Preparing for sin?

[ZoonCorp]

I have been thinking about this since I am struggling with this.

I am guilty of not only comitting sexual sin, but also of preparing for this sin with preperational actions.
Have a comitted a double sin in this case, since I deliberately prepared myslef for this sin and then comitted it?

Do I need to describe to the priest in detaild in confiession how I prepared for this? I’d rather not since it’s pretty explicit, but if I havde to do it I will do it.

Thank you for your help!

 

[stanczyk]

I have been thinking about this since I am struggling with this.

I am guilty of not only comitting sexual sin, but also of preparing for this sin with preperational actions.
Have a comitted a double sin in this case, since I deliberately prepared myslef for this sin and then comitted it?

Do I need to describe to the priest in detaild in confiession how I prepared for this? I’d rather not since it’s pretty explicit, but if I havde to do it I will do it.

Thank you for your help!

I’m not sure that preparation for fornication is distinctly from fornication itself. I think that a confession to the sin of fornication also covers the attendant preparatory activities associated with fornication. I don’t think there is any need to go into graphic detail.

 

[joshua_b]

“ You have heard that it was said, ‘ You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matt 5:27-28)

Assuming that we are speaking to this specifically, both the preparation and the action would fall under the sin of “adultery”. If the instance of preparation is directly linked to the instance of the act, I am fairly sure it would still fall under a single instance of adultery.

Thus, in a valid confession, I would think that this would be sufficiently disclosed as 1 instance of adultery. If more detail would be needed than this, than the confessor would ask the penitent for additional details, but on its merits, would still be a valid confession.

Fr. Corapi (yes…I know…) said in one of his talks on a “good” and proper confession, that confession really does not need to take longer than 60 seconds. There are only 10 Commandments. Every single minute detail of every sin is not necessary for full disclosure.

 

[Bookcat]

It would depend on what ones means (not that we need to get into that in detail here – as we need to note the forum rules on such)…

A few points I will note.

If one say chooses to commit and/or prepares for a mortal sin --but then repents --or is prevented from doing the chosen sin --they need to confess that.

Some things though are “part” of the larger sin and would not need to be confessed separately unless one as noted stopped short (if one engages in lustful kissing as say part of fornication such is presumed I would think in the “fornication”…but if one stopped at the kissing --one would confess the lustful kissing and the intent to commit fornication and that one was prevented (or of course one could have repented))

Other things I would say need to mentioned.

But one needs to avoid explicit detail. jimmyakin.com/2007/03/specific_confes.html

The Priest can guide you.

 

[Scapegoat]

I have been thinking about this since I am struggling with this.

I am guilty of not only comitting sexual sin, but also of preparing for this sin with preperational actions.
Have a comitted a double sin in this case, since I deliberately prepared myslef for this sin and then comitted it?

Do I need to describe to the priest in detaild in confiession how I prepared for this? I’d rather not since it’s pretty explicit, but if I havde to do it I will do it.

Thank you for your help!

I think it would be sufficent if you told the priest that you prepared for the sin by way of impure thoughts and actions. I wouldn’t go into further detail unless the priests asks you to elaborate further. When confessing the act itself I think it would be wise to give details on the gender of the person the sin was committed with, and the type of sexual act that was committed: oral, foreplay, etc… You will also want to add that you gave been an occasion of another’s sin by doing the acts with them.

I know there is a lot of shame involved when confessing these sins because I have had to confess them myself. Don’t let the shame keep you from confession. God knows your heart so rest assured if you are truly sorry for your sins He will forgive you.

 

[JRKH]

I have been thinking about this since I am struggling with this.

I am guilty of not only committing sexual sin, but also of preparing for this sin with preperational actions.
Have a committed a double sin in this case, since I deliberately prepared myself for this sin and then committed it?

Do I need to describe to the priest in detail in confession how I prepared for this? I’d rather not since it’s pretty explicit, but if I have to do it I will do it.

Thank you for your help!

This is a serious matter that needs to be discussed with your confessor. I strongly urge you to do so.

Having said that I will offer what small insight I can from my own experience and understanding.
You did not commit two distinct sins. The sin began from the moment you made the decision and began preparations for the actual act.
The sin was in your heart. Apparently you knew it was a sin and you made the conscious decision to go through with not only the thought, but with the preparation and the act.
Assuming this is the case (and correct me if I am wrong), we have a textbook example of a Mortal sin as described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Grave Matter, full knowledge and free consent of the will.

NOW - what to do about it. In simple terms, stop worrying about if it is one sin or two…in matters of mortal sin the number will not matter. Instead of worrying about this unimportant detail, Turn back to God. Drop to your knees in sorrowful and abject repentance. Ask God for His forgiveness and mercy. Commit to fighting this sin, in all it’s forms, in the future. Say a sincere act of contrition and commit yourself to getting to confession as soon as reasonably possible.

If the above sounds harsh, I am sorry. I mean it only in the most loving and charitable way.
Too often we get sidetracked by details of “sin” when we should be MORE interested in the details of Godly Love, Charity, and Holiness.
More important than the details of each sin occurrence is to recognize the underlying fault that prompts the sin - the “root cause”. In the case presented here obviously lust is the underlying fault but there may also be issues of pride as well.
Pray on these matters and - as already mentioned - talk these over with your confessor.

Peace
James

 

[Scapegoat]

This is a serious matter that needs to be discussed with your confessor. I strongly urge you to do so.

Having said that I will offer what small insight I can from my own experience and understanding.
You did not commit two distinct sins. The sin began from the moment you made the decision and began preparations for the actual act.
The sin was in your heart. Apparently you knew it was a sin and you made the conscious decision to go through with not only the thought, but with the preparation and the act.
Assuming this is the case (and correct me if I am wrong), we have a textbook example of a Mortal sin as described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Grave Matter, full knowledge and free consent of the will.

NOW - what to do about it. In simple terms, stop worrying about if it is one sin or two…in matters of mortal sin the number will not matter. Instead of worrying about this unimportant detail, Turn back to God. Drop to your knees in sorrowful and abject repentance. Ask God for His forgiveness and mercy. Commit to fighting this sin, in all it’s forms, in the future. Say a sincere act of contrition and commit yourself to getting to confession as soon as reasonably possible.

If the above sounds harsh, I am sorry. I mean it only in the most loving and charitable way.
Too often we get sidetracked by details of “sin” when we should be MORE interested in the details of Godly Love, Charity, and Holiness.
More important than the details of each sin occurrence is to recognize the underlying fault that prompts the sin - the “root cause”. In the case presented here obviously lust is the underlying fault but there may also be issues of pride as well.
Pray on these matters and - as already mentioned - talk these over with your confessor.

Peace
James

The only thing I would add is; sometimes the numbers do matter when it comes to mortal sin since they can indicate whether the sin is habitual or a one time occurrence. When confessing sins like masturbation, just telling the priest you masturbated does help him asses if you have a serious problem with that sin. Now if you say you have masturbated 5 times since your last confession wich was a couple of days ago, the priest can asses from this that you are struggling with a deeply rooted problem.

 

[JRKH]

The only thing I would add is; sometimes the numbers do matter when it comes to mortal sin since they can indicate whether the sin is habitual or a one time occurrence. When confessing sins like masturbation, just telling the priest you masturbated does help him asses if you have a serious problem with that sin. Now if you say you have masturbated 5 times since your last confession wich was a couple of days ago, the priest can asses from this that you are struggling with a deeply rooted problem.

Very Very good point. Thanks for adding that.

Peace
James

 

[Bookcat]

…in matters of mortal sin the number will not matter.

Such could be taken perhaps by some that number in mortal sins does not matter. Where as they do. One is *obliged *to confess all mortal sins in number and kind (and circumstance that changes the sin like --it was your brother you murdered). Granted though sometimes one does not know the exact number and needs to approximate according to what one knows so in that since one ought not be scrupulously worried that one did not know the exact number.

 

[Irishgal49]

Great comments from everyone. If I commit the sin I will mention basically: I planned it, I did everything I could to make it happen and I did it. I think that does make it more serious than if it was a momentary lapse and I fell into it. I have been on the ends of both in various sins; actually planning to sin and then doing it; planning to sin and then not doing it (I still confess that); and having no intention to sin whatsoever and finding myself giving into a momentary lapse or opportunity. Also if I “set myself up” with the occasion to sin whether I do the sin or not, I say that I was doing that.

Great comments everyone,

Lorrie:thumbsup:

 

[Bookcat]

jimmyakin.com/2012/03/confessing-by-kind-and-number.html

 

[Bookcat]

Canon Law:

Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism and not yet remitted directly through the keys of the Church nor acknowledged in individual confession, of which the person has knowledge after diligent examination of conscience.

§2. It is recommended to the Christian faithful that they also confess venial sins.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3H.HTM

(grave sin =mortal sin)

 

[JRKH]

Such could be taken perhaps by some that number in mortal sins does not matter. Where as they do. One is obliged to confess all mortal sins in number and kind (and circumstance that changes the sin like --it was your brother you murdered). Granted though sometimes one does not know the exact number and needs to approximate according to what one knows.

How’d you know I have wanted to murder my brother… but really that was years ago.

Just kidding of course.

Seriously though…You are right. I guess I was not too clear in my post and I am glad others are pointing out these things.
My main concern was that the OP not be overly focused on the details and miss the deeper and more important aspects of serious sin…That is, the underlying causes. I guess in my efforts to point this out, I sometimes go a bit too far the other direction.
Thankfully you and Scapegoat bring in these good points regarding quantities of similar sin and how this is important for assessment purposes. Understanding quantity and type is necessary to a good determination of underlying causes and weaknesses.

Thanks again.

Peace
James

 

[Bookcat]

How’d you know I have wanted to murder my brother… but really that was years ago.

Just kidding of course.

Seriously though…You are right. I guess I was not too clear in my post and I am glad others are pointing out these things.
My main concern was that the OP not be overly focused on the details and miss the deeper and more important aspects of serious sin…That is, the underlying causes. I guess in my efforts to point this out, I sometimes go a bit too far the other direction.
Thankfully you and Scapegoat bring in these good points regarding quantities of similar sin and how this is important for assessment purposes. Understanding quantity and type is necessary to a good determination of underlying causes and weaknesses.

Thanks again.

Peace
James

Yes understanding the type and quantity is necessary to a good determination of underlying causes and weaknesses- but it is very important to keep noting that such is not the main reason one is obliged to confess in number and kind. Such has to do with the judicial-sacrament nature of the Sacrament of Penance.

Now as to your brother – you need to address that too on a number of levels…

 

[JRKH]

Now as to your brother – you need to address that too on a number of levels…

I did address him once, but my mom wouldn’t let me mail him…

Peace
James

 

[ZoonCorp]

Thank you everyone!

I will definately reflect on what you told me. That said, I went to confession today and told the priest that I intended to sin, prepared myself willfully, and I commited the sin willfully.

Thanks again.
God bless!

 

[JRKH]

Thank you everyone!

I will definitely reflect on what you told me. That said, I went to confession today and told the priest that I intended to sin, prepared myself willfully, and I committed the sin willfully.

Thanks again.
God bless!

This is good to hear. It is good to have this confessed. The renewed grace will be of great help moving forward.

Peace
James

 

[LilyM]

I think you’ve got the right end of the stick. If you go through to acting out on your plans then mention that the sin was premeditated and preplanned, for greater clarity.

In a situation where you plan to sin but do not go through with it, due to external circumstances, you need to confess planning the sin.

Eg - if I intend to rob a particular bank, turn up to the bank to do the robbery, only to fail because I forgot it was a public holiday and that the bank would be closed, I need to confess that I tried/intended to rob a bank.

But … if, by contrast, I turned up and the bank was open and all, but I voluntarily changed my mind and didn’t go through with the robbery, then I would have nothing to confess AFAIK, since I was tempted but successfully resisted the temptation. Make sense?

 

[Bookcat]

I think you’ve got the right end of the stick. If you go through to acting out on your plans then mention that the sin was premeditated and preplanned, for greater clarity.

In a situation where you plan to sin but do not go through with it, due to external circumstances, you need to confess planning the sin.

Eg - if I intend to rob a particular bank, turn up to the bank to do the robbery, only to fail because I forgot it was a public holiday and that the bank would be closed, I need to confess that I tried/intended to rob a bank.

But … if, by contrast, I turned up and the bank was open and all, but I voluntarily changed my mind and didn’t go through with the robbery, then I would have nothing to confess AFAIK, since I was tempted but successfully resisted the temptation. Make sense?

Actually in both cases one needs to confess the grave sin involved. In the second one (from the way it seems to be written–by the fact that one changes ones mind) one already committed mortal sin from the fact that one already choose to go rob a bank (assuming the needed knowledge and consent) --it is just that one *repented *and did not carry it through.

Now if one just had say some temptation to rob a bank but did not choose to do so etc etc then one will have resisted the temptation in the end. *And it can be thus an act of virtue even. *

 

[LilyM]

Actually in both cases one needs to confess the grave sin involved. In the second one (from the way it seems to be written–by the fact that one changes ones mind) one already committed mortal sin from the fact that one already choose to go rob a bank (assuming the needed knowledge and consent) --it is just that one *repented *and did not carry it through.

Now if one just had say some temptation to rob a bank but did not choose to do so etc etc then one will have resisted the temptation in the end. *And it can be thus an act of virtue even. *

But how can it be said that one had anything more than a temptation to rob a bank when one ‘chose’, voluntarily, in the end not to actually go ahead with the act - didn’t actually rob the bank?

If you think about sleeping with someone other than your spouse, but decide not to do it, then you don’t sin, because you haven’t given in to the temptation to commit adultery, true?

And surely it doesn’t matter whether one finally conquers that temptation a second after first thinking about it or a second before committing the act, does it?