Pregnant Wifr

[pensmama87]

The hold CompSciGuy mentioned is wonderful. My husband uses another one where the baby is tucked in/under him arm like a football. At first it requires two hands because newborns are pretty floppy , but he can do it with our almost 3 month old using one arm now. We call it the “magic baby hold.”

One thing we’ve learned after three babies is that if I want a break from holding/nursing, I need to be in another room. If baby can smell me or hear my voice, Daddy won’t do, but if I’m elsewhere in the house, he’s much more likely to go for Daddy snuggles.

Also, listen to and respect your wife’s wishes re: pregnancy and delivery. That doesn’t mean you can’t have concerns but listen to her and hear her out. My husband was very, very worried about my wanting to birth at a local center rather than a hospital. He was picturing a dirty place with untrained people who didn’t wash their hands, but he still agreed to go to an orientation and they were able to answer his concerns. When I ended up being transferred due to complications in my first labor, he did not say “I told you so,” and I then went to have two more deliveries at that center.

(I tend toward crunchiness, but your wife may not and that’s fine - just illustrating a point about communication.)

 

[Anglewannabe]

I never had kids but I heard to make sure the baby seat is installed in the car well before the due date. There is nothing worse than bringing a newborn home from the hospital and getting into an argument in the parking lot on how to install the seat

 

[Horton]

My wife is pregnant

Of course I am going through the full range of emotions related to having a first child of excitement, worry, and general freak out. Of course I am very nervous about the whole thing but we are ready. It took three years of trying but it has finally happened.

From those of yall with more experience what are the best things to do to prepare (other than the obvious of finding a good doctor, etc…) Specifically what are the best things an expectant dad can do?

Learn to change a diaper and fix a bottle.

 

[Allegra]

I never had kids but I heard to make sure the baby seat is installed in the car well before the due date. There is nothing worse than bringing a newborn home from the hospital and getting into an argument in the parking lot on how to install the seat

Most hospitals provide assistance with carseat installation. The children’s hospital where my daughter had her spine surgery had a safety checkpoint in the parking garage where you had to stop and they offered to do a check on your installation job

 

[Anglewannabe]

Most hospitals provide assistance with carseat installation. The children’s hospital where my daughter had her spine surgery had a safety checkpoint in the parking garage where you had to stop and they offered to do a check on your installation job

I suspect you live in the states. I live in Canada and this is what I heard. But, I agree, that would be a great service for a hospital to provide

 

[EasterJoy]

My OB/GYN advised we go out to evenings of sitting quietly–concerts, long leisurely meals at restaurants–as soon as my appetite allowed and before I got to six months. Once you get so big, that isn’t nearly so comfortable. After the baby comes, things won’t be quite the same ever again. Not worse, but never quite the same. He was absolutely right. Wave goodbye to the old normal, sing a little Auld Lang Syne to it, and away to your next exciting phase of life.

Our kids are 16, and every age has been more enjoyable than the last. Welcome to parenthood! Hold on tight, but expect a trip you’d never miss for anything!

The other thing I’d say is to realize when you hold your baby (or babies) for the first time that you are holding the sapling of a man or the sapling of a woman. That exact person will be your adult son or adult daughter. A baby is not an adult, but some day an adult will know they are exactly that person you held that first moment!

 

[Kelfa28]

Most hospitals provide assistance with carseat installation. The children’s hospital where my daughter had her spine surgery had a safety checkpoint in the parking garage where you had to stop and they offered to do a check on your installation job

This.

But also, your local fire and police departments should have personnel trained in car seat inspections.

I know because I was one.

Usually, if it’s a big department someone is there who is trained and you can just drive up and have the guys take a look at it. Otherwise, just call and make an appointment.

Remember, DO NOT buy a used car seat, ever. Always buy new. You have no idea what that car seat has been through and car seats over 6 years old need to be replaced anyway. Car seats that have been in an accident are totally unserviceable and you’ll need to buy another one. Hospitals won’t let you leave without a new one even if it was a minor crash and everyone was checked out fine.
Think about how many used car seats were in minor crashes but no one went to the hospital and the family just kept using it.

Keep the kiddo reversed for awhile. We never go by the so-called 1 year requirement because I think weight is way more important then age.

Weight requirement is 30 pounds…which none of my girls were anywhere close to at age 1.

One last suggestion.

Invest in a pregnancy pillow for your wife. Best thing I ever bought for myself to sleep while pregnant. It gets a little ridiculous around the 5-6 month mark.

 

[Horton]

With all the warnings and advice on here I’m somewhat surprised my kids survived. I say that a little tongue in cheek but…

To the OP - The best thing you can do for your kids long term is to be a dad. Participate in their lives and get along with their mother. Parents have muddled through raising kids for thousands of years. It’s ok to not get it perfect regardless what you read on the internet. Back in the old days, 25-30 years ago, we did it without the internet.

 

[Kelfa28]

With all the warnings and advice on here I’m somewhat surprised my kids survived. I say that a little tongue in cheek but…

To the OP - The best thing you can do for your kids long term is to be a dad. Participate in their lives and get along with their mother. Parents have muddled through raising kids for thousands of years. It’s ok to not get it perfect regardless what you read on the internet. Back in the old days, 25-30 years ago, we did it without the internet.

Yeah, but car seats are not something you mess with.

There are laws about them in every single state and you will be violating the law if you disregard car seat advice.
No more piling kids in the station wagon and letting kids ride in the very back or up in the platform of the back window. No more putting kids in your lap.

You need new car seats and a car/van that can accommodate them all. Kids will be in a car/booster seat until they are well into elementary school, sometimes way longer.

Wonder one reason why I’m not going beyond three kids? When we found out we were pregnant with our third baby we needed to buy a van and do it within 9 months.
We needed a vehicle that can accommodate three car seats, a bucket seat and two convertibles.

You will end up on the internet doing research on very real safety concerns that are now the law in most states.

Standard procedure in every hospital now is you have a car seat that the staff checks out before you go home with the baby. Some hospitals escort you out to see the car and seat situation before they let you go home.

Same thing with cribs…never buy a used crib…the drop down sides are dangerous and you need one that has a certain width between the rails.

Being a dad now means you don’t always wing it because you couldbe putting the baby’s safety at risk.

 

[Horton]

Yeah, but car seats are not something you mess with.

There are laws about them in every single state and you will be violating the law if you disregard car seat advice.
No more piling kids in the station wagon and letting kids ride in the very back or up in the platform of the back window. No more putting kids in your lap.

You need new car seats and a car/van that can accommodate them all. Kids will be in a car/booster seat until they are well into elementary school, sometimes way longer.

Wonder one reason why I’m not going beyond three kids? When we found out we were pregnant with our third baby we needed to buy a van and do it within 9 months.
We needed a vehicle that can accommodate three car seats, a bucket seat and two convertibles.

You will end up on the internet doing research on very real safety concerns that are now the law in most states.

Standard procedure in every hospital now is you have a car seat that the staff checks out before you go home with the baby. Some hospitals escort you out to see the car and seat situation before they let you go home.

Same thing with cribs…never buy a used crib…the drop down sides are dangerous and you need one that has a certain width between the rails.

Being a dad now means you don’t always wing it because you couldbe putting the baby’s safety at risk.

Like I said, it’s a miracle my kids survived with all I didn’t know about ensuring their safety. I’m surprised anyone allowed us to have kids without the internet.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Like I said, it’s a miracle my kids survived with all I didn’t know about ensuring their safety. I’m surprised anyone allowed us to have kids without the internet.

At one time in history, we didn’t know about the germ theory of disease, and yet many people survived. Doesn’t mean we should ditch these silly new-fangled notions about handwashing and sterile environments for medical procedures.

One of the cool things about humanity is our ability to build upon previous knowledge and utilize the results. Plenty of kids will be fine without carseats. Plenty of kids will be fine riding their bikes without helmets. Plenty of kids will be fine without having cuts washed and antibiotic ointment applied. Plenty of kids won’t develop scarlet fever/permanent heart damage/et all from not getting antibiotics when they have strep throat. That doesn’t mean that the wise thing to do is to ignore modern knowledge and progress just because it’s modern: more kids will be fine with properly-installed carseats, just like more kids will be fine with helmets, cleaned wounds, and correctly-prescribed antibiotics.