Pressured to use birth control

[New_at_this]

Hello all

Iam at my wits end !!! I have a 9 wk old son and an 18mth old daughter … Needless to say am very nervous about having sex because am not sure about nfp…

Prior to having my children …DH and i didnt practise any form of contraception leading to 2 children in the 2 years we have been married

I conceived my son the very month i started my new job…my performance review wasnot stellar… On top of that i have a masters thesis that is just going no where :blush

Because am in africa i do not have access to nfp classes so i have taught myself the Billings method --------- but i seem to be wet all the time !!! i could live without sex because i would be sure i wasnt preg but its unfair to dh…

My obgyn has said i should just get the implant and all my friendds are steering me towards birth control…Please help

 

[New_at_this]

Oh btw am unconfortable with cervix position checks as i overbled after having my son and got a 2nd degree tear which just healed

 

[OSUbride0708]

Have you tried looking at sympto-thermal?
You are going to have to abstain a little bit more at first when you are just learning, or at least that’s what I’m prepared to do (I got pregnant 2 months after the wedding before I started charting lol).

 

[vppoole]

Have you looked into the sympto-thermal method? It takes a broader view at a woman’s fertility signs, and IMO I think it is more reliable than other methods of nfp.

Though it is best to learn by meeting in-person with trained nfp couples, I think you can order some helpful materials over the internet.

I can empathize with you on how difficult it can be to adhere to the Church’s teaching on sexuality in the midst of peer pressure to use birth control, contraceptives, etc. I was being picked on/misunderstood by some coworkers of mine this past year and it was gradually starting to get to me. However, I decided to see it as a chance to understand and pray for others and myself, to learn how to explain the faith better and, if anything at all, at least it was a test of my own fortitude.

Stick to doing the right thing! I am praying for you and your coworkers today.
Pax!

 

[Tinajo]

First off - congratulations on sticking to your convictions - there’s no need to give in as there are still plenty of other things you can look at!

Is your husband supportive about trying NFP? Talk to him, if you haven’t already, about your concerns.

Practical advice: I would also recommend the sympto-thermal method (often called STM). I no longer use it myself as I found the temperature-taking too onerous compared to the Billings method, but since you are having problems with Billings, the cross-checking that STM allows will most likely be a great help to you. NB You don’t need to do the cervix checks - there are 3 strands of information (cervix, mucus and temperature) which will help to cross-check, but there are separate rules for a temperature-only version.

The book I used to learn STM was The Art of Natural Family Planning by John F. Kippley and Sheila K. Kippley (if it’s too expensive on Amazon, try looking for older versions second-hand) which is very detailed. You need to purchase charts and a thermometer, and then you’re away

For support, you should have a look at the Couple to Couple League which also has the book and other ways of learning like correspondence courses, including some software to help you track.

You can also get machines which help you track things (I’ve heard of Ladycomp and other people have probably heard of more.

Hope that’s helpful - do say if you’d like more info or better links or something!

With my prayers that God will lead you,

Tinajo

 

[Jennifer_J]

online sympto thermal method:
nfpandmore.com

Don’t know if there are Creighton teachers in Africa, but they might try a long distance teaching situation? (medical model mucous method)
creightonmodel.com

Are you breastfeeding? If you are breastfeeding exclusivly (no suppliments, no paci’s, no long separations/sleeping through the night, etc) then more than likely you are not fertile and will remain that way for at least 3 months. If you can do mucous checks and there is no mucous or tacky mucous than more than likely safe. Adding the temp sign to mucous can be helpful, however, the temp raises AFTER ovulation so is best used as an indication of phase 3. Mucous is the best indication of returning fertility. Look for changes in the mucous–any changes. Chart them. NFP can be done postpartem, but it can be tricky…

 

[masondoggy]

I agree with the others about trying the sympto-thermal method. I taught myself the method right out of the book from the Couple to Couple league. They also have a home-study course that gives you support.

I can definitely understand the fear of getting pregnant again, been there done that. But remember, the whole point of NFP is to trust God and put it in His hands. He won’t give you any children that he doesn’t give you the Grace to handle. Don’t worry about what others think.

 

[flatlanderjenn]

Years before we had access to a Natural Family Planning class we used the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility with great success. You can order from Amazon.com, or maybe through her website tcoyf.com. Also, ccli.org/ has a book called The Art of Natural Family Planning you could order. I’ve never read it but want to.

I’ve been married just over 10 years, use NFP and have 3 kids. I have always been, and still am, pressured by my siblings, parents, “friends”, co-workers and OBGYN to use artifical contraception. The only one who supports our use of NFP is my husband and that’s because he’s experiencing how wonderful it is. Don’t give in to the outside world by stopping what your body does naturally and don’t be afraid to follow God’s Will.

 

[New_at_this]

My husband is supportive of NFP. He is catholic and considers this the only option available to us but he is so busy so i have to learn for the both of us … I do not mind since i will have to do most of the observations

thanks for all the responses …let me see how i can learn the creighton…Iam more inclined towards Billings and creighton

 

[mystagogia]

This seems crazy to me. All these methods you folks are talking about are methods of birth control. Everywhere the aim is the same: to be able to have recreational sex with preventing children from being conceived. You might as well use the pill from my perspective, it’s easier, better and more efficient.

This woman comes here feeling pressured to use birth control, and you merely suggest different types of birth control and difficult ones at that.

My feeling is that if you are going to go down this road, and I hope you don’t, then just go with the easiest and most effective type of birth control.

By making it harder on yourself to disobey the principle you don’t escape the fact that you’re disobeying the principle.

 

[agapewolf]

This seems crazy to me. All these methods you folks are talking about are methods of birth control. Everywhere the aim is the same: to be able to have recreational sex with preventing children from being conceived. You might as well use the pill from my perspective, it’s easier, better and more efficient.

This woman comes here feeling pressured to use birth control, and you merely suggest different types of birth control and difficult ones at that.

My feeling is that if you are going to go down this road, and I hope you don’t, then just go with the easiest and most effective type of birth control.

By making it harder on yourself to disobey the principle you don’t escape the fact that you’re disobeying the principle.

You’re completely missing what is actually a very very simple concept.

The ends don’t justify the means. The end might be the same: to avoid children for the time being.

There is a HUGE Difference between the way of getting there…using artificial contraception by perverting the sexual act,

and just not having sex.

and by the way, sex while not fertile is NOT just recreational sex.

 

[Vanny]

Don’t get an implant- I have a good friend whose whole hormonal system was messed up for years after having one of those put in- and removed. Then when they wanted a child it took them years to get pregnant. Those things are horrible!
She’s still suffering health problems that I suspect are a result of the implant- thyroid,ect.
Creighton has worked very well for me.

 

[kage_ar]

This seems crazy to me. All these methods you folks are talking about are methods of birth control. Everywhere the aim is the same: to be able to have recreational sex with preventing children from being conceived. You might as well use the pill from my perspective, it’s easier, better and more efficient.

This woman comes here feeling pressured to use birth control, and you merely suggest different types of birth control and difficult ones at that.

My feeling is that if you are going to go down this road, and I hope you don’t, then just go with the easiest and most effective type of birth control.

By making it harder on yourself to disobey the principle you don’t escape the fact that you’re disobeying the principle.

Seems the Catechism of the Catholic Church disagrees with you.

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2370.htm

**2370 **Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom.

 

[mepriaulx]

This seems crazy to me. All these methods you folks are talking about are methods of birth control. Everywhere the aim is the same: to be able to have recreational sex with preventing children from being conceived. You might as well use the pill from my perspective, it’s easier, better and more efficient.

This woman comes here feeling pressured to use birth control, and you merely suggest different types of birth control and difficult ones at that.

My feeling is that if you are going to go down this road, and I hope you don’t, then just go with the easiest and most effective type of birth control.

By making it harder on yourself to disobey the principle you don’t escape the fact that you’re disobeying the principle.

Hi mystagogia,
I used to feel the exact same way as you! However, I changed my mind when I learned that all forms of hormonal birth control (i.e. the pill, the implant, the patch, etc) have a high probability of causing a chemical abortion.

The pill works in three ways:

1. Suppression of ovulation (contraceptive)
2. Inhibiting sperm (contraceptive)
3. Thinning the endometrium (abortifacient)

Hormonal birth control thins the endometrium (the inner lining of the uterus) by depleting it of an important sugar, called glycogen. This in turn decreases the thickness of the endometrium, thus reducing its blood supply. In the event of conception occurring due to breakthrough ovulation (failure of the first two methods), the blastocyst may be prevented from implanting in the uterus (as a result of these changes in the endometrium), thus causing an early abortion.

Since some women do still get pregnant while on the pill, it is clear that breakthrough ovulation (and conception) is indeed occurring.

Here’s a letter signed by 26 obstetricians testifying to the abortifacient nature of hormonal birth control:
epm.org/articles/26doctor.html

To me, this was the most convincing argument against using hormonal birth controls. I think there are still good arguments to not use barriers, but I won’t go into those now.

If you decide to research this further, I want to warn you of one thing: beware of the terminology for the medical definition of “pregnancy”. In the 1970s, the medical definition of pregnancy was changed. Instead of pregnancy beginning at conception, it was redefined as beginning once a blastocyst (a new life) has *implanted *in the uterus. Many pharmaceutical companies that sell birth control use this definition of pregnancy as an excuse to advertise that their products “do not terminate a pregnancy”. While consistent with the medical definition, it is certainly misleading because people naturally assume that life begins at pregnancy which is not true, medically speaking.

Finally, I’d like to leave you with two more thoughts:

-Considering that a woman is fertile for ~40 years of her life, this is an exceptionally long time to be on any form of medication.

-Medicine should be taken when something is wrong. Fertility is not a disease that needs to be cured.

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts! You can email me at littlepreo@hotmail.com if you’d like.

-Mike

 

[mepriaulx]

Hello all

Iam at my wits end !!! I have a 9 wk old son and an 18mth old daughter … Needless to say am very nervous about having sex because am not sure about nfp…

Prior to having my children …DH and i didnt practise any form of contraception leading to 2 children in the 2 years we have been married

I conceived my son the very month i started my new job…my performance review wasnot stellar… On top of that i have a masters thesis that is just going no where :blush

Because am in africa i do not have access to nfp classes so i have taught myself the Billings method --------- but i seem to be wet all the time !!! i could live without sex because i would be sure i wasnt preg but its unfair to dh…

My obgyn has said i should just get the implant and all my friendds are steering me towards birth control…Please help

Hi,

Hang in there!

I personally like the sympto thermal method through the couple to couple league (www.ccli.org)). My favorite aspect their software which allows you to enter your muccous sign and temperature, and it does all the charting for you! I dont even have to remember any rules. I chart for my wife- this way she doesnt have to bother with it, and I get insider knowledge

As for your specific situation, I do not know much about NFP methods after pregnancy. BUT, I can recommend a blog that you will DEFINITELY be able to relate to. Its written by a woman who has converted to the Catholic Church and she has written several posts on NFP. It’s an extremely popular blog, called [conversiondiary.org](http://www.conversiondiary.com/)

I would recommend that you email her with your questions- she always responds to my emails!

-mike