Leah,
Make an appointment. He offered that to my wife. You can do the same. You may not have someone like me supporting you through it like I did my wife. But I assure you, you can not come up with more exhausting stuff than my very own sweet wife.
Make the appointment, but I’d suggest spending some time in an oratory for an hour a day. It’s hard, but your suffering would do a lot of us good if offered up. But first make the appointment and try to find some free professional advice. I know of some staff at other Protestant Churches that could counsel for very little. No guarnatees of course, but its a start in the right direction. I’ll give you a request. Pray for my mother, father, stepfather and brother [suicide], both sets of grandparents and father-in-law. They all died and need prayers. Pray that God gives me strength and guidance to use my reversion experience to halp bring vocations to the priesthood. I was a seminarian many years ago. My son is considering the priesthood. Pray for him. My daughter was born with a disability that causes her lots of pain, even though part of it miraculously disappeared after the Intercessors of the Lamb started praying for her. I could give you story after story of the pain and the wonders I’ve been through, but that wouldn’t help.
Not all priests are personable, ironic, I know. Hopefully, they do their best. There are people that would be more suited for counseling…that’s where you should go. But make the long confession by Appointment Only - they have time. You just have to make the move. He can’t by his “Office”. He has to wait for you to make the move. He is bound to strict silence and I guarantee unless you’re a serial killer he’s heard worst most likely.
