Preparing for my death

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sirach2v4

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I have a lot of health problems that statistically say that I would die sooner than average. But, now I have a new problem on top of the others that shortens my horizon.

I know there are a lot of people around me who “live” in the same frame of mind, especially people in their 90’s who know that their time is short. And, there are others who are sick with cancer and heart disease and who also must have that difference in perspective about “living.”

I always knew that I would die – sometime – but now I see it not so far off. And, it’s not making me more religiously oriented or spiritual. I don’t have that impulse to try to stack a bunch of “good works” in my plus column. In fact, by circumstances, I feel somewhat distant from my local parish and the members. There is so much dissension among them. There is turmoil, because parish donations are less than before, while we’re staring into a mountain of debt.

I don’t feel that there’s a one-size-fits-all way to prepare for death. I’m not sure how to prepare.
 
First please know you are in my prayers.

Secondly I’m not sure if any of us truly know how to prepare and I’m sure it is different depending on the person, but I would go talk to a priest about the subject and take advantage of the sacraments while they are available to you.

May the peace of the Lord be upon you.
 
Salutations.
As a critical care RN for 44 years, I have been with pts. when passing. I KNOW THERE IS life on the other side. RECONCILE W THE PRIEST AND GET THE Sacrament of the sick. You could pray for healing. “THE FERVENT PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS MAN, AVAILING MUCH” FIND A BIBLE AND GOOGLE ADDRESSES OF PEACEFUL , LOVING SCRIPTURE VERSES.
ST, Joseph, patron of a peaceful death. Look down w favor on this Child of God’s and grant him peace. Holy Spirit, our Comforter, help him to rest but give him wisdom to know what to pray for: Healing or Going home to the Father. THANK YOU,Jesus, in your name. Amen.
IN CHRIST’S LOVE
TWEEDLEALICE
 
I don’t have much to offer really except to tell you the things that come to mind.

I believe that if I felt my time here was coming to an end soon I’d make my wishes known regarding a requiem Mass… find a catholic plot and I might even choose hymns/readings etc. I’d make sure my will was in order and tell my loved ones where/how to find my financial information. I’d tell the people I love how much I love them.

If I was suffering I hope that I’d offer it up to God on behalf of someone or some cause. I’d be trying to figure out whether my soul was in a fit state to meet God, assessing whether I’m doing what I need to be doing. The truth is that we don’t know when our end is, even if we know it’s close because sometimes we can remain much longer than anticipated. We still have to try to live our lives each day in the best way we know how.

However I realise that suffering and debt would be very tough challenges to face. I believe I’d stop all struggling and abandon myself entirely to God’s hands if something was beyond me, and trust him to help me.
 
I honestly don’t know what to say, but I will keep you in my prayers. I pray that you will find the answers to your questions, solutions to your problems, and the graces to meet all of the things that you need. I ask all of this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
 
Hi my friend on CAF

I am keeping you in my prayers. Everyone’s advice has been good, so I can’t add much to what has already been said, except for a :hug1: from me to you.
 
That is such a wonderful post you Just wrote,
I would love to read more of how you feel spiritually ,
 
If I were in your position, I would immediately remove myself from all “drama” of parish concerns. Presumably you yourself can’t do anything about the debt.
You should feel VERY connected. You are a child of God by virtue of your Baptism. You are the daughter of a King. You already HAVE a special relationship with the Most High, and your receive Christ personally at each Mass where you receive communion.
You already know this. You must just be dismayed at thing that you can’t change. Accept it. Rejoice in the many chances you have to assist at Holy Mass, receive Him, and forget the rest of the junk that is not to your particular liking. Christ has set up the path for you.
Just walk the path.
Allow Him to take you by the hand, and all will be well with your soul.
God bless.
 
Continue to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)

Sounds like you are gaining perspective about those worldly things Jesus taught are without eternal importance.

The things I tell people / families who are drawing near to the end of their time on earth:

Thank those nearest to us for their presence in our lives.
Tell those we love that we love them.
Forgive those who hurt us.
Ask forgiveness from those we hurt (or acknowledge intention of such if they are not around).

And of course Reconcilliation, reception of the Eucharist, Anointing and requesting the Papal indulgence as appropriate.

May God bless you during this part of your journey.
 
sirach2v4 said:
I have a lot of health problems that statistically say that I would die sooner than average. But, now I have a new problem on top of the others that shortens my horizon.

I know there are a lot of people around me who “live” in the same frame of mind, especially people in their 90’s who know that their time is short. And, there are others who are sick with cancer and heart disease and who also must have that difference in perspective about “living.”

I always knew that I would die – sometime – but now I see it not so far off. And, it’s not making me more religiously oriented or spiritual. I don’t have that impulse to try to stack a bunch of “good works” in my plus column. In fact, by circumstances, I feel somewhat distant from my local parish and the members. There is so much dissension among them. There is turmoil, because parish donations are less than before, while we’re staring into a mountain of debt.

I don’t feel that there’s a one-size-fits-all way to prepare for death. I’m not sure how to prepare.
Click to expand...
Here are a few suggestions. I would do them even if I don’t feel like it.

-Pray the rosary every day and pray for everyone that you know, including parishioners that have caused you grief and for the debt.

-Thank God every day for his creation. Take time to really think about how beautiful the birds sing and how wonderful roses smell.

-Think if there is anyone that you may have hurt in the past that you could apologize to and either write or say an apology.

-Align your suffering with the suffering of others - children with cancer, Christians in the Middle East - and let it serve as a reminder that we all suffer. The good news is we have hope in Jesus!
 
Anthony DeStevano wrote “A Travel Guide to Heaven”.

Excellent.

Available in large print.

And at least two other books, as well.
 
IF there are specific things you want done for your funeral, go to a funeral home and make the preparations. Pre-planning is a blessing on those you leave behind.

Make an appointment with your priest to discuss these plans, so that HE will know and can act as necessary when the time comes.

Talk to your doctor about what you would want done should your physical condition render it impossible for you to indicate your wishes – this is called an Advanced Directive. Also, give someone YOU trust durable power of attorney, to make any other decisions not covered by the advanced directive IF necessary, and make sure they know exactly what you want done.
 
I have gone threw a lot of medical problems ,the last thing that happen was that one off my
main arteries was 95 % closed, the only thing they could do is put a stent inside too open it up,Before I had it done,I pray to OUR LADY, and told her,to tell Jesus son, to tell his Father,
that I leave it in his Hand,s,for I seek life, that God gave me ,but I was ready to leave this world if God choose, but only God choose the time your too leave this world, not you,so don,t give up ,Instead pray from your Heart,and seek LIFE. AMEN :harp:
 
Peace be with you sirach2v4

Thank you for starting this thread. We are all in this together - you are not alone. (((hugs)))

These last few years circumstances have caused me to be in hospital (as a visitor) quite a lot. Much of the time there was spent just waiting - passing the long hours - in the company of many sick, elderly and dying people.

Talking with them, sharing their journey, is/was one of the most enriching experiences ever. I’m sure they certainly helped me spiritually much more than any small happiness I may have offered them.

And I have, as a result, committed myself ever more so, to the idea that even in (end of life) sickness and personal hardship, I will try my best to use that as a way to help others. Likewise, we can all help others - who may be in the same or worse hardship than ourself.

We can all walk with each other, side-by-side, carrying not only the personal cross each of us bears, but also carrying, all of us together, the SAME SINGLE CROSS - sharing the load.

You are not alone. And whether you or anyone else among us comes to the hour of our death before or after each other, please know that you sharing your load with us helps us in our path on the same journey.

Please post when you can. And God bless you.
 
Beloved child of God.
I forgot to mention funeral arrangements. What music would you like sing at church. Cost, speak to funeral director
If you were wise and have a large full term life insurance policy. after you pay for your funeral. Bills and house. Have a will drswn up. If not done yet. I hope you have family to take this journey w you, You can leave some. money to those you love. OR if extrao ey is in policy you could take a cruise or do something you’ve been wanting to do. Me no cruise. Think bills and house will be paid
Kids will have to sell house to inherit. Get cemetery otd, coffin. Or cremation I’d allowed
Its a lot cheaper.most churches are building
columbariums. Get kids to come over and write named on things they want

You are not dead yet. If health allows go have fun

I’m Christ’s love
Tweedlealice

.
 
/me nods at pianistclare

When I was younger (teenage) I saw a great movie “All That Jazz” about Joe Gideon,
a semi-autobiography of Bob Fosse directed by Bob Fosse, which was my first introduction to the name Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. After that I left the cinema determined to seek out her awesome book.

From a relatively young age I have understood that the stage of acceptance is something we should get to quickly so we can then really appreciate Jesus’ Words about living for today - not worrying about tomorrow and things we can’t change.

…Times and fates you can’t defy
 
I can relate to this thread. I have purchased grave plots for my wife and myself. My youngest son built my coffin. Then I purchased a complete black vestment set for my priest. All my kids know that I want a Requiem Mass in my FSSP parish. Interment is to be done about 80 miles south of my church, in an old Catholic cemetery. I told the kids to just toss the coffin in the back of the pickup and drive me down. (LOL) Seriously though, the priest and the mortician said that everything will be handled properly so that very little is left to decide.

Told the kids to leave room in my coffin for my computer. :).

I’m only 76 y.o. but you never know when you’ll be called. The family doesn’t like to discuss these things but I have sort of forced the issue. I told them that death is a part of life and it is healthy to talk about it.

My priest agrees.
 
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