Priest expenses for wedding

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Vincent1984

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My fiancée and I are getting married in January, in Cleveland, OH. We both currently live in the UK. We are both very involved in our parish here (I live in the presbytery and work for the parish; she is a sacristan), so we would really like our priest to come to our wedding and take part in the ceremony. He wouldn’t be the main celebrant - we’d like a priest from my fiancée’s home parish for that. I think we would like him to preach the homily. In a way, I’m inviting him as my ‘housemate’ and ‘boss’ more than as an officiant at the wedding. I also know another priest in Boston, MA whom we would like to invite, and if he came, we would find something for him to do at the rehearsal or wedding.

Is is normal to offer to pay priests’ expenses for this sort of thing? Flights and accomodation? We don’t want to offend by doing the wrong thing either way.

Thanks in advance for your help. Replies from priests particularly welcome!
 
If you are asking a priest to participate in your wedding, yes you should pay for him to attend. He is there in a formal capacity, and as part of his “job.” It would be expected that you not put him out financially in order to do this for you.

If you are inviting someone as a guest who happens to also be a priest, you are not obligated to pay for him to attend the wedding.
 
Are you deliberately trying to make your wedding super complicated?

Anyway, if you want him to come to your wedding to work you are essentially hiring him and need to pay everything, if he is just coming as a guest you treat him just like any other guest, you could still pay for him as a guest of course, priests don’t make that much money and transatlantic flights are expensive.

Also bear in mind generally speaking your not doing the priest a favour by finding him something to do, its nice to have the day off once in a while.
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
Are you deliberately trying to make your wedding super complicated?

Anyway, if you want him to come to your wedding to work you are essentially hiring him and need to pay everything, if he is just coming as a guest you treat him just like any other guest, you could still pay for him as a guest of course, priests don’t make that much money and transatlantic flights are expensive.

Also bear in mind generally speaking your not doing the priest a favour by finding him something to do, its nice to have the day off once in a while./QUOTE]

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Also, be aware that a priest cannot just go to another diocese and preach. He needs the permission of the Bishop of that diocese.
 
Also bear in mind too that if the priest has a vow to a religious order he has both a vow of poverty and a vow of obedience (possibly) - hence the supercomplicated part.
 
Vincent1984 said:
My fiancée and I are getting married in January, in Cleveland, OH. We both currently live in the UK. We are both very involved in our parish here (I live in the presbytery and work for the parish; she is a sacristan), so we would really like our priest to come to our wedding and take part in the ceremony. He wouldn’t be the main celebrant - we’d like a priest from my fiancée’s home parish for that. I think we would like him to preach the homily. In a way, I’m inviting him as my ‘housemate’ and ‘boss’ more than as an officiant at the wedding. I also know another priest in Boston, MA whom we would like to invite, and if he came, we would find something for him to do at the rehearsal or wedding.

Is is normal to offer to pay priests’ expenses for this sort of thing? Flights and accomodation? We don’t want to offend by doing the wrong thing either way.

Thanks in advance for your help. Replies from priests particularly welcome!
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Where in Cleveland are you getting married and are they aware of your overcomplicated plans? And yes if this all works out as you would like, you absolutely should pay for this additional priest’s expenses for the occasion. But I have to wonder where you are in the planning with the parish in Cleveland and what their take is on all of this.
 
I’m not really sure what is overcomplicated - I have worked for him for two years, lived in his house for the last year, and he has been very encouraging of our courtship, so obviously he is ‘on the guest list’ for our wedding. My fiancée is still in touch with the priest in her home parish where we will marry, so obviously we would very much like him to participate too. Yes, the priest in Cleveland is aware of all the details I’ve disclosed here and understands that (partly because of my job) he is not the only cleric invited.

I think it’s fairly normal to invite family-friend priests to weddings, confirmations and first holy communions. At least, I know priests who go to things on that basis. What I don’t know is, is it usual to pay for him? At what stage of the invitation would one make the offer of expenses? I’d really like to hear from priests, or people who have invited priests to family sacramental celebrations.
 
If you are just inviting them as guests its not complicated.

However if you are inviting them all to come and act as priests then it is complicated.

Instead of having one priest performing your wedding you are possibly having three which in itself adds a layer of complexity to the wedding which is already usually a complex event.

Then you are bringing a priest from a foreign country who is a stranger to the Bishop of the diocese and in order for that priest to licitly perform a priestly function in your wedding he would need permission of that Bishop to exercise his priestly ministry.
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
Then you are bringing a priest from a foreign country who is a stranger to the Bishop of the diocese and in order for that priest to licitly perform a priestly function in your wedding he would need permission of that Bishop to exercise his priestly ministry.
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I am aware of that. However, I know that it happens often enough that it is really a rubber-stamp exercise by the respective chanceries.
 
Vincent1984 said:
I am aware of that. However, I know that it happens often enough that it is really a rubber-stamp exercise by the respective chanceries.
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Perhaps but it still adds a layer of complication, you still need to get that rubber stamp.
 
Vincent1984 said:
I am aware of that. However, I know that it happens often enough that it is really a rubber-stamp exercise by the respective chanceries.
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That depends on the diocese. Some diocese that is NOT a rubber stamp. Also you have to remember there is more to it because you are crossing international lines. Also if your priest that is traveling belongs to a religious order you will have to obtain other permissions from his order for him to leave.
 
It’s not complicated. I would just have all the priests con-celebrate and assign one to preach and one to celebrate the mass, or one to do both if that’s what you want. The other priests can just con-celebrate.

We didn’t personally have a lot of priests (two) but a friend of mine worked for the chancery and had a bishop and four priests plus two deacons.

And I would pay for their travel expenses.
 
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