Preschool - Yea or Nay?

[Cat]

I don’t get this at all.

My daughters didn’t go to pre-school, but they knew how to wait their turn, raise their hands, etc.

I taught them these things at home. And they attended all kinds of activities between birth and age 5–VBS every year, church clubs on Wednesday evening (yes, the Pioneer Clubs “Scooters” started at age 3), Sunday school beginning at age 2, various neighborhood Good New Clubs (sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship), ballet classes, figure skating classes, and all kinds of “free” classes at the local museums and parks. We also attended protest rallies for pro-life causes, human rights rallies, and other political activities. And we attended concerts in the parks, and the el-cheapo “Kids” movies" at our local theater; I noticed in the paper on Friday that one of the local community centers offers “Friday Night at the Movies” free of charge, so this is still an option for parents.

And of course the weekly “Story Times” at the Public Libraries–still done in our city.

Most of these activities were free, except for the figure skating.

ALL of these activities taught my children the basic skills of being “in school”–raising a hand to speak, waiting their turn, waiting in lines, being quiet during appropriate times, not dissolving into tears or throwing tantrums, not using physical force against other kids, not sassing back to an adult/teacher/coach, etc.

And we practiced these skills at home. I made games out of these skills–we had a lot of fun reciting full name, address, etc.

Lots of Catholic kids attended the various church activities, too, without converting to Evangelical Protestantism. A lot of Catholic parents brought their kids because the activities were free, and a great opportunity to “socialize” their kids.

Don’t mothers take their kids to these things anymore?!

 

[KCT]

I worry about stress and burn out when kids start in a school setting so young.

 

[Xantippe]

Don’t mothers take their kids to these things anymore?!

It’s kind of a drag to take a 3-year-old plus an infant or a 1-year-old to a 45-minute thing for the 3-year-old and then hang around the whole time keeping the preschooler on task and the infant or toddler out of trouble and do that several times a week (perhaps driving 15 minutes each way). I found library reading time at that age pretty dreadful (it was about a 35 minute walk one way). I loved the local Gymboree knock off thing from around 1 to 2 for my oldest–right up until I got pregnant with the next child. After that, it was just HARD.

Economically speaking, I find parents’ day out in our area very affordable. You get a generous chunk of time for around $3 an hour, which is very hard to beat. I spend around $60 a month these days for about 22 hours of parents’ day out. If I were paying a babysitter at the local college girl minimum of $10 an hour, I’d get at best 6 hours a month.

It’s really nice to have the opportunity to get a haircut ALONE or go to the doctor ALONE or the dentist ALONE or the optometrist ALONE or to shop for jeans ALONE or lunch or a matinee movie with my husband (just the two of us) and without spending a small fortune on sitters, which is something that parents’ day out or preschool makes possible. (I understand that for families with helpful local grandmas, this doesn’t sound like such a big deal, but for highly mobile families with no near relations within 2,000 miles, it’s a huge deal.)

 

[Xantippe]

I worry about stress and burn out when kids start in a school setting so young.

It’s not a “school” setting. It’s finger painting, play doh, circle time, snack time, playground, leaf prints, a little potty training and a nap. No biggie.

For a 3-year-old with a baby sibling at home, it can also be a relief (for both mom and preschooler) to get away from the baby and have a little something extra to fill up the day. The days can be really looooong when you’re 3 and at home all day with mom and the baby and mom seems to be spending all of her time on the baby.

 

[Xantippe]

Here’s a practical problem that I ran into living in the big city–if everybody else is sending their 3-year-old to preschool, it’s going to be really difficult to find other 3-year-olds for yours to play with if you aren’t doing the preschool thing, too.

Living in a part of town where during the day it was almost all nannies, almost no actual mommies, I had a really hard time making friends for my toddler and me when she was about 1-3 even though we practically lived on the playgrounds. But once we signed up for preschool co-op, suddenly I knew lots of people and there were lots of friends to play with on the playground after co-op.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I don’t get this at all.

My daughters didn’t go to pre-school, but they knew how to wait their turn, raise their hands, etc.

I taught them these things at home. And they attended all kinds of activities between birth and age 5–VBS every year, church clubs on Wednesday evening (yes, the Pioneer Clubs “Scooters” started at age 3), Sunday school beginning at age 2, various neighborhood Good New Clubs (sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship), ballet classes, figure skating classes, and all kinds of “free” classes at the local museums and parks. We also attended protest rallies for pro-life causes, human rights rallies, and other political activities. And we attended concerts in the parks, and the el-cheapo “Kids” movies" at our local theater; I noticed in the paper on Friday that one of the local community centers offers “Friday Night at the Movies” free of charge, so this is still an option for parents.

And of course the weekly “Story Times” at the Public Libraries–still done in our city.

Most of these activities were free, except for the figure skating.

ALL of these activities taught my children the basic skills of being “in school”–raising a hand to speak, waiting their turn, waiting in lines, being quiet during appropriate times, not dissolving into tears or throwing tantrums, not using physical force against other kids, not sassing back to an adult/teacher/coach, etc.

And we practiced these skills at home. I made games out of these skills–we had a lot of fun reciting full name, address, etc.

Lots of Catholic kids attended the various church activities, too, without converting to Evangelical Protestantism. A lot of Catholic parents brought their kids because the activities were free, and a great opportunity to “socialize” their kids.

Don’t mothers take their kids to these things anymore?!

In my case, my mother worked full-time from home and didn’t have time to do most of these things with us. (She also didn’t “believe in” most children’s activities, and didn’t want us socializing very much with other children, but that’s a different issue.)

Now, my sister and I did go to museums, albeit alone; we lived near a major university, and could ride our bikes to several very good museums. We knew how to behave there: be quiet and polite, don’t touch the exhibits, and so on. But the reason we knew how to behave there was that there were signs to that effect, and I knew to follow the signs. If someone had handed me a list of rules and how-to-do-these-basic-things in kindergarten and first grade, I would have been thrilled–and I would have fit in a lot better!

Of course the teachers told us rules like walking in line and so on, but there were a lot of unwritten ones that weren’t intuitive at all to me, such as “if the gym class is playing soccer, you need to play soccer too and not be off in another corner of the gym, running around in circles and pretending to be a flying bird.” I didn’t like soccer, and I did like pretending to be a bird in this lovely, big space in which I could run around, and I wasn’t bothering anyone by being a bird, so why should I play soccer?, said my five-year-old self. (To myself, I should add–not to a teacher. I knew perfectly well not to speak rudely to adults, and wouldn’t have done so. If a teacher said, “UbiCaritas, you need to play soccer with your class,” I would have said “yes, ma’am,” and done so, albeit perhaps unwillingly.) By running around like a bird, I got a reputation for “not listening,” “not playing appropriately,” and “not engaging in classroom activities.” No one bothered to explain the (obvious in retrospect, not so much to a 5-year-old) fact that if my class was playing soccer, I needed to as well, because the teachers all assumed that I understood that and was just behaving badly. Ugh!

 

[pianistclare]

I don’t get this at all.

My daughters didn’t go to pre-school, but they knew how to wait their turn, raise their hands, etc.

**I taught them these things at home. And they attended all kinds of activities between birth and age 5–VBS every year, church clubs on Wednesday evening (yes, the Pioneer Clubs “Scooters” started at age 3), Sunday school beginning at age 2, various neighborhood Good New Clubs (sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship), ballet classes, figure skating classes, and all kinds of “free” classes at the local museums and parks. We also attended protest rallies for pro-life causes, human rights rallies, and other political activities. And we attended concerts in the parks, and the el-cheapo “Kids” movies" at our local theater; I noticed in the paper on Friday that one of the local community centers offers “Friday Night at the Movies” free of charge, so this is still an option for parents. **

**Sounds like they indeed had “pre-school like” activities. Most of these things would equate in reality (may be WAY more in cost) to pre-school. I think the debate is more keep them at home or put them in a brief preschool. Someone other than you was teaching them, reinforcing what you taught. That’s what I’m talking about anyway. **

And of course the weekly “Story Times” at the Public Libraries–still done in our city.

Most of these activities were free, except for the figure skating.

ALL of these activities taught my children the basic skills of being “in school”–raising a hand to speak, waiting their turn, waiting in lines, being quiet during appropriate times, not dissolving into tears or throwing tantrums, not using physical force against other kids, not sassing back to an adult/teacher/coach, etc.

And we practiced these skills at home. I made games out of these skills–we had a lot of fun reciting full name, address, etc.

Lots of Catholic kids attended the various church activities, too, without converting to Evangelical Protestantism. A lot of Catholic parents brought their kids because the activities were free, and a great opportunity to “socialize” their kids.

Don’t mothers take their kids to these things anymore?!

 

[Xantippe]

pianistclare said:

“Sounds like they indeed had “pre-school like” activities. Most of these things would equate in reality (may be WAY more in cost) to pre-school.”

Right. The per hour expense for most classes can be really high compared to preschool or parents’ day out, and you often don’t have the advantage of being able to drop the child off.

I was just looking up one of our local ballet places, and the cost for a dance class for 3-4 year olds is $50 a month for a one hour class (presumably weekly?).

There’s a college-based toddler music group in our town that costs $135 (plus nearly $30 registration fee) for approximately 12 weeks of (weekly?) instruction.

 

[EasterJoy]

I’ve been a teacher for 10 years and I have to say, I’m not really impressed with preschool. I don’t think they’re bad, but I think a child could learn more in a less structured environment. The school where I work has a preschool and about half of our incoming kindergarteners have attended preschool. They are usually better prepared for the social aspect of school (raising hands, walking in a line, waiting turns, etc) but by the end of the year, the other kids have been trained and you can’t even tell the difference. I don’t think that there is strong evidence that it helps kids in the long run, except maybe in the cases of students who need early intervention for a disability.

I think it depends very much on the child and what the alternative is. If you don’t have your child in pre-school, I’d say the stuff that makes the most difference are those things that push language and math readiness and consideration for other people’s feelings.

Either way, read to your child a lot. Tell them stories that push their vocabulary; they’ll learn to pick up words by context or ask you what the words mean. Play with them and encourage them to narrate a story as you play. Use descriptive words–for instance, not just “bird,” but chicken, cardinal, robin, turkey, eagle. Not just “car” but station wagon, sedan, van, compact, sports car. These are things that a parent can help them with that a four-year-old school mate won’t. They can do this–these kids can all learn Stegasaurus, if dinosaurs are their passion! Find out what they are passionate about, and feed them lots of words from that world.

We also used to play a game where we would each think of a word that rhymes or starts with the same sound or ends with the same sound. The adults would have to change just one letter, but the kids just had to come up with a sound change. If the parents play according to the kid rules–fall-ball-call-doll-tall-Paul-pill-bill-bid-bit-kit-cat–and explain why each step works, the kids will get the rough idea. That is all that is necessary. It is supposed to be fun to train your ears for language! This is another way to add vocabulary, because if someone tries a word that the others don’t know, they have to explain what it means. Then when they are older and learning to spell, you can change the game to its more difficult form, which we called “Four Letter Words.”–bale-pale-pole-pile-tile-tilt-wilt--

You can also just learn nursery rhymes and little jingles. Mother Goose had an end in mind other than entertainment!

Count things out or play games that take some simple analysis: more or less, lower or higher, and so on. Play games that have social rules, such as Simon Says.

There used to be a book out called “It Takes Two to Talk.” Books on language readiness for kids that are speech delayed can give you lots of fun ideas.

 

[Cat]

In my case, my mother worked full-time from home and didn’t have time to do most of these things with us. (She also didn’t “believe in” most children’s activities, and didn’t want us socializing very much with other children, but that’s a different issue.)

Now, my sister and I did go to museums, albeit alone; we lived near a major university, and could ride our bikes to several very good museums. We knew how to behave there: be quiet and polite, don’t touch the exhibits, and so on. But the reason we knew how to behave there was that there were signs to that effect, and I knew to follow the signs. If someone had handed me a list of rules and how-to-do-these-basic-things in kindergarten and first grade, I would have been thrilled–and I would have fit in a lot better!

Of course the teachers told us rules like walking in line and so on, but there were a lot of unwritten ones that weren’t intuitive at all to me, such as “if the gym class is playing soccer, you need to play soccer too and not be off in another corner of the gym, running around in circles and pretending to be a flying bird.” I didn’t like soccer, and I did like pretending to be a bird in this lovely, big space in which I could run around, and I wasn’t bothering anyone by being a bird, so why should I play soccer?, said my five-year-old self. (To myself, I should add–not to a teacher. I knew perfectly well not to speak rudely to adults, and wouldn’t have done so. If a teacher said, “UbiCaritas, you need to play soccer with your class,” I would have said “yes, ma’am,” and done so, albeit perhaps unwillingly.) By running around like a bird, I got a reputation for “not listening,” “not playing appropriately,” and “not engaging in classroom activities.” No one bothered to explain the (obvious in retrospect, not so much to a 5-year-old) fact that if my class was playing soccer, I needed to as well, because the teachers all assumed that I understood that and was just behaving badly. Ugh!

I don’t think the bird vs. playing soccer thing would be helped by attending pre-school compared to staying at home with mother or father.

Parents can and should train their children to stay on task. This is something that children must be mature enough to comprehend, so parents have to be careful not to force this, or to get angry with a 2-year old who can only help match socks for or listen to a book for one minute and then loses interest.

This kind of training should happen naturally, from the time the child is born. At first the tasks and activities are very simple and fun; e.g., playing a little game. Everything should be done with great gentleness and respect for the child’s maturity level.

But as the children get older, they should be given a variety of different activity options every day, including much play time, and the parents should work with the child so that they will complete their activity.

E.g., if the child is asked to pick up their toys and put them in the box, the parents should help the child to complete this task (much praise is good!), and gradually get to a place where the child can be told, “Please put your toys away,” and the child will complete the task by himself with no help. The goal is to get the child to a place where he/she will put the toys away without being asked.

I think that in many cases, parents get frustrated waiting for a looooooonnng time for the child to complete the task, so the parent leaps in to finish the task. And sometimes, the child balks and gets sulky, and the parents sigh and give up.

We saw the results of this type of parenting last summer at the 4th of July. Our son-in-law and daughter were setting off fireworks in the yard, and their five little cousins were watching and enjoying the display. When it was all finished, my daughter and son-in-law said, “OK, let’s pick up all the trash!” Four of the kids started helping, but one of the boys walked away. My daughter called his name, and he ignored her. She ran up to get him, and said, “You WILL help pick up the trash from your grandparents’ yard!” And he told her, “I don’t have to. Mom will do it for me.”

Ai yi yi! That’s terrible. Parental failure has dreadful consequences.

Now back to the bird thing. I don’t think this has anything to do with cooperation and discipline and task-finishing. I think it has more to do with personality and maturity-level. At that age, you simply didn’t realize that it was “soccer time,” not “bird time.” The teacher should have made this clear to you. It shouldn’t take “preschool” to teach this to a child. And the teacher should not assume that you were “not listening” or “not paying attention” just because you behaved in an unexpected way.

You can see why I don’t trust teachers–that was wrong of that teacher! She should have realized that this little one wasn’t mature enough yet, and the teacher should have gently worked with you to teach you that soccer time means soccer time. After all, the class is P.E., not “soccer,” and the object of P.E. is to be active, and you were definitely being active. There’s no reason to label a child.

 

[Cat]

pianistclare said:

“Sounds like they indeed had “pre-school like” activities. Most of these things would equate in reality (may be WAY more in cost) to pre-school.”

Right. The per hour expense for most classes can be really high compared to preschool or parents’ day out, and you often don’t have the advantage of being able to drop the child off.

I was just looking up one of our local ballet places, and the cost for a dance class for 3-4 year olds is $50 a month for a one hour class (presumably weekly?).

There’s a college-based toddler music group in our town that costs $135 (plus nearly $30 registration fee) for approximately 12 weeks of (weekly?) instruction.

I certainly agree that organized activities can be expensive.

But like I said earlier, we were pretty broke. The figure skating was fairly cheap back then (we were in North Carolina–not exactly a figure skating mecca!).

It doesn’t have to be organized sports or arts with a fee. Much of what we did was free, other than the price of gas. And often, I would take other kids along, and their parents would chip in for food or gas. It was so much fun!

We did a lot of game playing in the house, too. I could make a game out of anything.

I would sit at the piano with my kids and play simple songs and sing along. My younger daughter enjoyed playing a musical memory game with me–I would play a short phrase and she would sing it. I thought all kids could do this, and then I found out that kids can’t match pitches. Maybe if their parents played this game with them instead of sticking them in front of a video of “kids’ music”…

The main thing was that the kids had a busy, happy, fun childhood with lots of enriching activities that more than prepared them for school. The only thing they “lacked” when they went to school was exposure to much of popular “teen” culture–why should a 5-year-old watch teenaged shows, or listen to teenaged music?! They need to listen to age-appropriate shows and music.

Of course, my older daughter had watched all 21 hours of Wagner’s “Ring Cycle” opera on PBS, and since she could read, she was able to read the subtitles and follow the story. So perhaps I should be chastised for exposing the kids to “adult shows and music.”

 

[Cat]

It’s kind of a drag to take a 3-year-old plus an infant or a 1-year-old to a 45-minute thing for the 3-year-old and then hang around the whole time keeping the preschooler on task and the infant or toddler out of trouble and do that several times a week (perhaps driving 15 minutes each way). I found library reading time at that age pretty dreadful (it was about a 35 minute walk one way). I loved the local Gymboree knock off thing from around 1 to 2 for my oldest–right up until I got pregnant with the next child. After that, it was just HARD.

Economically speaking, I find parents’ day out in our area very affordable. You get a generous chunk of time for around $3 an hour, which is very hard to beat. I spend around $60 a month these days for about 22 hours of parents’ day out. If I were paying a babysitter at the local college girl minimum of $10 an hour, I’d get at best 6 hours a month.

It’s really nice to have the opportunity to get a haircut ALONE or go to the doctor ALONE or the dentist ALONE or the optometrist ALONE or to shop for jeans ALONE or lunch or a matinee movie with my husband (just the two of us) and without spending a small fortune on sitters, which is something that parents’ day out or preschool makes possible. (I understand that for families with helpful local grandmas, this doesn’t sound like such a big deal, but for highly mobile families with no near relations within 2,000 miles, it’s a huge deal.)

Well, Xantippe, I really loved doing things with my daughters and their friends. My daughters were 2.5 years apart, so I had to take a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old along, and usually at least one 3-year-old friend. But I loved it. I still love being around kids. I usually had tons of energy and my imagination was equal or more rampant than theirs.

My husband and I moved a thousand miles away from our parents and families, so if we wanted time out alone, we had to either trade with another family, or hire a teenaged babysitter. And we did these things, because we knew that it was vital for us to continue nurturing our marriage and romance.

 

[Xantippe]

I would sit at the piano with my kids and play simple songs and sing along. My younger daughter enjoyed playing a musical memory game with me–I would play a short phrase and she would sing it. I thought all kids could do this, and then I found out that kids can’t match pitches. Maybe if their parents played this game with them instead of sticking them in front of a video of “kids’ music”…

**That’s great you were able to do that.

I never had music lessons as a child. So, no fun piano games for my kids!**

The main thing was that the kids had a busy, happy, fun childhood with lots of enriching activities that more than prepared them for school. The only thing they “lacked” when they went to school was exposure to much of popular “teen” culture–why should a 5-year-old watch teenaged shows, or listen to teenaged music?! They need to listen to age-appropriate shows and music.

**Eh, in my experience, contemporary middle class small children are much more shielded from “adult” influences than the previous generation. Thanks to DVDs and Netflix and so forth, there is unlimited children’s media for them. I, on the other hand, remember sitting through an awful lot of “Three’s Company” as a kid. **

Of course, my older daughter had watched all 21 hours of Wagner’s “Ring Cycle” opera on PBS, and since she could read, she was able to read the subtitles and follow the story. So perhaps I should be chastised for exposing the kids to “adult shows and music.”

 

[Xantippe]

Well, Xantippe, I really loved doing things with my daughters and their friends. My daughters were 2.5 years apart, so I had to take a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old along, and usually at least one 3-year-old friend. But I loved it. I still love being around kids. I usually had tons of energy and my imagination was equal or more rampant than theirs.

**Without preschool and pre-K, there really wouldn’t have been more than a friend or two for my kids.

Preschool and pre-k were a social life saver when we lived in an area where all of the other kids were doing preschool and pre-k.

It would have been incredibly isolating not to do it. **

My husband and I moved a thousand miles away from our parents and families, so if we wanted time out alone, we had to either trade with another family, or hire a teenaged babysitter. And we did these things, because we knew that it was vital for us to continue nurturing our marriage and romance.

 

[misspriss]

I am considering sending DS to preschool at least a part day, Currently, MIL watches him, but I am being forced to go full time and she is complaining about the longer hours. I’m pregnant and can’t find a temporary, part time job, in my area of expertise, that makes enough money, so I’m stuck with it. I am looking into some local preschools.

 

[Book_Worm]

I don’t think it is particularly important for a child to get away from their parents before they’re five. It is OK, but it does not put the child behind.
EasterJoy;12647367:

I don’t think it is particularly important for a child to get away from their parents before they’re five. It is OK, but it does not put the child behind.

I cannot tell you how much I disagree with this. Because of his multiple severe allergies, DGS spent almost no time away from his parents, and we are the only baby sitters she allows. He is very uncomfortable being away from his parents. His anxiety breaks my heart. Preschool is definitely helping him overcome it.

A PP mentioned the fact that preschools can detect problems early when parents don’t often see them. When DD taught in the preschool, they identified many deficiencies that parents couldn’t or wouldn’t see. A coworker told me that he and his wife had their DD in a home day care situation until he began working for our company. The first day she entered the program, the teachers detected a problem and soon recommended they have her tested. Her mild autism was diagnosed, and they began to get her appropriate help. He thought that early intervention made a huge difference in her development. DD’s nephew’s OCD, poor small motor skills and socialization problems were detected by his preschool when his entire family (other than DD) missed them, even his DGM, who had been a kindergarten teacher for 30+ years.

 

[pensmama87]

That makes me wonder about the 3 year old I watch, actually. I’ve been concerned several times that he has developmental delays, especially with speech. But I’m not qualified to diagnose or help with that in a professional capacity. His speech has improved a lot since I started watching him (both my kids are very verbal which probably helps some, but he’s at the same level as my 20 month old.)

I wonder if and how I tell the parents my concerns.

 

[Xantippe]

That makes me wonder about the 3 year old I watch, actually. I’ve been concerned several times that he has developmental delays, especially with speech. But I’m not qualified to diagnose or help with that in a professional capacity. His speech has improved a lot since I started watching him (both my kids are very verbal which probably helps some, but he’s at the same level as my 20 month old.)

I wonder if and how I tell the parents my concerns.

There’s a lot of variation in speech development among children.

I think you’ve done enough if you just ask the parents if they’ve talked to their pediatrician about the kid’s speech development and wonder out loud if the pediatrician would recommend a speech evaluation. They might get defensive, but I think your duty would be 100% done at that point.

I know our kids’ pediatrician has been watching my 2-year-old’s speech like a hawk and already had us do a formal speech eval at 19 or 20 months. She tested OK (particularly on the responsive side, rather than the productive side), but the pediatrician wanted us to go back again after 2 years. (I think it’s actually fine–the 2-year-old is finally sticking together two or three words and doing mini-conversations and she’s the most social child we’ve ever had, but oldest is mildly autistic, and I appreciate the fact that the doctor has her eyes open.)

 

[Xantippe]

A PP mentioned the fact that preschools can detect problems early when parents don’t often see them. When DD taught in the preschool, they identified many deficiencies that parents couldn’t or wouldn’t see. A coworker told me that he and his wife had their DD in a home day care situation until he began working for our company. The first day she entered the program, the teachers detected a problem and soon recommended they have her tested. Her mild autism was diagnosed, and they began to get her appropriate help. He thought that early intervention made a huge difference in her development. DD’s nephew’s OCD, poor small motor skills and socialization problems were detected by his preschool when his entire family (other than DD) missed them, even his DGM, who had been a kindergarten teacher for 30+ years.

I think a lot of problems are invisible in the home setting.

Autism spectrum stuff, for instance, is largely a social issue, so you won’t see some of the features manifest until you put the child around other children the same age.

 

[pensmama87]

There’s a lot of variation in speech development among children.

I think you’ve done enough if you just ask the parents if they’ve talked to their pediatrician about the kid’s speech development and wonder out loud if the pediatrician would recommend a speech evaluation. They might get defensive, but I think your duty would be 100% done at that point.

I know our kids’ pediatrician has been watching my 2-year-old’s speech like a hawk and already had us do a formal speech eval at 19 or 20 months. She tested OK (particularly on the responsive side, rather than the productive side), but the pediatrician wanted us to go back again after 2 years. (I think it’s actually fine–the 2-year-old is finally sticking together two or three words and doing mini-conversations and she’s the most social child we’ve ever had, but oldest is mildly autistic, and I appreciate the fact that the doctor has her eyes open.)

Thanks, this is helpful. I do have other concerns about him besides speech, but speech is the one that’s the most obvious.

I might tie it in to asking about if they are planning on doing preschool for him, which is a factor in our decision for our son. He’s welcome to do the co-op if I decide to do that, but a more formal environment might be better for him to determine if he is delayed and how to address the delays.