Pride, Humility and Self-Esteem

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How does the sin of pride and the virtue of humility relate to self-esteem? It seems that to esteem oneself too highly could be pride. On the other hand if we have too little self-esteem, it can lead us to be argumentative or shy.

What about a case where someone is so afraid of embarassment that they can’t go about their normal lives and do good works due to shyness? I’ve always thought of those situations as being overly humble, but now I’m wondering if fear of embarassment can be pride.

They’re supposed to be opposites, why are they so interrelated? Anyway thanks for help with this, not sure if this is actually a matter of sin (pride) or a psychological issue or a bit of both.
 
I would say that worrying about what others think before taking any action is more related to pride than humility. IMO, a truly humble person is not doing actions for praise or glory or recognition of any kind, so why would they spend time dwelling on the possibility of a negative recognition? A more prideful person IMO would spend more time focused inward on “What will people think of me?”

I think that realizing that we should be trying to please God rather than others will allow us to be more humble and possibly raise self-esteem. If doing well before the Lord is your main goal, then little digs from other people don’t matter as much or at all. You won’t need to worry if your clothes or house or even your spouse is good enough for some arbitrary standard.

As part of my conversion journey I realized that pride was my BIG sin that held me back in so many areas of my life. I can’t go here because what if the people judge me or my clothes. I can’t try something new because what if I’m not great at it. I have to compete, compete, compete so that I’ll be the “best” at whatever. What a waste of many years and so much effort. I realized that God is not going to judge me on any of these stupid things in my earthly life and His standard and judgment should matter the most to me. Sure I still “relapse” regularly, but I’m much happier and more confident now every single day. I think that translates into better self-esteem with less pride.
 
Neil_Anthony said:
How does the sin of pride and the virtue of humility relate to self-esteem? It seems that to esteem oneself too highly could be pride. On the other hand if we have too little self-esteem, it can lead us to be argumentative or shy.

What about a case where someone is so afraid of embarassment that they can’t go about their normal lives and do good works due to shyness? I’ve always thought of those situations as being overly humble, but now I’m wondering if fear of embarassment can be pride.

They’re supposed to be opposites, why are they so interrelated? Anyway thanks for help with this, not sure if this is actually a matter of sin (pride) or a psychological issue or a bit of both.
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I think that a truly humble person must have good self-esteem because he sees all things including himself in God’s light. Where humility is concerned, the idea of “holding oneself in TOO high esteem” is not likely, because his opinion of himself is based in reality.

There is a difference between someone who is conceited and the reality based self-esteem. The conceited person is secretly insecure about his talents. So people can fall under the reality base ( “I am not good at anything”) or over it( “I am the best”). Glorifying God for the good that others do, even if it is a better than you can do, is holding oneself and OTHERS in the GOD’S esteem. We always know that we are good at something, maybe not the best, but all is in GOD’S plan. We WILL make mistakes, but who cares more than us who are so SELF-CONSCIOUS 🤷 😛 Accepting this (integrating it into your thinking will take time, prayer) will make it easier for you to forget yourself and being embarrassed.

Psycholgical problems ( fear, overt shyness, insecurity) CAN interfere with spiritual development. Just don’t give up—I haven’t!:gopray: Lisa
 
Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity. Pride doesn’t mean we should try to do our best.

**Humility **is a quality by which a person considering his own defects has a lowly opinion of himself and willingly submits himself to God and to others for God’s sake. It doesn’t mean that we are worth less relative to others or unworthy of compliments, success, etc.

Self-esteem is having a proper understanding that we are made in God’s image and God loves us perfectly. It doesn’t mean that we should be unhumble or prideful.

Like so much sin, when we mess up any part of our life, it messes up everything and leads to poor understanding.
 
Humility and meekness are often misunderstood.
Humility is knowing who I am. It is neither an overestimation or underestimation of personal abilities. This knowledge enhances rather than destroys self-esteem.
Meekness is strength under control. When a person is meek, he/she has no need of exploitation or having things his/her way.
Jesus describes himself as meek and humble of heart. I do not have the name of the painting but it is of Jesus as he is being stripped for the crucifixion. What strikes me about the painting is despite the humiliation of the cross, Jesus is shown as confident, aware of who He is.
 
Thank you very much for the comments.

I have a question about fearing what other people will think of you. And this ties into the ‘Litany of Humility’. In that prayer we pray to be delivered from the fear of suffering rebukes. But when someone doesn’t care that others are offended by him and rebuke him, isn’t that an example of pride rather than humility? Isn’t it wrong to ignore the protests of others about our actions that offend them?
 
Neil_Anthony said:
Thank you very much for the comments.

I have a question about fearing what other people will think of you. And this ties into the ‘Litany of Humility’. In that prayer we pray to be delivered from the fear of suffering rebukes. But when someone doesn’t care that others are offended by him and rebuke him, isn’t that an example of pride rather than humility? Isn’t it wrong to ignore the protests of others about our actions that offend them?
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One of the hardest things Jesus calls us to is reconciliation. “If when you bring your gift to the altar, there recall that your brother has a grievance against you; go first, be reconciled and then bring your gift to the altar.”
You ask a difficult question that requires self examination. Why is the person offended? It takes humility to approach somebody who is angry with us and ask for a sit-down talk. Reconciliation does not mean capitulation or denial of core values. It does involve dialogue, talking across differences and seeking peace even when we may disagree with one another.
 
Neil_Anthony said:
Thank you very much for the comments.

I have a question about fearing what other people will think of you. And this ties into the ‘Litany of Humility’. In that prayer we pray to be delivered from the fear of suffering rebukes. But when someone doesn’t care that others are offended by him and rebuke him, isn’t that an example of pride rather than humility? Isn’t it wrong to ignore the protests of others about our actions that offend them?
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IMO, I wouldn’t ignore the protests of others whom I offend in a attempt to avoid conflict—I can see where this would irritate people. To me, praying to be “delivered from the fear of suffering rebukes” does not mean avoiding conflict, but rather being truly concerned about the feelings of others— admitting when you have been wrong, and wanting to make amends.🙂
 
Some notes on Humility:

St. Therese - the Little Flower::
“It seems to me that humility is truth. I do not know whether I am humble, but I do know that I see the truth in all things”

St. Faustina wrote:

P. 1503:
When, at the beginning of my religious life, following the novitiate, I began to exercise myself particularly in humility, the humiliations that God sent me were not enough for me. And so, in my excessive zeal, I looked for more of them on my own, and I often represented myself to my superiors other than I was in reality and spoke of miseries of which I had no notion. But a short time later, Jesus gave me to know that humility is only the truth. From that time on, I changed my ideas, faithfully following the light of Jesus. I learned that if a soul is with Jesus, He will not permit it to err.
 
water said:
Some notes on Humility:

St. Therese - the Little Flower::
“It seems to me that humility is truth. I do not know whether I am humble, but I do know that I see the truth in all things”
I really like the spirituality of St Therese—thank you for writing that quote. 👍
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water said:
Some notes on Humility:

St. Therese - the Little Flower::
“It seems to me that humility is truth. I do not know whether I am humble, but I do know that I see the truth in all things”

I like the spirituality of St. Therese—thanks for the quote
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I love this little gem: “Humility isn’t thinking less of oneself of of oneself less.”

IOW, it’s knowing who and what we are in God’s eyes.

Really, it’s just that simple.
 
I wonder how St. Therese knew that she could see the truth. I imagine that being able to see how you really are in the eyes of God would help you appraise yourself so as to not over-sell or under-sell yourself.

I have no idea whether in my work I’ve been blatantly over-representing myself as better than I am because of pride or maybe the opposite, being too hard on myself because I’m afraid of others rebuking me for being too proud.

Or in social situations, do I offend God by trying too hard to interact more with people when I don’t have a good people-personality, or is it the opposite, is fear of embarassment preventing me from reaching out to people as God wants me to. I wish I could just ‘see the truth’ it would make things so much easier.

I kind of wish I just knew that God didn’t expect much from me, it would make life so much easier. I could just put it all in his hands and give up trying to do anything myself. But then I’m sure that would be laziness. :rolleyes: Please pray for me I’m having a lot of difficulty with some things.
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water:
Some notes on Humility:

St. Therese - the Little Flower::
“It seems to me that humility is truth. I do not know whether I am humble, but I do know that I see the truth in all things”
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Della said:
I love this little gem: “Humility isn’t thinking less of oneself of of oneself less.”

IOW, it’s knowing who and what we are in God’s eyes.

Really, it’s just that simple.
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Wow I’ve been spending so much time thinking of ME, maybe that’s just it. But if you don’t think of yourself a lot how do you come to know what you are in God’s eyes? How do you know if you’re the servant who was given 10 talents or 1 talent?

(Sorry, I’m not trying to be argumentative, I just really need answers badly…)
 
Neil_Anthony said:
Wow I’ve been spending so much time thinking of ME, maybe that’s just it. But if you don’t think of yourself a lot how do you come to know what you are in God’s eyes? How do you know if you’re the servant who was given 10 talents or 1 talent?

(Sorry, I’m not trying to be argumentative, I just really need answers badly…)
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God wants us to think of ourselves and wants us to be able to see who we really are. Pray and ask God to help you see the way He sees you.
 
I have long thought of humility as being the right estimation and understanding, insight of reality, realities and Reality…hence in the humble, pride and self esteem have true perspective. It is so very hard to know if one is truly humble and not proud, if one’s self esteem is rightful or out of proportion. Personally, I would be absolutely loathe to state that I am humble and not proud and that my self esteem is not out of proportion. I dont know and rely on God to effect what needs to be effected…and I wont necessarily know about it or be able to spell it out. I really dont know! Interesting question though that triggered reflection.

Blessings and Peace…Barb:)
 
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