I may not have kids but I can relate to ‘If this is God’s will why is it so hard?’. God made me intelligent and gave me to opportunity to be educated, yet, I am constantly being downsized. Sure my finances are hard and I sometimes secretly am jealous of all the woman who can live with a man to save on rent and not feel any moral dilemma. And I can relate to having an anxiety disorder. However, PLEASE persevere in faith. Please keep prayingBut if this is where god wants me to be, why make it so difficult to enjoy? .
You have no business taking another human’s life. That is what we are talking about right? Its not up to you. It never was. God gives life and God takes life. You are not God. Reaching out for assistance is your only option. Life can very hard at times but it gets better. My mother was a teenager, people said had no business having a baby, her parents kicked her out on the street -but she had baby and she gave it up for adoption. She didn’t take my life, she gave me a life. You have another human being inside you -that person did nothing to deserve a death sentence. If my mother had listened to those voices and killed me she would have taken my life, my daughter’s life and my daughter’s future children’s lives. Its God’s plan not ours. You can do this. God knows.This is something I would say to someone in my situation as well but unfortunately, I don’t think I can do it. I know it’s wrong. I know it. I feel it in my heart. But, things are too stressful. My panic disorder is back in full force with all the hormones and the financial stress. We have no business having a baby right now. It’s just a very unfair situation.
My husband would never agree to an adoption. Is it fair to bring a child into the world that you cannot handle nor support financially? I don’t think it is… I know it’s wrong but so is giving this child a life full of struggling.You have no business taking another human’s life. That is what we are talking about right? Its not up to you. It never was. God gives life and God takes life. You are not God. Reaching out for assistance is your only option. Life can very hard at times but it gets better. My mother was a teenager, people said had no business having a baby, her parents kicked her out on the street -but she had baby and she gave it up for adoption. She didn’t take my life, she gave me a life. You have another human being inside you -that person did nothing to deserve a death sentence. If my mother had listened to those voices and killed me she would have taken my life, my daughter’s life and my daughter’s future children’s lives. Its God’s plan not ours. You can do this. God knows.
Adoption isn’t a choice because my husband won’t sign. In my state it’s illegal without spouses consent. So no, adoption isn’t a choice.It took us almost EIGHT years to get pregnant with our FIRST child…who died shortly after we found out. We would be ECSTATIC to adopt your child, and so would countless other couples who stand on waiting lists for years or even decades to finally receive the gift of a child. I cannot believe you would rather KILL the child through abortion than allow the child to LIVE through adoption. So, your husband doesn’t agree to adoption, this is YOUR child too and trust me, being the sibling of one aborted baby and the aunt of 2, you do NOT want to go there. The pain and grief you will suffer for the REST OF YOUR LIFE will be far worse than anything imaginable than welcoming a new child into your less than ideal circumstances. Get those thoughts out of your head NOW! Abortion is NOT an option…PERIOD!
I cannot believe that your husband would prefer to KILL a child, his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD, than allow it to LIVE in less than ideal circumstances. If he is, then the problem is HIM and NOT YOUR baby. He cannot drag you into the abortion clinic, you can leave and seek shelter elsewhere. There is help and hope available to get YOU and YOUR BABY through this ALIVE, regardless of what your husband wishes.Adoption isn’t a choice because my husband won’t sign. In my state it’s illegal without spouses consent. So no, adoption isn’t a choice.
Well, I am the one who pushed so hard for him to stop withdrawing, convincing him I knew my fertile days. I was doing well until the holidays, ONE slip up, here we are. He’s never said it but I’m sure he blames me for this. He doesn’t agree with either choice, but he definitely won’t sign for adoption.I cannot believe that your husband would prefer to KILL a child, his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD, than allow it to LIVE in less than ideal circumstances. If he is, then the problem is HIM and NOT YOUR baby. He cannot drag you into the abortion clinic, you can leave and seek shelter elsewhere. There is help and hope available to get YOU and YOUR BABY through this ALIVE, regardless of what your husband wishes.
I am so happy for you to spread the good news of being open to life during sex. I know it has to be really hard to have good fertility, especially under not so good circumstances. But it IS a gift, despite how much a curse it may seem. Regardless, killing your precious child will not solve anything. If your husband is blaming you for being fertile and conceiving a child (that he had 50% to do with creating) then that is his problem. It isn’t your child’s. Your child did not do anything wrong. He does not deserve death. PERIOD.Well, I am the one who pushed so hard for him to stop withdrawing, convincing him I knew my fertile days. I was doing well until the holidays, ONE slip up, here we are. He’s never said it but I’m sure he blames me for this. He doesn’t agree with either choice, but he definitely won’t sign for adoption.
No, he wouldn’t agree to that either. Sadly, I made my appointment already. :’(I am so happy for you to spread the good news of being open to life during sex. I know it has to be really hard to have good fertility, especially under not so good circumstances. But it IS a gift, despite how much a curse it may seem. Regardless, killing your precious child will not solve anything. If your husband is blaming you for being fertile and conceiving a child (that he had 50% to do with creating) then that is his problem. It isn’t your child’s. Your child did not do anything wrong. He does not deserve death. PERIOD.
Have you considered a situation of temporary foster care? You can even have some friend or family member do it. Maybe some nice family at church? That way the child will still be completely yours and you can receive your child back into your home anytime when you feel the circumstances are a little better.
Killing your child is not the answer. You can stop thinking those thoughts NOW!
You mad your APPOINTMENT. You have NOT killed your child yet. I have read some of your other threads, your HUSBAND is the problem, NOT your baby and despite what your husband says, YOU HAVE THE ULTIMATE RIGHT OVER THAT CHILD BEING ITS MOTHER. Leave your husband if necessary…seek catholic social services support. Let your child LIVE! PLEASE!No, he wouldn’t agree to that either. Sadly, I made my appointment already. :’(
Your baby has a heartbeat. You will be stopping a beating thriving heart! I was 5wks 5days when I first saw our precious little one alive and thriving with a heartbeat to prove it.I feel like if I don’t go, I am going to regret it. I found out early, I’m only 5 weeks …
As for my marriage, I have thought about leaving him, but, I have 4 children with this man, no job, no education, no money, I wouldn’t be able to support my kids alone. I didn’t grow up with both parents, I always wanted my kids to.
And if you go, you will regret it.I feel like if I don’t go, I am going to regret it. I found out early, I’m only 5 weeks …
As for my marriage, I have thought about leaving him, but, I have 4 children with this man, no job, no education, no money, I wouldn’t be able to support my kids alone. I didn’t grow up with both parents, I always wanted my kids to.
Very sorry to upset you. Is there anyway I can delete this thread?You refuse to look for help. I gave you an 800 number and there is plenty more out there. My daughter volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center, they can help you with food, clothes, child care. But you won’t take it. Its easier to kill your child. I can’t stomach this thread anymore. I feel tremendous grief for that child who is defenseless and innocent.
I have had time to really take it in. Between breaking up the fights around here, constantly repeating myself, constant non stop cleaning, feeling unappreciated, morning sickness and crying. I know that if I were my pregnant right now my situation would still be the same. However, I am. And now it’s only going to make matters worse. I am completely disgusted by the idea of abortion but now I realize how hypocritical I have been. In a perfect world, babies would be the ideal. But this isn’t a perfect world we live in. There is homelessness, emotions, instability, lack of finances, lack of education. I don’t know why I have been put in this situation and I feel like a complete fool for coercing my husband into not withdrawing beause I was trying to build a deeper connection with God. Silly me to believe that he would recognize our struggle right now. Instead, he allows a baby to be conceived. I am completely unhappy. I know money isn’t everything but without it, how can I care for my kids? It’s impossible. If it’s his will for me to be a mom to multiple children (no objections) then why make it so hard?!! Why? I just don’t get it. We have no money right now. I am stressed out 98% of the day. Battling panic disorder and OCD with having things in order. My emotions are spilling out now. It’s completely obvious how stressed I am even to my kids. I can not do this. I can’t.First off, the posters on this thread need to stop insulting the OP’s husband. She has said that he would not support adoption or abortion. The abortion is not his idea and he is not pressuring her. Stop making him out to be a monster, because women who feel alone and like they don’t have support are more likely to get abortions, not less.
Secondly, to the OP, you are 5 weeks pregnant. That is virtually no time at all to digest this new information. It’s no surprise that you are shocked and scared, let yourself feel those things for awhile, you may find that after a little while you are more at peace with the idea.
As for abortion. Here’s something to think about: Many places ask you “Have you ever had any moral or religious objections to abortion?” How are you going to answer? Would you say “Yes, in fact, I was so pro-life last month that I insisted that my husband not pull out so that we could be open to children?” If you tell them that, there’s a good chance you’ll be referred to a counselor to see if you are emotionally able to handle an abortion. And even if they don’t ask, or even if they do ask and you lie to them, you cannot lie to yourself. The fact that a few weeks ago you felt that strongly is an indication that in a few more, once the shock wears off, you’ll feel that pro-life again.
If you get an abortion now, chances are it would be done with RU-486, or Mifepristone, which essentially induces a miscarriage by blocking progesterone. This drug is generally used up to 9 weeks of pregnancy, but some states limit it to 7. You are at 5 weeks now. You still have time to think, consider, explore options, look for help, and build some cooperation with your husband before you would have to resort to a surgical abortion. No harm can come from waiting. Waiting will allow you to really consider the things I mentioned in the previous paragraph, and give you some more time to come to terms with the pregnancy. If after waiting, you decide not to do it, I think you’ll be grateful. If after waiting you still decide to do it, then at least you gave yourself some time and space to get your mind and emotions worked out.