Priest question

[iloveGod143]

I really feel bad and hate talking about a Priest , but I am just curious what is acceptable or if I am wrong in my thinking. But, one of the Priests in my community is a young man (mid-late twenties), and is known and has lots of friends. He goes out a lot with his friends, usually girls… to breakfast, lunch and dinner. He also goes shopping with them sometimes. He buys expensive athletic clothes because he says they are comfortable. Also, he wanted to show his friend a silly youtube video of Sesame street characters, which involved sex but was supposed to be funny or a joke. He is very kind, funny, generous priest, however I just feel like some of these things that he does are not priest-like, only because I feel like a priest should give certain things up when you devote your life to God. He also said that he doesn’t pray the rosary every day. I don’t know if that’s wrong or not, but I just feel it’s weird. What do you all think about this?

 

[Newbie2]

I think that if you have concerns over his image that you schedule an appointment with him and discussit with him directly. He might not be aware of the image he might be unwittingly projecting to some.

If you decide to do so, I’d suggest phrasing it in terms of how you see these things, rather than how he projects them, which is sometimes a very subtle difference.

Example: “Seeing you go out with girls to (breakfast, whatever) regularly makes me feel uncomfortable, and I know there are others who might feel the same way”

Or “I know it wasn’t meant this way, but when you mentioned it the other day, the message that I got was that it wasn’t important enough to say every day”

vs.

“You should not be going out with girls to breakfast (and whatever) because it could be questioned as to your relationship with some of them”

“Shouldn’t you be saying the Rosary every day?”

Both send the same message, but the first one is more “gentle”.

 

[ricofall]

Personally, if you see something that is completely unbecoming of a priest, then do talk it over with the priest first. Then the bishop if need be.

However what you stated is nothing I would worry about. He should be allowed to have his own life and enjoy it for as long as he keeps his vows. Priest are not required to pray the rosery everyday. They are not required to shop at goodwill for all of their clothes. It would be one thing if you saw him leave a married woman’s home at night when the husband was not there, but breakfast with people in public places should be ok.

I think you have an image of how a priest should live and he does not fit that image. When I was younger, I thought that the only clothes priest had were those pastoral ones. Then I was one drive a mustang wearing clothes like he was coming from a gym. My first though was "did he get fired! Where are his church clothes? "… how ignorant of me to think that.

 

[Corki]

Of all of the things you described, the only thing that is possibly problematic is the sexually oriented youtube video. But it sounds like you only know about that third hand anyway.

Priests are not required to say the Rosary every day.

Secular priests are not required to live a life of poverty. Many have money and are free to use it however they want, as long as it’s not for something immoral. I know one priest who is an artist - his painting sell for thousands of dollars in galleries. My mother’s old pastor was an only child and inherited a significant sum when his parents died. As long as he is not embezzeling parish funds, he is free to spend his own money.,

One of the biggest dangers to our priests these days is isolation. In the “old days” there were usually a few priests in each rectory; now they often live alone. A priest with many good healthy relationships is going to be less likely to experience lonliness or isolation.

I feel like a priest should give certain things up when you devote your life to God.

You are correct. A priest DOES give up many things. He gives up his chance to ever have a wife and children, he gives up his right to choose where and how he does his job, he gives up his freedom in his promise of obedience and he gives up most of his time to serve the Church. But it is mean-spirited for you to expect him to give up friendships and moral pleasures too.

 

[Angelsflight]

Yeah, I don’t see anything wrong with a priest having female friends either. Most of my friends are indeed male, and they are just that…friends only. It doesnt mean that the priest has anything going on with any of them.

 

[Corpus_Cristi]

Is he a Legionary?

…Too soon?

 

[iloveGod143]

Well, I didn’t mean that I thought it’s bad if he has friends or that they are female, but just that he goes out a lot to social things, and even takes his friends’ Porsche to drive. I didn’t think this was wrong, but I just thought it was kind of weird to me to always be going out. I love him and I think he is a great person, but none of the other priests in my community (not that I know of) do the same as much as he does, and that’s why it was new/weird to me. Please don’t take it the wrong way as me saying he was bad. I just didn’t know what was allowed or not allowed.