Priest told me that he didn't think I was sufficiently repentant

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Kima said:
But I do think it would be a better approach if priests who recognize scrupulosity when hearing a confession would give absolution, but also advice the penitent to talk with him afterwards or make an appointment to better help the penitent.
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We can’t just give absolution because it will alleviate scruples. If someone has confessed a lot of things that aren’t really sins, as sometimes happens in scrupulous confessions, then they shouldn’t receive absolution. That’s not to say they shouldn’t receive guidance on the formation of conscience and how to make a good confession so that they aren’t refused.

In the case, we actually don’t know exactly why the OP was denied, we’re all speculating, and the priests are speculating based on experience.
 
There really isn’t a problem. Weekly confession is not excessive, especially if someone is trying to grow spiritually. The priest agreed that there is repentance. Absolution was given. All confessions were valid.
 
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MtnDwellar said:
Weekly confession is not excessive, especially if someone is trying to grow spiritually.
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This I take issue with. If someone is scrupulous, weekly may be too frequent. I would advise people who aren’t clergy, religious, or in discernment, to go to confession no more frequently than every other week, and probably more like every 4-6 weeks. Going weekly could actually be a bad thing for someone who is struggling with scrupulosity, and they should seek counsel from their confessor on this.
 
Also, I must admit that I didn’t read carefully, and I thought the OP meant that he didn’t receive absolution.

In that case, it sounds like the counsel he received was the bigger concern. It doesn’t sound like you were told anything problematic. Don’t take it personally, it’s not meant to be a critique of you or your character, but rather to give you something to think about, especially if the way you’re confessing seems off to the priest.
 
I know that those who avail themselves to frequent confession will notice great strides in their spiritual lives.

I don’t really know anything about scrupulosity. Thanks for the comment.
 
MtnDwellar said:
I don’t really know anything about scrupulosity.
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Scrupulosity is the condition whereby someone thinks that everything is a sin, or that they can never be forgiven. It can become an excessive and compulsive fixation with sin that sends people running back to the confessional constantly over even the smallest imperfection. It’s often associated with OCD, and so is the spiritual equivalent of constant handwashing.

Think of it this way: if you went to confession every two days out of compulsion, we wouldn’t say that was healthy and a good way to grow spiritually, any more than we would say that washing your hands 80 times a day shows a concern for health.

The OP shows some signs of scrupulosity. Ergo, it would not be helpful, and would in fact be detrimental to his spiritual growth, to go to confession with great frequency.
 
The concern I have is that the OP has only reverted since three weeks. I wonder if s/he conveyed this information to the priest. I’m sure any priest would realize that one doesn’t completely turn one’s life around in three weeks, even though sometimes when we revert (I am a revert) we can feel like we’ve thrown off the shackles of sin forever (not!).

If the priest didn’t know this, I can understand his answer. If he did I think he might have been more willing to counsel the OP about sin and conversion and trust in God’s mercy, and perhaps even suggest spiritual direction to help the wayward sheep find his way back after being lost for so long.

Reverting after years of neglect can result in a flood of emotions, especially guilty feelings, that make one want to run back to the confessional at the first opportunity for the slightest sin or perceived sin.

It was a very wise confessor, a monk, who told me I didn’t have to confess the same bad habit every week, and that years of a bad habit mitigated guilt and would take many years of patience and reliance on God’s mercy to undo. He also suggested that trying to abandon such a habit in one shot was doomed to failure, and instead try to avoid it for just one day. God rewards effort but is realistic about fallen mankind’s ability to be perfect.
 
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JohnDaniels2 said:
I mean that is what confession is for. I think the priest should care less about how much they confess or what sins they confess. If you go to confession you are forgiven
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A quibble: there has to be an evident expression of contrition. If the priest doesn’t sense this he may try to tease it out of the penitent but if it obviously isn’t there, then he’s within his rights, in fact his duty, to send the penitent away, perhaps even with an admonition about not misusing confession.
 
@JohnDaniels2

No, I was talking about presumption, when a person commits a sin knowingly, but thinking he will go to Confession so it doesn’t matter, the attitude of taking advantage of what Christ did for us to sin.
 
I know your analogy is exaggerated to make a point. We are discussing weekly confession, not every two days.

I can see the analogy between scrupulosity and hand washing from a natural standpoint. Are you sure that receiving weekly sacramental grace through confession is detrimental to someone’s spiritual growth?
 
I do not think receiving sacramental grace is detrimental to anyone’s spiritual growth, and I do not believe that I said or indicated anything of the kind. Please don’t put words in my mouth or presume a different meaning than what I have said.

I don’t even think weekly confession would be detrimental for most people. I am talking about a very particular case of people with a very particular issue. But the action of going to confession with great frequency if one is scrupulous can be detrimental, and so the frequency of confession for the scrupulous is something for which that they should receive guidance from their priest and, if necessary, mental health professional.
 
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Ok I realize this is confusing. Let me clarify.
I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with the Church my whole life. I was raised in the Church for 10 years, received baptism, catechism, first communion, ect - but this was mostly just all formalities to appease my grandparents. My parents were lapsed Catholics/nonbelievers and they didn’t encourage me to believe, so I didn’t at that point. That’s what I mean by a nonreligious background.

I came to the Church on my own when I was 14. I got a refresher catechism and received confirmation. I was a fully practicing Catholic for 3 years, but then scrupulosity and anxiety overwhelmed me and I left the Church out of despair - not because I stopped believing, but because my mental health was so poor that I felt I couldn’t take it anymore.

I don’t remember why I made this account in 2017 (which was a while after I left, by that point I would have been decidedly nonreligious in my lifestyle) but it was probably because I was contemplating coming back. Like I said, I didn’t leave out of a lack of belief. During the 4 years that I was away, every once in a while I would have a moment where I felt the urge to go back to mass, or ask a question about the faith, or something like that. Catholicism was always somewhere in the back of my mind, even though I was trying very very hard not to think about it.

Anyways so that’s my life story. I’m not technically a convert but I do somewhat think of myself that way because my religious upbringing was so bare-minimal.

I hope this clears up any confusion. The main point is that yes, I’m a returning Catholic and I’ve had all my sacraments and catechism, at one point or another. I guess the relevance of this is that I’m not walking into confession blind or unprepared.
 
edward_george1 said:
I do not think receiving sacramental grace is detrimental to anyone’s spiritual growth, and I do not believe that I said or indicated anything of the kind. Please don’t put words in my mouth or presume a different meaning than what I have said.
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edward_george1 said:
Ergo, it would not be helpful, and would in fact be detrimental to his spiritual growth, to go to confession with great frequency.
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My question is if weekly is indeed the “great frequency” to which you refer.
 
In the case of some scrupulous people, yes, every week might be problematic.

This is something I have a little experience in dealing with, you know. Whereas you didn’t know what scrupulosity was until this afternoon.
 
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edward_george1 said:
In the case of some scrupulous people, yes, every week might be problematic.
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I received quite the opposite response when my spiritual director told me about confession. He wanted me going as often as needed, and not to confess only to him if he wasn’t at confession that day.
 
Clearly your spiritual director thinks that’s appropriate. I don’t know you, so I don’t know if that’s good advice or not.

I am speaking generally.

But I’m done with this thread, since I can’t seem to comment on this subject without somehow inviting nitpicking.
 
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Sorry Father if that came across as criticism. Just sharing my experience is all.
 
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