Priest Refused to Hear Confession?

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nsper7 said:
I only brought up the Eucharist issue AFTER his initial refusal to hear my Confession.
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Well, it did [does?] seem to be a focus for you - as I understood your post … perhaps he understood that from waht you did say … ? … I can’t say … it is just something for you to consider … [not a single person here can know anymore then what you wrote and your ability to place that event in writing … and the priest’s view point is not knowable - and never would be because of the seal] … so every ‘opinion’ here is based upon your sole testimony - as such, I was just attempting to provide a different take - not just jump on the "bad [insert whatever term you desire like: untrained, unknowledgable, uncaring, stupid, evil, mean, apostate, in violation of canon law, radical, liberal] priest …

Another thought - did you attempt an anonimous confession or face to face? …

If you only do face to face confessions then perhaps you should change the format and include the old ‘behind the screen’ option …

Do you feel the need to explain and / or describe your sins in detail - rather then just state the trangression? … [For a wild example: You can say I “committed murder” … without going into great detail about the methods of torture you used to commit the crime … which can be seen as problematic for a host of reasons to diverse to go into in this thread]

Again, I am praying for you - the best scenario is that you gain control of your addiction … and hope you will pray for me and my soul as I overcome those areas where I struggle with sin as well …

Remember We [the Chruch - a community of believers] are in this together … trying to live Christ like lives renewed and free from sin …

And - admittedly this is just my experience - every priest I have ever met - feels that the Sacrament of Reconilliation is one of their most important responsibilities. They view it as one that gives their lives meaning … helping people reconcile their broken lives with Jesus … seeing the joy and relief that foregiveness provides … PRICELESS and worth the sacrifices they make to serve Christ …
 
I believe that the priest is in error and you should be allowed to receive the Sacrament of Penance.

From the Code of Canon Law:
Can. 986 §1. All to whom the care of souls has been entrusted in virtue of some function are obliged to make provision so that the confessions of the faithful entrusted to them are heard when they reasonably seek to be heard and that they have the opportunity to approach individual confession on days and at times established for their convenience.
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You seem to be reasonably seeking a Sacrament and appear to be properly disposed to receive it. If you think you are in a state of mortal sin, then you probably are. You are to be applauded for your desire to go to Confession often.

If the priest thinks you are being scrupulous and go to Confession to much, why would he recommend that you just go somewhere else? If he truly believes you don’t understand Confession properly, he should instruct you of what the Church teaches about it. However, it appears that it might actually be the priest that doesn’t understand the Sacrament properly, but that is another issue.

The masturbation issue has been a hard issue for me as well. I found it embarassing to go to Confession and only confess masturbation, and that would be every week. So I started waiting longer between Confessions and didn’t receive most Sundays. I would basically wait till I committed many other sins so I could cover up the sin of masturbation. It was really tragic, and I still suffer with this.

People are then always nosy, asking “why didn’t you go to Communion?” I usually respond that it is none of their business and it is between me and God. If the reason was because I am in a state of mortal sin, I might come right out and say it. People then think that I must have done something REALLY bad, since apparently to many people mortal sins are only those like murder and rape. I then instruct them what the Church teaches on mortal sin and take the opportunity to catechize them.
 
Yesterday (Wednesday), I went to go to Reconciliation, but it was the same Priest so I didn’t even bother. Thus, I was unable to receive Reconciliation or Holy Eucharist. The more I think on this, the madder I get.
 
Yesterday (Wednesday), I went to go to Reconciliation, but it was the same Priest so I didn’t even bother. Thus, I was unable to receive Reconciliation or Holy Eucharist. The more I think on this, the madder I get.
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Talk to the priest.
 
I am sorry for getting so steamed over this issue. Today, when I finally got to go to Confession (a different Priest), I confessed my anger at the Monday Priest over the Confession issue.
 
nsper7 said:
I am sorry for getting so steamed over this issue. Today, when I finally got to go to Confession (a different Priest), I confessed my anger at the Monday Priest over the Confession issue.
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Well it is something to be legitimately angry about.

But it is hard these days to keep one’s anger within legitimate bounds due to concupiscence.

Sins containing grave matter are to be confessed. Sins of impurity are to be confessed. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts.

A clean heart and soul, and the will to continue it before Communion is essential.
 
nsper7 said:
What do you mean?
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I mean that our emotional lives are disordered and harder to control because of original sin, and so often go to excess or are too little rather than fitting the situation.

Anger is particularly prone to excess and disordering the reasoning faculties.

This is why the sun is not to set upon it, because one prolongs the ill effects on reason.

However, there are times when it is a sin not to be angry.

Anger in a new Christian is one of the problems that most often occurs, because he becomes more aware of justice and sin and sees more that one should be angry about – too much at once.

So:

“Zealous anger troubles the eye of reason, whereas sinful anger blinds it.” says Pope St. Gregory the Great.

In other words, it is hard to control.

Only the person who becomes irate without reason, sins. Whoever becomes irate for a just reason is not guilty. Because, if ire were lacking, the science of God would not progress, judgments would not be sound, and crimes would not be repressed.

Further, the person who does not become irate when he has cause to be, sins. For an unreasonable patience is the hotbed of many vices: it fosters negligence, and stimulates not only the wicked, but above all the good, to do wrong.

St. Thomas Aquinas
 
I also worry that by venting in this thread and to others (i.e. in my parish and other friends) that I fell into the sin of gossip.
 
nsper7 said:
I also worry that by venting in this thread and to others (i.e. in my parish and other friends) that I fell into the sin of gossip.
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I don’t see anything wrong with what you’ve said here.

There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice and emotional support.

It is possible outside of this thread that you said too much to no purpose, just about everyone fails that way but I highly doubt it was significant.

Work on your main problem and whatever fundamental issues are behind it. 🙂
 
Earlier on, I posted a few book titles that can be helpful for folks wrestling with some of these issues … discernment, for example.

How do we form ourselves?

One of the books that I have used for decades that I mentioned is “Weeds Among the Wheat” by Thomas Green. Ave Maria Books is the publisher.

Here is another book, which is also excellent.

“The Spiritual Combat … and a Treatise on Peace of Soul” by Dom Lorenzo Scupoli.

This is one of those enduring classics. As near as we can tell, it was first published in 1589. It is well written and absorbing. The edition I have was published by TAN Books.

tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/313/
 
It would probably be a good idea to go to the same priest every time you need to go to confession (unless unusual circumstances prevent it), and explain your situation to him the first time. He will understand your scrupulosity issues if you have them, and can help you through it. You might even formally ask him to be your “spiritual director.” Then you can ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through this appointed agent. That way you won’t worry about “shopping around” and the problems that might create.
Just pick a priest who seems understanding and helpful. And go to him every time.

I don’t think complaining to the bishop is a good idea at this point. It is true that some priests these days unfortunately have some unsound ideas about the nature of certain sins, but it sounds like this one was trying to take into account your scrupulosity struggles. Best of all, though, is to avoid the occasions of sin, obviously. Ask a particular patron saint in heaven to pray for you for special help.
 
I’ve generally been in the practice of going to confession at least once a month, sometimes more, now weekly, for the good 8 years I’ve been a baptized catholic. I’ve only had a few rough encounters, with a priest, but I attribute this his lack of patience. Priests are people too, and try to do the best job. Optimally, we all strive to be on top of our game, priests too, but sometimes things just don’t match up. In fact, one of the most troubling aspects of our culture, I find, is this perfectionism, "get your act together (chiefly to make a buck and get something apparently done). Always strive for understanding, but remember what the Gospel counsels: if you have issue with someone, raise it with them first. I did this once, maybe a bit harshly (okay I have my rough edges) but it worked, and the priest now gives me the time of day.

Secondly on mortal sin, that something that really sends you to hell, a completely irreligious act, that for most of us that have schooling on the golden rule, just doesn’t happen too often. Plus, addiction and psychological issues are common (and probably, I guess to your case) mitigate the gravity of the sin, sometimes reducing it. Consider counseling. A penitent man addresses his sins and tries to correct them; consider talking over your issues in some counseling environment.

When I have doubts on Catholic practice, I refer to the writings of St. Josemaria of Opus Dei, who writes in a very basic English the tenets of Catholic orthodoxy.

We all make mistakes with our faith (why did I join the Knights of Columbus?) but who doesn’t make mistakes.

The goal of confession is to bring Christ’s understanding into our hearts.

Peace,
Al
 
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