Pregnant, not married

[AClaire11]

Have you discussed marriage with your boyfriend? I’m wondering because you said he wants to “be with” you, and that does not necessarily mean marriage. If he seems unwilling or reluctant, don’t push him into it. That will only lead to worse trouble later.

This is a crucial time for you. You need to make the decision that’s best for you AND the baby. You must be so worried and stressed out! :hug3: Don’t rush into a decision. Talk to the priest, to your boyfriend, and to your family. Think about how much you want him involved in the child’s life if you don’t end up marrying.

Praying for you!

 

[kittyplant]

Have you discussed marriage with your boyfriend? I’m wondering because you said he wants to “be with” you, and that does not necessarily mean marriage. If he seems unwilling or reluctant, don’t push him into it. That will only lead to worse trouble later.

This is a crucial time for you. You need to make the decision that’s best for you AND the baby. You must be so worried and stressed out! :hug3: Don’t rush into a decision. Talk to the priest, to your boyfriend, and to your family. Think about how much you want him involved in the child’s life if you don’t end up marrying.

Praying for you!

Thank you. I think the key thing for me is not to rush things, youre right. I hope God leads the way for me and baby.

 

[joshvanrad]

This situation definitely would be a pain in the *** for sure.

Pray pray pray. Meet with a priest. And talk with your boyfriend about as much as you can.

If it were me in this position, I’d move back to where my family is. They can become quite the asset in times like this.

 

[LittleRose]

He says … that i could raise baby catholic but that he would tell our child his opinions about why he doesnt go to church etc if he/she asks. also i do not see him complying with nfp, dont see how that would work…

I commend your BF for his honesty on the issue of how to raise the child. Now there are some things to consider in light of this:

If he marries you in the Church, part of his vows will include a promise to raise your children Catholic. It doesn’t sound like he is ready to do this. It isn’t fair to him to ask him to make a vow he doesn’t believe in and won’t be able to keep.

If he’s not on board with NFP, you will also have a problem. There are tons of threads on this forum full of spouses who are suffering severely in their marriages because their spouses are unwilling to embrace church teaching on this issue. Read them to see if that is something you are willing to live with.

These are things you need to consider very carefully. Others here have said that in your decision about marriage, you need to do what you would do if the baby were not a factor. It is great that he wants to be involved with his child. He can do that regardless of your decision about marriage.

For now, the most important thing is to take care of yourself and the baby, and don’t pressure yourself into a decision about whether to marry him or not.

 

[Catholic1954]

You don’t sound ready to marry this guy, yet. Right now, you two should be talking. And talking. And talking. And talking some more. Keep your appointments next week with Social Services; they will be able to help you sort out your feelings (they go a little nuts when you are pregnant!) and help you decide WHAT IS BEST FOR THE BABY, the #1 priority in your life right now. Everything will work out; God has a way of doing that!