Priest made me feel horrible

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leahkari

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Hi,
So today i went to talk to a priest because i had been having some problems and no one to talk to about it. Well, when i was talking to him he made me feel horrible. Like i was a horrible person. He really hurt me emotionally. After talking to him, i went and cried. I thought they were supposed to listen and not be judgemental? I dont think its right how he made me feel. It was the total opposite…😦 PM me if you want details. Thanks
 
I’m sorry this happened. It probably was not personal. Sometimes people have a blunt way of communicating that might seem harsh or hurtful to sensitive people. I have known priests that were “tough” and I know priests that are very sensitive. People have different personalities, so don’t let this get to you too much. Maybe write him a note or email, letting him know how you feel. I would bet that he would be surprised he made you feel badly and apologize. Pray about it, or perhaps speak to another priest about your feelings.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
GreyWings said:
I’m sorry this happened. It probably was not personal. Sometimes people have a blunt way of communicating that might seem harsh or hurtful to sensitive people. Maybe write him a note or email, letting him know how you feel. Pray about it, or perhaps speak to another priest about your feelings.

I hope you feel better soon.
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Thanks. 🙂
 
You are very welcome. I hope you can find some peace with whatever it is that is making you feel bad. I am praying for you now that you will feel better soon.

God bless you.
 
I hate to break it to you, but priest can be unsympathetic. If this priest just hurts you, hopefully you live in a town that is big enough it has more than 1 catholic church and you can find a better priest.

There was one priest in my town who was just cruel. He keep pushing my buttons and one day I broke down crying ‘Please stop, you are hurting my feelings’ and he just waived his finger at me and told me I needed to listen to reason.:eek:

If you want to try to tell him he hurt you, that is up to you. But don’t expect an apology or him to even care. Some priest suffer the sin of pride and will NEVER admit they are wrong

Angie
 
Anglewannabe said:
I hate to break it to you, but priest can be unsympathetic. If this priest just hurts you, hopefully you live in a town that is big enough it has more than 1 catholic church and you can find a better priest.

There was one priest in my town who was just cruel. He keep pushing my buttons and one day I broke down crying ‘Please stop, you are hurting my feelings’ and he just waived his finger at me and told me I needed to listen to reason.:eek:

If you want to try to tell him he hurt you, that is up to you. But don’t expect an apology or him to even care. Some priest suffer the sin of pride and will NEVER admit they are wrong

Angie
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Thanks for your story. Ya there is other church’s, i wont be returning to that one again. 👍
 
leahkari said:
Hi,
So today i went to talk to a priest because i had been having some problems and no one to talk to about it. Well, when i was talking to him he made me feel horrible. Like i was a horrible person. He really hurt me emotionally. After talking to him, i went and cried. I thought they were supposed to listen and not be judgemental? I dont think its right how he made me feel. It was the total opposite…😦 PM me if you want details. Thanks
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😦

:hug1:

Dang! I’m so sorry that happened to you!

I´ve had some really difficult experiences with a few priests over my life, as well, to a point it has shaken my faith. Though, taken on the whole, their influence has generally been positive. It always seems to be so much harder to take, and not to mention painful, when it comes within our faith and our own “ranks”. Well, on some level we know we are holding ourselves to a higher standard.

I once had a priest, who could also be a bit irritable on occasion, explain he had been overworked, working 14 hour days. That they are being spread way too thin also doesn´t help. I´ve found with that, they sometimes say or do things they might not normally say or do.

Still, in the same way we can have a teacher who is…having a bad day, or simply a bad teacher, or even does criminal acts, we can have a priest like that. Yet, it doesn´t seem to reflect in the same way as a priest who isn´t living up to his vocation. We expect so much more of our priests, expect them to be God like, or just nice. When they fail to live up to this, it can be disappointing.

I guess there is that element, that it was always there, even from the very early Church. We even had a Judas at the Last Supper, all happening WITHIN the Church!

My hope is that there will be enough good to offset these negative experiences.

God bless!
 
Actually, here in Mexico, as a penance, I had one priest tell me I needed to knee walk across the entrance of the church.

I asked a friend what he meant by that, what constituted the “entrance”, and I was told it meant the entire length of the church! The churches are really old, quite large, stone type floors or tile. I was bleeding by the time I finished. I thought this was wrong. I was really upset by the whole thing.

I thought it was handling it in the wrong way, that it was the opposite of helpful.

I asked my friend if he had ever had a penance like that, and he said he once had to walk, on his knees, across SEVEN churches!

Anyway, I thought the priest was wrong to do that, also because I have an obvious disability. Nonetheless, I actually did this penance but ended up leaving the Church for about 10 years.

During those 10 years, I began to look into all kinds of other churches, and sometimes no churches. In looking into all those other churches, I found that even with all its many faults and failings, I still preferred the Catholic Church for a bunch of reasons.

So, I reverted, came back, but I’d be lying if I said it was always easy.

Once, I had a very bad experience with a man, actually came to generalize it and hate ALL men. I once asked my sister what to do, and she recommended when I felt like this, to remember our brothers. She said we really did have some good brothers, and it helped me over that stage.

So, in addition to talking this out with someone you trust to get your feelings “off your chest”, I´d encourage you to try to think of positive experiences you have also had with priests, to help you keep this in its proper perspective.
 
I’m sorry you went through that. Not all priests are saints. I hope there is another priest in your town who is better and nicer. In my town all our priest are so nice and kind and you could feel the love of Jesus when they talk to you. I hope you could find someone like that. There is one priest in my town though whom I think might hate me! Or maybe just don’t like me. Yet when I go to confession and he is there or just to visit and talk to him he is very kind and gives good advices. He just seems to try to avoid me and my family. Sometimes I think it could be just his personality and he might be like that with everyone. I never asked other people cuz I’m shy about it. But thank goodness we don’t have one of those yelling, judgmental, priest. Oh I’ve had those in my life, one of the reasons why I started to draw away from the church. Though since I’ve returned God has blessed me with the nicest priests I’ve ever met.

Please don’t be upset, forgive that priest and go to another one. I don’t know about telling the priest who hurt you about what he did. That is up to you.

God bless you dear
 
SuS33 said:
I’m sorry you went through that. Not all priests are saints. I hope there is another priest in your town who is better and nicer. In my town all our priest are so nice and kind and you could feel the love of Jesus when they talk to you. I hope you could find someone like that. There is one priest in my town though whom I think might hate me! Or maybe just don’t like me. Yet when I go to confession and he is there or just to visit and talk to him he is very kind and gives good advices. He just seems to try to avoid me and my family. Sometimes I think it could be just his personality and he might be like that with everyone. I never asked other people cuz I’m shy about it. But thank goodness we don’t have one of those yelling, judgmental, priest. Oh I’ve had those in my life, one of the reasons why I started to draw away from the church. Though since I’ve returned God has blessed me with the nicest priests I’ve ever met.

Please don’t be upset, forgive that priest and go to another one. I don’t know about telling the priest who hurt you about what he did. That is up to you.

God bless you dear
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Thanks … Ya he was not nice at all… Made me feel
Bad … I won’t be going to that church anymore 😊
 
Anglewannabe said:
There was one priest in my town who was just cruel. He keep pushing my buttons and one day I broke down crying ‘Please stop, you are hurting my feelings’ and he just waived his finger at me and told me I needed to listen to reason.:eek:

If you want to try to tell him he hurt you, that is up to you. But don’t expect an apology or him to even care. Some priest suffer the sin of pride and will NEVER admit they are wrong
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Hmm… :hmmm:

Angie,

Do some parishioners suffer the sin of pride and will never admit they are wrong? In that particular case, how would such a person know that the priest isn’t being ‘cruel’, but rather, is trying to help them understand that they are mistaken? :hmmm:
 
leahkari said:
Thanks … Ya he was not nice at all… Made me feel
Bad … I won’t be going to that church anymore 😊
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Whatever helps you feel better. But don’t stop going to a church all together. Find another one asap. If there was none other, then it’s God’s will that you endure that cross. And you have to bare it with love like Jesus did. And pray a lot about what happened to you, ask Jesus to lead and guid you. Also offer your sufferings to him.

Peace
 
There are great Priests and bad ones, I remind myself the Priest is simply there as a vessel sometimes, a pipeline if you will to and through the Trinity. Sometimes the vessel is leaky and ineffective. You might be there to school the Priest in that moment, not the other way around.

I think it is wonderful that we have so many Saints, as it shows that the church has had and continues to have worthy vehicles with which to reach God’s children. Those priestly seeds that land among the weeds will either come around, or go away. It is between them and our Lord.

Seek out a new priest, heal and learn from this experience and remember, he is but a single note in the Universal Church of God.

Blessings.
 
It would be helpful - and I realize it may be something very personal - but if you could share in some way just a few specifics of the situation are, then those of us who read your first post could help you better. Would that be possible?

You see, there are two possible scenarios that come to mind for the reader of the original post. One is that you went to the priest with a moral question or issue and didn’t like it when he gave you the Church’s teaching on the matter. The other is that you went with a genuine and sincere heart to him on a spiritual struggle and really were treated unfairly. But with the vagueness of the wording of the original post, it’s impossible to tell. It doesn’t have to be a ton of detail, just enough to get a sense of what really went on.

Even if the scenario is the former, you needn’t worry - those who respond are bound by forum rules to answer in charity and you have the right to report them to moderators if they aren’t kind. Please, trust us with enough of the story so that there can be clarity. God bless!
 
ClearWater said:
Actually, here in Mexico, as a penance, I had one priest tell me I needed to knee walk across the entrance of the church.

I asked a friend what he meant by that, what constituted the “entrance”, and I was told it meant the entire length of the church! The churches are really old, quite large, stone type floors or tile. I was bleeding by the time I finished. I thought this was wrong. I was really upset by the whole thing.

I thought it was handling it in the wrong way, that it was the opposite of helpful.

I asked my friend if he had ever had a penance like that, and he said he once had to walk, on his knees, across SEVEN churches!

Anyway, I thought the priest was wrong to do that, also because I have an obvious disability. Nonetheless, I actually did this penance but ended up leaving the Church for about 10 years.

During those 10 years, I began to look into all kinds of other churches, and sometimes no churches. In looking into all those other churches, I found that even with all its many faults and failings, I still preferred the Catholic Church for a bunch of reasons.

So, I reverted, came back, but I’d be lying if I said it was always easy.

Once, I had a very bad experience with a man, actually came to generalize it and hate ALL men. I once asked my sister what to do, and she recommended when I felt like this, to remember our brothers. She said we really did have some good brothers, and it helped me over that stage.

So, in addition to talking this out with someone you trust to get your feelings “off your chest”, I´d encourage you to try to think of positive experiences you have also had with priests, to help you keep this in its proper perspective.
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While I can think of one or two people that could benefit from a “knee” walk, you are not among them. The fact that you went through that and came back at all is not only a testament to your character and spiritual devotion, but in the love of Christ for you, to bring you back.

Blessings my Spanish Rose.
-E
 
I’m sorry you had this experience. Just know that you’re not a bad person and you didn’t deserve it. Here’s a silly story. Last night, I went to the 7 p.m. Mass because I wanted my Rosary blessed. I’m very intimidated by the pastor, and one of the other priests typically does the evening Masses. Well, wouldn’t you know it? The pastor was there. So, after Mass, I walked up to him and asked him the for the blessing. He asking me to hold out my hand. I was terrified! I guess it’s just silly of me. But he does just … intimidate me. 😃
 
3DOCTORS said:
It would be helpful - and I realize it may be something very personal - but if you could share in some way just a few specifics of the situation are, then those of us who read your first post could help you better. Would that be possible?

You see, there are two possible scenarios that come to mind for the reader of the original post. One is that you went to the priest with a moral question or issue and didn’t like it when he gave you the Church’s teaching on the matter. The other is that you went with a genuine and sincere heart to him on a spiritual struggle and really were treated unfairly. But with the vagueness of the wording of the original post, it’s impossible to tell. It doesn’t have to be a ton of detail, just enough to get a sense of what really went on.

Even if the scenario is the former, you needn’t worry - those who respond are bound by forum rules to answer in charity and you have the right to report them to moderators if they aren’t kind. Please, trust us with enough of the story so that there can be clarity. God bless!
Click to expand...
I guess it was a moral question. But he didn’t have to make me cry and he could of been more understanding… 😣
 
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