Pressure hubby to go to Confession?

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My husband, a good man, committed a sin that I think could likely be a mortal sin. I am strongly encouraging him to go to Confession for it. He is convinced that, while a sin, it was a venial sin. He has privately asked God for forgiveness, and does not believe he needs to go to Confession for it. He said he will mention it at his next Confession, but that likely won’t be for quite some time, since he just went recently.
If I press hard enough, I believe I can pressure him into going. He wouldn’t be lying, as he is sorry, but is it right for me to get so involved in his relationship with God? He is a faithful Catholic. But I am scared he will go to hell for this, because if it was actually a mortal sin and he waits to confess it, he will have the additional sin of receiving Communion unworthily (and he won’t confess this, because he doesn’t think he committed a mortal sin to start with.)
Any advice?
 
This is between your husband and God. You have done all you can do by suggesting that he go to confession, but ultimately, that is up to him.
Let it go, nagging him will do neither of you any good.
 
It’s your job to make sure your spouse and kids get to heaven. Do what you need to do.
 
Speak kindly and passionately to him about not being right with God. Ask him to ask the opinion of the priest as to whether or not it’s a sin. Send it in to “ask an Apologist” if he wants anonymity.

But don’t pressure him. Many adults fear confession. Forcing them to go is not helpful. He’s not a child. He has to come to it on his own.

Pray for him, and gently steer him to reconciliation.
 
It sounds as if you have already discussed this with him. Don’t push it. Wait. Let him decide when he will go. Peace.
 
pianistclare said:
Speak kindly and passionately to him about not being right with God. Ask him to ask the opinion of the priest as to whether or not it’s a sin. Send it in to “ask an Apologist” if he wants anonymity.

But don’t pressure him. Many adults fear confession. Forcing them to go is not helpful. He’s not a child. He has to come to it on his own.

Pray for him, and gently steer him to reconciliation.
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Well stated.
 
In the end this is between him and God. I would respect his wishes for the time being and trust him a little. Pressuring people to do something is just not always a good thing to do either. It can make situations difficult sometimes for the person and some may even feel threatened. I’m not saying he feels that way just that some might.
 
kimberly236 said:
My husband, a good man, committed a sin that I think could likely be a mortal sin. I am strongly encouraging him to go to Confession for it. He is convinced that, while a sin, it was a venial sin. He has privately asked God for forgiveness, and does not believe he needs to go to Confession for it. He said he will mention it at his next Confession, but that likely won’t be for quite some time, since he just went recently.
If I press hard enough, I believe I can pressure him into going. He wouldn’t be lying, as he is sorry, but is it right for me to get so involved in his relationship with God? He is a faithful Catholic. But I am scared he will go to hell for this, because if it was actually a mortal sin and he waits to confess it, he will have the additional sin of receiving Communion unworthily (and he won’t confess this, because he doesn’t think he committed a mortal sin to start with.)
Any advice?
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His walk w the Lord is his walk w the Lord. It is wonderful that he goes to church and confession. Mine doesn’t. If he told God he is sorry for the sin and that is real By God’s law-he is forgiven. By church law he wouldn’t be. If you were Jesus and you looked at his soul what would Jesus see. His child loving him and being sorry??
in Christ’s love
tweedlealice.
 
tweedlealice said:
His walk w the Lord is his walk w the Lord. It is wonderful that he goes to church and confession. Mine doesn’t. If he told God he is sorry for the sin and that is real By God’s law-he is forgiven. By church law he wouldn’t be. If you were Jesus and you looked at his soul what would Jesus see.
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You are making a false dichotomy here by pitting God vs. the Church.
 
drforjc said:
You are making a false dichotomy here by pitting God vs. the Church.
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+1

If he’s a baptized Catholic, he’s not someone who just is ignorant of what the Church (Christ’s church) teaches. Totally different scenario.
 
You can suggest confession to him, which you have already done. Otherwise, pressuring him is not a good idea. He is an adult and presumably already knows what he needs to do.
 
drforjc said:
You are making a false dichotomy here by pitting God vs. the Church.
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Hi
Christ gave us the 12 commandments. The CHURCH rules (mortal or venial) came later. I don’t know which “Council”.
What would Jesus do? If Baptized and Confirmed, Christ is in us.He is sorry for whatever and will check w priest but his confession w the Christ in His heart is not rejected by our Lord. Jesus trumps church rules. I did not get struck w lightening… The first church did not have church rules. It is so joyful to see a wife have a believing husband who goes to church and confession. Onward Christian soldiers.
in Christs love
tweedlealice
 
tweedlealice said:
Jesus trumps church rules.
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Actually, I would put this a different way.

Our personal interpretation of God’s mercy does not trump the Sacraments, or the teaching authority, that Christ established in His Church. It is not the job of the lay faithful to tell the Church what she should teach. We’re not here to teach the Pope. It is the job of the lay faithful to be obedient and to form our consciences in accordance with the Church, and to listen to her as we would listen to Christ Himself.

I would recommend you read this: catholic.com/documents/pillar-of-fire-pillar-of-truth
 
I’ve been in the situation where I’ve wanted to drag my husband by the ear to confession. I had to lay off and give him space about it. I also prayed for him. A LOT. Still do.

Recently after we had a huge fight, he asked me how he could get his faith back…in that circumstance, that’s where I felt that a door had opened and it allowed me the opportunity to encourage him to go to confession and return to the sacraments, which he did. He was a lot more at peace after this. He still has his issues that he has to work out himself, but one can see the difference in a person’s peace of mind with vs. without the sacraments.

These things can be distressing, we can say our peace, but we have to give them space to sort it out on their own. The greatest thing you can do in the meantime is offer up your prayers and sacrifices for him. That is just as powerful as words.
 
If I were you, I would express my worries to my husband and plead with him to go to Confession for the sake of your peace of mind. Ask him to do it as a favor to you since this is what it will take for you to stop worrying, even if he thinks your worry is unreasonable.
 
tweedlealice said:
Hi
Christ gave us the 12 commandments. The CHURCH rules (mortal or venial) came later. I don’t know which “Council”.
What would Jesus do? If Baptized and Confirmed, Christ is in us.He is sorry for whatever and will check w priest but his confession w the Christ in His heart is not rejected by our Lord. Jesus trumps church rules. I did not get struck w lightening… The first church did not have church rules. It is so joyful to see a wife have a believing husband who goes to church and confession. Onward Christian soldiers.
in Christs love
tweedlealice
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The Church “rules” came from Jesus, so by ignoring or disobeying the rules, you are ignoring and disobeying Christ. This includes the sacrament of penance, which Jesus instituted. You may want to “have Jesus in your heart” and confess like that, but that is NOT how Jesus wanted it done.
 
Thank you everyone. Let’s put this thread to rest now, please, and move on.

God’s blessings on everyone!

Kim
 
Sorry! I didn’t read the entire thread and only saw your post asking us to put this to rest after I posted my comment which I have now deleted! 🙂
 
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