Preparing for the honeymoon

[Rach620]

I have, however, talked to my Mum (Aussie spelling) about it all.
Some people have mentioned UTI (which I’m assuming stands for urinary tract infection) and my mother recommended using potassium permanganate (or permanganate of potash or Condy’s crystals) dissolved in water to clean oneself with after the act for the first month or so to prevent the infection…

If you are practicing NFP, I probably wouldn’t recommend doing this. The Creighton model of NFP suggests a “seminal fluid instruction” which helps with avoiding UTIs as well as helping with the “cleanup” after sex. Within 30-60 minutes after the act, go to the bathroom, urinate, and bear down/do kegels exercises until all of the seminal fluid is eliminated. Urinating is especially important for helping avoid UTIs, as it flushes out any bacteria that might have made their way in during the act. Some women are just more prone to UTIs than others–I took cranberry pills when we were first married, along with doing the SFI, but never had any problems. I stopped taking the cranberry and sometimes even go without the SFI, and I still haven’t had a UTI.

In fact, in general, douching is not a healthy (or necessary) practice for women. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. You really shouldn’t even use scented soaps or those feminine hygiene wipes to ‘clean’ the area, much less other chemical disinfectants.

Also, I’m having a bit of conflicting feelings about sex … Intellectually I know it’s a beautiful gift of oneself to one’s spouse and all the theology behind it, but I have this gut feeling which is not at all reasonable, that sex is, well… yucky… I’m wondering if this is normal for girls who haven’t had sex before their wedding night.

It’s normal to have a bit of anxiety and nervousness about it all, but I don’t think it’s a healthy attitude towards sex (within marriage) to consider it “yucky”. It is a beautiful, intimate act shared by husband and wife. Offering your virginity to your husband is beautiful–nothing yucky about it. You really should talk about these feelings with your husband, and perhaps with a priest or a Catholic woman you trust (maybe your mum?), before the wedding.

 

[Augusta_Sans]

I WISH that I had gone into my marriage inexperienced, without any expectations or preconceptions. You are blessed to go down this journey together! Don’t worry about guides, videos, tips and tricks. Just plan on lots of foreplay, have a basic lubricant* on hand (I’m a fan of Pure Romance’s Just Like Me because it is unscented and feels natural), and accept that it’s a learning experience and no one is perfect the first time around.

Again, you are in a very blessed situation. Embrace the awkwardness, the fumbling, and the inevitable giggles. I wish you the absolute best!

*The Catholic Church is okay with using sexual non-spermicidal lubricant, right? I’m a recent convert and am still learning my way around the dos-and-don’ts…

EDITED to add: About UTIs: Just drink your 8 glasses of water on the big day, add in some cranberry juice if you’re worried about it, and urinate before and after sex. (Always wipe front-to-back and always use those tummy muscles to completely empty your bladder.) You should be fine with this routine. No need to do any special voodoo dance or cleansing ritual. I am extremely prone to UTIs and used to experience them after sex until I got this routine down. In the rare event that you do develop a UTI, drink water + cranberry juice, urinate frequently, and sooth the ache with a hot bath or hot wash cloth. You’ll be fine within a day or two (and if you’re not, see a doctor!)

 

[tampagrl]

I WISH that I had gone into my marriage inexperienced, without any expectations or preconceptions. You are blessed to go down this journey together!

I feel the exact same way. If I were to dwell on regrets, this would be #1.

*The Catholic Church is okay with using sexual non-spermicidal lubricant, right? I’m a recent convert and am still learning my way around the dos-and-don’ts…

Yes, they are…not sure if that specific one is, though - sometimes they’ll say “non-spermicidal” but aren’t really. I never have to use them, so I don’t know. Sorry, TMI…

 

[linusmom]

This seems like a reasonable place to post this question and I’ve been wondering, are there any positions which are forbidden by the Church? Sorry if this is too graphic.

 

[moon1234]

This seems like a reasonable place to post this question and I’ve been wondering, are there any positions which are forbidden by the Church? Sorry if this is too graphic.

There are no position requirements or prohibitions. The only thing that is outright wrong is anal sex. His penis does not belong there. I suppose you would also have to include the same for any toys on him that would be for the same purpose. Not to mention that this kind of thing can cause all sorts of nasty infections.

Other than that there are really no restrictions. Just keep in mind that the man must ALWAYS finish inside the woman. Other than that you are free to explore different positions.

Be careful though. You can throw out your back if your not careful. There was a comment above somewhere about running at your man naked. While this can be fun, my wife did this once and I had a sore back for about two weeks as I was not expecting it. As much as I love my wife, we both weigh about the same and I can not bench press my own weight. I would have preferred she walked rather than run and jump forward tackle style.

 

[tampagrl]

There are no position requirements or prohibitions. The only thing that is outright wrong is anal sex. His penis does not belong there. I suppose you would also have to include the same for any toys on him that would be for the same purpose. Not to mention that this kind of thing can cause all sorts of nasty infections.

Other than that there are really no restrictions. Just keep in mind that the man must ALWAYS finish inside the woman. Other than that you are free to explore different positions.

Be careful though. You can throw out your back if your not careful. There was a comment above somewhere about running at your man naked. While this can be fun, my wife did this once and I had a sore back for about two weeks as I was not expecting it. As much as I love my wife, we both weigh about the same and I can not bench press my own weight. I would have preferred she walked rather than run and jump forward tackle style.

LOL I’m sorry you had a sore back, but that was too funny.

I have a friend whom, when we want to needle her, we call her “books”. Without going into specifics, her dh had a bookshelf fall on him and was in really bad shape for awhile. So, the only advice to the OP that I would add: keep it on the horizontal unless you’re a real pro! btw, her dh is fine now, but that story still makes me laugh. Poor dude.