Prepare for Marriage Prep

[redcatholic]

Yeah I still don’t buy it. Do a lot of marriages struggle with financial issues? Sure. But here’s the thing, when the prep course is a wealth building seminar it ceases to be Catholic prep. And really, I was in my twenties and my wife was a teenager. Our financial discussions for prep consisted of which ramen was tastier. It was and still is worthless. The entire financial “course” or class or whatever a diocese called it should be rolled into one subject, communication. I also note that I my diocese in Hispanic ministry and marriage prep, finances are not a subject at all. Let that sit with you for a second. The white couples get a wealth management course and the Hispanics don’t. Marriage prep should be Catholic in nature. Decisions with having and parenting children, a Church guidance, defining marriage, the domestic Church etc. Not how much your Roth IRA has in it at age 30.
As it stands we have a lot of couples splitting huge assets in a divorce and then voting for gay marriage because while their finances are great, their education in a Catholic marriage is weak. The good news is it’s usually just one kid that ends up with two Christmases.

 

[Peeps]

Marriage prep should be Catholic in nature. Decisions with having and parenting children, a Church guidance, defining marriage, the domestic Church etc. Not how much your Roth IRA has in it at age 30.

I agree with you that Marriage Prep classes should be Catholic in nature, and yes, should include discussions about parenthood, commitment to a local parish, staying close to God as a couple faithful Mass attendance and living a sacramental life and marriage, prayer, Scripture study, involvment with lay ministries in the parish, education of children in a Catholic setting if available, financial and volunteer commitment to charities that are in line with Catholic teaching, faith-filled political involvement, recreational activities that glorify God, avoiding addictions and unsafe/unhealty behaviors that risk life and mental capacity, and work/vocation of both husband and wife.

But money is part of all that, and to avoid this discussion and pretend that money doesn’t matter or that money has nothing to do with faith and religion is naive and unwise. MUCH of Scripture deals with finances and work life. Yes, God’s view of money is very different than Madison Ave. and The American Dream. But by no means does God condemn wealth, hard work, and financial savvy.

Our church newsletter just came out, and our pastor praised a couple in the church who just donated half a million dollars to build our fellowship hall (up until now, we haven’t had a fellowship hall). He commented on their generosity, which the Lord has rewarded–the more they give, the more their business grows! We are re-building our parish campus (very badly needed–lack of useful space has been a deterrent to hospitality and ministry), and five families in the parish donated a million dollars each to kick-start the fund-raising–the entire project is paid for by all of us in the parish and most of us didn’t give a million dollars!

Money IS important. I’m not at all saying that marriage prep classes should be a “Wealth Management” seminar for white people! All I’m saying is that a couple needs to talk about their management of the household finances, come to an agreement about their philosophy of money (as you and your spouse have done) and keep everything out in the open.

As for having a Roth IRA–I agree that at age 30, it doesn’t seem to matter much. But when you turn 60 and are seeing a need for retirement within 5-10 years (the body does slow down and get weaker for most of us)–that worldly, “white” Roth IRA, or other financial investments, becomes a whole heck of a lot more important to a couple! The Bible speaks of the need to be wise about finances, not foolish. And although Ramen is yummy when you’re young, it’s loaded with sugar and not something that an older person should eat a lot of–diabetes is not pleasant.