Priest Chatting With Kids During Mass..?

[dailey]

I know some churches dismiss kids (under the age of 5) during mass to learn about the scriptures…then bring them back during the Our Father. I don’t know when or why this started, personally, I think it’s a bad idea but that’s just me. At any rate, we have 2 priest at our parish. One of them quickly dismisses the kids and when it’s time for them to come back, does is discreetly. However, the other priest chats with the kids before they get dismissed and then chats with them when they get back. And then we are always told to clap for the kids as they turn around and show us their drawings.

I just don’t get it. Mass is not playtime and I find it very, very upsetting, for lack of a better word, that these kids are not being taught to have the UTMOST respect for mass service. This priest did mention that if anyone found his “chattyness” too much to let him know. I admit, I have been tempted to write him a brief letter stating my feelings (probably would never do it though because I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings). Lastly, what I find as really surprising…is that most of the parishioners laugh and clap and seem to enjoy this mini “break” in mass??

Just wanted to throw this out there to see what you all have to say…

 

[Mintaka]

People are programmed to find kids cute, and a good thing that we are! So of course some people will enjoy it.

But it’s a distraction, even if it’s a cute distraction, and it treats the kids like they’re not full Catholics and human beings. Kids need religious instruction and/or Sunday School, but they need it outside Mass. They don’t need some weird pseudo-catechumenate, especially since they should all be baptized Catholics.

 

[Jeanne_S]

I know some churches dismiss kids (under the age of 5) during mass to learn about the scriptures…then bring them back during the Our Father. I don’t know when or why this started, personally, I think it’s a bad idea but that’s just me. At any rate, we have 2 priest at our parish. One of them quickly dismisses the kids and when it’s time for them to come back, does is discreetly. However, the other priest chats with the kids before they get dismissed and then chats with them when they get back. And then we are always told to clap for the kids as they turn around and show us their drawings.

I just don’t get it. Mass is not playtime and I find it very, very upsetting, for lack of a better word, that these kids are not being taught to have the UTMOST respect for mass service. This priest did mention that if anyone found his “chattyness” too much to let him know. I admit, I have been tempted to write him a brief letter stating my feelings (probably would never do it though because I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings). Lastly, what I find as really surprising…is that most of the parishioners laugh and clap and seem to enjoy this mini “break” in mass??

Just wanted to throw this out there to see what you all have to say…

Unfortunately this is the norm in a lot of parishes.I experience this in my registered parish,but for different reasons. As a result,my husband and I have started frequenting another parish nearby,it is much more tradition,much smaller and more serene.We are pretty involved in our registered parish,however,are finding we much prefer the latter.
Having said that,it sounds as if your priest is open to suggestion,so yes I would contact him and voice your concerns.

 

[dailey]

Oh, I totally agree, kids ARE cute!! .

I have a 6yo who sits with us for the whole mass. I would hate for her to miss it and luckily she has never wanted to go with the other kids to do the crafts.

 

[7_Sorrows]

Chatting with the kids before they are dismissed is one thing, but also when they return might be a bit too much. Maybe you could write a suggestion anonymously? I would find it a distraction. At my parish the children quietly return to their families.

 

[Havard]

AFAIK, it’s not an abuse.

1. Nevertheless, in Masses of this kind it is necessary to take great care that the children present do not feel neglected because of their inability to participate or to understand what happens and what is proclaimed in the celebration. Some account should be taken of their presence:* for example, by speaking to them directly in the introductory comments* (as at the beginning and the end of Mass) and at some point in the homily.

Directory for Masses With Children, November 1, 1973, Congregation for Divine Worship

As for over-chattiness and applauding for artwork concerns, well, just talk to your priest. After all, he did say he was open to feedback.

 

[baliano]

Way back when I was a kid there was a kid’s Mass, happened to be at 0900, during which the Homily and occasional teaching emphasis was directed at and geared to the kids. This was pre-sixties so it was a departure from the TLM. Some parishes still follow a similar practice but the “requirement” for kids to attend a specific Mass if possible is practically non-existent.

I’m sure that in this modern world the Priest is trying to catch the kids when and if he can for a teaching moment. We adults should be tolerant of any such effort.

 

[TimothyH]

I don’t agree with sending kids away during Mass. There is no good reason.

Children nowadays are not taught to sit still and be quiet but are given almost constant stimulation. They can’t function unless they have video’s in the back of the minivan and headphones in their ears as they get older. They need to be taught how to sit still and be quiet when time and place demand it and no time and place demand it more than Church.

Sitting still aside, there is no theological reason why they should not be exposed to Mass or should only be exposed to parts of the Mass. They should be present for the word of God, all the prayers, and see mom and dad giving money.

Part of the problem with misbehaved children is that they are kept in the back. No kid wants to look at some guys back or the back of some lady’s head. They should be seated in the front row where they can see the priest and the servers. The best behaved children at my parish all sit in the front rows. The ones in the back are making all the noise.

-Tim-

 

[dailey]

Way back when I was a kid there was a kid’s Mass, happened to be at 0900, during which the Homily and occasional teaching emphasis was directed at and geared to the kids. This was pre-sixties so it was a departure from the TLM. Some parishes still follow a similar practice but the “requirement” for kids to attend a specific Mass if possible is practically non-existent.

I’m sure that in this modern world the Priest is trying to catch the kids when and if he can for a teaching moment. We adults should be tolerant of any such effort.

I TOTALLY agree with “catch the kids”…but that is what they are supposing to be doing in the back of church when they are dismissed, not in the middle of mass. IMHO, it downplays the importance and sacredness of mass. Example…a group of tweens last week took a selfie after church. I found it in bad taste, especially since the blessed sacrament was in the background. What ever happened to teaching our children to show the utmost respect in church??

 

[SecretGarden]

So often priests are removed from their congregations so if he chats with the children, he is showing them that he cares and it helps him to develop a relationship with them. We are wanting our children to remain inside the church in the future and if you make them feel welcome, they are more apt to stay long term. If they are pushed aside like the other priest does, then he is at risk at seeing the kids leave. I have seen it happen numerous times.

That said, I would keep an discrete eye on the chatty priest as well. By making sure he doesn’t favour one particular child or a particular gender, or a specific age group etc. 9.9 times out of ten, it is fine but it is that 0.1% that you do have to be careful and it is better to keep an discrete eye and be safe verses keeping a blind eye and have something happen.

I would do this with all people in leadership who has access to children for safety sake.

 

[dailey]

I don’t agree with sending kids away during Mass. There is no good reason.

Children nowadays are not taught to sit still and be quiet but are given almost constant stimulation. They can’t function unless they have video’s in the back of the minivan and headphones in their ears as they get older. They need to be taught how to sit still and be quiet when time and place demand it and no time and place demand it more than Church.

Sitting still aside, there is no theological reason why they should not be exposed to Mass or should only be exposed to parts of the Mass. They should be present for the word of God, all the prayers, and see mom and dad giving money.

Part of the problem with misbehaved children is that they are kept in the back. No kid wants to look at some guys back or the back of some lady’s head. They should be seated in the front row where they can see the priest and the servers. The best behaved children at my parish all sit in the front rows. The ones in the back are making all the noise.

-Tim-

Do you go to my church, lol??? We sit in the front row and I cant tell you how many times I’ve had people come up to me and my husband after mass and tell me how well behaved our kids are. My daughter said to me one time “of course we don’t misbehave, we are in church” She could not understand why anyone would make a big deal about it, lol

Your reply about everything else was spot on.

 

[dailey]

So often priests are removed from their congregations so if he chats with the children, he is showing them that he cares and it helps him to develop a relationship with them. We are wanting our children to remain inside the church in the future and if you make them feel welcome, they are more apt to stay long term. If they are pushed aside like the other priest does, then he is at risk at seeing the kids leave. I have seen it happen numerous times.

That said, I would keep an discrete eye on the chatty priest as well. By making sure he doesn’t favour one particular child or a particular gender, or a specific age group etc. 9.9 times out of ten, it is fine but it is that 0.1% that you do have to be careful and it is better to keep an discrete eye and be safe verses keeping a blind eye and have something happen.

I would do this with all people in leadership who has access to children for safety sake.

Yikes, that is not even where my mind was going. I have no worries about him, in that regards.

 

[namax91]

There are at least two parishes in my town that do this. I think it’s technically allowed, for the children to have their own Liturgy of the Word, but I’m pretty sure it has to be focused on the Mass readings that the adults are hearing, and not just “Bible stories” such as Noah’s Ark or Jonah. (Unless the readings are about those stories.) I think it’s important for kids to understand what’s going on but maybe it is better if it’s done outside of the Mass. I know I shouldn’t think horrible things like this, but I have to admit I worry that a creepy priest might use this as an opportunity for abuse. Even though it’s led by a layperson, I worry about the priest who is not currently celebrating the Mass taking the kids to his office or something. I also find it distracting when they gather the kids and sing that blessing song but whatever. My parish, as “Novus ordo” as it is, they don’t do this.

PS,

This one visiting priest at a parish that we go sometimes attend chats with the young
altar servers during the readings. I thought you would be asking about this kind of thing.
I honestly think that’s extremely rude to the lector.

 

[baliano]

I TOTALLY agree with “catch the kids”…but that is what they are supposing to be doing in the back of church when they are dismissed, not in the middle of mass. IMHO, it downplays the importance and sacredness of mass. Example…a group of tweens last week took a selfie after church. I found it in bad taste, especially since the blessed sacrament was in the background. What ever happened to teaching our children to show the utmost respect in church??

Certainly that was in bad taste but probably well outside normal behavior as well.

Teaching children how to behave is a primary parental function; teaching children their religion is primarily the function of the clergy. Of course there is considerable overlap in many families but I suspect the norm is for very little overlap. In the case of my younger days we had Nuns who “rode herd” over us in church, we all sat together in a specific location, so misbehaving was seriously at one’s own risk.

On the sadly humorous side, the cry rooms in many churches that have them are often the quietest place to sit during Mass because they are so under-used.

 

[SMHW]

I know some churches dismiss kids (under the age of 5) during mass to learn about the scriptures…then bring them back during the Our Father.

This seems like Children’s Liturgy of the Word (CLotW).

There have been plenty of threads about it and many opinions, both pro and con, expressed about it so I will not get in to that.

I will just say that if the children are coming back at the time of the Our Father and are doing crafts then Children’s Liturgy of the Word is not being implemented according to any of the directives I have seen.

If this is not supposed to be CLotW but rather some kind of preschool/babysitting which takes place at the same time as Mass then I can not imagine why the children are not take there by their parents before Mass and picked up by their parents after Mass.

 

[theyoungmonk]

If they are coming back during the Our father (which is incredibly late and makes me feel sad that the children are missing the core of the Mass, indeed they miss the consecration itself) then it should certainly be discreet as the Blessed Sacrament is now exposed on the altar. I cant see any sort of chattiness as being appropriate at this point while people are attempting to prepare for Holy Communion.

 

[namax91]

If they are coming back during the Our father (which is incredibly late and makes me feel sad that the children are missing the core of the Mass, indeed they miss the consecration itself) then it should certainly be discreet as the Blessed Sacrament is now exposed on the altar. I cant see any sort of chattiness as being appropriate at this point while people are attempting to prepare for Holy Communion.

Apparently I didn’t read the OP clearly. At the Parishes in my town where they do this, the priest only chats with them before they are sent off. I feel that they come back right after the homily, but I don’t know for sure. That is sad that they would miss the Consecration. This is sort of evidence of my theory that a lot of these Parishes mindlessly copy features of Protestant churches.

 

[Lapey]

I know some churches dismiss kids (under the age of 5) during mass to learn about the scriptures…then bring them back during the Our Father. I don’t know when or why this started, personally, I think it’s a bad idea but that’s just me. At any rate, we have 2 priest at our parish. One of them quickly dismisses the kids and when it’s time for them to come back, does is discreetly. However, the other priest chats with the kids before they get dismissed and then chats with them when they get back. And then we are always told to clap for the kids as they turn around and show us their drawings.

I just don’t get it. Mass is not playtime and I find it very, very upsetting, for lack of a better word, that these kids are not being taught to have the UTMOST respect for mass service. This priest did mention that if anyone found his “chattyness” too much to let him know. I admit, I have been tempted to write him a brief letter stating my feelings (probably would never do it though because I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings). Lastly, what I find as really surprising…is that most of the parishioners laugh and clap and seem to enjoy this mini “break” in mass??

Just wanted to throw this out there to see what you all have to say…

The title you chose for this thread is a little misleading or maybe a little telling. I will guess that you meant to ask about “Children’s Liturgy” and not just make another thread about a priest who dares to do anything outside of what we feel is “appropriate”; Lord only knows we have enough of those.

Children’s Liturgy is not new nor is it an abuse. It is not an innovation or change to the Mass. What it is, is an attempt to present the material, the same material, to the “little ones”; as Jesus would call them. If this is done right, the children are typically called up to the front after the introduction and Collect by the priest or deacon (I have been asked many times to address the children and send them out) and a very short message is given to them and possibly a blessing. While out of Mass they go over the Liturgy of the Word just like the rest of the congregation, same readings which are taken from the Mass of the day.

There are lessons planned by either catechists or the pastor or bought through Catholic sources for the particular day of celebration. It is all in line with the Mass of the day and hopefully the pastor, or a representative of the pastor and has already reviewed to see that it is appropriate. Also, the activities are geared to the lesson of the day in the readings. If the pastor is a diligent one he would have direct (name removed by moderator)ut on the message and it would be related to the message he is giving inside the church with the remaining people.

After this time, and the amount of time will depend directly on the length of the homily of the Mass, the kids will be brought back in at the offertory. So what they miss is the parts of the Mass in which they are participating in with the catechists. The readings, the message, and the creed, then they process back into the church to join their families for the Liturgy of the Eucharist and the rest of Mass.

This is the basic structure of the Children’s Liturgy, nothing more and nothing less. If what you witness is different than this then maybe you have a local problem. But if your complaints are about what I have described, maybe you should seek a parish that does not cater to the young ones in the congregation. I have been a part of parishes that do this and those that do not. Personally I have mixed feelings because I see it from the perspective of one preaching the homily. I hate to see the kids leave on the days I am preaching. Having them in the seats challenges me to make the message relevant for all, 5 years old or 105. But again, that is my opinion.

 

[Lapey]

If they are coming back during the Our father (which is incredibly late and makes me feel sad that the children are missing the core of the Mass, indeed they miss the consecration itself) then it should certainly be discreet as the Blessed Sacrament is now exposed on the altar. I cant see any sort of chattiness as being appropriate at this point while people are attempting to prepare for Holy Communion.

If the kids are brought back in after the consecration this is a problem. Children’s Liturgy is only for the L of the W, not Eucharist. They should be back in their seats with their family by the preparation of the gifts on the altar and through the remainder of Mass.

 

[dailey]

The title you chose for this thread is a little misleading or maybe a little telling. I will guess that you meant to ask about “Children’s Liturgy” and not just make another thread about a priest who dares to do anything outside of what we feel is “appropriate”; Lord only knows we have enough of those.

Children’s Liturgy is not new nor is it an abuse. It is not an innovation or change to the Mass. What it is, is an attempt to present the material, the same material, to the “little ones”; as Jesus would call them. If this is done right, the children are typically called up to the front after the introduction and Collect by the priest or deacon (I have been asked many times to address the children and send them out) and a very short message is given to them and possibly a blessing. While out of Mass they go over the Liturgy of the Word just like the rest of the congregation, same readings which are taken from the Mass of the day.

There are lessons planned by either catechists or the pastor or bought through Catholic sources for the particular day of celebration. It is all in line with the Mass of the day and hopefully the pastor, or a representative of the pastor and has already reviewed to see that it is appropriate. Also, the activities are geared to the lesson of the day in the readings. If the pastor is a diligent one he would have direct (name removed by moderator)ut on the message and it would be related to the message he is giving inside the church with the remaining people.

After this time, and the amount of time will depend directly on the length of the homily of the Mass, the kids will be brought back in at the offertory. So what they miss is the parts of the Mass in which they are participating in with the catechists. The readings, the message, and the creed, then they process back into the church to join their families for the Liturgy of the Eucharist and the rest of Mass.

This is the basic structure of the Children’s Liturgy, nothing more and nothing less. If what you witness is different than this then maybe you have a local problem. But if your complaints are about what I have described, maybe you should seek a parish that does not cater to the young ones in the congregation. I have been a part of parishes that do this and those that do not. Personally I have mixed feelings because I see it from the perspective of one preaching the homily. I hate to see the kids leave on the days I am preaching. Having them in the seats challenges me to make the message relevant for all, 5 years old or 105. But again, that is my opinion.

I can assure you, my title was not meant to mislead. I was trying to think of how to word the title…and I came up with “chatting” because that is what is done (asked if they are nice to their siblings, if they had a nice week, excited about Christmas, etc). I honestly did not know it was called the “children’s liturgy” as I’m not familiar with it. At any rate, I will definitely not seek out another parish, I love mine! The priest who does the “chatting” is retired and isn’t there every week. Honestly, it just makes me sad. Like another poster said, it has a very Protestant “feel” to it, which is fine…except we’re not Protestant.

Oh, and yes, they come back after the host has been transformed.