Preparing for Death

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ByzantineHeart

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This is a topic deemed morbid by many, Christian or non. And of course we are to spiritually prepare ourselves for our lives’ end. But I want to focus on this question: should one plan his funeral ahead of time, or just leave it to be dealt with after the fact?

I’m 35 and single and thus far I’ve done this much: purchased a cemetery space beside my parents and procured a life insurance policy. Is that enough? Would it be “sick” of me to actually give more thought to the hymns and scriptures Of the service, erecting a headstone, and meeting with a funeral director to mull over the details of which casket, blah, blah, etc., so that my family wouldn’t have to go through that?

Let me make it clear that I don’t want to die. I Would rather focus on life and my relationship with God while I’m breathing. Yet I read of monks who built their coffins and even slept in them for years. An image that is sure to trouble many. I hope God grants me many more years on this earth. That’s in His hands. But I just wanted to know if I’m way too young to even think of these things. My Protestant pastor sister would say this is all morbid and dark, but Catholics don’t shun death. We celebrated mass in the catacombs for how long, and continue to venerate relics after all. Thanks for any advice. Peace.
 
I suggest you lay out a basic plan but not put too much details in. Your surviving family will probably thank you for giving some guidance so they don’t have to think too hard in their time of grief. As long as you have a Catholic funeral and burial ceremony, you should be good to go (so to speak).

BTW it wasn’t that long ago in American history that families would bathe and prepare the body of a deceased member for viewing in their homes and eventual burial. Sometimes, the family cemetery was on their own property! They also birthed their children in their own homes. Somehow, as we became modernized (not sure if we’re more civilized than past generations 🤷 ), we’ve lost the sense of cycle of natural life. Now, we go to hospices when it looks like our time on earth is coming to an end. We have medical professionals who proclaim us dead and morticians to prepare our bodies. We hire cemeteries to bury our dead and keep the grave sites maintained. We even hire caterers to feed the visiting family members for the wake or the funeral. IMO we’re more disconnected from the natural cycle of life; the cycle that God created when He created us.
 
ByzantineHeart said:
This is a topic deemed morbid by many, Christian or non. And of course we are to spiritually prepare ourselves for our lives’ end. But I want to focus on this question: should one plan his funeral ahead of time, or just leave it to be dealt with after the fact?

I’m 35 and single and thus far I’ve done this much: purchased a cemetery space beside my parents and procured a life insurance policy. Is that enough? Would it be “sick” of me to actually give more thought to the hymns and scriptures Of the service, erecting a headstone, and meeting with a funeral director to mull over the details of which casket, blah, blah, etc., so that my family wouldn’t have to go through that?

Let me make it clear that I don’t want to die. I Would rather focus on life and my relationship with God while I’m breathing. Yet I read of monks who built their coffins and even slept in them for years. An image that is sure to trouble many. I hope God grants me many more years on this earth. That’s in His hands. But I just wanted to know if I’m way too young to even think of these things. My Protestant pastor sister would say this is all morbid and dark, but Catholics don’t shun death. We celebrated mass in the catacombs for how long, and continue to venerate relics after all. Thanks for any advice. Peace.
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Any preplanning for your death will be very appreciated by those who left to handle your affairs. I am mulling over songs and readings I would like (someday!) because I remember how hard it was for my mom and sister to do it for my dad, who died suddenly.
 
Planning is a good idea, especially since you’re single. I may have gone a bit too far - I have the hymns picked out! But I can’t enforce that. 😉

After a Catholic friend was denied a funeral Mass by his family, husband & I have made sure that everyone knows that at the very least, there will be a funeral Mass.

I haven’t arranged burial yet, but should because it’s VA. They tend to make things complicated. 😦

But I do have a couple of question for you: One - you’re single, so who is the life insurance for? Second - have you made out your will? If you have any assets at all, you should have a will.
 
I’m only 26, almost divorced, and have made it perfectly clear to my family that I need a funeral Mass, they are all protestant. I figure if they went meatless for me on Fridays of Lent this past Lent, I shouldn’t worry about them not giving me what I ask for post death.

We had a hard time when my grandfather passed, he was protestant so we picked songs that he liked that “fit” but never knew what he wanted or what he wanted to wear.

I don’t think it is bad to plan ahead, but I would not sleep in my coffin. No, no, no. :eek:
 
808Catholic said:
I suggest you lay out a basic plan but not put too much details in. Your surviving family will probably thank you for giving some guidance so they don’t have to think too hard in their time of grief. As long as you have a Catholic funeral and burial ceremony, you should be good to go (so to speak).

BTW it wasn’t that long ago in American history that families would bathe and prepare the body of a deceased member for viewing in their homes and eventual burial. Sometimes, the family cemetery was on their own property! They also birthed their children in their own homes. Somehow, as we became modernized (not sure if we’re more civilized than past generations 🤷 ), we’ve lost the sense of cycle of natural life. Now, we go to hospices when it looks like our time on earth is coming to an end. We have medical professionals who proclaim us dead and morticians to prepare our bodies. We hire cemeteries to bury our dead and keep the grave sites maintained. We even hire caterers to feed the visiting family members for the wake or the funeral. IMO we’re more disconnected from the natural cycle of life; the cycle that God created when He created us.
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Well said.

Mary.
 
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