend who had a child in the past year. He is unmarried and living with his baby and girlfriend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
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Mikaele
Guest
But it’s not that easy. They can’t afford to live apart. They can’t be in separate rooms either, because of financial reasons.
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Newbie2
Guest
Air mattress and a commitment to chastity until they (if they do) decide to get married or can change their living arrangements.But it’s not that easy. They can’t afford to live apart. They can’t be in separate rooms either, because of financial reasons.
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RosaryFan
Guest
So then what you are saying is the only option they have is to continue living in sin and jeopardizing their souls and the soul of the child to whom they are showing a bad example. Sounds like they’re not too interested in making things right and are trying to justify their immorality.But it’s not that easy. They can’t afford to live apart. They can’t be in separate rooms either, because of financial reasons.
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daeve
Guest
Why can’t they be in separate rooms? Is the place just one big room and the child sleeps in the same room with the parents? That’s kind of a scary thought. Some activities really do require privacy. Maybe you’re using the term “rooms” to mean apartment or flat, a completely different place. I’m thinking bedroom, kitchen, living room. He can sleep on the sofa and she can sleep in the bedroom.But it’s not that easy. They can’t afford to live apart. They can’t be in separate rooms either, because of financial reasons.
I think it comes down to priorities. If one believes that living together as married people when they are not married is a sin, they’ll find a way to stop doing it. If they continue to do it, they don’t really think it’s wrong.
They could just get married too. That won’t cost them anymore than living together does, except for a marriage license. A fancy wedding isn’t required for marriage, just confession and a priest. They have to figure out what’s important: the easy status quo or their immortal souls.
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puzzleannie
Guest
to cease living as man and wife, ie marital relations, until they really are, even if for the sake of the child they remain in the same house. To meet with their priest today, or Monday at the latest, to receive pastoral counselling, including sacramental confession, on this matter and to begin marriage preparation. Bear in mind the pastor will take extra time and trouble to assure the conditions for a valid marriage are present, and that the child alone is not a reason to get married.I have a Catholic friend who had a child in the past year. He is unmarried and living with his baby and girlfriend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
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vera_dicere
Guest
Are both in paid employment? Could the man move in with his parents or an established flat where he pays less rent and then supports the mother and child in their current place if she can’t afford to move out or she can’t get child care for the kid.But it’s not that easy. They can’t afford to live apart. They can’t be in separate rooms either, because of financial reasons.
On a side note, perhaps if they live a more chaste life, and trust in God with everything, He’ll sort out their fiscal situation. God did say He looked after teh sparrows and we’re more valuable then some smelly bird.
Seems to me they’re jsut making excuses for living together. The fact they had sex resulting in a child out of wedlock does say a lot about their committment to live the Catholic faith, is he suddenly committed now? If he is, he’ll get to confession and move out.
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