Pregnant

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:crying: You are just making me sad.

I have medically diagnosed OCD. I understand the need for order and having things go your way. But to KILL a CHILD so YOU can have a cleaner more orderly house? LORD HAVE MERCY! As Mother Teresa used to say “It’s a POVERTY to say that your child must DIE so that you can live as you wish.” Your house is ALREADY a mess and your life disordered and you are taking that out on your CHILD who hasn’t set foot in your house? It isn’t HIS fault that YOUR life is a mess! 😦

Tell you what, I will take your currently living children and slaughter them all, then you can have your perfect happy go lucky life. :rolleyes: That’s what you are about to do to one of your LIVING children. Do you GET that? You will be KILLING a child, YOUR child.

Again, the moment you go through with this you will be excommunicated from the Catholic Church, ready to give that up to? What about faith for your other children? If your excommunicated what will that mean for them?

I feel sorry for your husband, who said he doesn’t agree with abortion, your children, and most of all YOU! I feel so very sorry that you believe murder is acceptable, murder of your own flesh and blood. 😦

ABORTION IS NEVER EVER EVER AN OPTION…PERIOD! Save yourself and your immortal soul by allowing your child to LIVE.

ABORTION STOPS A BEATING HEART ❤️
 
Of course you can’t do this alone. No one can. I am sure in the past you have helped others, now it is your turn to accept help. You say that you feel that God is not helping you. You must remember the story of the man who drowned in a flood because he refused help from a someone in a boat, then someone in a helicopter, telling the rescuers that God was going to save him. After he died, he asked God why he didn’t save him, and God answered that he sent the people in the boat and in the helicopter, what else did he want. Please go see your pastor and explain your situation. I guarantee that he will find help for you. Help is not just for other people, it is for you too. Please don’t make a mistake that you will regret forever because you didn’t want to ask for help. All of us are praying for you. Just because you made an appointment doesn’t mean that you have to keep it. I am 66 years old, believe me things get better.
 
TSB4 said:
I have had time to really take it in. Between breaking up the fights around here, constantly repeating myself, constant non stop cleaning, feeling unappreciated, morning sickness and crying. I know that if I were my pregnant right now my situation would still be the same. However, I am. And now it’s only going to make matters worse. I am completely disgusted by the idea of abortion but now I realize how hypocritical I have been. In a perfect world, babies would be the ideal. But this isn’t a perfect world we live in. There is homelessness, emotions, instability, lack of finances, lack of education. I don’t know why I have been put in this situation and I feel like a complete fool for coercing my husband into not withdrawing beause I was trying to build a deeper connection with God. Silly me to believe that he would recognize our struggle right now. Instead, he allows a baby to be conceived. I am completely unhappy. I know money isn’t everything but without it, how can I care for my kids? It’s impossible. If it’s his will for me to be a mom to multiple children (no objections) then why make it so hard?!! Why? I just don’t get it. We have no money right now. I am stressed out 98% of the day. Battling panic disorder and OCD with having things in order. My emotions are spilling out now. It’s completely obvious how stressed I am even to my kids. I can not do this. I can’t.
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FULL DISCLOSURE: I am vehemently pro-choice, but I do NOT think that you should get an abortion. (For the reasons I outlined earlier.)

However, to me, this does not make sense on a basic, logical, level. Here is what I would say to you if we shared the same beliefs, and I think it’s worth reading:

So let me get this straight: You went so far as to insist that your husband give up his idea of a safety net so that you could be open to god’s will and trust him? But now that you are having a child you think that he made a mistake? You’re saying that the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE has no idea what you’re going through? That somehow he is just incapable of understanding?

He knows far more than you. He knows everything! He knows what your familial and financial situation will be tomorrow, you do not. He knows if you will win the lottery, get a new job, find an awesome housecleaning service, etc.

NFP is not something you use to bargain with God. God doesn’t work that way. You don’t follow god’s will on the condition that he does what you want him to do, and you do not rescind your loyalty and obedience when he allows things to happen that you do not understand. That’s not genuine faith, devotion, or trust, and those three things are at the core of this problem.
 
After a short talk with my husband and soul searching, I have decided against having an abortion. I could never brin myself to doing it with my previous children. I never healed from the one I was forced Into as a teenager (I had no choice) and I can’t do it again. I am very muh against abortion and I know I couldn’t handle it. I would probably go To the appointment and walk out. I’ve cried multiple times today looking at my children, kissing them and telling them I love them multiple times. I am just extremely frustrated at our financial circumstances right now. It makes me crazy and think irrationally. I know subconsciously and consciously that abortion is not an option. I just need allot of prayer. Allot. I am trying to get excited about this baby, but without money, health insurance, and other things in order, it’s making things very very difficult.
 
Marysann said:

“Please go see your pastor and explain your situation. I guarantee that he will find help for you. Help is not just for other people, it is for you too. Please don’t make a mistake that you will regret forever because you didn’t want to ask for help. All of us are praying for you.”

Yes!

Pregnant ladies are often not quite themselves with regard to moods and emotions. Give yourself some time, be easy on yourself, and do the minimum to get through the day.

Don’t feel bad if your kids watch a bunch of videos or doing something else mindless for the next week or so. This is an emergency, and you need a break. It will keep your house cleaner, too.

TSB4 said:

“If it’s his will for me to be a mom to multiple children (no objections) then why make it so hard?!! Why? I just don’t get it. We have no money right now. I am stressed out 98% of the day. Battling panic disorder and OCD with having things in order. My emotions are spilling out now. It’s completely obvious how stressed I am even to my kids. I can not do this. I can’t.”

You can do this, because there’s no other option, aside from killing your youngest child.

Talk to your therapist (if you have one) as soon as you can.
 
TSB4 said:

“After a short talk with my husband and soul searching, I have decided against having an abortion.”

Very good.

“I could never brin myself to doing it with my previous children. I never healed from the one I was forced Into as a teenager (I had no choice) and I can’t do it again. I am very muh against abortion and I know I couldn’t handle it. I would probably go To the appointment and walk out. I’ve cried multiple times today looking at my children, kissing them and telling them I love them multiple times. I am just extremely frustrated at our financial circumstances right now. It makes me crazy and think irrationally. I know subconsciously and consciously that abortion is not an option. I just need allot of prayer. Allot. I am trying to get excited about this baby, but without money, health insurance, and other things in order, it’s making things very very difficult.”

You don’t need to get excited yet, just to accept the situation.

Look into your state’s Medicaid set-up. There is a special version of Medicaid for expectant mothers.

medicaid.gov/Medicaid-CHIP-Program-Information/By-Population/Pregnant-Women/Pregnant-Women.html

That website says that Medicaid pays for 40% of births in the US.

"States have the option to extend Medicaid coverage to pregnant women up to or over 185% and most states have done so. In addition, some states have medically needy programs, which allow pregnant women with incomes above the medically needy income threshold to spend down to eligibility if their health care expenses are sufficiently high.

"Once eligibility is established, pregnant women remain eligible for Medicaid through the end of the calendar month in which the 60th day after the end of the pregnancy falls, regardless of any change in family income.

“Infants born to pregnant women who are receiving Medicaid for the date of delivery are automatically eligible for Medicaid (known as “deemed newborns”). Medicaid eligibility continues until the child’s first birthday and citizenship documentation is not required.”

Obamacare is in flux right now, but you may wish to look into what subsidies are available to families in your situation. I haven’t read the whole thread (just this page), but it’s very likely that with a family your size, you qualify for a health insurance subsidy of some sort, even if you can’t get Medicaid.

Best wishes!
 
TSB4 said:
After a short talk with my husband and soul searching, I have decided against having an abortion. I could never brin myself to doing it with my previous children. I never healed from the one I was forced Into as a teenager (I had no choice) and I can’t do it again. I am very muh against abortion and I know I couldn’t handle it. I would probably go To the appointment and walk out. I’ve cried multiple times today looking at my children, kissing them and telling them I love them multiple times. I am just extremely frustrated at our financial circumstances right now. It makes me crazy and think irrationally. I know subconsciously and consciously that abortion is not an option. I just need allot of prayer. Allot. I am trying to get excited about this baby, but without money, health insurance, and other things in order, it’s making things very very difficult.
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I wish I could come sit and have a cup of coffee and a nice long heart to heart with you. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so overwhelmed, and that you’ve experienced and abortion in the past that you haven’t been able to heal from.

These years with many small children are so difficult. On my tough days, I like to imagine our family 10, 20, 30 years in the future - think of how much love you’ll be surrounded by then. Think of how it will all multiply when all of these babies that you are lovingly bringing into the world grow up to have babies of their own. I just know that it’s all worth it.

Have you ever spoken with a priest about your past abortion, and your panic disorder and OCD? Do you have a counselor? Or maybe even some spiritual direction could help. I think that the issues you’re facing have less to do with cleaning and breaking up fights (although I certainly do sympathize with you there!), and more to do with underlying issues that need to be addressed for you to start healing and moving forward in life.

Best of luck and please know that I will be keeping your family in my prayers.
 
I finally read the whole thread.

TSB4 said:

“I know it’s wrong but so is giving this child a life full of struggling.”

The good news is that this is the only life your kids know–your current life is normal to them. My parents had three kids before they ever owned a new sofa and I was a 7th grader before my dad got a reasonably reliable seasonal job rather than just hustling at different self-employment gigs (and my parents were 50-something before they were ever prosperous). They moved us into a house they were building once the roof was on and then spent the next five years working on it before they just kind of stopped when it was about 95% done. But you know what–it was OK. We played together, worked on a tree house, tried unsuccessfully to dam a creek, worked on the farm, etc. The childhood me had a blast. The adult me looks back and wonders, why did you guys have to be so poor?

We kids were basically OK. On the other hand, I’m so glad I’m not in my mom’s shoes. My mom moved into an unfinished house with a 3rd grader, a preschooler and a new baby. Initially, there wasn’t any functioning plumbing (we’d just stroll out into the woods to answer the call of nature–not fun at night for a 3rd grader!), the kitchen wasn’t done yet, and cooking was done on a hot plate. For us kids, it was an adventure, but I kind of wonder what it was like for my mom.

So, that’s all to say that I don’t think that your kids will be harmed by your financial struggles. You are the person who is suffering the most from the financial situation, because you are the adult and you have to figure out how to make it work. The kids are just along for the ride.

Don’t be embarrassed about looking into both private charitable assistance and government assistance. You’re not going to need it forever, and when things improve, you will be able to contribute to those charities that gave you a helping hand when you needed it.

Best wishes! .
 
TSB4 said:
After a short talk with my husband and soul searching, I have decided against having an abortion. I could never brin myself to doing it with my previous children. I never healed from the one I was forced Into as a teenager (I had no choice) and I can’t do it again. I am very muh against abortion and I know I couldn’t handle it. I would probably go To the appointment and walk out. I’ve cried multiple times today looking at my children, kissing them and telling them I love them multiple times. I am just extremely frustrated at our financial circumstances right now. It makes me crazy and think irrationally. I know subconsciously and consciously that abortion is not an option. I just need allot of prayer. Allot. I am trying to get excited about this baby, but without money, health insurance, and other things in order, it’s making things very very difficult.
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Praise God! I am SO happy to hear this great news! :extrahappy:

I am so very sorry you had been forced into abortion as a teenager. :console: The pain and agony you must have felt (and continue to feel) from that tragedy are unimaginable save what I’ve learned through conversations with my mother and sister who both went through this agony as well. 😦

I know you are going to be blessed in this life and in the life to come for choosing life for your precious baby! ❤️

You are guaranteed my continued thoughts and prayers. Thank you, THANK YOU for choosing to give your baby life! :hug3:

Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you! God bless you and your sweet baby, your husband and all of your sweet children. 🙂
 
TSB4 said:
No, he wouldn’t agree to that either. Sadly, I made my appointment already. :’(
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I can’t hold my thoughts anymore. Woman up! What I see is a dark-minded, evil-guided, blind and pessimistic selfish woman. God will never give you a cross you can’t carry. If you don’t want to carry your cross out of love, then at least carry it out of fear. You are not from this world, you are a daughter of God, a princess, have you forgotten? Wait until you are standing there face to face with the Lord Himself, He probably will say that He talked to you through us, but you rather spit on Him and chose the easy way, is that how you sanctify yourself? Abandoning or Killing your baby is saying no to God’s will. I wouldn’t want to spend all eternity in hell. Abortion is MURDER because it’s the killing of an innocent. Enough. Woman up. Come to the light and see with the eys of Christ, SEE you are being attacked by Satan himself! !!
 
You have your husband with you and thats a huge support. Im 50 and had 8 childrwn and with my fifst 2 we nearly went bankrupt and looking back that llesson was to accept charity which I didn’t have to pay back. Done job pride gone. Ive lost my home but my husband and I still together with more children and we have got better and better off and hopeful y about to buy house this year. Im 50 and ive had to wait…but things def improve but had to learn to receive and not expect to be on top all the time. When your 50 you will have great empathy for the poor cos youve been there and thats what jesus did. Im praying everyday on thw rosary for you and your finances. Love your honesty. Love you. Keep going we did
 
why do you have to be excited? I mean, it’s ok to just be normal/yourself and go about your day. The days will take care of themselves.
 
Dear TSB4, I am so glad to hear that you have decided to choose life. So many people have been praying for you. I also aplaud your courage in posting in the first place. I think that your situation is much more common than you think, but many women can’t admit it out loud. They either quietly take matters into their own hands, or continue the pregnancy suffering in silence. You broke the silence and are now the recipient of prayers from all over the world. Many other posters have made suggestions about how to find help. Your paster is always a good source of advice, too. Don’t feel too proud to ask for help. The time will come when you will be able to be the one to provide the help. I hope The Lord will answer our prayers by giving you the strength to take that first step. After that things will begin to fall into place, I am sure.
 
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