Pregnant...at 46

  • Thread starter Thread starter mother_of_five
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
mother_of_five said:
My husband and I have been married for 26 years and have 5 children from 23 to 4 years old. I have recently found out that I am pregnant for the 6th time. My husband is not happy to say the least. He is not able to support me. He feels embarrased and since we had our last baby 4 years ago he has heard all the unkind comments (meant to be funny???) at that time. I almost feel like we need to defend ourselves somehow. Please pray for us and if anyone has any defense type responses…I’d like to hear them. I don’t want to say anything unkind but would love to have some sort of comeback. Thanks for listening.
Click to expand...
First let me echo everyone else’s [SIGN]CONGRATULATIONS!!![/SIGN]

As for your husband, I guess I can see his perspective, but it’s not like you got pregnant by yourself…so…there’s that.

We live is such a selfish time. 🤷 I guess we could go on n’ on about the “why’s” of people’s behavior when it comes to accepting children, but I really think it boils down to selfishness. By the society’s standards, my family and I live a very simple existence. By my standards, I’m comfortable, and I have everything I need.

I’m in my mid-late 30’s, and when I told my mother I was expecting my 3rd child, her first reaction, and I kid you not, was, “Nooooo!!” Her tone of voice was as if I had just told her our house burned to the ground or something catestrophic had just occured. I think she realized how it must have sounded considering all you could hear on my end was the deafening silence of awkwardness. Realizing she’d obviously forgotten herself, she laughed (nervously), and finally managed to say “congratulations” and I think she might’ve thrown in a “well, my goodness!” or something along those lines. Then, a very good friend of my husband, and by extension, mine, felt it was her obligation to tell us how hard it was going to be with ***3 ***kids, and how crazy we were, and did we really think we were up for that? And yadda, yadda. Everywhere I turned, it seemed I ran into this attitude of, “Whoaa! 3 kids?! You’re outta control!” If it weren’t for the positive reactions from my husband’s family, I would’ve been totally crushed.

I don’t think there will ever be a way of having your feelings not hurt, especially by those that are close to you, like your husband. When our middle child was born, it was verrrry close to our 1st, and it was a “goof” on our charting our NFP. My husband was a lot more aloof during that pregnancy and it really hurt me. Like what some others have said to you, my husband was worried about finances and all the logistical stuff. But I guess that’s guy brain. He even fell asleep during my labor - there I was w/complete dead-leg from a failed epidural but feeling everything in my abdomin, and he’s over in the corner all curled up under a warm blanket just, zzzzz’ing away. But lo, ice-chips rained down like manna from the heavens, and he was much more involved after that. 😉

I suspect that your husband is worried about the same logistical/$$ stuff plus the age factor…thinking of retirement in the next 15 yrs or so maybe, only to now be realizing you’ll be starting all over with a new baby…it’s got to be a lot to take in. Give him some time. I would use humor to deal with it, too. Pleeease, for a man, there are a million come-backs he could use! 😃

As for you, just continue to pray for yourself, your precious baby and your husband. God will see you through this. He always does.
 
gardenswithkids said:
Congratulations!

Offering congratulations is the way people should respond when a married woman announces she’s pregnant. People sometimes forget their manners. Go ahead and remind them.
Click to expand...
No kidding!

We are 48 and have 3 kids 21, 17 & 12 year old and I (we) are talking about adopting.

Congrats!
 
I had my 8th boy at age 43, that was 2 years ago. We always get the comment, “are you trying for a girl? or Are you trying for a baseball team?”. I have grown very tired of those comments–how many people do they know have 8 children because they haven’t gotten their girl yet?

Here is a comeback for you—We put out such a good product that we couldn’t stop production yet.
Seriously though, how about just telling them that you feel blessed that God continues to trust you with such wonderful gifts.
 
jwatza said:
I had my 8th boy at age 43, that was 2 years ago. We always get the comment, “are you trying for a girl? or Are you trying for a baseball team?”. I have grown very tired of those comments–how many people do they know have 8 children because they haven’t gotten their girl yet?

Here is a comeback for you—We put out such a good product that we couldn’t stop production yet.
Seriously though, how about just telling them that you feel blessed that God continues to trust you with such wonderful gifts.
Click to expand...
We have five boys & we get those same comments ALL THE TIME!
Some people even say things like “oh you poor thing” when they ask if the baby is a girl and I tell them no. It’s just amazing what some people will say. :rolleyes:
 
First of all, let me add to the list of congratulations!! Now, I am not from a large family, but my mother had me when she was 36 (I’m 44 so back then that was considered a high risk pregnancy) and my father was 43 when I was born. He would get so angry when people would ask him if I was his granddaughter. But you know what??? So what!! I have a brother 17 years older than I am, a sister 15 years older and another brother 5 years older. How’s that for a stretch?! People can say stupid things, hun, ignore them and revel in your new bundle of joy.

I will be praying for your family.
 
Well, I can’t really give any help (only child and single) but just thought I stop by and say congratulations!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top