Pregnant and un-married

  • Thread starter Thread starter distressed1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Hi distressed–this is an interesting thread.

Were you both talking marriage before you had sex–before she became pregnant?
 
This is a very old thread and by now the baby must be here.
God bless the parents and the child.
 
I’m an adult male, and I will offer this:

First of all, I disagree with this practice of not marrying couples just because she is knocked up. How in the world can a Church cry about the plight of children who don’t grow up with both of their parents and then get in the way when the parents do right (assuming they are both eligible to be married)? OK, maybe I can see how when they are in high school they are immature, or if there is clear evidence of abuse or unfitness, but we do know that in this case they are in their 20s, and if there is evidence of abusiveness it should be brought forward or people should “zip da lip”. Whoever thought of this blanket policy needs to get their head examined.

**Besides, the men who knock women up need to be “taken off the streets”, so to speak, so that they don’t continue knocking up other women. **

QUOTE]

Norseman–your posts I typically agree with. But, what do you mean by ‘knocking’ women up? It’s a two way street. Men are not ‘knocking’ women up, and the women are asleep or something. And wake up…and poof…oh my gosh, how did I end up pregnant? No, if a woman willingly has sex with her bf, whatever…she is responsible for her actions, just like the man in question is. Getting pregnant just doesn’t happen, by men who are ‘knocking up’ women…it’s not magic or something. lol

I have never ever liked that phrase…‘getting a woman’ pregnant, or ‘knocking up a woman.’ It seems to render the notion that the woman who was voluntarily having sex with her bf, is somehow a victim or should not have the same responsibility. I don’t think you meant it this way, but just be cautious because that’s how that comes across.

Women and men who engage in premarital sex are not victims. They are responsible for their actions–equally.
 
Wonderful; now you’re a dad! Congratulations.

Now, it’s time to start acting like a man. You have a child to protect. I am not going to tell you to marry or not (I faced this decision myself and am happy with the choice I made - 10 kids later.) I am going to tell you, that if you are going to marry her, then do it. Don’t *****-foot around with parties and long lead up. Sorry, Charlie, that’s the right you forfeited when you made a baby.

Sure, it sounds harsh, but the fact is: you help to create a new life and that comes with responsibility and sacrifice. You may not get the big fancy wedding you wanted - tough. You may have to fight with embarrassment - tough. you may not get the “party” you wanted - tough.

You’re a dad now. The baby is still inside, but that doesn’t change the fact that you already are a father. You have a child to think of. If you are going to get married, then do it now and get the blessing of having a child born to married parents. If you are not going to get married, then talk about how the child will be raised.

You can’t eat your cake and have it too. Since the cake’s done 'et, your choices are more limited. That’s where the “be a man” part comes in. Embrace your sacrifice, embarrassment, disappointment, etc and face life together for and with this child.

My own little “whoops” of 26 years ago told me last week that I’m a grandfather. She and her husband are so thrilled - we all are. I look down at her little sister, all 9 months of age, and smile. Yes, there is disappointment, frustration, privation and sorrow. There’s also joy and amazing things you can’t even imagine.

Someday, I hope you can look down on your little girl and sing to her like I do (and have done for a quarter century) and laugh at the things that seemed important then.

Just remember, it takes a man to fill the role of daddy. Anyone with two minutes on their hands can be a father.

Man up.
 
Hello “distressed” and congratulations! What a miracle! God has given you two this gift and is giving you a push to organise your life together.

I suggest that whatever you do about a wedding you set money aside for the baby’s requirements. I thought that the anniversary big celebration was a great idea. Please choose a wedding option that is least stressful! Keep mum and baby happy and remember what is important.

Best wishes and prayers!
I agree:thumbsup:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top