Priest Refusing to give Last Rites

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Good morning all. I had a question that was posed to me by a friend, and I’m looking for some insight on the issue.

His grandmother passed last week, and before she went she was seeking Last Rites. Apparently, she called three parishes and the priests refused to administer the Rite because she was not a member of their parish.

Is this a legitimate reason? His grandmother was a devout, practicing Catholic who’s regular parish priest wasn’t nearby. Can a priest refuse to administer rights based off of something like this?

Thanks!
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Good morning all. I had a question that was posed to me by a friend, and I’m looking for some insight on the issue.

His grandmother passed last week, and before she went she was seeking Last Rites. Apparently, she called three parishes and the priests refused to administer the Rite because she was not a member of their parish.

Is this a legitimate reason? His grandmother was a devout, practicing Catholic who’s regular parish priest wasn’t nearby. Can a priest refuse to administer rights based off of something like this?

Thanks!
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That seems very odd.

Of course, we do not have the whole story. A priest’s duty to the dying is a serious obligation, we can speculate all we want but since we are hearing the story second hand we cannot really say anything more.
 
1ke said:
That seems very odd.

Of course, we do not have the whole story. A priest’s duty to the dying is a serious obligation, we can speculate all we want but since we are hearing the story second hand we cannot really say anything more.
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I know we don’t have the whole story, I’m trying to determine if there’s any reasons not being part of a congregation would exclude you from having a priest perform Last Rites for you. I’m pretty sure the answer is no, but I wanted to check.
 
Agreed, sounds odd.

When my mother was in hospice and about to die, I called a parish in her town (she’s in another state) to ask if a priest could come visit her. She wasn’t even Catholic. The priest agreed and visited her anyway.

I can’t speak to that particular situation you described.
 
The sacrament of the sick is not just for death - you can have it done when you become ill - why would people wait until the last moment for this sacrament - it always baffles me.

The priests were wrong - they should of administered the sacrament - 30 years ago this would not have happened - its got to do with the times we live in.

I think these priests should be told this person died without the sacrament because they would not get off their lazy asses and do it.

This the kind of stuff that makes our faith look bad to some people.
 
Many people of a certain age understand that the Last Rites are given so that the dying person might die in a state of grace.

The shift to use anointing as a rite for healing (to be given at any time) is baffling to some.

That being said, it is very difficult to get most clergy to make ‘house calls’ these days. Institutions such as nursing homes, hospitals, etc, tend to have chaplains on staff so that parish clergy don’t have to make the visits. It’s a system that doesn’t always work well. And if the dying person is at home, it makes it all the more difficult to find a priest who will come.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a better system?
 
The Anointing of the Sick is not the same thing as Last Rites.

The Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick is one element of the Last Rites. (Hence the plural, instead of calling it “Last Rite.”)

The elements are:

Confession (if the person is conscious)

Anointing of the Sick

Viaticum (a last reception of the Eucharist - it literally means “bread for the road” or “waybread”, because you’re traveling to Heaven with its spiritual nourishment)

The Apostolic Blessing (which clears off the temporal results of your sins, so that you don’t have to go to Purgatory)

Prayers for the dying person, for help and courage.

There are some other things that are done which benefit any family or loved ones who are present, and which they can help with. I don’t know why we don’t study this stuff in school anymore, because eventually we will all need to know!

It is proper, for any Catholic who is dying, to receive the full Last Rites if he desires them, or if he is known to be a Catholic who would desire them. It is supposed to be a perfectly normal thing to receive Last Rites, and priests are supposed to expect to be called out to give them. Without a grave reason, refusing them is cruel.
 
We don’t know the whole story. However, this sounds like it might have been a miscommunication.

Unless there is an emergency, priests typically make the house and hospital calls for people who live in their parish or if the hospital is in their parish.

So for example, in a non-emergency situation, lets say lady in hospital lives in St. John’s parish, the hospital is in St. Mary’s parish, but they call a priest in St. Anthony’s parish.

In non-emergency situations, the priest is going to ask them to call the priest from St. John’s parish or St. Mary’s parish because they are ones who would have “jurisdiction”

However, I’m sure if the priest at St. Anthony’s knew that there was an emergency situation and no one could contact other priests, he would be there right away. So I strongly believe this was a miscommunication (a major one, but still a miscommunication).

God Bless!
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Good morning all. I had a question that was posed to me by a friend, and I’m looking for some insight on the issue.

His grandmother passed last week, and before she went she was seeking Last Rites. Apparently, she called three parishes and the priests refused to administer the Rite because she was not a member of their parish.

Is this a legitimate reason? His grandmother was a devout, practicing Catholic who’s regular parish priest wasn’t nearby. Can a priest refuse to administer rights based off of something like this?

Thanks!
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Well…I think no.

But a question though…was his grandmother just seeking “Last Rites”…and not the actual sacrament itself?

If the grandmother was seeking for the sacrament, then the priest should have gone and administered them.
 
pablope said:
Well…I think no.

But a question though…was his grandmother just seeking “Last Rites”…and not the actual sacrament itself?

If the grandmother was seeking for the sacrament, then the priest should have gone and administered them.
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As Mintaka so clearly explained, the Last Rites consist of many rituals and prayers, including 3 of the Sacraments. A priest needs to administer them.
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Good morning all. I had a question that was posed to me by a friend, and I’m looking for some insight on the issue.

His grandmother passed last week, and before she went she was seeking Last Rites. Apparently, she called three parishes and the priests refused to administer the Rite because she was not a member of their parish.

Is this a legitimate reason? His grandmother was a devout, practicing Catholic who’s regular parish priest wasn’t nearby. Can a priest refuse to administer rights based off of something like this?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
We can’t speak to this particular situation because we may not have all the facts.

BUT: from the point of view of the law itself, no, Last Rites (confession, especially) cannot be refused due to a person’s not being a member of a parish. Church law imposes the obligation on all priests to absolve a penitent in danger of death, and extends this faculty and obligation even to laicized and excommunicated priests. By this fact alone, one can deduce that the law does not limit one’s last Sacraments to one’s own pastor, but indeed, any priest.
 
I am surprised. When we were at a vacation church one summer, the priest mentioned that he had been out to give Last Rites to a vacationer who’d had an ultimately fatal accident.

Anyway, maybe there is a reason that these priests would not give your friend’s grandmother Extreme Unction–but istm that they should have explained it and helped him out, like if there was a special chaplain he should call. I would call the parishes back during business hours to see if this was the case, and maybe let the diocese know if there were no satisfactory answers.

Maybe this should also be a wake-up call to prepare for this when our relatives are out-of-state or in parishes not their own. So if my mother needs to go to a nursing home in a different town, I would call when she first went to find out how to get all that taken care of.
 
That is very sad and troubling but not surprising. I tried calling three parishes around the hospital when my dad was in ICU. No priest available, it was Holy Week. Dad ended up confessing to me and then to my uncle, when he was under the influence of meds. Never did get a priest to visit the hospital. I annointed him myself and prayed for his soul.
 
phil19034 said:
We don’t know the whole story. However, this sounds like it might have been a miscommunication.

Unless there is an emergency, priests typically make the house and hospital calls for people who live in their parish or if the hospital is in their parish.

So for example, in a non-emergency situation, lets say lady in hospital lives in St. John’s parish, the hospital is in St. Mary’s parish, but they call a priest in St. Anthony’s parish.

In non-emergency situations, the priest is going to ask them to call the priest from St. John’s parish or St. Mary’s parish because they are ones who would have “jurisdiction”

However, I’m sure if the priest at St. Anthony’s knew that there was an emergency situation and no one could contact other priests, he would be there right away. So I strongly believe this was a miscommunication (a major one, but still a miscommunication).

God Bless!
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This was one potential that I gave my friend. I do not know if his grandmother’s death came suddenly or not.

Fortunately, she was able to find a priest who administered last rights, so it ended well. It just seemed odd to me that she would be refused by three parishes. She was at a Lutheran hospital, so they may not have had a priest on staff for such occasions.

I’m hearing about this third or fourth hand, so I know there are a lot of details lacking. Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut everyone.
 
St_Francis said:
Maybe this should also be a wake-up call to prepare for this when our relatives are out-of-state or in parishes not their own. So if my mother needs to go to a nursing home in a different town, I would call when she first went to find out how to get all that taken care of.
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Try asking the nursing home first what their chaplain status is. That person, if not Roman Catholic, should have a direct line to a nearby priest who regularly comes.
 
There simply are too many possibilities for us to give reasons why priests may have quite legitimately been unable to offer the sacrament (as opposed to ‘refusing to give’). The whole experience I’m sure was acutely painful and people who are already in a crisis situation may not express themselves clearly, or understand clearly what others express to them.

My advice to the OP is that, since a priest was indeed found and the sacrament was administered, that he tell the original person exactly this:

I am glad your grandmother received last rites. I am also sorry that in the process of your arranging this for you, you ran into problems. I ask that you take some time to grieve and to pray, and then do one of two things:

A (recommended): Forgive and forget. You may not have clearly communicated your wishes to the other priests; they may not have clearly communicated their reasons to you, it may all have been a big misunderstanding. There may of course have been an active ‘wrong’ on the part of one or all involved. If you are quite, quite certain that any or all of the priests were able to do this, would have and did do it for others in the same situation as your grandmother, and maliciously withheld it from your grandmother, you should immediately and tactfully let them know of your hurt, along with copying to their bishops. If you are NOT quite certainly, but you simply cannot let it go out of fear for others who might suffer the same, move on to:

B: (not recommended): Approach each priest with great humility, always giving the benefit of the doubt, going in without bias, listening carefully, and ‘repeating back’ each response to be sure you ‘get it’, and find out why they did as they did. Always be extremely charitable and respectful, document everything, and again, copy the bishop. But be aware that you will probably never get a ‘response’, or a ‘reason’, and that the time you spent on this will wind up corroding your soul. It is natural when one is hurt to want to find a scapegoat or somebody to blame, in order that the anger one feels can help ‘lessen’ the grief. But in the end, it is likely only to hurt you.

It is better to pray for the soul of the grandmother, to pray for the priests involved, and to submit to the whole affair with humility, even if one were genuinely wronged. . .and ‘offer it up’ to the Lord.

That’s my 2 cents!
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Good morning all. I had a question that was posed to me by a friend, and I’m looking for some insight on the issue.

His grandmother passed last week, and before she went she was seeking Last Rites. Apparently, she called three parishes and the priests refused to administer the Rite because she was not a member of their parish.

Is this a legitimate reason? His grandmother was a devout, practicing Catholic who’s regular parish priest wasn’t nearby. Can a priest refuse to administer rights based off of something like this?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
Maybe it has to do with the declining numbers of clergy.
Not everyone gets last rites though. A Catholic family member never got last rites because they were in a Lutheran old age home and only had a memorial service instead of a funeral.
 
crai7 said:
Maybe it has to do with the declining numbers of clergy.
Not everyone gets last rites though. A Catholic family member never got last rites because they were in a Lutheran old age home and only had a memorial service instead of a funeral.
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Crai, I believe that the Last Rites are given before one dies, not at the funeral.
 
crai7 said:
Maybe it has to do with the declining numbers of clergy.
Not everyone gets last rites though. A Catholic family member never got last rites because they were in a Lutheran old age home and only had a memorial service instead of a funeral.
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The family is supposed to arrange the funeral, so the nursing home’s being Lutheran should not have had any effect.

If a Catholic is in a non-Catholic nursing home, the family should arrange for Last Rites and not expect that of the home.
 
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