Pregnancy; prayers and encouragement appreciated!

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TeachertoBe

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As some of you may know from my first and only post on this forum, my fiancé and I are getting married on October 11, 2014. We have been together for almost three years, and for the first two years and 8 months of our relationship, we have held ourselves to a high standard of chastity.

Just in the past three months, we have tripped at the finish line. We have had intercourse a handful of times without contraception, but we have been to confession since, so we are no longer in a state of mortal sin.

My period was late as of today. I have been charting my basal body temperature for only about seven weeks, but I could tell even with my limited data that my temperature for the last two weeks has been running a whole degree above normal. I tried to convince myself that I had had a weird sleep schedule, and that pregnancy was probably not a possibility. I took a home pregnancy test two hours ago, expecting it to be negative, mostly because I was in denial. It was a pretty distinct positive. I immediately told my fiancé, who congratulated me but expressed a little bit of disbelief. He knows that I have VERY irregular cycles and a slight hormone imbalance, and while I tried to explain that it is very unlikely that I would get a false positive, I think he is a little bit in shock.

Still, the two of us sat down and made a rough plan for the coming months. I will graduate with an English degree in May 2015, instead of with an English and Secondary Ed degrees. The baby will probably be born around April, and I will work with my teachers to submit my final assignments before my due date. Shortly before the birth of the baby, I will leave my main job, and I will remain home with the baby until September, at which point I will go to an online graduate program for library science. My fiance will graduate with his two degrees in December 2015. He will continue to work full time.

While that did make me feel much better, I am still a bit of an emotional wreck. At first I was crying and feeling a bit sorry for myself. That subsided after about five minutes when I prayed and thanked God for entrusting us with a soul. I am scared, but really only about what people will think. I know that God equips the called. I know that this baby will be born into a very loving marriage. I know that both of us are willing to sacrifice to give our child the best.

I am still a bit scared. I am an anxious person by nature. I ask that you keep us in your prayers in the coming months.
 
Congratulations. You are carrying a child of God. God bless you & your fiance. Praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe for you to have an uncomplicated pregnancy & safe delivery of a healthy baby. Praying for the intentions of you, your fiance & your baby.
 
TeachertoBe said:
As some of you may know from my first and only post on this forum, my fiancé and I are getting married on October 11, 2014. We have been together for almost three years, and for the first two years and 8 months of our relationship, we have held ourselves to a high standard of chastity.

Just in the past three months, we have tripped at the finish line. We have had intercourse a handful of times without contraception, but we have been to confession since, so we are no longer in a state of mortal sin.

My period was late as of today. I have been charting my basal body temperature for only about seven weeks, but I could tell even with my limited data that my temperature for the last two weeks has been running a whole degree above normal. I tried to convince myself that I had had a weird sleep schedule, and that pregnancy was probably not a possibility. I took a home pregnancy test two hours ago, expecting it to be negative, mostly because I was in denial. It was a pretty distinct positive. I immediately told my fiancé, who congratulated me but expressed a little bit of disbelief. He knows that I have VERY irregular cycles and a slight hormone imbalance, and while I tried to explain that it is very unlikely that I would get a false positive, I think he is a little bit in shock.

Still, the two of us sat down and made a rough plan for the coming months. I will graduate with an English degree in May 2015, instead of with an English and Secondary Ed degrees. The baby will probably be born around April, and I will work with my teachers to submit my final assignments before my due date. Shortly before the birth of the baby, I will leave my main job, and I will remain home with the baby until September, at which point I will go to an online graduate program for library science. My fiance will graduate with his two degrees in December 2015. He will continue to work full time.

While that did make me feel much better, I am still a bit of an emotional wreck. At first I was crying and feeling a bit sorry for myself. That subsided after about five minutes when I prayed and thanked God for entrusting us with a soul. I am scared, but really only about what people will think. I know that God equips the called. I know that this baby will be born into a very loving marriage. I know that both of us are willing to sacrifice to give our child the best.

I am still a bit scared. I am an anxious person by nature. I ask that you keep us in your prayers in the coming months.
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Best wishes!

Don’t be surprised if you are unusually tired soon and find everything harder than usual. Ask for your fiance’s consideration and help.

Vicki Iovine’s Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy is very good with regard to the physical side of pregnancy.

Is your insurance in order? If there is an issue, it’s generally possible for a lot of people to get pregnancy coverage via Medicaid who wouldn’t normally qualify–some 40% of babies in the US are delivered under Medicaid. Get yourself an OB appointment soon.

Good luck!
 
Thank you for your prayers and kind words. We really appreciate it.
 
I was in your exact position 3 years ago.

The only difference being my husband and I weren’t practicing Catholics and we didn’t hold ourselves to a high level of standard when it came to Chastity.

That being said…we did get engaged and found our way into the Church and started to practice Chastity but weren’t that successful at first. I wasn’t using any contraceptives and I wasn’t charting (as I had just discovered what NFP was).

Predictably, I became pregnant soon after. I quit my job and school and devoted myself to becoming a mother. We bought a house together, finished our sacraments through RCIA and got married soon after. It was wonderful and my eldest is in a lot of our wedding photos. She was so precious (and still is!).

Try not to think about the fact that you are pregnant and what other’s opinions may or may not be.
You’ll drive yourself nuts.

It took me a little while to accept the fact that I had sinned and everyone knew because it’s really hard to hide the fact that you are 7 months pregnant and still required to attend marriage prep with your priest and the retreat with 30 or so other couples. I was a hot mess at first but managed to hold my head high and just focus on my husband and not what everyone else thought. It got a little easier as time went on. When we had our daughter it was one of the most beautiful moments of my entire life and I wouldn’t have changed a single thing.
We got married in the Church about 6 weeks later.

You and your fiancé are getting married, you are sorry for what you have done (and I’m assuming have been to confession) and have accepted this beautiful gift from God.

You said it yourself…your baby will be fortunate to be raised in a beautiful Catholic marriage. Your baby is blessed.
 
TeachertoBe said:
As some of you may know from my first and only post on this forum, my fiancé and I are getting married on October 11, 2014. We have been together for almost three years, and for the first two years and 8 months of our relationship, we have held ourselves to a high standard of chastity.

Just in the past three months, we have tripped at the finish line. We have had intercourse a handful of times without contraception, but we have been to confession since, so we are no longer in a state of mortal sin.

My period was late as of today. I have been charting my basal body temperature for only about seven weeks, but I could tell even with my limited data that my temperature for the last two weeks has been running a whole degree above normal. I tried to convince myself that I had had a weird sleep schedule, and that pregnancy was probably not a possibility. I took a home pregnancy test two hours ago, expecting it to be negative, mostly because I was in denial. It was a pretty distinct positive. I immediately told my fiancé, who congratulated me but expressed a little bit of disbelief. He knows that I have VERY irregular cycles and a slight hormone imbalance, and while I tried to explain that it is very unlikely that I would get a false positive, I think he is a little bit in shock.

Still, the two of us sat down and made a rough plan for the coming months. I will graduate with an English degree in May 2015, instead of with an English and Secondary Ed degrees. The baby will probably be born around April, and I will work with my teachers to submit my final assignments before my due date. Shortly before the birth of the baby, I will leave my main job, and I will remain home with the baby until September, at which point I will go to an online graduate program for library science. My fiance will graduate with his two degrees in December 2015. He will continue to work full time.

While that did make me feel much better, I am still a bit of an emotional wreck. At first I was crying and feeling a bit sorry for myself. That subsided after about five minutes when I prayed and thanked God for entrusting us with a soul. I am scared, but really only about what people will think. I know that God equips the called. I know that this baby will be born into a very loving marriage. I know that both of us are willing to sacrifice to give our child the best.

I am still a bit scared. I am an anxious person by nature. I ask that you keep us in your prayers in the coming months.
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Congratulations

I remember you other thread. (boy that got a little weird) Sorry that we all kind of went off on a tangent.:o

I said congratulations because it really is a good thing. You will be married and were planning on that anyway, you have taken the correct steps in confessing so you are good there, and I’ll just bet that you find motherhood suits you. You are probably going to have some money issues because of your other thread. You with being too concerned about it and your husband to be with making sure you are being financially smart about things. The good news is that you are young and you knew that babies were a possibility in your near future.

Also, it is the beginning not the end of this part of your life. My wife works full time as a scientist, is getting her MBA, and is pregnant with our fifth! So just know that it can be done and done joyfully.

But you also have some challenges. You and your fiancee need to be on the same page, and I mean as soon as possible. All that posturing and disagreement and power struggle from the other thread needs to be gone. Completely. You are a team. And you need to act like it. No more playing against each other. Teammates help each other and let each other perform for the good of the team.

I am saying this a a guy. You will look amazing in your wedding no matter what. Put all that superficial stuff behind you. Perhaps, you will need to manage your expectations a little (because I know you were working with a wedding photographer) and I know that women are nutso about this stuff, but use this as an opportunity to really focus on what a wedding really is. You and this man, this man that you love so much are going to be a family, you are going to be a fruitful, Holy family and this has not changed that one bit.

I am praying for you, but I am also happy for you. The adventure that awaits you is better than you can possibly imagine. And harder than you can imagine too! But you will love it.
 
To Hoosier Daddy, thank you so much for your kind reply! It left me in happy tears!

Just so you know, I decided to leave my photography job earlier this week. The employer made a sexual pass at me and I quit on the spot.

After the long financial talk I had with my fiancé today, I really feel like we can do this on his one income if we have to. Since I have changed my major enough to graduate a year early, I won’t have a year’s worth of debt to worry about. He adjusted so he could graduate a semester early. I also am open to the possibility of working from home, where I can be with our child. When we were looking at the cost of daycare, the cost was staggering. Since I am only making $9.50 and hour at my main retail job right now, it’s not worth it to spend $7 an hour on daycare and only take home $16 a day. I will stay as long as I can, but not so long that it compromises my health or safety. While I come from a family of hard-line conservatives who would starve before accepting help, I know that I can accept help from WIC or Medicaid because I am income-eligible and I may very well need to.

I really appreciate all the kind words. This came as a bit of a shock to us at first because after having intercourse a grand total of THREE times I really didn’t think a pregnancy was going to happen. I know that God always has a plan for our lives, and that right now, I am exactly where God wants me.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
TeachertoBe said:
Just so you know, I decided to leave my photography job earlier this week. The employer made a sexual pass at me and I quit on the spot.
.
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Wow! I honestly did not see that coming! But your husband to be may have had some sort of uneasiness. I remember on the other thread someone suggested that and it was not a concern. 🤷 Geesh, good for you for walking right out and it does help reinforce that we must not be to naive with such things!

You are going to be better than ok. Babies are awesome and marriage is awesome and they just go together. I know you are probably scared/shocked now. But put that happy face on because it will really be something you look back on when you are old and in a rocking chair with your hubby and think about the awesome times you had. Every day I wake up I cannot wait until my children wake up because I just cannot wait to spend the day with them!
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Congratulations on your baby and marriage!

Yes, you will be ready and able to afford this little one. I promise you that money will only be an issue if you make it one. Babies really aren’t nearly as expensive as people make them out to be. My husband and I are raising eight on his income alone, and he is not a professional or even a college graduate. I work occasionally if we absolutely need money for a bill or something major, and I do sew/crochet/other crafts to sell sometimes too. With a first baby, most parents receive tons of gifts and usually don’t need to buy much themselves. Try not to worry about money.

I do recommend not telling many people until you are farther along. Since you are getting married soon, I personally would hold if telling until after the wedding. Honestly, I can’t see anyone being upset that you are expecting. You are both adults and in the final months if engagement. You already have a set date. It’s not ideal possibly, but it is far from horrible news. I recommend waiting because there is always the risk of loss, and the potential for people to say hurtful things. Hurtful comments sting even more if a loss occurs, not just for you as a couple but also for the people who made the comments. God bless your family, and I’ll pray for you to have an uneventful pregnancy, safe delivery, and healthy newborn. Oh, and also a loving marriage.
 
bitterhope said:
Congratulations on your baby and marriage!

Yes, you will be ready and able to afford this little one. I promise you that money will only be an issue if you make it one. Babies really aren’t nearly as expensive as people make them out to be. My husband and I are raising eight on his income alone, and he is not a professional or even a college graduate. I work occasionally if we absolutely need money for a bill or something major, and I do sew/crochet/other crafts to sell sometimes too. With a first baby, most parents receive tons of gifts and usually don’t need to buy much themselves. Try not to worry about money.

I do recommend not telling many people until you are farther along. Since you are getting married soon, I personally would hold if telling until after the wedding. Honestly, I can’t see anyone being upset that you are expecting. You are both adults and in the final months if engagement. You already have a set date. It’s not ideal possibly, but it is far from horrible news. I recommend waiting because there is always the risk of loss, and the potential for people to say hurtful things. Hurtful comments sting even more if a loss occurs, not just for you as a couple but also for the people who made the comments. God bless your family, and I’ll pray for you to have an uneventful pregnancy, safe delivery, and healthy newborn. Oh, and also a loving marriage.
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Yes.

Use your willpower and wait to see what people give you later.

When I was a less savvy mom, I used to buy full wardrobes for the kids (on sale, of course), only to get buried under duplicate items from the grandmas and aunties.

Same goes for toys and pretty much everything else–wait to buy unless it’s a screaming deal or you need it right now.
 
Reading all of your replies has left me feeling very encouraged and inspired. Last night I had a little pity party for myself and cried it out, but this morning I have pulled myself together and started nailing down the details. Prayer and decaffeinated tea have helped me immensely.

If I can help it, I don’t think I will tell anyone besides the priest who is marrying us until after the wedding. I will probably only be starting to gain weight at that point, and I am not worried about my dress being snug because of how it is made. I have made am appointment with a crisis pregnancy center to confirm the pregnancy and it’s health, and so I can get a referral to a reputable OBGYN and get contacts for Medicaid office.

As for the sexual harassment, my fiancé responded in a way that is typical of him. He held my hand while I cried and offered to kick the guy’s butt. There were no I-told-you-so’s or snarky remarks. Just love and support and reaasureance. Gosh, I am so blessed to have this man!!
 
TeachertoBe said:
Reading all of your replies has left me feeling very encouraged and inspired. Last night I had a little pity party for myself and cried it out, but this morning I have pulled myself together and started nailing down the details. Prayer and decaffeinated tea have helped me immensely.

If I can help it, I don’t think I will tell anyone besides the priest who is marrying us until after the wedding. I will probably only be starting to gain weight at that point, and I am not worried about my dress being snug because of how it is made. I have made am appointment with a crisis pregnancy center to confirm the pregnancy and it’s health, and so I can get a referral to a reputable OBGYN and get contacts for Medicaid office.

As for the sexual harassment, my fiancé responded in a way that is typical of him. He held my hand while I cried and offered to kick the guy’s butt. There were no I-told-you-so’s or snarky remarks. Just love and support and reaasureance. Gosh, I am so blessed to have this man!!
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😃 Your life is going to be great. And your marriage too.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
😃 Your life is going to be great. And your marriage too.
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I am really starting to believe this.

Mid/Late April is a marvelous time to have a baby. By that time in the semester , we are mostly left to our own devices to finish our final papers and projects. I can get accommodations based on my health circumstances so that I can finish the semester on time and graduate. Then, I will have all spring and summer to adjust with my sweet baby. By the time August roles around, the baby will probably be old enough that he/she can handle being put down for a few hours and maybe I can get a job working from home or attend a few online graduate-level classes. Professional proof reading and technical writing are often work-from-home scenarios. Our incomes will be much lower when we no longer have to file FAFSA with the income information of our parents. (And, of course, as any self-respecting English major, I have toyed with the idea of writing a novel for years…)

My sweet husband-to-be is getting excited as well. I asked if he would still think I am cute when he comes home to me with no makeup and lots of baby puke stains. He replied, “I honestly think I will find you even cuter!” Maybe he just said it to make me feel better, but his enthusiasm is infectious.
 
TeachertoBe said:
I am really starting to believe this.

Mid/Late April is a marvelous time to have a baby. By that time in the semester , we are mostly left to our own devices to finish our final papers and projects. I can get accommodations based on my health circumstances so that I can finish the semester on time and graduate. Then, I will have all spring and summer to adjust with my sweet baby. By the time August roles around, the baby will probably be old enough that he/she can handle being put down for a few hours and maybe I can get a job working from home or attend a few online graduate-level classes. Professional proof reading and technical writing are often work-from-home scenarios. Our incomes will be much lower when we no longer have to file FAFSA with the income information of our parents. (And, of course, as any self-respecting English major, I have toyed with the idea of writing a novel for years…)

My sweet husband-to-be is getting excited as well. I asked if he would still think I am cute when he comes home to me with no makeup and lots of baby puke stains. He replied, “I honestly think I will find you even cuter!” Maybe he just said it to make me feel better, but his enthusiasm is infectious.
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He sounds like a good man. It reminds me of something my husband always tells me. My tummy is no longer flat and no amount of weight loss or exercise will change it. I’ll complain to him about my shape but he tells me that it is all part of why he finds me beautiful. He reminds me that my tummy is the babies’ house and the fact that I was willing to carry his children for him is beyond beautiful. Our children are what makes us literally one flesh–part him and part me. It is something no one else has ever done for him and no one else ever will. I’m positive your husband really will find you beyond beautiful throughout your life together.
 
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