Pregnant...at 46

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mother_of_five

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My husband and I have been married for 26 years and have 5 children from 23 to 4 years old. I have recently found out that I am pregnant for the 6th time. My husband is not happy to say the least. He is not able to support me. He feels embarrased and since we had our last baby 4 years ago he has heard all the unkind comments (meant to be funny???) at that time. I almost feel like we need to defend ourselves somehow. Please pray for us and if anyone has any defense type responses…I’d like to hear them. I don’t want to say anything unkind but would love to have some sort of comeback. Thanks for listening.
 
God Bless you! I would just tell people who ask or make comments that you feel blessed and that God obviously thinks you’re both great parents!

I was never able to have kids so mourn the loss alot these days. I would do just about anything to hold a little one in my arms.

Please see all the beautiful possibilities for the new little life you’ll soon bring into this world.

M
 
You could go with the wide-eyed innocent look: “We’re still not sure what causes this. We keep trying to figure it out.”

Or you could go with the mild surprise, “Oh, you don’t enjoy making love? We obviously do.”

Or the icy stare, “I beg your pardon? Did you just ask me if I meant to make love?”

I like the “We can’t figure out how it keeps happening” line. I’ve used it myself, and we’re only on #5. 🤷
 
I don’t have any good advice but want to congratulate you and will keep you and your family in my prayers. Children are a blessing my husband and I have not enjoyed and I envy your good fortune. It may not seem good fortune to you right now, but that little one is blessed to have a wonderful parents like you and your dh.
 
mother_of_five said:
My husband and I have been married for 26 years and have 5 children from 23 to 4 years old. I have recently found out that I am pregnant for the 6th time. My husband is not happy to say the least. He is not able to support me. He feels embarrased and since we had our last baby 4 years ago he has heard all the unkind comments (meant to be funny???) at that time. I almost feel like we need to defend ourselves somehow. Please pray for us and if anyone has any defense type responses…I’d like to hear them. I don’t want to say anything unkind but would love to have some sort of comeback. Thanks for listening.
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Congratulations!

Offering congratulations is the way people should respond when a married woman announces she’s pregnant. People sometimes forget their manners. Go ahead and remind them.
 
First off… congratulations! 🙂 I know it has to be scary on many levels, so my prayers are with you.
Sillara said:
You could go with the wide-eyed innocent look: “We’re still not sure what causes this. We keep trying to figure it out.”
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Sounds like a fabulous response! My grandmother (who had 9 children - 7 survived past age 2) used to say, “Well we just LOVED makin’ babies!”. I didn’t really appreciate the statement until I was older. 😉 😛
 
mother_of_five said:
My husband and I have been married for 26 years and have 5 children from 23 to 4 years old. I have recently found out that I am pregnant for the 6th time. My husband is not happy to say the least. He is not able to support me. He feels embarrased and since we had our last baby 4 years ago he has heard all the unkind comments (meant to be funny???) at that time. I almost feel like we need to defend ourselves somehow. Please pray for us and if anyone has any defense type responses…I’d like to hear them. I don’t want to say anything unkind but would love to have some sort of comeback. Thanks for listening.
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Well, it looks like you’ll have to change your forum name in about 9 months from now. All kidding aside, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I think there’re two issues here. One is having 6 children; the other is having a child at 46. Personally, I don’t think either is an issue. I’ve known people who come from larger families than that. As for the comments from other people, I would just tell them to mind their own business. Now having a baby at 46 is a tall order by any measure. I believe my aunt had a child at around that age, and they’re doing just fine.
 
You’ve gotten good advice on all but one subject.

Your biggest problem is your husband.

I’d look him in the eye and offer him alternatives:

Kill it.

Bear it in secret and sell it so that no one will know and tease him.

Bear the child and love it like the others.

Give one of the others away and keep the new one so he doesn’t have 6 kids instead of 5.

Quite frankly, if your husband would get his head screwed on straight you wouldn’t care what anyone else said. You’d sit around and laugh at those people and their thoughtless comments as you and your husband awaited the new blessing.

God has a plan for this child. And it’s not about your husband’s public image. I’m sorry he’s making this difficult for you. Pray for him to have a change of heart and to stop caring what men think and start recognizing God must trust him a lot to give him another child.

Congratulations. The best thing my parents did for me was give me lots of siblings. 20 years from now your child will be the one visiting him, not the jerks from the office. They’ll probably envy him then because he will have lots of kids and grandkids and family around.

Some of those unkind comments may be out of jealousy from other men who may be envious that your husband is still a studly kind of guy.

He’s got a few months to adjust his attitude. Kids are smart. He doesn’t want them to pick up on the “daddy didn’t want you” attitude.

You don’t need to defend yourself. Just smile and say “We love children. They’re such a gift.”

Stop and think what kind of comeback someone else would have to make to that not to sound like a selfish moron or a churl or like they kick puppies in their spare time.

I’ll pray for you.
 
I know it is scary. We have five kids (one in heaven) and the shock is always there. I know that I would feel the same way your husband does. But he will come around.

I also understand the embarrassment factor. My wife’s family is not Catholic (or really anything) so they don’t understand. I’ll pray for you guys!
If nothing else, you can point out to your husband that for next eight months or so, it would impossible to get you pregnant again 🙂
 
congratulations! what a blessing. there are so many women that would do anything to be fertile at 46. God has chosen you and your husband.

Your husband will come around. He’s just maybe worrying about finances and such too.

Think about all the free babysitting you’ll have this time 👍 The other poster is right, so many people will envy you guys in 20 years when you are all surrounded by love, grandkids and family while they are feeling alone and abandoned.

Tell your husband that he has a lot to look forward to in the future.

I hope I’m able to have a baby at 46 if I want to! Did you know that only 5% of women are able to get pregnant successfully at your age with no intervention? What a blessing!!!
 
Congratulations on such a blessings!

Alyce had 7 miscarriages before she gave up trying to have children.

Sheila has had 2 miscarriages and is now pregnant with her third and we are rooting for the little Cherub to make it all the way.

Michelle is trying and so far no luck.

Angela has had two miscarriages.

Maria had a miscarriage last week.

Could you please have your husband pray for these women who WANT children but for some reason are not able.
Thank you!

FONT]
 
mother_of_five said:
if anyone has any defense type responses…I’d like to hear them. I don’t want to say anything unkind but would love to have some sort of comeback.
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You look them straight in the eye and say “Thank you.” Then watch them squirm.
 
Congratulations!!!

Like Serap mentioned, it is very difficult for many women to conceive at 46, God has chosen you and your husband to receive this blessing, you must be very special people! 🙂

Are the comments you have to face from coworkers? Catholic people? Christians? Are they critical of your age, family size, both?

I am trying to figure out what could be said.

We get comments for having them close together, our 4th is due less than a month after our 5th anniversary, and comments for having “many”, even if we are only expecting our 4th. One thing I have learned is that knowing that we are doing what God is asking of us, that these kids where hand picked for us, and sent to us by God, that God doesn’t do anything by mistake, helps with the feeling of needing to defend ourselves. Sometimes that leads to just smile and ignore rude comments. Other times it might help answer something in a kind way, that might not be a snappy remark, but just something to let the people know this new blessing is loved and welcome in our family.

The people making these comments usually do it as a result of not understanding the value of children, lack of social skills, or both :), so keeping that in mind can help too!
 
First off congrats, my wife is 40 and our 7th child is on the way. Oh yes we get the comments. Everytime a guy ask me if I know what causes that, I quickly look him in the face with a BIG SMILE and say “IF YOUR WIFE GAVE YOU THE KIND OF SEX THAT MY WIFE DOES:D, YOU WOULD HAVE A DOZEN KIDS TOO” shuts them up everytime:eek:.
 
myownsins said:
First off congrats, my wife is 40 and our 7th child is on the way. Oh yes we get the comments. Everytime a guy ask me if I know what causes that, I quickly look him in the face with a BIG SMILE and say “IF YOUR WIFE GAVE YOU THE KIND OF SEX THAT MY WIFE DOES:D, YOU WOULD HAVE A DOZEN KIDS TOO” shuts them up everytime:eek:.
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:rotfl:

That’s great, but unfortunately she can’t use that one 😃
 
I look forward to the day when people would have reason to react to my growing number of chrildren.
I am 20 years younger than you but unfortunately have not been able to have any child (yet). I hope you and your husband will thank God for His great blessing and pray that some of this blessing comes to us who are struggling with subfertility.

Congratulations

A
PS am myself married to the youngest of 6 siblings. I am happy that he is around, everyday.
 
mother_of_five said:
My husband and I have been married for 26 years and have 5 children from 23 to 4 years old. I have recently found out that I am pregnant for the 6th time. My husband is not happy to say the least. He is not able to support me. He feels embarrased and since we had our last baby 4 years ago he has heard all the unkind comments (meant to be funny???) at that time. I almost feel like we need to defend ourselves somehow. Please pray for us and if anyone has any defense type responses…I’d like to hear them. I don’t want to say anything unkind but would love to have some sort of comeback. Thanks for listening.
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Congrats! While this would be actually difficult to say for me I have come close to using it for a couple of irritating people who griefed us after we got pregnant the 4th time. (was on an old CA thread).

He could say… “I guess I can’t help it, I just find my wife so attractive… I can see why you don’t have a lot of kids though” 👍

Yea it’s mean but it might someone shut up 🙂

At 46 though I can see your concern, I’ll definitely say a prayer that everything goes well!

Joe
 
I just wanted to wish you a great big CONGRATS:extrahappy: and let you know that I will be praying for your family and most especially your husband. You are truly blessed by the Lord!
 
First I want to offer you my congratulations on your new little one. Children are such a precious gift from God and He must think you and your DH are doing a wonderful job so He is giving you a new little blessing to love.

Men tend to worry about money and the like but I suspect he will come around by the time the baby arrives, they usually do.

But in the meantime I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
 
Congratulations!!! What a wonderful blessing…btw, that often shuts rude people up. When they say something rude about baby/age/# of children… just reply “God has truly blessed us and we couldn’t be happier”. It’s hard to continue to be rude to a happy person 😉
 
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