Pride, humility, and self-actualization versus ambition, justification, and personal gain…

[BornAgain2010]

I of course am a Knight, as my signature suggests. This has been on my mind for some time now. As most of you have no doubt noticed, in addition to their works of charity and support to the Church, the Knights of Columbus also carry a high degree of ceremonialism and prestige. Personally, I value the principles of our Order – Charity, Unity, Fraternity, and Patriotism. That said, I also value the ‘pomp and circumstance’ side as well.

Elections for officer positions in the Council are coming up. I personally am being nominated for a Guard Position. I have been working hard, and plan to do even more for my Council and the Church in the coming months. I am anxious to be granted the honor of a Council Position. Not only for the thrill of prestige and status associated with the position, but also for a chance to be able to make things happen. With a position, I would be better-equipped to serve my Council and my Church in a greater capacity than if I were to simply remain at my current rank as a regular Knight. I admit, I am ambitious. I always want to further myself. Of course, we all like to think of ourselves as the “head honcho”. We like to think ourselves important as this gives us self-esteem. Self-esteem which is needed if we are to ever achieve self-actualization. When we are born, we are also instilled with a need to constantly better ourselves. The degree of this varies from person to person naturally. Some have that drive more than others. Self-esteem is also closely related to pride. Though pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, it can also be a positive quality. Pride need not be boastful or self-obsessed…nor should it be. Pride can also be humble. Pride in a job well done. Pride in the satisfaction of serving others. Pride in the accomplishments and self-perseverance to the attainment of one’s goals or that of a group to which one belongs. It is good to be proud of things, as this gives fulfillment. We were not meant to simply exist, but to thrive. Is it wrong to better one’s self…if it is done in the interest of self-less contribution in the near future? Or is that mere justification?

The Grand Knight (head of the Council), has a differing opinion than mine. His seems to be that he will do what needs to be done. If he earns an award, great. If not, great. His seems to be that of neutrality. Indeed, such humility is admirable. Humility is selfless-ness. Humility is putting one’s self and one’s needs as finality. That is, as a last concern. When self-denial is practiced, it frees one’s self up to better contribute to the group. However on occasion, it is fulfilling when one is granted awards as temporal tokens symbolic of their worth, achievement, and potential. Is it wrong to want to earn such awards? Is it wrong to reap what you sow? Or is that personal gain? Personal gain can make one ugly. It can set you against your friends, your family, or even lead you into a downward spiral of sin. Indeed if your sole purpose is acquisition alone, that is a less admirable quality. Still, if done for a greater purpose, it is admirable. Thus, advancing one’s self…advances the group. A machine is only as great as its parts, yes? An organization is no different. Productivity is a unified goal. Everyone works towards it. In so doing, we not only better ourselves, but others as well. It is of this form of self-actualization I think on. I want to be able to inspire others, the way others have inspired me. Return the favor, if you will.

Considering this, is it wrong if I want to try to earn awards (in order to inspire others)? In other words, if someone sees my ambition and my drive, they may be inspired to do likewise. Thus I will have satisfied my goal to inspire others. Is it wrong if I want to try to earn awards? Or would that still be pride and personal gain being covered up by justification?

 

[JRKH]

BA,
All that you express (quite well I might add) is something we all struggle with. In the end I think that it all depends on focus…
I tend to agree with your Grand Knight’s view. You do the work that needs to get done and whetever happens, happens. His focus is on the work and if there is some reward for that (other than the graces I mean) he accepts the reward, not for himself, but for the greater Glory of Christ. After all, that is the point of the KofC, right - To Glorify God?

If you seek after awards, recognition etc. then you are losing the proper focus. The focus shifts from “thee”(Christ) to “me” (self) and that can prove quite dangerous.
It’s one of those “slippery slope” kinds of things. You start out hoping for recognition only for your virtuous work, but over time it can turn into only doing the work necessary for recognition.
It’s like a politician who starts out thinking he won’t compromise his ideals but then finds himself running after popularity instead of fighting for his ideals…

Best to focus on the work at hand and simply accept graciously and with true humility those rewards that come your way.

Peace
James

 

[smichhertz]

Brother Knight,

Nothing about what you are doing is inherently wrong. Here’s a good rule of thumb: Always remember that the end goal is God. So do it to glorify God. So in other words, your thought process should be “I want to get on council so that I can do more great things for God and give greater glory to His name” rather than “I want to get on council so I can have more power”, etc.

It sounds to me like you have the right idea, just remember to always keep the focus on God and you will be fine.

 

[puzzleannie]

cannot vote, meaningless question
“bad” what does that mean?
immoral? then no not necessarily
spiritual beneficial attitude? no not necessarily
I would not personally spend much time speculating about what I intend to do, might do, want to do if this or that happens, and would direct that energy to consider what am I called to do today and go do it.
if being a Knight helps you do that, great, I have huge respect and affection for them and all they do here
(for a long time they were the only ones doing anything organized for our youth, for instance)
I am sure there is a lot more motivating them than the outward signs of their commitment such as feathered hats and medals (but I never knew a guy over age 3 who was not excited at the prospect of carrying a real sword).

 

[JRKH]

OFF Topic…Prayer Request…

As Knights - might I ask prayers for my Uncle and Godfather who is a Knight himself?
He is suffering with cancer and is very near to being called home.
His name is Ray and a finer knight, catholic, uncle or godfather you could never find.

Peace
James

 

[BornAgain2010]

OFF Topic…Prayer Request…

As Knights - might I ask prayers for my Uncle and Godfather who is a Knight himself?
He is suffering with cancer and is very near to being called home.
His name is Ray and a finer knight, catholic, uncle or godfather you could never find.

Peace
James

Indeed, I will pray for my Brother Knight.

 

[BornAgain2010]

Brother Knight,

Nothing about what you are doing is inherently wrong. Here’s a good rule of thumb: Always remember that the end goal is God. So do it to glorify God. So in other words, your thought process should be “I want to get on council so that I can do more great things for God and give greater glory to His name” rather than “I want to get on council so I can have more power”, etc.

It sounds to me like you have the right idea, just remember to always keep the focus on God and you will be fine.

Well, the reason I want to get on Council is to have more power. Not for myself, but for others. If I had a higher position, I would have the power to contribute more. THereby helping others. If had more power, I think I could do more stuff. I could suggest new charities and plan more events. More than what I am presently capable of (as some stuff is for Council level only).

But see, is that still the right reasons if I do it for contribution? or am I still being blinded by justification?

 

[John21652]

Well, the reason I want to get on Council is to have more power. Not for myself, but for others. If I had a higher position, I would have the power to contribute more. THereby helping others. If had more power, I think I could do more stuff. I could suggest new charities and plan more events. More than what I am presently capable of (as some stuff is for Council level only).

But see, is that still the right reasons if I do it for contribution? or am I still being blinded by justification?

When you go about the business of the Knights of Columbus, are you doing it for yourself and your own self aggrandisement, or are you simply doing what the Knights of Columbus does, for the sake of the organisation and what it represents and achieves? Are you, in other words, simply trying to make yourself feel good? Do you want higher office so it will make yourself feel good? Do you want to have more power so you can do more of the things you want to do, your way, so it will all make you feel good? Are you not feeling good enough with what ever role the organisation allots you?

There are many so called “leaders” throughout history who have wanted to do things their way, supposedly to do things ‘better’, but always their way. They have been labelled as megolomaniacs. Hitler was one. He wanted a bigger and better Germany for Germans, the ‘master race’ and he was intent on doing it his way. He was, as we all know, corrupted by power. If your heart is set on doing what makes you, personally, feel good, then giving you power will corrupt you, because there will be no limits as to the ways and means by which you will always try to make yourself feel good. If you need medals and ribbons and high office so you can recieve pats on the back, all the while justifying what you are doing by saying you are doing it for others, then your motives are wrong.

 

[BornAgain2010]

When you go about the business of the Knights of Columbus, are you doing it for yourself and your own self aggrandisement, or are you simply doing what the Knights of Columbus does, for the sake of the organisation and what it represents and achieves? Are you, in other words, simply trying to make yourself feel good? Do you want higher office so it will make yourself feel good? Do you want to have more power so you can do more of the things you want to do, your way, so it will all make you feel good? Are you not feeling good enough with what ever role the organisation allots you?

There are many so called “leaders” throughout history who have wanted to do things their way, supposedly to do things ‘better’, but always their way. They have been labelled as megolomaniacs. Hitler was one. He wanted a bigger and better Germany for Germans, the ‘master race’ and he was intent on doing it his way. He was, as we all know, corrupted by power. If your heart is set on doing what makes you, personally, feel good, then giving you power will corrupt you, because there will be no limits as to the ways and means by which you will always try to make yourself feel good. If you need medals and ribbons and high office so you can recieve pats on the back, all the while justifying what you are doing by saying you are doing it for others, then your motives are wrong.

I do it for several reasons. One, you’re supposed to help out when possible. Its courtesy, charity, etc. it’s just what you do. We’re all called to be Kingdom-builders. And of course I also do it because I believe in the works that our Order does and what we as Brothers represent. In other words I do it because I want to and it’s the right thing to do.
I suppose the real reason I want higher office and awards are so that I’ll be taken more seriously. It feels like Im just a pair of hands. Granted a pair of hands can do much in regards to contribution. However, I guess it’s really more an issue of self-esteem.

On Holy Thursday, the Knights did the Honor Guard in the Procession and all. The rest of us Knights that were there (it was only for those picked by GK himself), I was lucky enough to have been picked. The rest of us served as Ushers (though I Usher every Sunday anyway). But watching the Knights take up the gifts, and salute in reverence, and escort the Procession…it really was moving. Indeed, it felt great to be in the company of my Brothers. It was truly inspirational. To me the Knights represent hope. Hope that, with everything wrong in the world such as corruption, contradiction, abuse of power, war, and all other sorts of bad stuff…in spite of all that, God still watches out for us and keeps us on our path. Seeing the Knights and the work they do is what inspired me to join. Seeing them helping out at nursing homes and the Hospital Ministry, helping the Priests and Deacons at Church, and even just their fellow man. That is what inspired me initially. The charity. Charity is not simply just alms-giving. Charity is also a form of love. Love for fellow man, love for God, love to helping others and volunteerism. I figured that if I joined, I could be an example of hope for others, as the Knights had been an example of hope for me.

Perhaps Im simply over-thinking all this. I just hope and pray that God guides me to overcome this time of confusion and that he sets me on the right path. Im sure all this will be sorted out eventually. It should all come out right in the end. In the meantime I’ll keep saying the Rosary and that it may help me to be more humble and not to worry about worldly rewards or offices, and that I may better live my faith.

 

[BornAgain2010]

There are many so called “leaders” throughout history who have wanted to do things their way, supposedly to do things ‘better’, but always their way. They have been labelled as megolomaniacs. Hitler was one. He wanted a bigger and better Germany for Germans, the ‘master race’ and he was intent on doing it his way. He was, as we all know, corrupted by power. If your heart is set on doing what makes you, personally, feel good, then giving you power will corrupt you, because there will be no limits as to the ways and means by which you will always try to make yourself feel good. If you need medals and ribbons and high office so you can recieve pats on the back, all the while justifying what you are doing by saying you are doing it for others, then your motives are wrong.

You automatically assume me to be a megolomaniac and cast me in with Hitler’s lot?
Thats a rather harsh judgement to be coming from a Christian. Shame on you…tsk, tsk

 

[John21652]

You automatically assume me to be a megolomaniac and cast me in with Hitler’s lot?
Thats a rather harsh judgement to be coming from a Christian. Shame on you…tsk, tsk

Are you admitting that is why you do it?

After all, I only posed the question.

I have another question.

Why did it take you 34 minutes to dream up your second response to my post? Did it take you that long to try and find a chink in the armour of a true Catholic/Soul searching/Christian response to your post? And with a conjectural question at that!! Bit slow today, are we?

 

[BornAgain2010]

Are you admitting that is why you do it?

After all, I only posed the question.

I have another question.

Why did it take you 34 minutes to dream up your second response to my post? Did it take you that long to try and find a chink in the armour of a true Catholic/Soul searching/Christian response to your post? And with a conjectural question at that!! Bit slow today, are we?

Actually I had to stop and go eat dinner, you ****ing bushman. IF you must know, I had chicken with mashed potatoes. (and now Im posting before I go to sleep)

and no Im not admiting thats why. it just baffles me that you could automatically assume or even think to pose the question of fascism.

but as nice as it is just to help someone out of kindness (which is indeed one of the best feelings in the world), its still cool though when the rare chance that a medal or a Council Seat comes your way.

^
That last part is what I was trying to convey. Its not wrong to like rewards when given to you is it? or even to anticipate them? After all we as Christians wait in anticipation for the coming of Heaven.

 

[John21652]

Actually I had to stop and go eat dinner, you ****ing bushman. IF you must know, I had chicken with mashed potatoes. (and now Im posting before I go to sleep)

Yum. Dead chook and mashed spuds are one of my favourites!

and no Im not admiting thats why. it just baffles me that you could automatically assume or even think to pose the question of fascism.

I didn’t assume. If I had assumed, then I would have made a statement and not posed a question!

but as nice as it is just to help someone out of kindness (which is indeed one of the best feelings in the world), its still cool though when the rare chance that a medal or a Council Seat comes your way.

That’s true. Medals, ribbons, sashes and even promotions let you know that in the eyes of others you are doing good and so you know you are on the right track. As long as the medlas, ribbons, sashes and promotions are not the motivating factor.

^

That last part is what I was trying to convey. Its not wrong to like rewards when given to you is it? or even to anticipate them? After all we as Christians wait in anticipation for the coming of Heaven.

No, it’s not at all wrong to ‘like’ rewards. We all like to feel appreciated, after all. However, the danger in aiming for rewards can mean you are pandering to the crowd, the reward givers, instead of doing what we should be doing because we know it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes doing the right thing means not doing the popular thing and we may gain derision, not rewards. Should we just aim for rewards and popular acclaim, we may not always do the right thing. True leadership means being willing and able to stand up for what can sometimes be unpopular.

 

[BornAgain2010]

Yum. Dead chook and mashed spuds are one of my favourites!

I didn’t assume. If I had assumed, then I would have made a statement and not posed a question!

That’s true. Medals, ribbons, sashes and even promotions let you know that in the eyes of others you are doing good and so you know you are on the right track. As long as the medlas, ribbons, sashes and promotions are not the motivating factor.^
No, it’s not at all wrong to ‘like’ rewards. We all like to feel appreciated, after all. However, the danger in aiming for rewards can mean you are pandering to the crowd, the reward givers, instead of doing what we should be doing because we know it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes doing the right thing means not doing the popular thing and we may gain derision, not rewards. Should we just aim for rewards and popular acclaim, we may not always do the right thing. True leadership means being willing and able to stand up for what can sometimes be unpopular.

Exactly, thats what I was trying to say. And while rewards indeed make one feel good and even serve as validation, I dont make them my first priority. If anything just a rare treat every now and again.

And I apologize for the ‘bushman’ remark. That was extremely rude and indeed behaviour unbecoming of a Knight. It was also very un-Christian. I humbly apologize. Friends?

 

[ndeparis88]

I of course am a Knight, as my signature suggests. This has been on my mind for some time now. As most of you have no doubt noticed, in addition to their works of charity and support to the Church, the Knights of Columbus also carry a high degree of ceremonialism and prestige. Personally, I value the principles of our Order – Charity, Unity, Fraternity, and Patriotism. That said, I also value the ‘pomp and circumstance’ side as well.

Elections for officer positions in the Council are coming up. I personally am being nominated for a Guard Position. I have been working hard, and plan to do even more for my Council and the Church in the coming months. I am anxious to be granted the honor of a Council Position. Not only for the thrill of prestige and status associated with the position, but also for a chance to be able to make things happen. With a position, I would be better-equipped to serve my Council and my Church in a greater capacity than if I were to simply remain at my current rank as a regular Knight. I admit, I am ambitious. I always want to further myself. Of course, we all like to think of ourselves as the “head honcho”. We like to think ourselves important as this gives us self-esteem. Self-esteem which is needed if we are to ever achieve self-actualization. When we are born, we are also instilled with a need to constantly better ourselves. The degree of this varies from person to person naturally. Some have that drive more than others. Self-esteem is also closely related to pride. Though pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, it can also be a positive quality. Pride need not be boastful or self-obsessed…nor should it be. Pride can also be humble. Pride in a job well done. Pride in the satisfaction of serving others. Pride in the accomplishments and self-perseverance to the attainment of one’s goals or that of a group to which one belongs. It is good to be proud of things, as this gives fulfillment. We were not meant to simply exist, but to thrive. Is it wrong to better one’s self…if it is done in the interest of self-less contribution in the near future? Or is that mere justification?

The Grand Knight (head of the Council), has a differing opinion than mine. His seems to be that he will do what needs to be done. If he earns an award, great. If not, great. His seems to be that of neutrality. Indeed, such humility is admirable. Humility is selfless-ness. Humility is putting one’s self and one’s needs as finality. That is, as a last concern. When self-denial is practiced, it frees one’s self up to better contribute to the group. However on occasion, it is fulfilling when one is granted awards as temporal tokens symbolic of their worth, achievement, and potential. Is it wrong to want to earn such awards? Is it wrong to reap what you sow? Or is that personal gain? Personal gain can make one ugly. It can set you against your friends, your family, or even lead you into a downward spiral of sin. Indeed if your sole purpose is acquisition alone, that is a less admirable quality. Still, if done for a greater purpose, it is admirable. Thus, advancing one’s self…advances the group. A machine is only as great as its parts, yes? An organization is no different. Productivity is a unified goal. Everyone works towards it. In so doing, we not only better ourselves, but others as well. It is of this form of self-actualization I think on. I want to be able to inspire others, the way others have inspired me. Return the favor, if you will.

Considering this, is it wrong if I want to try to earn awards (in order to inspire others)? In other words, if someone sees my ambition and my drive, they may be inspired to do likewise. Thus I will have satisfied my goal to inspire others. Is it wrong if I want to try to earn awards? Or would that still be pride and personal gain being covered up by justification?

Hello Brother Knight,

I think in answer to your question I wold first like to congratulate you on your nomination. Next, I would like to talk about my Grandfather. He was a 32 year vet of the Army. he got a lot of medals and ribbons, but he never cared about them. To him he said he was just serving his country. He made it out where his fallen brothers didn’t, he thought the medals should be given to them. Humility is a great thing. I learned that at an early age medals are just medals, while they show an achievement, the greater reward is the affect of that achievement. Helping people, giving back to the community. I am working with my Church and Youth Ministry as part of my areas for the Knights. I just hope to help people, the youth that will carry on torches. I don’t think it is wring to be ambitious. But the trick is not just be ambitious because of just yourself, but to work towards gaining stature to help and give back. I wasn’t able to go into the Military to serve my country, but I found the Knights. So I’m not only going to show my country, but I’m serving God as well. I know at only the age of 22 I have been blessed with many achievements. But more are still to come. There is always more to learn and there is a supreme peace to be had, and it is a great thing to share with others. I’m going for my second degree soon, and it makes me feel closer to the place I left. If your intentions are truly honorable then what have you to fear, it is God’s will that he sees fit to reward you with things.

 

[John21652]

Exactly, thats what I was trying to say. And while rewards indeed make one feel good and even serve as validation, I dont make them my first priority. If anything just a rare treat every now and again.

Well said!

And I apologize for the ‘bushman’ remark. That was extremely rude and indeed behaviour unbecoming of a Knight. It was also very un-Christian. I humbly apologize. Friends?

No need to apologise. I thought it was quite funny!
Best mates

 

[BornAgain2010]

Well said!

No need to apologise. I thought it was quite funny!
Best mates

Also as I understand it, bushmen of the various Aboriginee tribes are rather highly respected. So by calling you a bushman, I guess it was sorta low-brow humor.

Best mates