Pregnant, alone, adoption

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lillies09

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I would really appreciate some prayers today.

I posted here almost two years ago seeking advice about my troubled marriage. I married at 18 outside of the Church and after a couple years of a strained marriage (including never actually consummating the marriage) wasn’t sure whether it would be wise to convalidate my marriage. I haven’t been a practicing Catholic for years but with talk of separation/divorce with my husband, I had gone to Mass a few times and was trying to soak up as much info as I could.

Months went by and my husband and I stayed separated, in a sort of limbo, not working on our marriage but not strongly considering divorcing either. Unfortunately I began an affair last February with someone recently out of prison with one child from a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. My affair ultimately destroyed my marriage, and a lot of my life. I lost my virginity while practically blacked out from alcohol and drugs my affair partner had given me – I was devastated but ended up clinging more to him instead of running the other way. I never successfully ended the affair, after many attempts during the lowest period of my life. We divorced in November and have actually built a strong friendship, thanks to his selfless forgiveness of horrible choices and all the pain I caused. Looking back we have always been more like brother and sister, as we never actually had sex, and this has also helped us maintain a friendship despite all the odds against us.

After my divorce at 22, and with all of my shame and depression, I only sought more comfort in my affair partner despite his awful morals and disrespect towards me, and began to rely on him completely. I quit a good job, lost my car, and began staying at his house every night.

I became pregnant in January and am now 15 weeks along. My affair partner, my baby’s father, has just left me for another woman, whose husband has gotten another woman pregnant. The whole situation is disgusting, sad, and at times feels hopeless. I am planning an adoption for my baby and up until he left me for the other woman, he went back and forth between helping me plan the adoption and then threatening not to support it and to fight the adoption in court. Now that he has a new girlfriend, he seems to want very little to do with me and my pregnancy.

We are meeting with my adoption agency tonight at 5:30pm for him to hopefully sign his waiver of parental rights so I may continue to plan for my baby’s adoption into a two-parent Christian family. I am so anxious about seeing him, as I also plan to tell him I won’t be communicating with him directly anymore. If he wishes to be involved in the adoption and interact with the family I have chosen, my adoption specialist is happy to help him with this directly. I just can’t stick around and be his “friend” while he’s left me for someone else at my greatest time of need, carrying a baby we created together.

I know our relationship ending is a blessing in disguise and that God may be protecting me. I know my baby is a blessing from God, for the adoptive family if not for me. I know I need this time of being single and learning to rely in God instead of men. But right now, I am so low, alone, and heartbroken. I want to believe there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel, but it’s so hard right now.

Please pray for me.
 
😦 :hug3: Sweet love, my heart aches and pours out with prayers for you.
 
God bless you with peace.
Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
lillies09 said:
I would really appreciate some prayers today.

I posted here almost two years ago seeking advice about my troubled marriage. I married at 18 outside of the Church and after a couple years of a strained marriage (including never actually consummating the marriage) wasn’t sure whether it would be wise to convalidate my marriage. I haven’t been a practicing Catholic for years but with talk of separation/divorce with my husband, I had gone to Mass a few times and was trying to soak up as much info as I could.

Months went by and my husband and I stayed separated, in a sort of limbo, not working on our marriage but not strongly considering divorcing either. Unfortunately I began an affair last February with someone recently out of prison with one child from a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. My affair ultimately destroyed my marriage, and a lot of my life. I lost my virginity while practically blacked out from alcohol and drugs my affair partner had given me – I was devastated but ended up clinging more to him instead of running the other way. I never successfully ended the affair, after many attempts during the lowest period of my life. We divorced in November and have actually built a strong friendship, thanks to his selfless forgiveness of horrible choices and all the pain I caused. Looking back we have always been more like brother and sister, as we never actually had sex, and this has also helped us maintain a friendship despite all the odds against us.

After my divorce at 22, and with all of my shame and depression, I only sought more comfort in my affair partner despite his awful morals and disrespect towards me, and began to rely on him completely. I quit a good job, lost my car, and began staying at his house every night.

I became pregnant in January and am now 15 weeks along. My affair partner, my baby’s father, has just left me for another woman, whose husband has gotten another woman pregnant. The whole situation is disgusting, sad, and at times feels hopeless. I am planning an adoption for my baby and up until he left me for the other woman, he went back and forth between helping me plan the adoption and then threatening not to support it and to fight the adoption in court. Now that he has a new girlfriend, he seems to want very little to do with me and my pregnancy.

We are meeting with my adoption agency tonight at 5:30pm for him to hopefully sign his waiver of parental rights so I may continue to plan for my baby’s adoption into a two-parent Christian family. I am so anxious about seeing him, as I also plan to tell him I won’t be communicating with him directly anymore. If he wishes to be involved in the adoption and interact with the family I have chosen, my adoption specialist is happy to help him with this directly. I just can’t stick around and be his “friend” while he’s left me for someone else at my greatest time of need, carrying a baby we created together.

I know our relationship ending is a blessing in disguise and that God may be protecting me. I know my baby is a blessing from God, for the adoptive family if not for me. I know I need this time of being single and learning to rely in God instead of men. But right now, I am so low, alone, and heartbroken. I want to believe there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel, but it’s so hard right now.

Please pray for me.
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I am so sorry and am praying for you. I want to thank you so much for choosing life - you are a true blessing to that beautiful baby and God loves you so much.
 
Here’s a very big {{{HUG}}} so you know you’re not alone. And a prayer.

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen
 
I know it’s not easy being in this situation with no help. I’m so sorry. But, I’m also glad you are having your baby.
Jesus I trust in you. Please give this mother strength, faith, hope and love.
 
That must have been very difficult for you to share…(((hugs))).

Not one person has ever not made a mistake…we all make them and I more than most.
How wonderful you are having the baby and arranging adoption.I know this will be very difficult but God will bring you through this. Ultimately your child will be safe and loved with the new family and this give yiou the opportunity of a fresh start.

Have a chat with a priest about the possibility of annulment of your marriage.

I know it may not feel like it now but there is a bright future for you. You are granting a family the blessing of a child and you will have the oppportunity of moving forward in your own life.

You are an inspiration and you are in my prayers.
God bless

Lord please help lillies09 and grant her strength and courage as she copes with pregnancy feeling very alone.We have all made mistakes in life and I ask You would help our friend that she may feel comforted and know there is so much more to look forward to.Please bless lillies and the child she carries and we pray that the adoption will be uncomplicated and the adoptive family will enjoy the blessing of this child.Please guide the father of the child and all involved to do what is right for this child.Please bring people to lillies life who will help her move forward.Thankyou Lord for hearing our prayers Amen

Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
PATER NOSTER,
qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
 
I feel quite a bit of sympathy for you Lillies09. My heart goes out to you. :console:I have prayed for you.
 
Praying for you, liilies09! You are never alone, God is with you, carrying you through this situation. (((((HUGS)))))
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Your Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom
and the power
and the Glory for ever and ever.
Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena,
Dominus tecum,
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen
 
Love and prayers for you Lillies

Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Thank you all SO much for all your prayers. Things took a turn for the worse at one point during the meeting, and I really know your prayers helped a lot.

Shortly before I was to pick up my baby’s father to give him a ride to meeting, he texted to tell me he wouldn’t need a ride from me anymore, as his new girlfriend would be taking him. I had mentally prepared myself to see him this one last time and was pretty hurt that he cancelled last minute, and that he chose to involve his girlfriend of less than 2 weeks in our baby’s adoption. When he arrived to the meeting, he even called and said he may still need me to come to the meeting anyway – knowing she was there. We’ve been broken up less than 2 weeks and my heart is still very, very broken.

After calling me from the meeting telling me he wasn’t going to sign right now after all, sending me into a panic, and numerous phone calls with our adoption agency, my mom, etc. he finally signed about an hour later. I have assured him that if I was legally allowed to sign pre-birth I would too, and that although he is signing away his rights to parent our baby, I am not going to allow him to be “kicked out” of this process. I have told him he is welcome to work directly with our adoption agency and the adoptive family to build his own, separate relationship with them and our child in the future. I have been nothing but open and honest with him, begging him to watch adoption videos with me and be involved, and it hurt that my integrity means nothing to him.

But all in all, he signed, and I am so blessed and grateful. It’s going to be a rocky road ahead, but I am beginning to see a light at the end of this. I have written him a calm, kind letter from my heart explaining that I am not able to be “friends” during my pregnancy when he has left me for another woman – it is too emotionally and physically painful, for me and our baby. I hope he is someday able to understand my pain and that I am not trying to punish him in any way. He is an alcoholic and a drug addict and I do worry about him so much. I know signing his rights away must have been very difficult, despite not having an alternative (no job and a 2 past felonies that make finding work harder for him, he already has a child, he lives at home and can’t even tell his dad I’m pregnant or he’ll be kicked out, etc.). I am concerned for his well-being and that of his 2 year old son’s, now that they are practically living with his new girlfriend, who also seems to have problems with alcohol and drugs. I am so, so grateful my child will hopefully suffer less growing up with its adoptive family than he or she would with us.

Thank you all for listening and praying for me, during my time of great hurt and need. You are all in my prayers as well.

May God’s loving will be done.
 
Blessing to you for choosing LIFE and Quality of Life for your unborn child!

No one is perfect. We fall and we will rise again, stronger than before. You will too! 🙂
 
Dear Lillies how brave you are. (((Hugs))) love and prayers continue for you.
I am sorry you have had such a tough time and that the father of your child hurts you so much. God will bring you through all this hurt and you will come out stronger than ever with a bright future to look forward to.
God bless you

Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession and was left forsaken. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, a sorrowful sinner. Despise not my words, O Mother of the Word, but in your mercy, hear and answer me.
Amen

May God Bless and Keep you. know that you are loved and we all care about you. may you find peace and comfort. LIFE!
 
Lillie, you are really courageous,:hug1: I know God has beautiful plans for you, just trust in him no matter what. I think if you talk to a sister/priest about your situation they will help you for sure (it could be confession, counselling, talking to someone, spiritual guidance). Whenever I feel down, going through confession really helped me.
Just know that God loves you and your little one.

Most Divine, I pray for Lillie and her little baby, that you may always protect them with the comfort of Your love. I pray that you can grant Lillie the peace of mind, the strength to accept what has happened and the courage.
Mother Mary, Saint Gianna, Saint Maria Gorretti, Mother Teresa, Saint Philomena , Saint Agnes please intercede

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Your name
Your kingdom come your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
AMEN.

:crossrc:
 
Thank you sweet souls for all of your prayers, love, and encouragement during this painful, lonely time.
 
:hug1:Thank you so much for choosing life for your baby!:hug1:
You and your child are in my prayers - let us know if there is anything we can do.
Chloe M.
 
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