Priest refused to let me finish confessing? What does this mean?

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Aeden

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SO I went to confession the other day and I have a bit of a bad memory. I often finish only to realize that there are some more things that i need to confess. When I was confessing and then remembered some more, the priest had been telling me that i had to be confident in the forgiveness of god and when I tried to say that i had some more to ocnfess, he told me that i had to be confident in god forgiving me and that he was absolving me to which I replied with acceptance and he absolved me. I’m a little confused: was that confession invalid because I didn’t confess all of my sins, some of which were mortal or was the fact that it was on the priest commanding me make it not mortal in some way and thus a valid confession? I’m very confused here as I’ve never been told to essentially stop talking in a confessional before.
 
I don’t know, Aaden. If he said this before he gave you the absolution, I think it is a bit strange. (Sounds more that he was short in time than that he really wanted to listen). As far as I know a person have to confess all sins that is remembered. If some is omitted willfully, they are not forgiven. If, however, one remembers some sins after the absolution is given, they are forgiven along with the others.

To be sure, you can write down the sins you didn’t confess, chose another priest next time and when you have confessed your sins since the last time, you can say something like this before he is able to say something: “… and so I have some old sins to confess, the first is …, the second is …” (Read from your paper. He will stop you if he thinks that is necessary).

You can have both the new sins and the old ones at the same paper. It might also be wise to pray before you go, and try to feel the regret for every sin in that prayer too. When done so, you are sure you speak the truth when you tell the priest that you are sorry for them.

Hope it was some help on reading this.
 
Given your issues with scrupulosity, you must listen to and obey your confessor who knows you and your situation.

Do not come here second guessing, which is the opposite of what he told you to do–which is to be confident in God’s forgiveness.
 
1ke said:
Given your issues with scrupulosity, you must listen to and obey your confessor who knows you and your situation.

Do not come here second guessing, which is the opposite of what he told you to do–which is to be confident in God’s forgiveness.
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👍 👍

I also like the advise to write things down, and/or go once a month so you don’t have as much to remember. You only need to relate the kind and number and only such information as is directly offsetting… I was puking my guts out and yelled at the wife that she wasn’t… etc… keep it simple, the Lord sees your heart.

I have my daughter do write things down, then afterwards, she is allowed to put the page thru the shredder… really symbolic for a child, have the sins where you can touch and feel, receive the sacrament, and the sins are irrevocably removed… and yet, there’s still something that has to be done, and I have her take the shreds out to the trash (purgatory 🙂 )
 
Listen to 1ke.

But I wanted to add that I have at times taken a note listing my sins on it.

This may help you order your thoughts and not forget the important stuff.

Most of all, it can help you put sins into categories like “greed”, “lust”, etc.

Trust the priest to ask you to give more detail if it is necessary, but at the end of the day, God knows what you did. God knows.
 
Sounds like he was trying to get to the point. Maybe you were taking too long. Confession is not a therapy session with a psychologist. Next time take a list and make it simple. Don’t give him your life story. A simple list will do: I kicked my dad in the shins. I stole from work. I missed mass. I lied to my boss. Like that.
 
Confess what you can remember and end with “I’m sorry for these and ALL my sins”. 🙂

Then trust in the Lord that all are forgiven. If you remember other sins you may want to confess them at another time. But after you receive the absolution, you are good to go for communion.
 
boomerang said:
Sounds like he was trying to get to the point. Maybe you were taking too long. Confession is not a therapy session with a psychologist. Next time take a list and make it simple. Don’t give him your life story. A simple list will do: I kicked my dad in the shins. I stole from work. I missed mass. I lied to my boss. Like that.
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Boomerang does have a point. Confession is not spiritual direction. Though it does contain elements from it, there you go to confess your sins to Almighty God, that they may be forgiven. The confessional wasn’t built for you to spend a half an hour in it. There’s not enough air…🙂 But, seriously, if you have unresolved spiritual issues, then I suggest you speak with your confessor for a spiritual talk, not in the confessional, but somewhere else, where you can spend more time discussing faith and sin. If he is a serious priest, he will not deny you and schedule a meeting.
As for God knows what you did, he does, but for your sins to be forgiven, they must be told, unless forgotten through no bad intention.
 
corsair said:
Confess what you can remember and end with “I’m sorry for these and ALL my sins”. 🙂

Then trust in the Lord that all are forgiven. If you remember other sins you may want to confess them at another time. But after you receive the absolution, you are good to go for communion.
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Be carful, however, with this caveat…if. By all sins you mean venial sins also fine…but by the time you reach the confessional, if you did an adequate examination of conscience, you will be painfully aware of all your unconfessed mortal sins.

Granted, on occasion we may forget, but this “catch all” can be an excuse to skirt around particularly embarrassing sins…if you honestly, and not selectively forgot, when you do realize you omitted something in your confession, you need to confess those sins and not hide behind “these and all my sins”.
 
Great replies from everyone.

There are pamphlets on how to prep. before confession, so check online or find a good Catholic book store. They are reasonably priced.

I also am of the mind set that I accept full responsibility for my sins and do not waste time with excuses.

That saves time.

The list is a good idea and destroy it after confession.
 
Priest today at confession told me before absolution “God has forgiven you and all sins you may have forgotten”. That’s good enough for me. 👍
 
Trust your confessor, if he needs more information on other sins he will ask. You went with the intention of confessing all of your sins and tried to do that to the best of your ability. The priest realized this and absolved you of all of your sins. If it was me, I would feel that I had made a good confession.
 
You should have been able to confess your mortal sins, seeing the priest had not yet absolved you. I’d go speak with a traditional priest about this issue you had with the priest, and then I’d make my confessions to him (the traditional priest). God bless you.
 
Folks, you must realize that scrupulosity is a serious psychological disorder. Giving advice about it here is like you trying to give medical advice to someone over the internet. Unless you are trained to deal with it, very, very rarely is it ever helpful and in many, if not most instances, it actually may do harm, no matter how good your intentions are.

Consider for a moment. What would you say to someone seeking advice about a serious medical problem? What you should say is “find a doctor that you trust and follow his direction completely.”

Aeden, I understand that these are very real and difficult issues for you. Don’t get discouraged. Please find a priest that you trust and follow his direction completely. Looking for advice here on CAF is not the answer.

Praying that you will find peace of mind soon.
 
To take responsibillity for one’s own problem.
boomerang said:
Confession is not a therapy session with a psychologist. Next time take a list and make it simple. Don’t give him your life story.
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This is important. Confession is never to be seen as some sort of therapy!

Aaden said: *«I often finish only to realize that there are some more things that i need to confess. When I was confessing and then remembered some more, the priest had been telling me that i had to be confident in the forgiveness of god and when I tried to say that i had some more to ocnfess, (…).» *

I see this as a bad preparation before confession. If Aaden drops into the confessional with some ideas about what she/he will confess, then «she» might «remember more». Remember that it starts with the priest saying something like this: *«May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins with true sorrow». *

The one who has come to confess, is to be enlightened to look for his/her sins and feel sorrow for them. If the work isn’t done properly at home, the Lord may actually enlighten about more sins in the confessional. If Aaden is a bit nervous her mind will be a bit «clouded» and «she» will have problems to present her sins.

I think that Aaden has to do, is to «diagnose» the problem. Is «she» (I use ‘she’ because I don’t know her sex) finds out that her problem has come about because of bad preparation before she enters the confessional, she has to become better doing that. If the problem is that she feels nervous in the confessional, she has to work with that ; then a list of the sins*brought to the confessional might be a very wise way to address that problem.

If the problem is scrupulosity, she can’t expect to be free from that from the one day to the next. If this is the case she might offer her problem up to God for help in the weeks, months it takes to overcome that problem. God will not judge her for having a personal problem. Also in this case, a good*preparation with prayers at home and a list written list to bring to the confessional can be of help. If it’s so dark in the confessional that it’s impossible to read the list, it should be OK to bring light from her mobile so she can read.

God wants us to cooperate, and therefore we have to find out what to do with our*personal problems.

A prayer (at home) before confession:

«+ Receive my confession, O most loving and gracious Lord Jesus Christ, only hope for the salvation of my soul. Grant to me true contrition of soul, so that day and night I may by penance make satisfaction for my many sins. Savior of the world, O good Jesus, Who gave Yourself to the death of the Cross to save sinners, look upon me, most wretched of all sinners; have pity on me, and give me the light to know my sins, true sorrow for them, and a firm purpose of never committing them again.
O gracious Virgin Mary, Immaculate Mother of Jesus, I implore you to obtain for me by your powerful intercession these graces from your Divine Son.
St. Joseph, pray for me. AMEN + »

Here is a link that (hopefully) might help for the preparation:

diopitt.org/office-new-evangelization/short-guide-confession-sacrament-reconciliation

After this it will be appropriate to go home in peace, thank God and not*think about the confessed sins anymore.

Peace and love! 👍
 
I hope this will be of some help.
Twelve months ago I came back to the church after being badly hurt through my involvement in mortal sin. I cannot describe the shame and sorrow I felt – and still feel. I could not bring myself to look at a picture of Jesus as I was so ashamed.

I went to church and made as good a confession as I could but afterwards was haunted by the feeling that I had omitted to mention mortal sins from my distant past (I had not attended church for many years). Eventually I spent a whole week drawing up a list of everything I could remember from my past life. My sins covered two A4 sized sheets and would have taken about ten minutes to confess.

I telephoned a local priest and explained that I wished to make a general confession. He invited me to visit his house one Saturday afternoon and we talked for over an hour. He was quite willing to hear my confession but he emphasised God’s infinite mercy.He reminded me of Pope Francis’s words about confession not being a torture chamber He spoke of the parable of the Prodigal Son. When I said that I knew I had unconfessed mortal sins on my conscience his reply was that I had already made a good confession and that God was not trying to trip people up if they had made a sincere confession and genuinely not remembered to confess certain sins.

At the end of our conversation he offered to hear my confession if I wished but the whole tone of our conversation had been that he would rather not. There was a shredder in the room and, at the suggestion of this wonderful Irish priest, before I left I used it. Afterwards I felt for the first time I had truly been forgiven.
I regret to say that I have fallen a few times over the past year and need to confess at the moment but that’s something I mean to deal with.

St. Gerard, Patron of a Good Confession,
who gave courage to souls whom fear and shame had overcome;
who gave sorrow to their hearts,
resolution to their wills,
truth to their faltering lips;
help me to make a good Confession.

Enable me to know my sins,
to be truly sorry for them,
and to be firmly resolved,
with God’s grace, never to sin again.

Help me to confess my sins humbly and sincerely,
to confess them in the spirit of faith,
as confessing them to Our Lord Himself.

Stand by me in this Confession, O gentle Saint,
an angel of God sent to free me from sin.

Amen.
 
dividus said:
I hope this will be of some help.
Twelve months ago I came back to the church after being badly hurt through my involvement in mortal sin. I cannot describe the shame and sorrow I felt – and still feel. I could not bring myself to look at a picture of Jesus as I was so ashamed.

I went to church and made as good a confession as I could but afterwards was haunted by the feeling that I had omitted to mention mortal sins from my distant past (I had not attended church for many years). Eventually I spent a whole week drawing up a list of everything I could remember from my past life. My sins covered two A4 sized sheets and would have taken about ten minutes to confess.

I telephoned a local priest and explained that I wished to make a general confession. He invited me to visit his house one Saturday afternoon and we talked for over an hour. He was quite willing to hear my confession but he emphasised God’s infinite mercy.He reminded me of Pope Francis’s words about confession not being a torture chamber He spoke of the parable of the Prodigal Son. When I said that I knew I had unconfessed mortal sins on my conscience his reply was that I had already made a good confession and that God was not trying to trip people up if they had made a sincere confession and genuinely not remembered to confess certain sins.

At the end of our conversation he offered to hear my confession if I wished but the whole tone of our conversation had been that he would rather not. There was a shredder in the room and, at the suggestion of this wonderful Irish priest, before I left I used it. Afterwards I felt for the first time I had truly been forgiven.
I regret to say that I have fallen a few times over the past year and need to confess at the moment but that’s something I mean to deal with.

St. Gerard, Patron of a Good Confession,
who gave courage to souls whom fear and shame had overcome;
who gave sorrow to their hearts,
resolution to their wills,
truth to their faltering lips;
help me to make a good Confession.

Enable me to know my sins,
to be truly sorry for them,
and to be firmly resolved,
with God’s grace, never to sin again.

Help me to confess my sins humbly and sincerely,
to confess them in the spirit of faith,
as confessing them to Our Lord Himself.

Stand by me in this Confession, O gentle Saint,
an angel of God sent to free me from sin.

Amen.
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Forgetting sins can be a trip up after one leaves the confession but we must always remember God alone sees the deep down meaning of every word and the intent of every prayer from the heart. Scrupulosity sucks and it has robbed me of a lot of happiness in my life. I can’t sit here and say I will totally be over it, however, I also know that God does not remember our past so why the heck should we? Prayers for you and prayers for us all. Be strong!👍
 
I’ve had a priest stop me in mid flow and absolve me.

So long as you haven’y intentionally hidden any sins, then all your sins are forgiven. If you intended to confess them and the priest stopped you in the middle of this, or if you have genuinely forgotten certain sins, then these sins are forgiven. God has forgiven you, move on. A priest once told me in Confession that I should look to the future, not the past.

Having been away from the Church for decades and having lived a hedonistic life in the past, I have a considerable back-log of sins that I keep remembering from time to time, but I have since had a general absolution. Should I keep confessing sins after I have been forgiven for them? The advice I have been given is to accept God’s mercy, put the past behind me and look to the future.
 
felsguy said:
Folks, you must realize that scrupulosity is a serious psychological disorder. Giving advice about it here is like you trying to give medical advice to someone over the internet. Unless you are trained to deal with it, very, very rarely is it ever helpful and in many, if not most instances, it actually may do harm, no matter how good your intentions are.
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1ke said:
Given your issues with scrupulosity, you must listen to and obey your confessor who knows you and your situation.

Do not come here second guessing, which is the opposite of what he told you to
do–which is to be confident in God’s forgiveness.
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These two posts IMHO really sum up the entirety of OP’s need here…
1Ke knows OPs other postings.
dividus said:
(…) My sins covered two A4 sized sheets and would have taken about ten minutes to confess. (…) There was a shredder in the room and, at the suggestion of this wonderful Irish priest, before I left I used it. Afterwards I felt for the first time I had truly been forgiven.
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AH… and why I have my children write things down, and how we were teaching many in my parish RCIA to prepare for reconciliation (not so much for those to be Baptized, more for the converts from other faiths), it does help in the beginning to make a good examination of conscience and people get nervous in the confessional which will fluster the best of us at times. Even I will occasionally do this… with a large family and work, it can become hectic and things forgotten or overlooked.

Besides, the writing down and the act of shredding of the add the physical aspect that some people require (especially my kids… for them the Mass and the Sacraments still need that physical aspect, whereas, as an adult, I don’t feel that need… but-then-again, I’m a chemist and deal in both the physical and abstract equally)
 
My take on all this is you must prepare. I know in the past I have not done a very good job at preparing and I sure I have been forgiven the sins that I conveniently forgotten.

Examination of the conscious is a great tool. I know there are a number of readings that will walk you though all of these different scenarios that are based on the commandments. I recently discovered this Catholic App that helps you do all this. It will ask a bunch of questions and you will indicate if you did these and how many times you did them. You then take this in with you during confession, and if you are like me and extremely nervous, you can just read off your sins. The great thing is some of these things that it asked me about I never really considered a sin, but upon reflecting about them, I see how they are and how they hurt God.

I think what I would tell you is this. Know that God has forgiven you, but find yourself another priest and go to confession again, but this time, prepare before hand, write down your sins (or use some other means) and be ready and read them off. This will clear your conscious. I don’t think you would have written this post if you were not remorseful, but please know that God has already forgiven you of your sins.

God bless…

YBIC, John
 
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